I Could Hear His Love, But I Felt His Hate

It was the company’s annual gala, and Ethan poured red wine over my head. “Dressed like that, are you here for work or to pick up clients?” I froze, the wine dripping down my face. The inner thoughts of my colleagues buzzed in my mind— 【Ethan spent two hours at the upscale mall last night, just to pick out that dress for her.】 【He’s just jealous, afraid other guys will stare at her. He actually thinks she looks stunning.】 【He’s so stubborn, deeply in love but won’t say it. It’s driving me crazy.】 But then Ethan slapped me across the face. “What’s with that expression? If you don’t like it, get lost.” That slap shattered all my illusions. Later, I really did get lost. I deleted all his contacts. So how did he end up in the hospital, drunk? When the red wine poured down, my first reaction was to close my eyes. Ethan stood in front of me, his wine glass empty. “Lily, I’m talking to you.” His voice was low, but icy. Hundreds of people were at the gala, and no one dared to make a sound. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. The wine stung, making my eyes red and painful. The voices in my head started again. 【Ethan walked around Nordstrom twice last night, just to pick out that dress for you. Of course he’s mad you didn’t wear it, but he loves you!】 That was Mark, Ethan’s assistant. 【Lily, just calm him down! Ethan totally loves you—!】Chloe from Marketing. 【They’re perfect together, isn’t that how it always goes in novels? The heroine just endures a little and gets her happy ending.】Mia from reception. I had listened to these voices for three years, and believed them for three years. Ethan slammed his glass on the table. “Are you mute?” I looked up at him. “Nothing to say.” He narrowed his eyes, not used to me talking back. “You dressed like that, isn’t it just for show?” His voice rose. “I sent a dress to your desk, and you didn’t wear it. You had to wear your own. Are you intentionally trying to defy me?” “I didn’t like it.” It was a white backless dress with a neckline plunging to the chest. I didn’t like it. He wouldn’t ask me why. He’d just think I was challenging him. He raised his hand, and smack. My left cheek burned with pain. The air froze. 【Holy crap… he actually hit her?】 【He’s probably shocked himself. His hand is shaking.】 I looked up. Ethan’s face paled for a second, then he sneered. “You brought this on yourself. If you don’t like it, get lost.” He turned and left. The door closed. I stood there, my mind blank. All my colleagues were staring at me. No one dared to speak. But they were so loud. 【Even though it landed on the heroine’s face, Ethan’s heart is aching. You should see how scared he looks.】 【Lily, do something! Go after Ethan, tell him you’re sorry, and he’ll soften up!】 I ignored everyone, took off my heels, and stepped into the elevator. I leaned against the wall, looking at my disheveled reflection in the mirror. Lily, it’s been three years. What are you still holding on to? After a moment of thought, I pulled out my phone, opened my contacts, and found “Ethan Miller.” My finger hovered over the delete button. Three seconds later, I pressed it. “Confirm delete.” The elevator reached the first floor. I walked out and pushed open the building’s glass doors. It was an early March rain. My stockings were soaked, making my toes numb with cold. My heart slowly turned cold too.

That night, I checked into a hotel room. The next morning, I started looking for a new place to live. I couldn’t stay in my old rental anymore; he had found it for me. My resignation process was quick. I had minored in psychology in college and later got my counseling license. I originally joined Ethan’s company in an administrative role because he said, “I just need you close by.” I submitted a few resumes on job sites and received an interview invitation from a place called “Harbor Wellness Clinic.” At the same time, I rented a new apartment on the east side of the city, signing a one-year lease. I still had some things left in the old apartment. Three days later, I went to my old place. Pushing open the hallway door, I saw someone standing by the stairs. It was Ethan. He wore a black hoodie, his hair messy, and he was holding a paper bag. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent, as if he hadn’t slept for days. He froze when he saw me, then hurried over. “Where the hell have you been?” I leaned against the door, unmoving. What he thought and what he said were completely different. 【I’ve been waiting here for three days… You didn’t answer my calls, didn’t reply to my messages… What do you want… I was really worried about you…】 “You’ve been waiting here for three days?” I asked. “Mind your business,” he snapped. “Excuse me, I need to go in and get my things,” I said. “You moved out?” “Yeah.” His face paled for a moment, and his inner thoughts exploded: 【She moved out… When did that happen… How did I not know…】 “Lily.” His voice softened. “I was drunk that day.” Always the same excuse. “Here.” He handed me the paper bag. I didn’t take it, so he shoved it into my hand. Inside the bag was a small box. It held a thin silver bracelet with a tiny star charm. But the craftsmanship was crude. “It’s a cheap trinket, only thirty bucks,” Ethan said, stuffing his hands into his pockets and turning his head away from me. “Just your style.” His inner thoughts: 【I went to seven stores all over the city to find this star design. You said you liked stars last time. Please take it… Don’t refuse me…】 “I don’t want it.” I put the box back in the paper bag and handed it back. Ethan’s face stiffened. “What do you mean?” “I don’t want your stuff.” “Lily!” His voice rose. “I personally brought it to you. What more do you want?” 【Would it kill you to say something nice? Don’t look at me like that…】 I looked at him. “Ethan, we’re done.” He stared at me for five seconds, then scoffed. “Fine.” He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. It was from Sophia’s Ins feed. Sophia, the daughter of a long-time family friend, was staying at his place. In the picture, she was holding a Hermès bag, with the caption, “Ethan got this for me, I love it so much!” “Look at her,” Ethan said. “I buy Sophia a bag, and she says thank you. I run all over town for you to buy a bracelet, and you say you don’t want it. Lily, are you sick in the head?” I smiled. “Yes, I am. So don’t come looking for me anymore.” I turned to open the door. “Lily!” The door closed. I leaned against the door. He’d shoved the paper bag onto the doorknob, and he hadn’t taken it with him. After gathering the last few items, I locked the door and went downstairs. The paper bag lay on the ground. I didn’t even glance at it. I left the keys with the landlord and didn’t look back.

