After four years of marriage to Declan, he secretly bought a property. I thought it was a surprise for me. So, without telling him, I started an online home renovation blog. I offered free home makeover advice to my followers, hoping to apply my best skills to decorate our new home. But today, I received a message from a follower. The girl shyly mentioned that her fiancé had gifted her a house and she hoped I could help design it. However, I noticed a photo of a couple on the bedside table. The man in the photo was my husband. He was holding his First Love, whom he hadn’t seen in five years. I suddenly felt exhausted. After more than two thousand days and nights, I still couldn’t win Declan’s heart. So, I called upon the System hidden in my mind. “Hello, Host. Please confirm if you wish to leave this world?” When I received the Direct Message, I didn’t break down or feel the pain I had anticipated. Instead, I was surprisingly calm. I recalled Declan’s recent strange behavior, realizing that the signs had always been there. Four years ago, on Christmas, Genevieve’s family suddenly emigrated, and we lost contact. In a winter blizzard, I found Declan frozen stiff and brought him home to warm him up. That night, I ended an eight-year-long infatuation and slept with him. After marriage, Declan was the perfect husband. He meticulously planned surprises for our anniversaries, took me to important events, and even cooked for me when I mentioned wanting Braised Ribs, though he always ended up making Sweet and Sour Ribs, which made me laugh and cry. Two months ago, he mentioned a challenging project at work and said he’d be working late often. He started not coming home at night frequently. Thinking back, Genevieve must have returned around that time. That night, Declan got up in the middle of the night to get dressed, and in my sleepy state, I asked where he was going. He replied, “Going to the airport to pick up a client.” I squinted at him and teased, “What kind of client is worth Mr. Declan dressing up for in the middle of the night?” He stiffened slightly and gave me a perfunctory answer, then tucked me in, “It’s cold, don’t kick off the blanket, sleep well.” Declan, did you say that because you were worried I’d catch a cold, or because you didn’t want me to delay your meeting with her? Tears silently slid down my cheeks as the message in the chat box pierced my heart: “Thank you for your hard work, because my fiancé is quite picky, he needs to decide on some details.” “He’ll be here soon, so you don’t have to wait too long.” The moment I saw this message, I snapped back to reality. Declan was wearing a gray wool coat, his eyebrows furrowed like thick smoke, with a faint smile on his lips. He was heading towards the door. Was he going to see Genevieve? I hurriedly called out, “Declan, it’s so late, where are you going?”
Declan paused when he heard me, raised his wrist, and glanced at his expensive watch. His family background was excellent, and as a young vice president of the family business, his future was limitless. But I was his burden. I was just the daughter of a servant in the Declan family, but the moment I saw Declan, I fell hopelessly and shamelessly in love with him. In front of him, I was always like an ugly duckling, neither smart nor gentle enough. Every time I faced him, I instinctively lowered my voice and stance. I didn’t like it when Declan frowned. When he looked at the watch, his expression was slightly impatient, but his tone wasn’t accusatory: “There are some things at the company I need to handle, go to bed early.” I pressed my lips tightly, my fingernails digging into my palms. Just as Declan was about to step out the door, I called him again. “Declan, I… my stomach hurts a bit, can you stay with me?” His shoulders relaxed, and I almost thought I had won this first round. But the next second, Declan’s words chilled me to the bone: “Hazel, don’t make it difficult for me… you know the company is in some trouble recently…” He might have said more reasons afterward, but I couldn’t hear them anymore. I wiped my tears with a bitter smile. After the door closed, I sat alone in the darkening room until my phone buzzed again. “Influencer, my boyfriend came to see me. He made a few requests and hopes you can consider them.” My heart felt empty, as if a piercing cold wind was all that remained in my chest. Sticking to my professional spirit, I still replied, “Sure, though the construction period might be a bit long.” “No problem.” “[Image]” She suddenly sent a photo of some dishes. “Thank you for listening to my requests for so long. Here’s a small piece of happiness from my life as a token of appreciation.” “It’s Sweet and Sour Ribs made by my fiancé. It’s been four years since I last had them, and I didn’t expect his cooking skills to improve so much. I wonder how he practiced, haha.” Sweet and Sour Ribs… My pupils shook violently, memories flashed like a slideshow, and a suffocating feeling enveloped me. No wonder Declan only ever made this dish for me in the last four years, always mistaking it for the Braised Ribs I loved. It turns out Genevieve liked it. Were all his gentle gestures because he saw me as someone else’s shadow? Sweet memories surged like waves, now tinged with bitterness and pain. Everything told me that Declan never liked me. I could no longer suppress the overwhelming emotions and burst into tears. “I want to go home, I want to go home, System… please let me go home.” [Ding] System: “Host, I’m here. It’s been a long time, how are you?” “I’m sorry, Host, your physical body in the original world has already died, you can’t go back.” “Considering your progress with the target ‘Declan’ has reached 80%, I will apply for a benefit to change your identity, please wait patiently.”
