In my third paralysed year, my husband’s female partner gave me a pair of high heels. They were a beautiful pair of high heels. I looked at my skinny legs and angrily threw the shoes at her. My husband got angry. “You think Rose was taunting you by giving you the shoes?” “She doesn’t see you as disabled at all! It’s respect!” ChapterI sat in my wheelchair and opened the door. The crowd in the living room fell silent. My husband Joel and his gymnastics team members held their glasses and turned their heads to look at me in unison. Joel was shocked, “How did you… come out?” I was disappointed. I helped make this celebration happen. The gymnastics team won an international award, and I was the key designer of the program. No one cared if I was there. The atmosphere was awkward. My husband’s partner, Rosalie Hans, smiled at me condescendingly. “Jeanne, we won’t disturb you.” “This is a gift from the gymnastics team.” She held a gift box in front of me. The high heels in the box were covered with diamonds and shone in the light. “We chose this together. Do you like it?” My heart suddenly ached. I held down my unconscious legs, and the bones under my palms reminded me that these legs had long lost the ability to stand. They knew my legs were ruined and I couldn’t stand, and they still chose such a gift. But before I could open my mouth, Joel said, “Why don’t you thank Rose? ” I took a deep breath, looked up and asked him, “You know this gift, right? You gave high heels to a paralysed person! How dare you!” “Your feet aren’t broken, can’t you wear these? We don’t treat you like a disabled person. It’s called respect.” “You know what’s in your heart!” I yelled. He got impatient and said, “Don’t blame Rose.” “She asked about your hobbies and found out you have lots of high heels. That’s why she chose this gift.” He got it wrong. Before I was paralysed, I liked buying shoes. But since I’ve been paralysed, I can only throw all my high heels into the cupboard. My heart is sore. Chapter
When I was paralysed, he hugged me and said, “I love you no matter what.” When I was scared, he said, “I’ll be your legs from now on.” He bathed and massaged me every day and sent me for acupuncture and massage. This went on for three years. One day, he said the name Rosalie Hans. We had less and less to talk about, and he came back later and later every day. He became detached and cold. He even forgot the day of my treatment. We had a qurrel one day. Rosalie came to calm us down. “Alright, Joel, I’m scared when you’re like this.” She stroked Joel’s chest, then squatted in front of my wheelchair. “Jeanne, don’t think about sad things. Let me help you try on your shoes.” She grabbed my legs without waiting for my consent. Then she lifted the hem of the dress. A withered, bony leg appeared. Joel had not accompanied me for rehab for more than two years because recovery was hopeless. He closed his eyes when he saw my legs. Joel turned away, disgusted. “You can see pressure sores all over your legs. Hurry up and put down your clothes.” “Shame on you!” She laughed, seeing me staring at her. “Don’t talk about Jeanne like that. She was a very good dancer.” With envy in her mouth, she forcefully twisted my leg outward at a strange angle. “Try on the shoes. Joel and I chose them together.” The high heel sits empty on my foot, mocking my ungainly leg bones. The taunts came and went. I clenched my fists and bit my lip. I snatched the high heels and slammed them into her face. “Get out!” “Don’t touch me!” She let out a scream and turned to rush into Joel’s arms, crying with tears streaming down her face. Joel grabbed her and kicked my wheelchair. I was pushed back towards the table with drinks. The glass broke on my head. I also fell out of the wheelchair. I reflexively reached out to Joel, hoping he could give me a hand. But he looked disgusted. “Rose gave you a shoe fitting, don’t be ungrateful!” I was angry and wanted to hit something. “Joel, you guys are too much! Bullying me for being disabled?” “You’re unbelievable. Who bullied you? Our gift is respect!” “You’re wicked.” I was shocked and speechless. That’s what he thought of me. He wouldn’t let me go to the banquet today. To stop me going to the living room. Joel even changed my cold medicine to sleeping pills. He thought I didn’t know. But for three years, over a thousand sleepless nights, I relied on this tiny pill to fall asleep. After taking too much medicine, one develops patience. I can’t sleep deeply with just one pill now. My eyes grew moist. When we first fell in love, he was able to wait for hours outside the theatre to introduce me to his best friend. I knew that hearts change, but it still hurt when it came to this day. Chapter
