My childhood friend Richard Davis complained about the stress of grad school applications, sweet-talking me into being intimate with him. Afterward, he couldn’t get enough, pursuing me relentlessly for an entire year. Finding him too unromantic, I teased with a smile, “When chasing a girl, remember to bring flowers.” He kept kissing me, murmuring his agreement. Then came the day when Alicia Tate, the department beauty, confessed to him. Richard asked to meet me. “Help me pick out some flowers later. You girls usually have similar tastes. Whatever you choose, I’m sure Alicia will love it.” So, he did know that confessions should start with a bouquet. When Richard told me he’d accepted Alicia’s confession, it felt like all the air around me froze. When he mentioned Alicia, he couldn’t hide the smile spreading across his face. In all our years together, I’d never seen that expression on him before. I mumbled random responses, afraid that if I said too much, he’d notice something off in my voice. “Janet, are you about to cry?” He asked teasingly, raising his voice playfully. My hands trembled as I gripped the hem of my shirt. Richard knew me too well. He could pick up on my emotions from even the slightest change in expression. I couldn’t lie to him, but I still tried to put up a front. “I’m just tired from all the stress lately.” “Perfect timing then. Help me pick out some flowers. It’ll help you unwind.” When he said “unwind”, I couldn’t help but feel a pang in my heart. Richard always used this same excuse to coax me into bed. The excitement in his voice was unmistakable. “You’re both girls, and you picked it out. Alicia’s bound to love it.” Alicia was our department’s beauty queen, gorgeous and pursued by many admirers. But I never knew Richard had feelings for her, too. And where did that leave me… “Richard, what about me?” I asked, biting my lip. He fell silent for a few seconds, his face darkening. When he finally spoke, his expression was dead serious. “Janet, don’t tell me you’re taking this seriously. You’re just a childhood friend. Some things are just about mutual benefit, aren’t they?” His tone was calm, but each word cut like a knife. I’d taught him to give flowers when dating girls. In the past, he could never seem to remember. “You never need to teach those who truly want to learn,” as they say. He tucked my stray hair behind my ear with a mischievous smile. “You’ve lived in my home for so many years. Everyone sees you just like my little sister. Who could accept being with their sister? If I did that, what kind of person would that make me?” His words hit me like a bucket of ice water, leaving me frozen to the core. I stared at the ground, fighting back tears. “Finals are coming up. I need to get back to my practice problems.” With that, I rushed back to my dorm.
I thought Richard saw me as his girlfriend. We rode Ferris wheels together and watched sunsets. He took me to see the Northern Lights. He’d kiss me passionately just as the sun rose. He’d make all those romantic promises. Richard said I was like a sister to him. Yet every time we spent the night together, in those intimate moments, he’d call me his wife. Turns out, in Richard’s eyes, it was all just a game. From start to finish, I was the only one who fell deep. The phone ringing snapped me out of my thoughts. “Janet, have you been crying?” My aunt, Yvonne Watson, could hear something was wrong. I pulled myself back from the memories. My reflection showed tears streaking down my face, and I quickly wiped them away. “Just stressed lately and coming down with a cold.” She finally let out a sigh of relief. “Don’t forget to take your medicine, and if you’re really not feeling well, have Richard take you to the hospital.” I nodded along to everything she said. Mentioning Richard made Yvonne seem to remember something. “Oh right, Janet, have you told him about going abroad after your exams next month? He won’t try to stop you from leaving again, will he?” The year my parents passed away, Yvonne had planned to take me abroad, but Richard had grabbed my sleeve, begging me to stay. He said his house had many rooms, and I could live in any of them. His home would be my home, and he would be my family. Those words touched me deeply, and I turned down Yvonne’s offer. Now, thinking about my future, Yvonne has invited me again to develop my career overseas with her. I had planned to tell Richard about this today. I’d even written a whole page of explanation a week ago. I was planning to give it to him today. “Don’t worry, Aunt Yvonne, we’ve grown up now. We won’t be as stubborn as we were when we were kids.” “What about you, Janet? Will you miss him?” Whenever I chat with Yvonne, I somehow always end up mentioning Richard. How could she not understand the look of a young girl’s first love? After spending so many years abroad and with relatives keeping their distance from me, an orphan, this departure would likely be permanent. The thought that time heals all wounds brought me peace. “I’ve already contacted a renowned artist overseas to teach me. Besides studying, I just want to spend time by your side.”
