The day my wife gave birth to a child for her terminally ill first love, my in-laws stationed ten bodyguards outside the delivery room. Yet, even after the delivery was over, I didn’t show up to cause any trouble. My mother-in-law held my wife’s hand, sighing with relief. “Don’t worry, Ottilie. We’re here to make sure he doesn’t come anywhere near you.” “Your father even has people guarding the hospital entrance. If he dares to come and try to stop you from having this baby, we’ll call the police!” Ottilie nodded weakly, but she still instinctively glanced towards the elevator. Seeing it empty, she finally relaxed. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just be supportive of her helping her first love leave behind a legacy. Looking at the wailing newborn in the nurse’s arms, she smiled contentedly. She thought that if I came to visit her tomorrow, she would forgive all our previous arguments. She’d even be willing to let me be the child’s father. But what she didn’t know was that I had just submitted my application to join Doctors Without Borders. In seven days, I would give up my citizenship and become a stateless doctor, never to return.
The day Ottilie was discharged from the nursing home, I had just finished handing over my work at the hospital. As I reached the doorway, I heard laughter coming from inside. “This child is beautiful, with big eyes just like his father’s.” My mother-in-law was happily playing with the baby in her arms, while Kieran was bringing out a steaming bowl of chicken soup from the kitchen. “I made this soup myself. Your body is still weak, you need to eat well to recover,” he said, sitting by the bedside and tenderly feeding Ottilie. The atmosphere was that of a happy family. My father-in-law was holding a rattle, grinning from ear to ear. “This child is so adorable, just like his father. It’s a good thing he’s not Jude’s child. Having a doctor for a father would be such a burden.” My hand tightened on the doorknob. I remembered the first time I met my father-in-law. He had patted my shoulder, saying being a doctor was good, that saving lives brought honor to the whole family. He had told me he was once a doctor too, and if it weren’t for an injury caused by a violent patient, he wouldn’t have retired early. But now, he was saying doctors weren’t fit to have families. I had only been away for a year of advanced studies, and this family had already completely shut me out. I lowered my head, a bitter smile tugging at my lips. Ottilie and I had been married for three years. She had said she didn’t want children, and understanding the risks of childbirth, I didn’t pressure her. I still remember the day I left for my studies abroad. She had cried, saying she would miss me terribly. For the past year, we had called each other every day, sharing our lives. Even my colleagues would tease us, saying we still acted like newlyweds after three years of marriage. But just a month ago, when I finally managed to get some time off to come home, despite being exhausted from an eight-hour flight, I rushed back without complaint. Only to find Ottilie heavily pregnant, standing next to her first love. My thoughts were interrupted by Kieran’s words. “Jude, when did you get back? Why are you standing in the doorway?” Hearing him, the others in the room looked towards the entrance. When my father-in-law saw the resignation letter in my hand, his brow furrowed deeply. “How could I have entrusted my daughter to someone like you? What bad luck. Now you’re quitting your job, expecting us to support you?” “Is this how you act as a husband?” my mother-in-law chimed in accusingly. “You can’t even handle such a good job. What else can you do?” “Ottilie’s body is delicate now. She and the baby need money for everything. If you don’t work, are you expecting a family of three to live on air?” Hearing this, I could only laugh bitterly. “Whoever’s wife and child they are, it’s their responsibility to provide for them.” “Jude Wilson, what are you saying? How can you be so irresponsible?” Ottilie finally couldn’t hold back, shouting at me with reddened eyes. Seemingly overcome with emotion, she clutched her chest and began coughing violently. “If Kieran hadn’t saved me from that car accident three years ago, I might have died already. His parents are both gone, and now he’s been diagnosed with terminal cancer. In a short while, there might be no one left in the world to remember him.” “Why do you always have to be against him? Do you really think I’m that kind of dirty, immoral woman?” Kieran stroked her back soothingly, while turning to me with a pained expression. “Jude, please don’t say anymore. I know this is all my fault. I promise I won’t appear in your lives again after this. Please don’t let me affect your marriage.” I looked at the four people before me, who had clearly already formed a united front against me, and found it increasingly laughable. So this was what a real family looked like. Just then, Ottilie suddenly spoke up: “Jude Wilson, my patience has limits too. If you dare to target Kieran again without reason, don’t bother coming back to this house!” “If you still want to continue our life together, just keep quiet. At next week’s full-month celebration for the baby, I can announce in front of all our relatives and friends that you’re the child’s father.” Next week? I glanced at the baby, now asleep in the carrier. Next week, I would be embarking on my journey abroad. But before I left, I didn’t mind giving them an unforgettable surprise. I nodded, my expression unchanged. “Fine.”
