After my first love passed away, it was Zack who helped me move on with his eight years of secret love and two years of companionship. But when we finally got together, he became discontented. He had a one-night stand with a woman who had a crush on him, and she got pregnant. He forced me to have an abortion. “As long as you accept that child, we’ll be even.” “Julia, I just saw my former self in her. In your eyes, was I also that pitiful and lowly?” Zack and I had another argument about the baby. Early in the morning, I was in the study organizing some files when Zack, already dressed, suddenly spoke up. “When are you free?” “Why?” I asked, distracted. “We need to go get the procedure done as soon as possible,” he said. My attention was focused on the contract in front of me, and it took me a moment to register what he meant. “What procedure?” Zack’s gaze dropped to my stomach. I froze, the documents still in my hand. For a moment, we were both silent. After a long pause, I turned to look at him. “Zack, are you trying to divorce me?” He was taken aback and quickly shook his head. “How could that be possible? Why would I want to divorce you?” “Then why are you insisting I terminate this pregnancy?” I didn’t understand. I had discovered I was pregnant about two weeks ago. After working on two cases back-to-back, I had fainted in the conference room. My boss was terrified, thinking I’d had a heart attack from overwork. But when they checked, they found out I was pregnant. It was good news. I was thrilled. I thought Zack would be just as happy as I was. But after hearing the news, he fell silent. That night he tossed and turned, and for the next three days, he seemed distracted. On the fourth day, he said to me, “The timing isn’t right. We can have another one later. This one… let’s just forget about it!” He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, to abort our baby. We had a huge fight and parted on bad terms. I moved out of our house and stayed in a hotel for a week. During that week, I refused to see Zack and rejected all his calls. Later, he came to find me, looking dejected. “Julia, is it that you’ll never look back at me unless I give in? You can’t be that cruel to me!” Cruel? I had long since lost the ability to be cruel to Zack. I naturally went back home with him. We glossed over the issue of the baby. I thought I’d wait until things calmed down and find a good time to talk to him properly. But before I could bring it up, he mentioned it again.
My accusation made Zack frown in frustration. “Didn’t I already tell you? The timing isn’t right! Why do you insist on having this baby now? We can have children later, but not this one!” Zack’s words felt like heavy stones pressing down on my heart. I let out a long sigh. “During that week I stayed at the hotel, I thought about many possibilities – maybe your company was in trouble, or there was something wrong with your health. I even took your medical report to see a specialist. Zack, I can’t understand. We’re legally married, we don’t have any relationship problems, I’m pregnant – isn’t having this baby the natural thing to do? The timing isn’t right? That reason doesn’t convince me!” Zack fell silent again. Just when I thought this conversation was going to end without resolution, he said, “I’ll take you to meet someone.”
On the way, neither of us spoke. I was a bit angry. I knew Zack was definitely hiding something from me. He didn’t want to tell me. But this secret was related to why he didn’t want our baby. Now, he was probably going to reveal this secret to me. I thought, no matter what his reason was, I was truly angry this time. He had hurt me. I wouldn’t forgive him so easily. But at the same time, no matter what his reason was, he was my love, and I would get through this with him. That’s what I really thought. I was prepared to weather this storm with him. But later I realized how foolish I had been. The car drove across half the city before stopping. I looked in the direction Zack was pointing. It was a flower shop. The shop owner, wearing a loose dress, was smiling as she saw off a customer. After the customer left, she tiredly pressed her hand against her back. She was pregnant, her belly quite large – she looked like she was almost due. “Do you recognize her?” Zack asked. I hesitated and shook my head. She looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t place her. “Think harder,” he said. I frowned at Zack. “Who is she? And what does she have to do with us?” Zack looked into the distance, his expression blank. “Tessa. Our high school classmate.” I thought for a while before finally digging up the memory of this person. In our three years of high school, there was a very special girl – short hair, outgoing, played the piano. She participated in the school’s arts festival every year. Her appearance was already blurry in my memory. But I vividly remembered how she played the piano like