On Monday, I reported to Harbor Wellness Clinic. Daniel arranged for me to greet clients, organize files, and help out at the community outreach counseling center every Wednesday afternoon. “It’s a busy, sometimes chaotic environment there. Will you be okay?” He handed me a glass of warm water. “I’ll be fine.” “Call me anytime if you can’t handle a situation. Conveniently, I have a lecture in the next classroom on Wednesday afternoon, so we can leave together afterward.” I nodded. Wednesday afternoon, I went to the community activity center on the east side of the city. The counseling center was set up in a large classroom with four tables. I arrived early and took the innermost one. At four in the afternoon, the door opened. Ethan and Sophia walked in. My pen paused. Ethan saw me too. His steps faltered for half a second, and he frowned. Sophia was arm-in-arm with him, wearing a floral dress. She looked surprised to see me. “Lily? What are you doing here?” “I work here.” “You quit?” Ethan asked, his tone stiff. “Yes.” “You’re working as a therapist?” He scanned the classroom. “Does your family really need you to make such a small amount of money?” I looked at him. “What I do is none of your business.” “None of my business?” Ethan took a step forward, lowering his voice. “Lily, who hired you to the company in the first place? Now you’re out here embarrassing yourself. You’re dragging my family’s name through the mud.” 【I was clearly heartbroken to see you working here… Why don’t you understand…】 I heard his inner thoughts. Sophia released Ethan’s arm and pulled a small box from her bag. “Lily, this is for you.” Sophia opened the box, revealing a star bracelet—the one Ethan had given me that I hadn’t taken. He’d picked it up again for some reason. “Ethan said he bought this for me, but I know he spent a long time finding it, and it was originally meant for you. I’m returning it.” She extended the bracelet to me, but I didn’t move. Sophia’s hand froze in mid-air, a flicker of awkwardness on her face. She bit her lip and extended it another inch. I took a step back. Just then, her fingers loosened— The bracelet slipped from her palm and hit the floor. Clink. The star charm cracked, the chain broke, and tiny loose diamonds scattered everywhere. Sophia gasped, her eyes instantly welling up. “Lily… I just wanted to return your stuff… You could have just said you didn’t want it. Why did you push my hand…” I didn’t even bother to explain. Ethan rushed over, looked down at the broken bracelet on the floor, then looked up at me. “Lily, what are you doing? She was kind enough to return your things, and you treat her like this?” His inner thoughts: 【How did she become like this… Does she really hate me so much that she’d smash the bracelet…?】 Sophia knelt to pick up the pieces, tears splashing onto the floor. Ethan bent down to help her. After picking them up, he stood, clutching the few fragments, his knuckles white. “Lily, you’ve gone too far.” He looked at me. “Apologize to her.” “I didn’t do anything. Why should I apologize?” “Are you still going to deny it?” His voice suddenly rose. “Apologize!” “I won’t apologize.” A crowd had gathered around us. Seeing I wouldn’t budge, Ethan walked up to me and violently flipped over the table. Crash! Files scattered everywhere. “I told you to apologize, didn’t you hear me?” I knelt to pick up the files. He grabbed my wrist, his grip so strong my bones creaked. “Lily, if you keep being so unreasonable, do you believe I’ll…” He paused. I looked up, meeting his eyes. “Believe you’ll what?” “Believe I’ll leave you.” His inner thoughts suddenly exploded at that moment: 【I didn’t mean it like that… I didn’t want to say that… Don’t go…】 I looked at him and suddenly laughed. “Ethan, do you think I can’t live without you? Well, I’m telling you now: I’m the one who doesn’t want you anymore.”

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