It’s a good thing my grandfather’s dead; he’d die if he saw me now. “Keep walking, mutt.” The prison guard shoves me from behind and I stumble forward into the sunlight. Outside the gates are two alphas. One was my love. One was my best friend. They’re both the reason I was left here to rot. __________ “Stop!” I tell the guard. “I don’t want to go out this way.” “Yeah, yeah.” He shoves me. “All you females get attached. I got no time for trash like you. Get a move on!” He shoves me again and I stumble to my knees. The snow bites through my clothes, chilling me to the bone. It’s been three years. Three years in this hell-hole, fending off daily assaults, and constrained to a cage with no warmth. They’d bound me in silver for so long I was severed from my wolf. I still mourn that loss. Our regeneration powers. The ferocity she gave me to fight. The freedom I felt in my true form, when I could run and be free…If I had my wolf, I’d attack this lowly guard. But without her, I’m just another weak human. The guard kicks me in the ribs. Not hard enough to break them; just enough to remind he holds the power here. “Move it,” he growls at me. I push to my feet and walk along the barbed-wire fence. Funny, I’ve dreamed of this day from the moment I was imprisoned. But now, seeing the two Alphas who wait for me, everything tells me to run back and hide. “Grace!” Jacob yells. I turn away from Alpha Jacob who leans against his Maybach, his dark hair styled and his clothes impeccable despite the snow and sleet. Jacob was my best friend. We grew up in the same pack. I’d known him all my life. He eventually became an alpha and an attorney. The same lawyer who prosecuted me. Then… there was Alpha Sean. I hate Sean even more—if that’s possible. His eyes are bright and focused on me, his expression cold. The wind musses his hair in the most perfect way. He’s tall, strong, and so handsome it hurts. Sean was my first and only love. My mate. Father of my baby… I swipe away my tears and keep walking. “Grace!” he calls, no doubt he’s furious that I’m ignoring him. But I keep walking. “Wait.” This time it’s Jacob. “Grace!” Sean calls again, putting the force of his Alpha strength behind the command. “Come here.” But his powers hold no influence on me now. Not since he severed our bond. I stick to the edge of the barbed-wire fence and avoid these Alphas. I have no phone. No money aside from a few odd bills. I’m broken and disfigured. A shell of the woman I’d once been. My grandfather… It’s a good thing he’s dead because he’d be gutted to see me now. Shame bubbles up inside me, flooding my body. Sean gets in his car, intent on intercepting me. I panic. I run, sneakers slipping on icy ground and arms flailing as I try not to faceplant on the concrete. A bus is rounding the corner. I run and block out the muffled curses behind me. I don’t stop or look over my shoulder. They’d ordered the inmates at this prison to ‘take good care of me’. The beatings I endured almost daily for these long years tell me that either of these men might personally finish what they’d started. As Alphas, they’d be within their rights. After the accident, I’d been rejected and named a rogue. If they wanted to, they could put a bounty on my head or strike me down for trespassing on their territory. But it’s not my fault I was imprisoned here! I wave for the driver to see me as I rush across the street. I need to get out of this town—away from these two packs! The driver takes pity on me and waits. I race the last few feet and grip the rail to haul myself inside. I fish into my pocket for what money I have and hand it over. The driver’s dark eyes rake over me with resigned sympathy. He’s an older man, with wrinkles on his forehead and the corners of his eyes. “That’s too much money,” he says quietly. But I’m shaking too hard to count it and I’m terrified at any moment that Sean or Jacob will grab me and drag me away. “It’s okay,” I say, shoving it into his hand and hurrying to the first vacant seat. The woman across from me sniffs and turns away, like the sight of me is repulsive. She tugs her scarf closer to her neck. I don’t have a coat—just the clothes they arrested me in, a t-shirt and jeans. My hair is shorter and cut unevenly. My bruises aren’t too bad this week. My lip is mostly healed and my eye has healed from deep purple to a dull, yellowish-green. The bus quickly lurches away from the curb. I breathe deep, but it doesn’t taste like freedom. Panic boils up swiftly. It’s okay. You’re okay. Today is a new day. But I’m not okay. Not even close. The last time I was in a moving vehicle, it ended in a horrific crash. One that set this whole horrible chain of events into motion. One that cost me my pack, my mate. My everything. The last time I was in a car, I lost my baby…