she was waging war. I also remembered that she had done something very bold once – publicly confessing her love for Zack over the school’s broadcast system. I suddenly turned my head to look at Zack. “She liked you!” Zack didn’t deny it. “I thought it was just a youthful impulse. But when I met her again a year ago, she told me she still liked me!” My breath caught for a moment, and my hands on my knees slowly tightened. “What are you trying to say?” Zack met my gaze. “Thirteen years! I loved you for thirteen years, and she loved me for thirteen years. Do you know? I saw my own reflection in her – pitiful and lowly.” “So?” Zack laughed bitterly. “Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, do you really like me? Do you like me more, or…” Zack didn’t say the name, but we both knew he meant Finn. My first love. Who died from heart disease. Zack had used his eight years of secret love and two years of companionship to help me let down my guard. I thought he understood me. But now, after three years of marriage, he was still hung up on this question. “Zack, what exactly are you trying to say?” The sadness on his face disappeared, replaced by a blank expression as he looked at me. “I don’t care anymore, even if you can never let him go in your heart, even if I’m always second to him. Julia, as long as you accept the child in Tessa’s belly, we’ll be even, and we can start over!” “What did you say?” For a moment, I thought I must have misheard. “The child in Tessa’s belly is yours? Zack, are you telling me you cheated on me?” “I didn’t!” Zack rubbed his forehead tiredly, “I just gave her a child!” My face turned cold. I got out of the car, slammed the door, and started to walk away. “Julia!” Zack caught up with me, grabbing my hand tightly. “I know you can’t accept this right away, but you can think about it. I just hope we can be together more equally, instead of me always being the one to give in!” My whole body tensed up, and I gritted out each word. “Let go of me!” “Zack, you disgust me!” Zack’s grip suddenly loosened. “What did you say?” “I said, you disgust me!” He laughed abruptly. “Disgust? You say I disgust you?” “So you’re just like everyone else, thinking I’m your lapdog, is that it?” “I’ve been devoted to you for ten years, and you finally took pity on me and married me. But even now, you still haven’t let go of him in your heart.” “You know what? I’m a laughingstock in other people’s eyes!”
Zack’s emotions were getting more and more intense. But my heart was growing colder. When Finn passed away, it was Zack who stayed by my side. He told me he had secretly loved me for eight years. “From the start of high school until now, eight years, I’ve only ever liked you.” I rejected him, not wanting to use him to heal my own pain. He said it was okay. “Even if you don’t like me, it doesn’t matter, just let me be by your side. Otherwise, I’ll worry about you.” Later, I accepted him. He was so excited he almost cried. “Even if you don’t like me as much right now, it’s okay. We have a lifetime, and I believe we’ll be together forever!” Everything seemed to be going as he wished. But at some point, he started harboring all this resentment and grievance. The tenderness and love of the past became indistinguishable from falsehood. It made me shudder!
“Zack, is that you? You came to see me?” Tessa’s voice suddenly appeared. She waddled across the street, running towards us as fast as her pregnant body would allow. Zack frowned slightly and let go of me. He stepped forward to steady Tessa. “What’s the rush? Take it easy!” Tessa stuck out her tongue playfully, happily grabbing Zack’s arm. “I wanted to see you as soon as possible! Why didn’t you call me when you came? If I hadn’t seen you…” “Tessa!” “Hmm?” “I brought Julia to see you!” The smile froze on Tessa’s face. She hurriedly let go of Zack’s hand and looked at me nervously. “J-J-Julia, long time no see!” The scene before me was too absurd. I didn’t want to stay a second longer. But Tessa hurriedly came forward, trying to grab me. I quickly stepped back. “Don’t touch me. Who’s responsible if you trip or bump into something?” Zack came between us, his tone flat as he spoke to me. “I know you’re not that kind of person!” I let out a scornful laugh and nodded. “I always thought you knew that too.” Zack was stunned for a moment, about to say something, when Tessa interrupted. She bowed deeply to me, her face pale. “Julia, it’s all my fault! I only wanted to keep this baby, I didn’t mean to disturb your lives. But there’s a problem with my health, and I might not be able to see this child grow up! But don’t worry, after I give birth, I’ll leave. I won’t affect your lives!” Zack also looked at me. “Think about it carefully. You don’t need to give me an answer right away!” “No need!” I looked back at him, “I can give you my answer right now.” “Zack, I will terminate the pregnancy!” “And then, we’re getting divorced!”