Three years ago, we saw a mudslide on the road. A boulder hit Joel in the back, and blood spilled out. I was only a little hurt sitting in the back. I cried and asked the system again. “Can he stand up now?” “No, his nerves are damaged.” What can we do? He’s young and his gymnastics career has just started. How can he die in this accident? I can’t bear the thought of him suffering. I asked the system, “Can I still use the points earned from previous?” “What do you want?” “I want to trade my legs to him.” “Host, are you crazy? If you give it to him, you’ll never dance again.” I nodded. “I’d rather suffer than see him suffer.” I’d rather see him healthy and happy. I cleared all my points and had the system switch my leg to him. From then on, I was paralysed in bed. Joel was lucky to be alive after being pressed under a boulder. He didn’t know I was the price he paid for everything. I was paralysed for a month. I was in pain and confused. I had no sleep and lost hair. Joel took a month off to take care of me. He supported me through my darkest time and our bond grew stronger. I got used to living in a wheelchair. Joel’s gymnastics career improved and we moved from a small house to a big villa. I taught myself program design in a wheelchair. I couldn’t dance, but I could design dance moves on the computer. Second year paralysed. I designed unique moves for their team. They did really well at the National Gymnastics Competition and are going to represent the USA at the World Championships next month. I called the system “The legs we switched back then, can we change them back?” “Yes, but there aren’t enough points left.” “How do I get the points?” “You’ll get points when you complete a random mission.” Chapter
I went to the stage at Pleasant Plaza in my wheelchair. There”s an open-air interview today. The couple are Joel and Rose, the golden pair of gymnasts. The host said the woman should touch Joel’s chest for the fans. Rose covered her face and then extended her hand. Joel looked at her with love, not backing away. He said he and Rose were only sponsoring the gymnastics team and nothing more. I kept seeing Rose’s name. “Rose did another difficult manoeuvre today!” “Rose and I work well together!” “Rose …” Some fans noticed me. “This is Joel’s wife?” “He’s got a wife.” “She’s pathetic. I heard she used to be a dancer.” “She’s still a cripple, she’s not good enough for him.” I ignored the comments. The director called the camera crew off and told the two men to continue filming after they’d solved their problems. Joel ran up, angry, and asked, “Why are you here?” I tilted my head and said, “I came to watch your interview.” “Go home! ” Joel’s disciple, Adam said loudly, “Hey, what are you doing here?” Rose came over and apologised, “Sorry, Jeanne. I was shooting and didn’t think. ” The crowd was unhappy that I didn”t accept her apology. “What’s with her face? Rose apologised and she still looks angry.” Some fans started a live broadcast, making things worse. Adam stared at me and laughed. “Why does it smell like urine? Is someone incontinent again?” “It really smells.” “It”s disgusting.” I laughed. Joel looked at me with contempt. “Joel, they’re insulting your wife.” He frowned, “Wife? We’re divorced.” He didn’t look at me. I sneered, “When did we get divorced?” There was more commotion. “You’re divorced and you’re still here, aren’t you?” “Get lost!” The crowd pushed me and I lost my balance. I fell forward and someone stepped on my leg. I thought I heard bones clicking and breaking. Adam scolded me, “You should have gone home.” Joel didn’t stop. He sneered, “I know what you want to see.” He gave Rose’s hand to me. I realised they were wearing the same couple watch. What’s not to understand? We had a watch like this. We were just starting out in our careers. We earned less and spent more. We saved money to get married. In summer, we went to the mall, sat in the air conditioning, ate ice cream. We shared it. He got a part-time job and bought two watches. This watch has been worn for several years. One day, his wrist was empty. He said he couldn’t find it. Joel is wearing a watch again. It wasn’t the original one. I said coldly, “Is that your answer?” Joel looked away. “I’ve done my best for you.” “See you at the Civil Affairs Bureau.”
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