I once took a private job pretending to date someone online on another person’s behalf. My employer was a spoiled rich girl. She said the guy was an iceberg no amount of warmth could melt. “If he replies to you even once, I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars. Deal?” During the darkest, most suffocating period of my life, I held a spare phone and chatted about everything under the sun with a stranger I had never met. Until one day, the girl rushed over and hugged me excitedly. “Oh my God! You’re amazing! Bobby actually agreed to be my boyfriend!” In that instant, it felt as if all the air had been sucked from my lungs. Oh. What a coincidence. So it was Bobby. The boy I had secretly loved for ten whole years, yet had never dared to say even “hello” to. 1 The stack of cash in my hand suddenly became unbearably hot, burning my palm until it hurt. I stood there in a daze for a long time. So it was him. But when I thought about it, it made sense. Other than him, who else would be worth Lisa offering such an absurdly high price? “Ruby, I didn’t mean to hide it from you.” Lisa was wearing a pink Miu Miu slip dress, her smooth blond hair falling over her shoulders. She clasped her hands together and looked at me apologetically. “But I hired several so-called dating experts before, and he ignored all of them…” She let out a long breath. “Thank God you helped. If Bobby really got snatched up by some girl from another circle, I’d absolutely lose my mind.” I nodded numbly. Right. If I had known the person on the other side of the screen was Bobby, I would have refused without the slightest hesitation. First, because there were far too many girls trying to get close to him. Second, because I liked him far too much. So much that whenever our eyes met, I would flee in panic. Bobby was impossibly striking. Pale skin, a sharp jawline, grades that kept him firmly at the top of the year, and a family background so deep no one could see the bottom of it. In freshman year, he had already secured a spot at Oxford’s geek summer camp. His whole being carried a cold, distant air that kept strangers away. He was untouchable, like a cold moon suspended in the night sky. But who could have imagined? The person who listened to me whisper voice messages complaining about our awful calculus teacher, who helped me agonize over whether to have pizza or a burrito for dinner, who even laughed “haha” at the ridiculous memes I sent him every day on the other side of the screen… Was also him. 2 When Lisa transferred the money to me on her phone, the girls around her were sizing me up with critical eyes. Their gazes carried undisguised disappointment. “Oh, so it’s her. She looks way too ordinary.” “Lisa, are you sure someone like Bobby, that unreachable flower on a mountaintop, was chatting with her every day for three months?” Lisa shook her head and smiled sweetly at me. “Give me your phone.” My palm was covered in cold sweat, sticky and damp. At this point, what else could I say? Lisa took the spare phone, opened the chat, and casually scrolled up and down. “You didn’t talk about anything special.” She frowned slightly, troubled. “So how exactly did Bobby fall for me?” A girl beside her burst out laughing and nudged her with an elbow. “Please, Lisa. You’re the school beauty of Westwood High, okay? Last time in the art building, I personally saw him leaning by the window drawing you. Thirteen pages of sketches. Be a little more confident in that face of yours, would you?” California sunlight filtered through the leaves and fell across Lisa’s face, making her cheeks look rosy and vivid. Not far away, a few boys playing basketball had already started whistling at her. My heart clenched. I suddenly remembered a joke Bobby once made in our chat. [You’re so pretty. Are you really afraid no one will chase you?] Oh. So he had probably liked Lisa for a long time already. Then I truly had nothing to feel unwilling about. Even if I had approached him using my real identity, he might not have spared me a second glance. People are always drawn toward light and beauty. Even I was no exception. Who could be blamed for that? I handed Lisa every detail I had learned about Bobby over the past three months without holding anything back. He liked sour cherry gelato. He liked playing chess online. He had an uncle who was a professional race-car driver. We started talking because of a litter of stray cats behind the gym, and later became closer because of AP Calculus competition problems. And today, this online dating game officially came to an end. In total, there had been fifty-six meaningful exchanges. That was everything between him and me over these three months. Lisa carefully recorded those details in her notes app and nodded at me. “Thanks, Ruby. Five hundred and sixty thousand dollars. You made a fortune.” They walked away laughing and chatting. Only after a long time did I hear my own dry voice drifting into the air. “You’re welcome.” I clenched the heavy black card tightly in my palm, its edge digging painfully into my bones. This meant I no longer had to face the desperate choice of dropping out and waiting tables. My family’s mess of debt was finally cleared. But so what? I had taken someone else’s money and personally helped someone else win the boy I had loved in secret for ten years. 