One year after my unnatural death, my husband brought his new girlfriend to visit my grave. A neighboring ghost patted my shoulder to comfort me, saying that everyone needs to move on. But I was trembling with fear. Because his new girlfriend… was using my heart. 1 It’s been a year since I died. Lucas would make time every week to visit me, bringing lots of offerings and even flowers. The neighboring ghosts remarked that such devoted men were rare these days. I could only respond with a bitter laugh. Lucas tenderly traced my photo on the tombstone with his thumb, his eyes full of deep contemplation and longing. Who would have thought? This man, who once slept clutching my tombstone, had found a new girlfriend just one week after my death. And they seemed to be getting along splendidly, inseparable. I had seen his new girlfriend before – she was one of his patients, a pretty young woman. When I was alive, she would visit Lucas almost every day. When her heart wasn’t feeling well, she’d come for treatment. When her heart was fine, she’d come for an ECG. She liked Lucas, and continued to pursue him even after learning he was married. Once, while using Lucas’s phone to look something up, I saw a message pop up from her. [Dr. Lin, would you mind having another girlfriend?] Lucas immediately snatched the phone from my hand and replied expressionlessly: [Yes, I would mind.] Lucas wouldn’t cheat during our marriage – I was confident about that. Because he had devoted all his energy to medicine since childhood. It took a lot of effort on my part to finally win him over. During that time, I never saw him fall for anyone else, male or female. Including me. Lucas didn’t love me, I always knew that. He agreed to my proposal only because he was used to having me by his side. But now, Lucas had seamlessly transitioned to a new girlfriend. The girl got out of the car. Her fingernails and lips were no longer purple, so it seemed her congenital heart disease had been cured. They stood hand in hand before my tombstone. “Olivia, I have some good news to tell you. Lucas and I are getting married next month.” “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him for you.” “I hope you’re happy and at peace over there.” I sat on my tombstone, grinding my teeth in frustration. Lucas was no longer the Lucas I knew. He took a wet wipe from his pocket, lifted the girl’s hand, and carefully cleaned a speck of dust from her index finger. He actually couldn’t bear to let even a single grain of dust from my tombstone touch her. I pinched my arm, feeling sorry for myself. Lucas only stood there for ten minutes before leaving. As they brushed past me, I felt a familiar sensation. It didn’t come from my body, but from Lucas’s new girlfriend. I moved closer to her. I heard a familiar heartbeat – one, two, three… The neighboring ghost patted my shoulder to comfort me, but I froze in place. Because the heart beating in Lucas’s new girlfriend’s chest… was mine. 2 My death wasn’t natural, but only I knew that. On my way from the suburbs to the hospital, someone deliberately crashed into my car. I avoided the first attempt but couldn’t escape the second. It felt like every bone and muscle in my body had been rearranged. Blood was everywhere. With shaking hands, I called Lucas. “…Lucas, I…” “I have an emergency surgery. Can we talk later?” “Goodbye.” I called five or six times, but each call was shorter than the last. Finally, he got impatient and turned off his phone. I was about to die. I wanted to tell him that. But unfortunately, in his heart, I couldn’t compare to one of his surgeries, couldn’t compare to his medical career. He was a doctor who saved lives. He could save everyone, except me. My body was taken to the crematorium by the perpetrator that same day. Two hours later, I was reduced to a handful of ashes. The whole process went unusually smoothly. It wasn’t until after I died that I learned his emergency surgery that day was a heart transplant, and the patient was that young girl. Which meant that in the operating room that day, the beating heart Lucas held… was mine. I watched his gradually receding figure. Suddenly, I was curious. If Lucas knew that in that surgery, he had personally sewn my heart into someone else, would he suddenly break down? 3 The girl had a pretty name – Melody. She chatted excitedly with Lucas, not at all like someone who would say such disturbing things. “Lucas, let me walk the rest of the path with you. I’m sure Olivia would agree.” She raised her hand to cover her heart, smiling smugly. “It’s a good thing I got this. Look, now I not only have a healthy body and a healthy heart, but I also have you.” Lucas smiled at her. I was smiling too, but it was a cold smile. Because my heart wasn’t actually healthy. I had a hereditary heart condition. Only Lucas knew about this, and he had been treating me for it. Under his treatment, my heart pain went from once a week to once a year. By my calculations, Melody should be due for an attack soon. The car quickly stopped at the entrance to their apartment complex. They went home together. It was a 2000 square foot apartment with a cat and a dog – practically my ideal complete home. As soon as the door opened, the cat and dog rushed over. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling worthless. When we first got married, I wanted to keep pets too, but Lucas talked me out of it. He said it was too much work, that I didn’t have time to take care of them. Later, when I found a stray cat, he advised against keeping it too. He said the cat had feline distemper and ringworm. But now, Lucas was gazing at Melody playing with the cat and dog, lost in thought. I don’t know if it was my heart responding to my emotions, but Melody suddenly pressed her hand to her chest. Her face turned a bit pale. “Lucas, I feel like I can’t breathe properly.” Lucas snapped out of his daze. He tilted his head quizzically and offered an explanation. “Could it be because the cat is shedding heavily?” He pointed at the ragdoll cat on the floor. I looked at him in surprise. Lucas had a PhD and was practically an expert in his field. Moreover, he had always known the symptoms of my attacks. How could he say something so unprofessional? Melody stood up from the floor and moved away from the cat, trying to take deep breaths. But it was useless. After the chest tightness came radiating pain from the heart. Sure enough, Melody hunched over, her brows furrowed tightly, afraid to move. She had never experienced this kind of pain before. Tears streamed down her face. She panicked: “Lucas, my whole chest hurts so much now.” “Is there something wrong with my heart?” Lucas walked over unhurriedly. He came to Melody’s side and comforted her. “It’s nothing, don’t overthink it.” “In your condition, it’s just a stitch. It’ll pass on its own in a while.” I was even more surprised. This kind of pain would indeed disappear after a while, as Lucas said, but without medication, it would hurt again the next day. Lucas couldn’t possibly not know this. A few minutes later, Melody’s pain did subside. Lucas gave her a white pill. He wiped the sweat from her brow. “It’s a sedative. You’ve only had your heart transplant for a year, you need more rest.” Melody took the pill and went to bed. I saw Lucas standing by the floor-to-ceiling window, playing with a white pill bottle in his hand. I recognized it, even knew it well. Because that pill bottle contained my heart medication, which Lucas had given me back then. Could it be that he had discovered the heart in Melody’s chest was mine? 4 The next day, Melody woke up. “Lucas, it’s so good to have you. I love you so much.” I saw her stand on tiptoe, as if wanting to kiss Lucas, but the next second she pressed her left chest again. Ten hours had passed, and she was having another attack. No matter how slow she was, she should realize by now that these symptoms were very similar to mine. The white pill bottle had long been thrown into the trash by Lucas and sent to the garbage station, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Instead, he gently patted Melody’s back. When she felt a little better, he suggested, “Let’s go to the hospital for a check-up.” Lucas drove. They left at 9 AM and didn’t arrive at the hospital until 1
By the time they did the physical examination, Melody’s heart pain had long subsided. The test results also showed that her heart was healthy. With Lucas personally overseeing the examination, Melody was reassured. I watched as Lucas, with infinite tenderness, raised his hand to caress Melody’s cheek. But what he said next was unexpected. “Melody, since everything’s fine, you should go home first.” “I have to do rounds later, and there’s a surgery in the afternoon.” “Your heart still needs rest. On our wedding day, I’ll definitely make our relationship public.” I was stunned. Lucas hadn’t made their relationship public. But that made sense. After all, becoming romantically involved with your patient would be quite unethical for a doctor. Melody’s eyes dimmed. She left, looking back every few steps. Lucas was indeed very busy after that. He went with several doctors to check on patients in various wards. After finishing in the morning, Lucas hurriedly ate lunch and was about to go into surgery. I followed him into the operating room, seeing for the first time what he looked like holding a scalpel. I had always known that his hands were called “miraculous”. Every surgery he performed had never failed. But now, these holy hands trembled slightly at the moment of suturing. 5 The surgery was successful. I heard others discussing quietly. “Did Dr. Lin’s hand shake just now? Is he too tired?” “Luckily nothing went wrong.” “You newcomers don’t know. A year ago around this time, Dr. Lin’s wife was killed in a car accident. He had just finished surgery and ran to the funeral home without even changing his clothes.” “So many people have tried to set him up, but he refused them all. Ah, it’s the first time I’ve seen such pure love in real life.” I laughed at how young and naive they were, thinking everyone was capable of pure love. Lucas wasn’t refusing others, he had already found someone. For example, right now, as soon as the surgery was over, he eagerly opened his phone. The latest message was from Melody. [Lucas, which hotel are we going to tonight? I’m waiting for you.] Followed by two shy emojis. They were both adults. A year was enough time for them to develop a more intimate relationship. But to my surprise, Lucas replied: [I’m tired. I’m going home first.] He meant our home. The door opened. The furniture in the room was still the same as before, even the photos hanging on the wall were still there – all pictures of me and Lucas traveling to various places. I stared at them, lost in thought. But he showed no emotional