Three Months Later I never minded winter before. My wolf loved to run in the snow . But since losing Ava and the damage to my body, the cold makes my bones ache and the pain in my fingers almost unbearable. In prison, they ripped out my fingernails and broke my bones. The doctors reset my fingers, but with no actual surgery the damage to the nerves and joints was permanent. And without my wolf, I can’t regenerate. My fingers always throb now. There’s nothing to be done for it, so I try to think of other things, to keep my mind off the pain. I shove my tools back into my locker and zip my coat. There are only a handful of employees working at this hour and most of them flit around pretending to work. This sanitation center is in neutral territory, not controlled by any pack. The lowest of wolves from the four reigning packs in the area can still find work here. There are other rogues, humans that don’t realize what we are, and poor wolves that aren’t wanted elsewhere. It isn’t bad, I suppose. The work is hard and the hours are long. But it’s a legitimate job, and it pays the bills. “Did you hear? Sean Stevens got engaged to Lily Atkinson!” I stop dead in my tracks. It’s one of my coworkers, sitting behind the reception desk with her feet up and watching entertainment news. Sean Stevens. My Alpha… Sean, whose cold eyes still haunt me even after all these years. ‘So… he’s moving on and marrying Lily?’ Bile rises in my throat. It’s because of Lily that my life went to trash. She always wanted to be Luna, and hated me because I didn’t come from a wealthy family like she does. And also because… she wanted Sean for herself. Wolves are known to be ruthless, but Lily is more ruthless than most. I should know… She killed my grandfather. Lily’s smiling face on the tv screen mocks me. Her long hair is swept back. Her face glowing flawlessly. And she’s looking up at Sean like he’s the only man in the world. My stomach pitches when I think of all I’ve lost—all they’ve taken from me. I open the door outside into the cold night, my breath fogging up the air. I had been that girl. Gorgeous clothes. Fancy cars. A life of luxury. The envy of she-wolves throughout the region. Lily Atkinson was living my life. Now, I’m a no-name who cleans streets for a living. I shove my hands into my pockets and start the long walk home. The studio apartment I rent is three miles away. It’s still in the neutral zone within the city, so I’m lucky that I don’t have to commute from far. I’ve thought about moving far away and petitioning another pack for clemency. I could be a servant or maybe put my degrees to use somehow. But such a move would take money. And that’s if the new pack wanted to risk Sean’s wrath. Because I’ve discovered since getting out of prison that Sean had made it his personal mission to keep me in the gutter. Before the accident, I’d gone to school and graduated at the top of my class. I was an attorney! But my education and title meant nothing now, as a convicted felon. Even human companies had been warned against me. I’ll sweep the streets and pick up trash along the side of the road and save what money I can. Then, when I have enough, I’ll leave this place. Forever. I don’t mind the work. It’s honest. With my wolf gone, my senses aren’t as acute, so the stink doesn’t bother me much. And the night shift I work is quiet, so I don’t have to interact with anyone if I don’t want to. I tug my coat tighter and keep walking. The businesses in this area closed hours ago, making the streets eerily quiet. Headlights flash as a car speeds past me in the opposite direction. The engine slows. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder and watch the car pull a U-turn. There’s no cause for a car to be creeping along around here,especially not a luxury SUV like this one. A trickle of dread rolls down my spine. I keep walking, but every instinct I have tells me to run.