While I was doing practice problems, my roommate Emily Walker suddenly exclaimed, “Janet, quick, look at this!” Before I could react, her phone screen was right in front of my eyes. In the video, Richard was down on one knee, holding flowers. “How could I let a girl make the first move? Alicia, will you be my girlfriend?” His nervous, bashful demeanor made everyone around him squeal with delight, calling him a true romantic. Yet just last night, he’d asked me out for dinner, pinned me against the hotel room door for a deep kiss, and promised to bring me flowers. Looking back now, those were just empty promises made in the afterglow of satisfaction. “Man, I really thought Richard was into you,” Emily said. She pulled her chair next to mine, looking disappointed. “He always invited you everywhere he went, got you gifts for holidays and birthdays. Now you’re telling me I shipped the wrong couple?” I forced a smile, fighting back tears that threatened to fall. I dug my fingernails into my palm. Maybe if it hurt enough physically, my heart wouldn’t ache so much. That evening at the cafeteria, I ran into the new couple holding hands. I instinctively lowered my head, wanting to get away from them as quickly as possible. “Janet, why are you in such a rush?” Richard grabbed my collar and pulled me back. “Why didn’t you respond to my message this afternoon? I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” He looked incredibly handsome today, not a hair out of place, his eyes lighting up when he looked at the girl beside him. “This is my girlfriend, Alicia. Say hello.” Over the years, I’d grown used to him introducing me to others as his non-blood-related sister, but this time I couldn’t bring myself to speak. When I didn’t respond, Richard suddenly reached out and pinched my cheek. “What are you spacing out for? Making your big brother lose face?” Our eyes met, and he saw the humiliated tears in mine. Richard’s hand froze, and his gaze turned uncertain. It reminded me of back then, when a classmate from the next class confessed to me, and I didn’t know how to respond. Richard had just returned from basketball practice and, seeing the scene came over and squeezed my cheek, his hand resting on my neck. What did he say back then? “What are you spacing out for, Janet? Need me to reject him for you?” The guy asked Richard what right he had to decide for me, what business was it of his. “What business?” he chuckled softly. “We live together. I’ve got plenty of pictures of Janet drooling in her sleep, want to see?” That night, after chasing the guy away, Richard used to study as an excuse to pin me down and kiss me all night. Playing with the necklace at my throat, he whispered a warning in my ear, “Janet, we grew up together. I won’t let you get distracted from me.”
“Come on, Richard, we’re all classmates here. No need to be so serious!” Alicia tugged at his sleeve. Richard finally relaxed, letting out a deep breath. “I got too worked up. It’s fine. It’ll get better once you two get to know each other.” I pressed my lips together, gripping my lunch box tighter. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll head back first.” In my heart, I thought, “Richard, there won’t be a next time.” Alicia’s voice came from behind me. “Hey, come do karaoke with us later! It’s Richard’s treat. You’re his sister. It wouldn’t look right if you didn’t come.” I thought Alicia had invited me because she wanted to get to know Richard better. But I’d been naive to think it was that simple. Richard was chatting with others while Alicia sat down next to me. She’d been overly friendly to me since the moment we entered the karaoke room. “Janet, I heard you and Richard grew up together. You two would make such a gorgeous couple. How come you never got together?” She had her arm linked through mine, making it impossible for me to dodge the question. “Richard only sees me as a sister. He’d never be with someone he thinks of that way.” I wanted to ease Alicia’s concerns. After all, they’d just started dating, and both lacked the security that comes with trust. But she pressed on with a provocative tone. “So what you’re saying is you’ve got unrequited feelings for my boyfriend?” “No, that’s not…” I opened my mouth but couldn’t find the words to defend myself. “Richard, that necklace looks really nice on you.” Richard was sitting next to Alicia, handing her a piece of fruit. “Oh, my parents gave it to me when I was little. Said it would keep me safe.” “Do you like it?” Alicia stopped him as he started to take it off, snuggling against him with exaggerated sweetness. “I just noticed Janet’s looks like a matching couple’s set with yours. But whatever, I guess she wears it every day because she likes you…” Richard looked at me, his eyes fixed on my neck. “Janet, give me your necklace.” Before I could react, he reached for it. “We’re all family here. Since Alicia likes it, consider it your welcome gift to her.” I instinctively backed away, dodging his reaching hand. He froze for a moment. Then anger flashed in his eyes. “Being disobedient, are we? Don’t forget, this belongs to our family. I have the right to take it back.” The chatter around us suddenly stopped as everyone turned to stare at me. “Richard, what are you saying? Don’t you remember? You got that necklace when Janet had a three-day high fever! You were crying, begging your parents to take you to get it for her.” The person who spoke up was a friend who’d grown up with us. Richard seemed to come to his senses suddenly and instinctively pulled his hand back. “I just thought since we’re all grown up now, we don’t need its protection to be okay anymore. Never mind… I was wrong. If you like it, keep it.” “No need. I’ll give it back to you right now.” I pulled off the safety necklace from my neck. “Now, I don’t owe you anything anymore.” He stared at the necklace in his hand, frozen in place.
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