“Christmas is coming soon, Hazel, don’t forget to buy gifts and decorate. Declan loved Christmas as a child, though not so much when he grew up.” My mother-in-law had just returned from shopping, wearing a mink coat, her high-heeled shoes clacking loudly. “Okay.” “Ah—” My mother-in-law sighed again and said, “No matter the holiday, it’s only lively with a child. You’ve never been pregnant all these years, so it’s no wonder Declan isn’t fond of them.” She had been urging me to have children since I married into the Declan family, but each time it pained my heart. I couldn’t help but retort, “Mom, you said you didn’t want me to disturb Declan’s rest, only allowing me to share a room with him twice a month. I want to conceive too… but having a child isn’t just up to me.” Hearing this, Mother-in-law’s eyebrows furrowed, her tone urgent: “It’s your fault for not being able to conceive, and now you’re blaming me? Declan will take over the company in the future. How can he progress if you keep clinging to him?” She shot me a sideways glance, “You can’t do anything right, but you’re good at talking back. It’s better if you can’t have children. A servant’s daughter can’t give birth to smart kids. I really don’t know why Declan agreed to marry you.” “Enough, say no more!” came a voice from upstairs, aged yet authoritative. “Grandmother, why are you coming down?” I quickly went to her, supporting her as she slowly descended the stairs, her eyes like daggers aimed at my mother-in-law. Mother-in-law looked slightly embarrassed. The old lady was Declan’s grandmother. Without her support, I would never have been able to marry into the Declan family. Honestly, I never understood why Grandmother liked me. All I knew was that if not for her, my days would have been much harder. “Don’t glare at me like that. I’m not wrong,” Mother-in-law said. “Disharmony among children is often due to the lack of virtue in the elderly. Declan and Hazel’s relationship is strained because of you,” Grandmother bluntly criticized. She then turned to me and said, “Hazel, don’t take it to heart. Accompany Grandmother to the hospital for a check-up tomorrow afternoon, and get yourself checked too, just as a precaution.” I nodded obediently, though I had made up my mind. No check-up. Declan’s heart isn’t with me. What’s the point of having a child? Does he really want a child with me? I returned to my room and threw myself into drawing design drafts and building models, immersing myself in work. Only this way could I briefly suppress the pain. H: “[Video], it’s decorated according to your design, and my heart feels like it’s in an ice cellar.” I immediately got nervous and quickly asked what was wrong. H, a person both familiar and unfamiliar, we’ve known each other for ten years, but only online. Ten years ago, at just 17, I got into a car accident and came to this strange world to be Declan’s pursuer. Back then, I was naive and thought everything was a game. So I eagerly confessed, and after failing, I was punished with an electric shock, landing me in the ICU. That’s when I met H. The hospital organized patients of the same age to write their contact information in little envelopes, and I added him. But we never met in real life. He had gastritis at the time and was discharged before me. Over the years, we’ve kept in touch sporadically. My girlish feelings that Declan never reciprocated were all absorbed by H. He knew I had unavoidable reasons to like someone and that I genuinely liked that person, to the point of losing my mind, knowing full well he didn’t love me back, yet still persisted. After marrying Declan, my contact with H became less frequent. Recently, however, he found out I became a Content Creator and was eager to be my guinea pig. We never met in person, and he was suffering from gastritis at the time, so he was discharged from the hospital before me. Over the years, we occasionally kept in touch, but my innocent feelings for Declan were never reciprocated; instead, they were absorbed by H. He understood that I felt compelled to like someone, and he knew I genuinely liked that person to the point of losing myself, even though I knew he didn’t love me back, yet I persisted. After marrying Declan, my contact with H became less frequent. Recently, when H found out I became a Content Creator, he was eager to be my first test subject. As my first client, H’s opinion was crucial, but now he seems horrified by my design. Is it really that bad… H: [Just kidding, sis, your design is my dream home.] I couldn’t help but smile, but I wasn’t really in the mood for joking around, so I just sent an emoji. However, H sensed something was wrong and asked, [Is something bothering you? Is it about him again?] [Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.] There was a long silence before a voice call came through. I panicked and almost hung up. For so many years, H was like a presence in my life rather than a real person. I didn’t know his appearance, his job, his family, or even his voice. In my mind, he was like a playful big brother who never got upset easily. When his gentle and clear voice came through the phone, I was taken aback by how wonderful it sounded. With a voice like that, if he could sing in tune, he could be a singer. “You don’t have to talk; I just want to sing you a song.” Could he really sing? I wondered if he could read my thoughts, so I simply hummed in response. His singing was even more impressive than his speaking voice. I bit my lip, feeling tears welling up: “Thank you…” This long-lost comfort. “Take care of yourself, we’ll talk another time. I’ll hang up now.” The call ended, and I found myself looking forward to our next conversation.