The SUV swerves in front, cutting me off. The doors open and four people get out. Three males. One female. “Told you it was her!” The man’s voice is deep and slurred. Clearly drunk. A few years ago, a situation like this wouldn’t have been more than an annoyance. But I’m not as strong or fast or capable of defending myself. And four against one are not good odds. I call to Ava, hoping maybe this time, I feel something. But there’s nothing… Unable to shift, I keep walking, stretching the distance between us. The second male, a twenty-something guy in a gray suit, blocks me. “It’s her alright. Sean’s ex.” “Where you going, sweetheart?” it’s the first male again. He’s on my right, but moving behind me. They’re boxing me in. “Surprised they let you out of prison.” The guy in the suit smiles. “Bet you were lonely in there.” He smells like whiskey and malice. I don’t need my wolf to see the dark desire in his eyes. The female is laughing. Her eyes sparkle with something malicious too. The male on my right side, I remember now. Chris Peterson, a businessman that Sean’s pack had dealings with. I met him at some business dinners. He’s sleazy and I never liked him. The four of them are wolves. Low-level, but still dangerous… Chris steps closer to me. He brushes my cheek, and I jerk away from his touch. “There’s gotta be better ways for you to make money, Grace. Come with me,” he says. “I’ll pay you for the night. Beats sweeping the streets.” The woman laughs again. “You were a lawyer, and now you’re…what? Janitor?!” I can take the humiliation. But what Chris is proposing… “Leave me alone.” I duck under the gray suit’s arm, but the third guy grabs me. “Maybe you didn’t hear my friend,” he says. He’s stocky, his fingers crushing my arms. I feel the bite of his grip through my coat. Chris grabs my hair and I’m dragged backwards. “Stop!” I scream. But there’s no one to hear me. The men snicker and turn back to the she-wolf. Two of them crowd her and then shove her into the back seat of the Range Rover. She’s laughing again, and I’m horrified at what’s happening. “Chris, you can’t—“ He slams my head into the building. My back’s against the wall. I can’t escape. He knocks my head back again and my vision dims. “S-stop!” His hand tightens around my throat and I claw at his wrist “L-Let me go…” Chris jerks at his belt and his eyes flash. I start kicking. He blocks me and then curses when I land my knee in his groin. “You b*tch!” He backhands me so hard my ears ring. I have no doubt this wolf can and will overpower me. But I can’t give up. “You wanna run, Grace?” His eyes light up again, his wolf close to the surface. There’s no contest. In his true form he’d run me down, and I wouldn’t survive. “N-No,” I whimper. “I’ll even give you a head start…” He draws back and I’m frozen with indecision. If I stay, he’ll hurt me. If I run, he’ll chase me down and hurt me more. “One…two…three…” he’s counting. I can’t just stand here. I shove off the wall and run as fast as I can. I cut down a deserted side street but he follows. Chris isn’t rushing at all. He’s toying with me. “Six…seven…” I run for all I’m worth, and at the count of ‘ten’ I hear the low growl. Not of a human. A wolf. I race for the nearest main street, thinking if I can get somewhere more populated, I’ll be able to escape. Chris can’t fully shift within city limits. But I never get the chance. His snarling form gains on me and in the next heartbeat, I’m slammed to the concrete. I roll and scrape across the ground. I try to get up but can’t. Chris pins me down. His eyes glow with his wolf. Running only excited his beast more. “You thought I forgot the way you insulted me, b*tch? You told Sean to stop working with me. It cost my family millions!” His teeth elongate. “But he isn’t here to protect you now.” Is he going to kill me? As a rogue, I won’t be missed. “Fight all you like, but I’m going to f*ck you like the b*tch you are, right here on the street.” I fight hard, shoving and scratching at his arms and face. But he’s so much stronger than I am. Ava! Please! Desperately, I call to my wolf. But there’s only silence. She’s retreated to some deep part of my soul or the long exposure to the silver has permanently severed my bond to her. Chris catches my wrists and slams my arms above my head. Then he fumbles with my clothes. “That’s right,” he mutters. “Fight me. Scream if you want. Nobody’s coming.” He tears my coat, my pants. “Please! Stop!” I scream, tears leaking from my eyes. His claws cut into the skin on my arm where he holds me. “Stop it! Get off me! Stop!!!” “I think you should listen to the lady.” A cold voice sounds behind me.