After saying that, I turned and went back to the bedroom to pack my things, ignoring their reactions. Since I had decided to leave for good, I didn’t want to leave any trace of myself here. The sounds of laughter from the living room filtered through the door. I paused briefly as I was folding clothes. “Kieran, I want to give this child your surname. That way, even if he calls someone else ‘Dad’ in the future, he’ll always remember that you’re his true father.” Even without seeing it, I could imagine the loving expression on Ottilie’s face as she said this. And my heart, already riddled with wounds from her, ached once more. I suddenly thought back to last month when I had rushed home, carrying souvenirs I had specially bought for Ottilie from abroad. But at our doorstep, I saw Ottilie and Kieran returning from a walk, hand in hand. Unlike the look of horror on Ottilie’s face, Kieran had eyed me with confusion, asking if I had the wrong apartment. I said nothing, my gaze fixed on Ottilie’s swollen belly. After eleven months away, my wife was pregnant. There was no way I could deceive myself into thinking this child was mine. Until Ottilie hurriedly stepped in front of Kieran to introduce me. “This is my husband, Jude Wilson.” I had thought that hearing this, Kieran would show some restraint. But instead, he invited me into my own home like he was the man of the house. As we passed each other, he said in a voice only I could hear: “I heard you’re quite a bit older than me? I guess I should call you ‘brother’ then, considering your wife is carrying my child.” Hot blood rushed to my head, and I could no longer contain myself. I swung my fist, landing a solid punch on his face. I had completely lost control, the eleven months of longing for Ottilie during our separation transformed into pure rage. If I had had a knife in my hand at that moment, I might have killed them both. It wasn’t until the neighbors heard the commotion and called the police that we were all taken to the station. But because it was a domestic matter, the police couldn’t intervene much and just sent us home. As soon as we got back, my in-laws, who had rushed over after hearing the news, started berating me without even asking what had happened. They scolded me for causing such a scene as soon as I returned, making us the laughingstock of the neighborhood. They even berated me for wasting all those years of education, resorting to violence, and threatened that if anything serious had happened, they wouldn’t let me off easy. It turned out they had known all along about Ottilie and Kieran being together, and were even strongly supportive of it. In just a year’s time, Kieran had become their perfect son-in-law. Only I had been kept in the dark. There was a bitter taste in my mouth, and I felt utterly miserable. Ottilie tremblingly walked to my side, trying to take my hand and reason with me. “I never meant to betray you. Kieran is very ill, the doctors say he has at most six months to live. I couldn’t bear to see him leave without an heir.” “I had thought about discussing it with you before, but you were so far away, and I didn’t want to worry you and disrupt your studies. That’s why I planned to wait until you returned to tell you.” “If you’re willing, can we raise this child together?” Such a major life decision as having children, yet she spoke of it so casually. I put the last piece of clothing into my suitcase just as my mother-in-law pushed open the door and walked in. Seeing the suitcase at my feet, she wore an expression that seemed to say ‘at least you know your place’. “You haven’t been back for so long, so I let Kieran sleep in your room. Now the study has been turned into a nursery too. You’ll have to make do with the living room couch tonight, or maybe you should just go stay at a hotel?” I was truly exhausted and didn’t have the energy to go find a hotel. I nodded, prepared to make do on the sofa. But deep into the night, the baby’s cries kept coming from the bedroom. I turned over, about to put in earplugs, when I heard Ottilie’s complaining voice. “Can’t you do something about the baby? He just keeps crying.” “Aren’t you my baby? I just need to take care of you. A little crying is good for the baby’s lungs.” Ottilie giggled and said, “You’re terrible.” Followed by the sound of the bed creaking. I pulled the blanket over my head, trying hard to ignore those unbearable sounds. But when I closed my eyes, I seemed to see Ottilie as she was when she first confessed her love to me. Back then, she was pure and beautiful, her eyes full of nothing but me. But that Ottilie no longer belonged to me.