Sarah probably never imagined that the first big thing she’d do after her own divorce would be to accompany me to get an abortion. I moved out of the house. At first, Zack didn’t agree. My mention of divorce enraged him. He almost smashed half the house. “Julia, how can you say those two words so easily? After all these years, what do I mean to you?” “You don’t understand, of course you don’t understand. All along, it’s been me following behind you. Have you ever looked back at me even once?” “She waited for me for thirteen years, just wanting something to remember me by. I couldn’t refuse.” “When I see her, it’s like seeing myself.” “You think I really want that child? Julia, I just wanted you to prove to me that you love me!” I stared at Zack for a long time, feeling more and more unfamiliar with him, more and more repulsed. “No need to prove anything. Just assume I never loved you!” I said sarcastically to Sarah, “When you divorced Jack, I thought Jack was a jerk. But now I realize, at least he was more straightforward than Zack. When he was wrong, he admitted it, didn’t make excuses, and agreed to divorce quickly!” But what about Zack? In the days since I left, I had been constantly mulling over his words. For a while, I even entered his mindset and thought maybe he wasn’t wrong. He had done so much for me over the years. His kindness to me was obvious to everyone. Even his mother couldn’t help but joke, “My son was born just for you. If he gave me even a fraction of the love he gives you, I’d be over the moon.” Many people envied me, saying Zack and I ending up together was hard-won. So I did cherish it. Was I not doing enough? Or did I do something wrong? Why did Zack harbor so much resentment and dissatisfaction? Sarah held my hand, her face full of disapproval. “Wrong is wrong, right is right. It doesn’t matter who’s responsible. If he insists it’s because of you, that’s his own problem.” I smiled bitterly and lowered my head. In my career so far, I’ve handled at least 80 divorce cases, if not 100. I was always able to rationally counsel others. I was always able to accurately analyze the true motivations behind a person’s actions. I told women not to be manipulated. I thought I had seen it all and could remain calm no matter what situation arose. But when it happened to me, I realized I was just as confused as anyone else in my position. When I was wheeled out of the operating room, there were quite a few people outside. Sarah stood with her back to me, blocking Jack and Zack. Seeing me, Zack’s gaze was panicked, his smile forced. “Julia, I’ve come to take you home!” Sarah shifted, blocking him. “Mr. Zhou, will you leave on your own, or do I need to call someone to escort you out? Jack should know I have some connections.” “Sarah…” “Don’t call me that!” she said, “Birds of a feather really do flock together.” In the end, Jack pulled Zack away. Before leaving, Zack stared at me intently: “The divorce is not up to you alone.” I didn’t say anything, curling up on the hospital bed. My lower abdomen felt empty, even a bit cold. Waves of dull pain stimulated my nerves. It wasn’t an intense pain, but it made my whole body tremble. I could only burrow deeper into the blanket. This baby – I hadn’t even had time to fully process its existence before I terminated the pregnancy myself. But it was the best choice. For me, I couldn’t let an unformed child burden my entire life for the sake of so-called maternal love. For the child, why should it bear the bitter fruit of my failed marriage with Zack? It was the most rational decision. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t sad. I thought, let me be weak for just one more night. When the sun rises tomorrow morning, I’ll be that unbreakable Julia again. Sarah took me back to her place, saying she wanted to take care of me herself. She asked me what I planned to do next. “Get divorced, of course. But first I need to find out the truth!” I didn’t believe a word Zack said!