I cower and scramble away as a man grabs Christopher and throws him a dozen feet away. Chris growls. The newcomer tilts his head. Then he charges at Chris and they tumble to the ground. The man comes out on top. Then he rains punches on Chris that echo loudly in the air. Chris is wheezing, his face bleeding. The stranger doesn’t relent. He slams his fists over and over again. It’s brutally violent. Part of me revels in it—the justice—because I know if not for him, Chris would’ve assaulted me, and despite open violence in our true forms being forbidden, his wolf undoubtedly would have torn me apart if given the chance. A shuddering breath escapes me. The stranger’s head turns sharply as if he’s attuned to me. I see it then, the flash of gold. He’s a wolf.A strong one. In the next instant, he turns and resumes hitting the unconscious body beneath him. “S-Stop,” I whisper. “You’ll kill him.” “So?” the stranger growls. “It’s not worth violating pack laws for him.” It’s true. This man saved me. But Chris is a wolf of rank and status. If he died there’d be repercussions, and I don’t think they’d care that this man was defending me. They might even punish him more. Chris’s head thumps as he’s unceremoniously dropped to the ground. I wince. The male stalks over to me. I blink as I’m finally able to see the man clearly. He’s tall. Well over six feet. And handsome. Dark eyes and a strong jaw. Full lips and a strong body. His hair is longer on top and stylishly messy. My thoughts are interrupted as the SUV comes careening around the corner. I tense. This could be bad. But instead of fighting, they take in this stranger, standing with his hands shifted so his claws are ready to strike. They must see the same thing I do—this wolf is fearless. Rather than challenge him or attack me, they gather Chris and pull him into the SUV. He stirs and starts swearing. “You b*tch! I’ll kill you both!” The man who saved me bristles, stalking toward the car. “Don’t.” I catch his arm. “He isn’t worth it.” His dark eyes remind me of the depths of the forest I ran as a child. Woods so dark and dense that you could hardly see the Goddess’ moonlight from above. This man though… He looks deadly—like people’s lives mean nothing to him at all. Perhaps they don’t. Most wolves don’t think humans are equal. And within packs, fights for dominance are common. But… “It is not worth being imprisoned over someone like him.” The man doesn’t react, but I sense him relaxing. The she-wolf sticks her head out the car. “Holy sh*t! Is that Jason Reed!?” The other two men look back and forth between her and the stranger. “What, are you drunk?” one of them says. They climb into the front seats. The stocky one peers out the window, “Jason Reed, the richest man in the city? No f*cking way!” I blink, confused. Jason Reed is the Alpha. The wealthiest, most powerful werewolf to emerge in a century. He wouldn’t be in this part of the city, wearing rags and sporting bruised knuckles. He wouldn’t waste his time on humans. Or a rogue wolf. On me. This is no billionaire. His jacket is threadbare, and his face is haunted. This man—my savior—is in old clothes. He looks… as broken as I do. This man is big and strong, and he might have alpha tendencies. But he’s probably a rogue too. Why else would he even be here? I watch the car tear up the street. When the road is quiet again, I look back at the man. “Thank you… for saving me.” He grunts, but says nothing more. He walks to the edge of the road—the same spot where Chris pinned me, and sits down on the curb.His hands have morphed back, no claws or fur visible. This man appears in perfect control. But what if that should slip? What if Chris were to come back here, with more men? I don’t think this wolf would back down. And he’d either end up in jail, or worse… at the mercy of pack enforcers should his wolf break free. I walk over to him. “Um… Aren’t you going home now?” No response. I lower my voice. “You should go back to your pack. Or take a run to cool off, maybe. Do you want me to call your family?” He slowly raises his head, and what I see leaves me speechless. Death. Darkness so absolute that the only thing comparable is…death. I’ve seen the same darkness in my own eyes many times. When my grandfather died. When Ava was stripped from me. When I lost my baby. I swallow past the memories rising up to haunt me. ”If you have nowhere to go… you can stay with me.”