I dozed fitfully through the night and left at dawn with my suitcase. I went to the administration office to cancel my household registration and process the relevant paperwork for going abroad. Because I had government-approved documents, all the procedures were completed quickly, and the staff didn’t ask many questions. Just as I was leaving, the staff member suddenly called out to me and handed me a handful of fruit candies. “I hope all your wishes come true.” I smiled gratefully at her and then found a hotel nearby. After putting down my luggage, I was about to go out to find something to eat when I ran into Ottilie and Kieran with my in-laws. Kieran was wearing an expensive custom-made Armani suit, looking the picture of health, nothing like a dying man. “Jude, I thought I saw you from a distance, but Ottilie insisted you couldn’t possibly be in this area,” he said. His gaze fell on the recruitment flyer in my hand, and he smiled knowingly. “Oh, so you’re out looking for work? But with your frail build, isn’t working at a construction site just torturing yourself?” I said nothing. The flyer had been handed to me by a young girl on the street. Seeing her handing out flyers in the cold winter, I had just taken one to be polite. Seeing that I remained silent, only gripping the flyer tightly, Kieran smiled arrogantly. “You should have said earlier that you were job hunting. Maybe I could have helped. We’re all family now. If you’re doing well, Ottilie will have someone to rely on in her later years, and I can rest easy.” My silence at this point was as good as confirmation. Ottilie, who had been looking confused, now had a complete change of expression. She frowned deeply, her eyes full of contempt as she looked at me. “What’s there to recommend? He insisted on quitting his good job as a doctor. Now even if he starves on the street, he doesn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy.” “Jude Wilson, you really have no sense of responsibility. Do you think this will force me to give up the child?” I looked at her familiar face, but now it felt utterly foreign. I remembered when we first got married, there was a time when I considered quitting due to internal competition at the hospital and changing careers. Ottilie had just hugged me then, gently patting my back and whispering in my ear: “We’re in this together. Whatever decision you make, I’ll support you.” “Quitting isn’t a big deal. I believe a true gem will always shine. I’ll always be by your side, honey.” But the person who said she would always be by my side was now letting another man humiliate me. She had forgotten the words she once said to me, and it seemed she had also forgotten the deep love she once had for me. Even my in-laws were shaking their heads in disappointment. “I was truly blind before, actually thinking of entrusting my daughter’s future happiness to your hands!” “It’s a good thing we’re still around. Who knows how you’d mistreat our daughter if we weren’t here.” The more they spoke, the more exaggerated it became. Passersby were starting to cast curious glances our way. I slowly clenched my fists at my sides. Just as I was about to speak, Kieran suddenly stepped forward. “We were just about to go take a family portrait. Why don’t you join us, Jude? After all, I’ll be counting on you to take care of Ottilie and the child for the rest of their lives.” Ottilie immediately cut him off, scoffing coldly. “Look at how shabby he looks. He’d only lower the quality of our family photo.” With that, she turned and headed towards the photo studio, not forgetting to urge Kieran to hurry up and follow. “Well then, we’ll be going. Don’t let us keep you from your job hunting,” Kieran said, patting my shoulder meaningfully. Watching him walk away, I felt no ripples in my heart. To outsiders, what a harmonious family they must seem. If this was what Ottilie wanted, why should I not let go and give her my blessings?
Three days before my departure, I received a message from the hospital director. He said the specialist I had asked him to contact was coincidentally attending a forum in the country and could take a look at my father-in-law’s coronary heart disease. My father-in-law’s heart had never been very good, and he had been rushed to the hospital for emergency treatment years ago. So during my studies abroad, I had also asked colleagues to help me collect relevant case studies. No matter what, years of family ties still existed. After doing this, I would have no more debts to them. But when my father-in-law heard I wanted to take him to the hospital, his face immediately darkened. “Why go to the hospital when I’m perfectly fine? Are you trying to curse me? My previous heart bypass surgery was successful, what’s there to check?” “A top specialist in cardiology happens to be in the country today. You could go for a check-up, maybe for some preventive measures for the future…” Before I could finish, my father-in-law smashed his water glass at me. “You and your pretty words. Do you think a top specialist is someone an unemployed bum like you can just make an appointment with? All you do is brag! Look at Kieran, he stayed up all night to get me an appointment with a specialist. Where were you then?” He kept comparing me unfavorably to Kieran, his attitude making everything clear. So no matter what I did, it was wrong. No matter how I did it, I couldn’t compare to Kieran.
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