For investigating this kind of thing, I had my own channels. But actually, I only needed to clarify one thing – whether Tessa had gotten pregnant through artificial insemination. I found someone to help me check her medical records at the hospital. That afternoon, he gave me the answer. Tessa had conceived naturally. Zack’s lie fell apart on its own. He had cheated. I was mentally prepared for this answer. I also thought it wouldn’t affect me at all. But when I got out of bed to get some water, my legs gave out and I fell onto the floor mat. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I smiled bitterly and shook my head: “In the past, when I encountered women who had been betrayed by their husbands, I always watched coldly as they went crazy, cried, became hysterical. I thought I would handle it better than them!” Sarah hugged me, patting my back rhythmically. “If you want to cry, then cry. What’s the big deal? When you’re hurt, you’re allowed to be upset. There’s no rule against that!” I don’t know if it was Sarah’s words, or her actions, or the warmth from her body. At that moment, the emotions I had been suppressing for days finally burst out. Tears gushed forth, and my voice went from choked sobs to wails. I cried until I was shaking, curled up on the floor, and finally passed out. “What do you plan to do next?” “Wait.” “Wait for what?” Wait for Tessa’s child to be born. This child would be key to how I approach the divorce case. I couldn’t find evidence of Zack’s affair. For nearly a year, he hadn’t given me any reason to suspect, and now it would be even harder to investigate. But that’s okay. Once we have the paternity test, his betrayal will be proven. However, as a formality, I still need to ask Zack one question first: “Do you agree to a private mediation for our divorce?”
This was the first time I agreed to meet Zack after staying at Sarah’s house for a week. He looked a bit dazed, as if he hadn’t clearly heard what I was asking, and just stared at me intently. He said: “You were lying to me, weren’t you?” “Lying about what?” “You didn’t actually terminate the pregnancy, you were lying to me!” Zack’s words made my heart clench. “Is it necessary? Do you need the doctor to perform the surgery in front of you to believe it? Or do you want me to go back into the operating room? In your heart, is it the child who committed an unforgivable sin, or is it me who’s guilty of a heinous crime?” My words made Zack’s face gradually fill with pain. “So you just terminated our child so easily? No arguing, no crying, not even telling me! Julia, you’re so heartless! If it was Finn’s child, would you have done the same?” These words instantly enraged me. But my professional sensitivity made me catch the implication in the next second. “Zack, do you regret it? You forced me to terminate the pregnancy, and now you regret it?” Zack stood up abruptly, his face deathly pale. He said: “I won’t divorce you!” Very well, it seems private mediation is not an option. If that’s the case, there’s no need to waste time. I recuperated at Sarah’s house for half a month, and after the hospital cleared me at the follow-up, I went back to work. I had originally wanted to move out. She wouldn’t let me, saying two people keep each other company. “Let’s be divorce buddies, helping each other get through this tough time!” I thought about it and agreed it wasn’t a bad idea. I moved my things out of Zack’s place. He wasn’t supposed to be there that day, but he suddenly rushed back. He didn’t say a word the whole time. He just stood there with a cold expression, watching me bustle in and out, and finally leave. Sarah didn’t understand: “What does he mean by that?” I laughed lightly: “He wants reconciliation, but he’s not willing to lower his head. Because I haven’t pushed forward with the divorce, he thinks I’m just throwing a tantrum. At a time like this, he has to hold out – whoever gives in first loses. He might even feel a bit wronged. That’s probably what’s going on in his mind!” I didn’t expect Zack to have a sudden epiphany, cry his eyes out, or be devastated. People like that are too rare. More often, it’s resentment plus hostility. That’s reality. After taking care of everything, I went abroad again. I came back half a year later, with a promotion and a raise. During the time I was abroad for the second time, Zack sent me an email with just three words: [I’m sorry!] I replied: [If you’ve already done something to be sorry for, don’t bother saying sorry!]
Tessa went into labor two days before her due date. She was admitted to the hospital in the morning and gave birth to a big, healthy boy at 7:20 PM. Almost the entire Zhou family had shown up. When I arrived, the scene was quite heartwarming. Zack was holding the baby, his expression a mix of tenderness and melancholy. Tessa lay in the hospital bed, her eyes full of joy. If it weren’t for my appearance, this would have been the picture of a happy family of three. Zack’s mother was the first to notice me. She looked a bit awkward. “Julia, you’re here! Come, come see the baby. He’ll be calling you ‘Mom’ in the future too!” I burst out laughing. “I’ll have to decline that, thanks!” Zack seemed a bit dazed. He took a couple of steps forward with the baby, then stepped back and put the child down. “You came.” “Yes, I need you to cooperate with something.” “What is it?” I pointed at the uniformed staff behind me. “We need to do a paternity test for you and the child. Please cooperate.” Zack’s expression faded, and he looked at me with deep, dark eyes.
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