I’ve been childhood friends with Jack for as long as I can remember, and I’ve had a secret crush on him for ten years. I always thought that if I waited long enough, he would eventually notice me. That is, until Jack’s birthday party. He showed up holding hands with my best friend, Vanessa. They kissed passionately amidst everyone’s congratulations. Then Jack said that to him, I was nothing more than a convenient helper. Jack has always been incredibly handsome, so he’s had a constant stream of admirers and girlfriends since we were young. I was the only one who stayed by his side all this time. I always thought I was special to him, carefully hiding my feelings while doing whatever he asked. Jack’s friends often teased him, saying, “Jack, you’ve got yourself a loyal little sidekick, don’t you?” Jack never denied it. This year, Jack turned twenty-four. One day, after waking up from a post-breakup drinking binge, I was in the kitchen cooking when Jack came up behind me and patted my head. “Tangerine,” he said, using my nickname, “what would I do without you? I’d probably starve to death, wouldn’t I?” “You know what? Maybe we should just get together,” he added casually. His offhand comment nearly stopped my heart. I froze, unable to speak. But Jack laughed it off first. “Just kidding. You’re not really my type.” I shooed Jack out of the kitchen and continued cooking alone. His two sentences had lifted me up, only to shatter me completely. After I finished cooking, I left. Jack lazily said goodbye, “Come back soon, Tangerine.” I didn’t answer, practically fleeing from his apartment. When I got home, my college roommate Vanessa was there, inviting me to eat some strawberries with her. Looking at Vanessa sitting on the couch in just her pajamas, her face bare of makeup yet still breathtakingly beautiful, I couldn’t help but feel dejected. If only I were that pretty, maybe Jack would like me. Of course, Jack has always been attracted to beautiful, glamorous, dazzling women. And me? I’m just ordinary, unremarkable. Like one of the countless stars in the sky – most people probably couldn’t even name me if they tried. Seeing me lost in thought, Vanessa pinched my cheek. “Why so dazed? You’ve been acting weird ever since you came back from seeing your crush today.” “Did you two have a fight?” Vanessa knew I had liked someone for a long time, so she occasionally teased me about it. I shook my head. “What crush? We’re just friends. Don’t make things up.” “Oh, come on. If you like him, just admit it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you like him, confess. If he doesn’t like you back, at least you can move on. Why torture yourself like this?” She was right, but it was hard for me to do. After all, I had liked him for ten years. But this time, I silently told myself: one last chance. If it doesn’t work out this time, I’ll give up. On my birthday, I invited Jack out for dinner. But I didn’t expect him to come to my rented apartment while I was out. Jack and Vanessa met face to face. They chatted briefly, but to me, they looked like a perfect match – the handsome guy and the beautiful girl. I dug my nails into my palms, telling myself it was nothing. After Vanessa left, Jack excitedly bumped my shoulder. “Wow, Tangerine! I can’t believe you never told me you had such a gorgeous friend.” “You never asked,” I replied. It’s true. He never cared about my studies, my life, or my friends. It had always been me chasing after him. “Hey, give me her SnapChat. I’ll treat you to something nice in return.” I shook my head, forcing myself to say, “She doesn’t like guys like you.” “Oh, come on. Just give it to me, will you?” In the end, I gave it to him. But I thought that since Vanessa had known me for so long and knew I liked Jack, she surely wouldn’t accept his advances. After that, Jack occasionally came to my rented apartment. He and Vanessa didn’t talk much; they weren’t very familiar with each other. This reassured me. I was planning to confess to Jack at his birthday party a month later. If it didn’t work out, I would give up. But I was sure it would work. After all this time, he must have noticed me by now. I prepared for a long time, deciding what to wear to the birthday party and even revising my confession speech more than a dozen times. However, I failed to notice Vanessa’s increasingly frequent late nights out and the happy smile on her face. On the day of Jack’s birthday, he invited many friends. I deliberately wore a beautiful long dress. Before I left, Vanessa gave me a strange look. Her words were odd too. “Why are you dressing up so formally for his birthday? People might think it’s a proposal or something.” I detected a hint of mockery in her words, but when I turned to look at her, she was just staring at her phone. When I arrived at the private room, Jack wasn’t there yet. I knew Jack’s friends, and they sat next to me, teasing, “Tangerine, you’re dressed so beautifully today. Are you going to confess to Jack?” “Good luck! If you succeed, you have to treat us all to drinks!” “Sure,” I agreed with a smile. Jack arrived half an hour later. Everyone was pushing me, ready to shove me in front of Jack as soon as he opened the door. But to everyone’s surprise, he walked in holding Vanessa’s hand. The hands pushing me suddenly stopped. The atmosphere instantly became awkward. I stood there holding a bouquet of flowers, feeling completely out of place. Vanessa broke the silence first. “Jack, look at the flowers Tangerine bought for you. Thank her, won’t you?” Jack tightened his grip on Vanessa’s hand. “How generous of you.” Then he turned to me and said perfunctorily, “Thanks, Tangerine.” For the rest of the evening, I hid in a corner, looking down at my now ridiculous dress and feeling utterly foolish. So, the feelings that all his friends knew about – how could he not have known? So, because I wasn’t pretty enough, I was destined not to be liked by him. But Vanessa, whom he had only known for a short time, could capture his heart. The sofa beside me dipped as Vanessa sat down. There was a smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. She apologized, “I’m sorry, Tangerine. I didn’t tell you about us getting together.” “But you can’t control these things in relationships. You should face reality.” I looked at her, shocked. I never expected Vanessa, whom I had known for years, to be like this. She dismissed my confusion with disdain. “Don’t you understand yet? He likes beautiful women.” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t argue. For the rest of the evening, Jack blew out the candles on his cake, then embraced Vanessa and kissed her under the lights. At that moment, I decided: I don’t want to like Jack anymore, and I don’t want to be friends with Vanessa anymore. I took Jack’s house key out of my pocket and put it in Vanessa’s bag. As I was about to leave, Vanessa grabbed me. Her beautiful features were even more captivating as she spoke with a pitiful expression, “Tangerine, I know you’re angry with me. But I’m sorry, you can’t control love. I promise I’ll treat Jack well.” For a moment, I froze in place. Not just me, but Jack’s friends were stunned too. She was doing this on purpose, humiliating me in front of everyone. I wanted to say something, but Jack beat me to it. “What are you talking about? Tangerine and I are just like siblings. I’d never like someone like her. Right, Tangerine?” Fighting back tears, I looked at Jack and Vanessa in the silent room. “Yes, I used to like Jack. But from today on, I will never like Jack again. If I do, may I drop dead.” After I said this, Jack’s expression changed dramatically. “And Vanessa, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. You disgust me.” With that, I left. But as soon as I got out the door, Jack caught up with me. His voice was cold. “Lily, apologize to Vanessa.” I shook off his hand. “Apologize my ass. I was an idiot for ever liking you.” Seeing Jack’s shocked expression, I turned and left. This time, he didn’t follow. I walked down the street in my dress, hunched over and sobbing uncontrollably. I cried for a long time before I noticed someone behind me. Through my tears, I saw a guy in a black hoodie standing not far away, watching me. He was quite handsome. I crouched down, picked up a brick, and pointed it at him. “If you keep following me, I’ll fight you to the death.” My outburst made everyone around us stare at me and the guy. The guy frowned slightly and walked towards me. “Wipe your tears and look at who I am.” I didn’t have any tissues, and I had been sniffling back my runny nose. How could I wipe my face? The guy sighed, rummaged in his pocket for a while, but found nothing. I watched him turn to a girl nearby and say, “Excuse me, do you have any tissues? I’ll pay for them. My friend just had a breakup.” Eventually, he got a pack of tissues. He stood in front of me, opened the pack, and started wiping my face, mixing my tears and snot together. I pushed him away, but at least I could see clearly now. The guy in front of me was very handsome, even more so than Jack. He frowned, “Do you recognize me now?” I shook my head. “No, who are you?” After I said this, the guy laughed coldly. “Last time you rode my bike to the department office to get a stamp, you punctured both my tires in four places. You even said, ‘Mr. President, I will forever remember your great kindness. Your image and smile will always be in my heart.’” “Oh, and now you don’t even remember what I look like?” ! I remembered now. It was Ryan, the former student council president. But he had stepped down half a year ago. It was normal that I didn’t remember him, right? I tried to sniffle back my runny nose. “What brings you here? Are you here to ask for compensation for your bike? Can we talk about it tomorrow? Waaah…” I was about to cry again when a tissue was thrust in my face. Ryan commanded coldly, “Cry again and you’ll have to pay for the bike.” “So… what are you doing here?” “I was out for dinner and saw you walking down the street with your mouth wide open, wailing like a mobile broadcast van. I came to see what the fuss was about. No good intentions here.” “…” How mean. “Have you seen enough then?” I lowered my head, feeling dejected. Ryan sighed and took off his hoodie, putting it over my head. “Stop crying. I’ll take you home. Are you living on campus or off-campus? It’s already 10 PM, it’s not safe for you to walk alone like this.” “Oh, thank you, Mr. President. When I have money, I’ll definitely pay you back for your bike tires.” “Don’t call me President anymore. I stepped down long ago. Call me Ryan.” It would take about 20 minutes to walk to my apartment from here, and I had been walking in the opposite direction earlier. Now I had to turn back. Ryan’s face seemed to attract a lot of attention, but more people seemed to be looking at me. I blinked, and an eyelash fell out. Oh right, I had put on fake eyelashes today for my confession to Jack. They cost over ten dollars a pair. What a waste. Suddenly, I remembered that I still shared an apartment with Vanessa. I sniffled and looked at Ryan sheepishly. “I have a favor to ask.” He glanced at me, frowning without hesitation. “Then don’t ask.” “Please, I’m begging you. My best friend got together with the guy I’ve liked for ten years. Will you help me move out if I tell you the whole story?” “… At 10:30 PM? Moving? Have you even thought about where you’re going to move to?” “No! But even if I have to sleep on the streets, I have to move out!” Ryan closed his eyes helplessly, pondering for a long time before finally agreeing. “Stop crying. Fine, we’ll move. I must be crazy to get involved in this mess.” I called a moving van, and it took Ryan and me back to my rented apartment. This kind-hearted sucker started helping me move. He was really efficient at it. But we had only moved half of my stuff when Vanessa and Jack came back. They stared at the mess of things at the door and Ryan and me bustling in and out. After a moment, Vanessa shrieked, “Lily, what are you doing?” I glanced at her without answering. As Ryan passed by Jack carrying my oven, he deliberately bumped into him hard. Then he turned back to ask me, “Why does a college student living in a rented apartment need an oven?” This oven was actually bought to bake cupcakes for Jack, and Vanessa had eaten plenty of them too. In the end, she betrayed me because of Jack’s hurtful words about me. I guess those cupcakes were wasted on ungrateful dogs. I glanced at Jack and Vanessa before answering, “I bought it to bake cupcakes for these two-timing dogs.”
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