I’m not sure why I invited the strange wolf to my home. I’m obviously grateful. He saved me from what would’ve been rape or death or worse. But I usually don’t involve myself with other wolves these days. Since my release, I’ve stuck to myself. So why did I welcome him? Gratitude, sure. More likely… because I’m lonely. So lonely it’s hard to imagine what I’m living for. But in those brief seconds this stranger risked his life for mine…it was like someone saw something in me. Something worth saving. He glances at me sharply while I fumble with the lock. I open the door and hold it open for him to enter. They call it a ‘studio apartment,’ but it feels more like a box. A cramped space with just the essentials—a bed, table, kitchen and bathroom. I watch him carefully, his expression giving nothing away. I gesture to his still bloody hands. “If you want to wash up…” He wordlessly moves to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. Chris is a monster. The wolves that were with him…they’re no better. If I was still an attorney, I would’ve put them all in prison for their crimes or have them punished by pack law. But life had taught me that the innocent rarely prevailed. I repeat my mantra in my head. It’s okay. You’re okay. Today is a new day. The man steps out of the bathroom. His brows furrow as he looks at me. I can only imagine what he sees. My clothes are torn. I’m dirty and bruised. My hair’s a mess and I’m sure my face is too. The back of my hair is caked and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a gash from when Chris smashed my head into a wall. He sniffs deeply. “You’re not human.” It’s a statement, not a question. “No. But I’m not like you,” I tell him the truth. “My wolf is gone.” His eyes widen, the most emotion I’ve seen from him. His gaze travels over me, probably cataloging all my injuries. If I could shift, my body could heal instantly. But without my wolf… I am weak. Fragile. Human. “I’m fine,” I say. “I’ll heal.” Eventually… “Are you hungry?” I ask. “I don’t have much, but I have dry rice and pasta—“ “I’m not hungry.” “Let me get you a drink.” “I’m not thirsty.” I’ve been on my own for so long, I am not up to casual conversation. If I’m being honest, I don’t think he’s too good at that either. He crosses the small room until he’s directly in front of me. I lift my head, tilting it back, until I meet his eyes. I twist my hands together anxiously, and they ache. Just one more pain in my scarred body. But even that pales to the discomfort of not knowing what to say or do or how to act around this strong wolf. He touches my face and a soft sigh escapes me. He tilts my head, side to side. I feel awkward, and strangely lacking, beneath his gaze. “What’s your name?” he asks. “Grace… You?” He remains silent for a long time, then finally answers: “Jay.” “Jay,” I repeat his name. It’s a common one, could even be an initial or nickname, so I don’t think much about it. “Where do you live? What about your pack?” He scoffs. “I don’t have one.” That’s heartbreaking. He’s a good man. One who thought nothing of saving a total stranger. It didn’t seem fair that he was rogue or exiled. He’s watching me closely, his senses sharper than mine. I wonder what he’s learning about me. I squirm uncomfortably. I take a step backward, but he follows. This man… Jay… is powerful. He’s big and strong and he has alpha genes. A body and will made for war. I wonder briefly if he ever fought in the great pack wars, like my grandfather did This man has the body of a warrior and the face of a model. One of his dark brows arches up and I realize I’ve been staring… A lot. I blush, embarrassment staining my face and warming my ears. “You, uh, really should shift,” I stutter, latching onto the distraction. He isn’t injured. But the fight would’ve stirred his animal instincts. Better to let the wolf takeover than keep it caged up. “Why is that, Grace?” The way he says my name makes my breath hitch in my chest. He lifts my chin with his large hand, forcing me to look him in the eye. “What is it you’re hoping will happen…?” Then he bends down to me, his face inches away, his lips so, so close to mine. His hot breath sends shivers through my body. And I feel something stirring within me that I haven’t felt in years. Something like desire… It would only take one swift move to lean in, and…