reaction. The house still used smart lights. As soon as the door opened, the lights automatically turned on. The aroma of food wafted through the entire living room, seemingly from nowhere. Lucas casually took off his coat and hung it on the rack. He blurted out: “Sister, I’m home. What’s for dinner tonight?” I was stunned. So was he. I was two years older than Lucas. Due to my heart condition, I started school two years later than him. Lucas liked to call me “sister”, and I loved his cool voice when he did. But now, I was angry. How had I never realized before? Although he called me “sister” verbally, combined with what he said next, how was it any different from calling out “Mrs. Wang”? Lucas was silent for a moment. He raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyelashes, like crow feathers, lowered, concealing the emotions in his eyes. The lights in the room were warm, but he stood at the doorway, his back slightly bent, his tall figure giving off a sense of lonely silence. If I had seen him like this before, I would have felt heartbroken. But now, I just wanted to laugh coldly. After all, I had lost my life. Shouldn’t he be sighing and reminiscing every day, heartbroken for a lifetime? 6 Lucas’s emotional change was very brief. In the following days, he returned to being the steady, emotionless Dr. Lin that people knew. Melody often came to see him, and sometimes they would go out on dates at night. Melody’s smile grew brighter each day. She was about to get married. “Lucas, are you coming to my place tonight?” She hooked her finger into Lucas’s palm. “My dad wants to discuss our wedding plans with you.” Lucas nodded in agreement. The car stopped in front of a mansion. The driver opened the door, and a butler came to greet them. I suddenly understood. Melody was rich, a wealthy heiress. She had the financial means to give Lucas better resources. But I was different. Lucas and I were both from orphanages, with no money or background. We even had to fight for the opportunity to study. During the most difficult times, we ate instant noodles for a month in our rented room. Fortunately, I later earned some money, enough to cover our expenses and financially support him through his master’s, doctorate, and studies abroad. But this money ultimately couldn’t compare to that of a rich heiress. What I thought was the sweetness after bitterness was just what he considered a matter of course. Melody’s father was a kindly old man. After dinner, he patted Lucas’s shoulder, gesturing for him to go to the living room to discuss matters. Melody held Lucas’s hand, full of reluctance. The old man chuckled: “Don’t worry, I’m just borrowing your lover for a bit. Your dad is leaving too, how come you’re not reluctant to see me go, you little ingrate.” Melody bit her lip sheepishly. I followed them to the living room. The old man smiled: “Lucas, I heard that a year ago in the operating room you performed surgery on, my daughter had a massive hemorrhage. You stood there for six hours straight and saved her life. I’m very grateful.” “It was my duty.” After Lucas stated his position, the old man didn’t beat around the bush. But their next conversation shocked me. “Your ex-wife didn’t have heart disease, did she?” “Little Melody cried and insisted on having her heart, and she happened to be a universal donor, so I found someone to… But you also benefited from misfortune. My daughter fell for you. Once you marry into our family, you’ll have plenty of money and power in the future.” “No one will look down on you for being an orphan anymore.” They were essentially laying all their cards on the table. Half of Lucas’s face was hidden in shadow. The light and shadow on his face outlined his features, making his expression seem both angry and indifferent. He slowly raised his hand. The old man stared at him unblinkingly, wanting to know what his attitude would be. I stared at him too, wanting to know how he would react. 7 Lucas raised his hand and placed it in front of the old man. His back was slightly hunched. “Father-in-law.” The old man laughed heartily, saying “good” several times. I knew reality wasn’t like novels. Many people discard their conscience for money. I just never thought Lucas would be one of them. He had completely abandoned his professional ethics as a doctor. The young man I loved no longer existed. Lucas knew about my unnatural death. I thought he would at least report it to the police, considering our 30-year relationship. But not only did he not do that, he even joined the team of murderers who killed me, becoming their son-in-law. Lucas might have felt guilty. He left the Johnson house and drove to the cemetery. He stood in front of my tombstone, doing nothing, just standing there. As night fell, many mourners had already left the cemetery, but Lucas sat down on the ground. He hugged my tombstone and fell asleep like this. The first time he did this was five days after I was buried. At that time, seeing him sleep all night hugging my tombstone, I felt both heartbroken and happy. I thought that after 30 years of persistence, I had finally broken through his cement-like exterior and touched his heart. I didn’t expect that he was just feeling guilty, because that day was when he got together with Melody. Now he was using the same trick again. But this time, I only felt disgusted and upset.
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