Declan hasn’t been home for two days. I thought about the list of items I made for Genevieve and chuckled bitterly, thinking he must be helping her with her renovations. It’s both sad and ironic that I’m indirectly decorating the home of the man I love with another woman. Even so, I still took Grandmother to the hospital. No matter how Declan treats me, I have to repay Grandmother’s kindness. Declan’s Family has some influence in the city, and the hospital assigned a professional team to assist. I was just there for support. Grandmother urged me, “Hazel, you should let the doctor check you.” She was being subtle, but I understood her meaning. She wanted me to find out why I couldn’t get pregnant. But there’s no need for a check-up; I know the reason all too well. After every time we were together, Declan would buy me birth control pills, saying that having a baby during his peak career would be a distraction, and he didn’t want me to suffer the pain of childbirth. I once thought this was an expression of his love, but now I realize he did it to redirect all conflicts toward me. Because of this, I frequently faced difficulties with my mother-in-law. To avoid disappointing Grandmother, I wandered around for a bit. Unexpectedly, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. Although we didn’t bump into each other, she was unsteady, her slender body almost falling. I instinctively reached out to help her. She was as delicate as a butterfly, with simple yet exquisite makeup. In stark contrast to my disheveled state. For a moment, I wanted to hide in the darkest corner of the world. But she recognized me and hesitantly said, “Hazel?” Genevieve looked slightly awkward. “What are you doing here?” I avoided her gaze, clutching my clothes tightly. I should have been the one asking her… Why is Genevieve in the obstetrics department? Could it be… My eyes drifted to her abdomen. Before I could probe further, a figure rushed over with a worried cry piercing my ears. “Genevieve, are you okay?” Declan’s tall figure pushed past me and embraced Genevieve. He didn’t care about me, inspecting her up and down. “You scared me. Be careful when you walk, or you’ll hurt the baby…” He said while glaring at me, the “passerby,” with impatience and blame. But the moment he saw my face, Declan fell silent.
The last time I saw Declan with that look was four years ago. That was also before Christmas. The streets were filled with the tune of Jingle Bells, and Declan coldly said to me, “Genevieve said you came to her in my name, asking her to stay away from me?” No matter how much I explained, Declan wouldn’t listen. To the extent that when Genevieve’s family moved abroad, he blamed me. “Hazel, you’re great, but compared to Genevieve, you’re nothing.” His decisive words echoed in my ears, and my eyes reddened. After a long silence, Declan said, “It’s exactly what you see; I don’t want to explain anything.” “Hazel, if you want a divorce, you can have it. Thank you for letting me be with Genevieve.” The pain was overwhelming, like being engulfed by endless darkness, each breath feeling like a thousand tiny needles. I never realized so clearly that Declan doesn’t love me. He didn’t want me to carry his child, yet he couldn’t wait to be with Genevieve. In just two months, she was pregnant. Thinking of how proud I was of my 80% strategy completion, it seemed laughable. As long as Genevieve is 100%, what does my 80% even mean? [It does mean something], the System’s voice suddenly echoed in my mind: [Host, please don’t be overly sad. I’ve secured a benefit for you. You can choose to let “Hazel” die physically and leave this identity.] [But don’t worry, your soul won’t perish. I’ll give you a suitable identity to be reborn.]
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