I’m speechless. I think he’s talking about… no. I already told him I have no wolf. And we aren’t packmates—or any kind of mates!—so the normal way our beasts would connect and interact with one another… that won’t apply here. The thought saddens me. “I, uh, just thought you’d be more comfortable…” I’m blushing again. And I feel awkward. These are emotions I haven’t experienced in so long they feel foreign to me. Jay steps back a few feet. He rolls down his sleeves and undoes a few buttons. Then he peels his shirt over his head. His abs ripple. His chest is … dense with muscle. His skin is bronzed like he spends a lot of time in the sun. His pants hang low on his hips and he doesn’t wear a belt. When he undoes the top button and slides down the zipper, I clamp my eyes shut. He makes some sound. It isn’t a laugh, I don’t think. Or if it is, it is a very rusty one. I wish I could see his eyes. His body. To see that magical moment when space and time seem to glimmer and the body contorts, morphing into something else. I don’t move. I don’t think I breathe. It’s several seconds before something cold nudges my hand. I open my eyes and look down. It’s his snout. This wolf is huge. He’s dark, not quite black throughout, but with an undercoat of grey and brown that shows through when he moves. He sits on his haunches, his head near to my hand. And I can’t resist. I reach out and rub along his head and shoulders. He leans into my touch. His fur is so soft and I wish I had my own wolf. That Ava could rub against him, learning his personality and smell. Our beasts communicate so much better than we do. Everything is instinctual. None of the guessing or pretense or wondering at motives. Wolves are primal that way, and stronger because of it. I grab a heavy blanket and set it on the floor beside my bed. I move to set my pillow on the ground and he growls at me. All right. It’s not like I would’ve minded sleeping on the floor. The mattress at the prison wasn’t more than an inch thick. He nudges my hand then swings his head toward the bathroom. It’s obvious he wants me to go in. And, of course, I intend to. I’m sure I smell of sweat and Christopher, and I can’t wait to wash this night off of me. I cross the small room and he stays there near the bed, waiting. I grab my nightclothes and gasp when I enter the bathroom. I’m a mess. Blood on my face, a busted, swollen lip. Bruises on my throat and jaw. A moment later, he’s there. His wolf eyes assessing me, a low growl emanating. “I’m okay,” I whisper. “I, uh, didn’t realize what a mess I am.” There’s a cut on my arm and when I rub the back of my head my hand comes away red. Jay growls viciously. “It’s not deep. It’s just a scape. Head wounds always bleed a lot.” How sad is it, that I should know that so intimately? This wolf cocks his head like he thinks what I said is sad too. I turn on the shower and he swings back into the main room. I quietly close the door, strip and step under the water. I want it to be hot. But the plumbing in this building is old, so instead the shower alternates between lukewarm and cold. I’m shivering by the time I finish and my hands are cramping painfully. I towel dry the best I can and dress quickly. When I step out, Jay is in his human form again. “You look disappointed,” he says. I guess I sort of am. It’s been years since I’ve been connected to my wolf, and maybe seeing his satisfies some of the loneliness. Like I might be alone, but I’m still part of something. Our species lives on. Even if not through me. Not my baby. I cross the room and climb into bed. I’m sad and unsettled, but then Jay surprises me and sits down on the mattress beside me, and I suck in a breath as he leans over me. His hand lifts my face from side to side. I’m not sure what I expected. Or what I’m feeling. “I, uh, I’m fine. Just a few bruises.” He makes some sound. Then he’s bringing me forward so my head is against his bare chest. His hands are in my hair. As he bends my head more so he can see the back of it, my lips graze his skin. He freezes. “I didn’t mean to do that.” My breath fans against his skin as I speak and his muscles tense. Up this close, I can smell him. And it’s clean and strong. A scent that’s layered and not quite describable—at least not for my human senses—and I breathe him in. “You should see a doctor,” he tells me. With what money? I can barely afford my rent and enough food to eat. He moves off the bed and onto the floor. He stretches out his long body and crosses his ankles. The space he left feels cold and empty. It’s…odd. ”I usually sleep with the lights on,” I tell him. “I hope you don’t mind.” Ever since I was released from prison, I had gotten into the habit. “That’s fine.” It should feel weird having a man alone beside me where I sleep. But it doesn’t. If Jay wanted to hurt me, he wouldn’t have defended me on the street. I lay down on the bed, he stays positioned on the floor. The room is silent save for the soft hum of the heater. If I listen hard enough, I can hear him breathe. I stay motionless, waiting. After a few minutes, I roll over onto my elbow. “Jay, if you don’t have anywhere to go, you can also live here.” I’m not even sure he understood me, I say it so fast. But his head tilts as he sits up slowly. We’re so close I can see the flickers of brown and gold in his dark eyes. “If you don’t want to, just pretend I didn’t say anything,” I add. His mouth finally opens and he asks quietly, “Do you want me?”
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