3 The whole thing shattered me. For an entire evening study session, I stared at my test paper and couldn’t write a single word. It wasn’t until I returned after school to that cramped rental apartment that I suddenly realized— Bobby’s obsidian bracelet was still in the pocket of my jacket. I had picked it up in the hallway yesterday after class. Bobby’s classroom was right next to mine, less than ten meters away in a straight line. He hadn’t been in the room then, and I could have simply slipped the bracelet into his desk. But just as I was about to reach his desk, I turned around as if possessed. At that moment, a secret little joy had even risen in my heart. I knew Bobby’s private alternate account. He had given it to me himself before, to send over some competition materials. That string of numbers was already engraved in my memory. Just last night, I had been so excited by that tiny point of connection that I couldn’t sleep at all. I hid under the blanket, holding my phone, the glow of the screen lighting up my burning face. I spent hours writing, deleting, and rewriting drafts. When should I message him? What tone should I use? Would just saying, “Hi, your bracelet is with me,” sound too stiff? When he replied, would he say thank you to me? I hesitated for ages, unable to press send on the message I had written. But now, everything had become one giant joke. I buried myself in my pillow and broke down crying. After I cried until my throat went hoarse, I started laughing at myself for being a complete fool. Bobby’s “thank you” was something I had heard before. On that online dating account full of lies, he had once sent voice messages, his low, sexy voice carrying a smile, gently saying “thank you” to me thirty-six times. Unfortunately. He thought all that tenderness had been given to a beautiful, dazzling school beauty. And only today did I finally see reality clearly. 4 Early the next morning, while there were still few people in the hallway, I took the obsidian bracelet to the neighboring class. But my luck was truly terrible. I ran straight into Bobby. He had arrived unusually early today, wearing a plain black distressed T-shirt. His cold white skin looked especially striking in the morning light. He was leaning lazily against the back doorframe. When he saw me standing beside his desk, Bobby frowned slightly. “Something wrong?” This was the first time he and I had faced each other directly in real life. The opening line I had rehearsed countless times in my heart collapsed the instant it touched his indifferent gaze. After several seconds, I finally managed to find my voice. “I found your bracelet. I’m just returning it.” The boys gathered around him immediately started making noise, their tones teasing. “Yo, that bracelet isn’t cheap. Bobby was looking for it all day.” “Girl, you two are so fated. Bobby, aren’t you going to add her on Snapchat and thank her properly?” Their voices were loud, and soon plenty of students in the hallway were peeking over to watch the show. For years, I had been used to grinding through calculus problems that made people lose hair, but I had no idea how to handle boys teasing me like this. Worse, facing Bobby made me instinctively feel guilty. But in the next second, amid everyone’s jeering, Bobby calmly looked away. “That’s not mine.” The air went quiet at once. At that moment, a boy with light chestnut hair squeezed out from the crowd. He looked at me, frozen in place, scratched his head, and helped smooth things over apologetically. “Hey, thanks. You probably got the wrong desk. I lost this yesterday. Let me add you and send you a reward.” I lowered my eyes and stared hard at my washed-out canvas shoes. After a long time, I nodded lightly. “Okay.” That boy added my Venmo and swiftly sent me three hundred dollars. The farce ended there. Bobby turned sideways and looked out at the sports field. From beginning to end, he never looked at me again. But I knew better than anyone. That was his bracelet. He was lying. 5 I tried desperately to control my emotions and pretend nothing had happened. I had secretly loved him for so long. I understood too well how his circle judged people. I didn’t want to be labeled as a scheming girl. I didn’t want others to think I had deliberately stolen his thing just to create an opportunity to talk to him. My deskmate stood up for me beside me. “Ruby, if we’d known, you shouldn’t have gone to return it. I was so excited for you just now, and in the end that young master couldn’t even be bothered to acknowledge you.” A girl in the front row turned around and lightly laughed. “Please, that’s Bobby. His head is probably full of Ivy League early admissions right now. Where would he find the time to bother with nobodies like us?” True. I was distracted when the spare phone in my pocket suddenly vibrated. It was a one-second voice message. When I tapped it open, a man’s low, helpless voice exploded beside my ear. [Babe, are you still mad at me?] It was Bobby. Only then did I remember. Lisa had left in such a hurry yesterday that she hadn’t taken away the phone used specifically for the online relationship. Immediately after, he sent two more messages to explain. [I don’t know those people from earlier.] [If you don’t like it, I promise I won’t say half a word to any other girl at school from now on. Okay?] There was a trace of helplessness in his tone, but even more than that, there was unreserved indulgence. I froze in place, feeling as if my heart had been gripped tightly by an invisible hand. I took a deep breath and messaged Lisa, asking how I should reply. She was probably practicing ballet in the dance studio. It took her a while to type back, her tone carrying a bit of pride and teasing. “Aww, isn’t chatting with him what you’re best at? Just tell him that if he brings me one of those viral handmade croissants tomorrow morning, I’ll forgive him!” I replied, “Okay.” After pausing, I couldn’t help reminding her, “You should take this phone back as soon as possible.” I didn’t know whether she took it to heart. But the second I sent the croissant request, Bobby replied instantly. It was a silly cute sticker of a puppy saluting. [Yes, ma’am!] [How about adding a vanilla latte too? I’ll brew it myself.] Powerless, I lay across my desk, my cheek pressed against the cool surface. My gaze drifted out the window unintentionally, and I happened to see Bobby at the end of the corridor, head lowered as he sent a voice message on his phone. The California breeze brushed through the loose strands of hair on his forehead. In his usually cold, sharp eyes, there was now a tender smile so full he didn’t even seem to notice it himself. Only belatedly did I understand. No wonder he denied the bracelet in front of everyone that morning. He refused to claim it. He didn’t want to have anything to do with me in public… It turned out it was because he had made Lisa a promise. 6 At Westwood High, gossip about Bobby always spread faster than a virus. Within days, the explosive news that Bobby and Lisa were dating was known throughout the entire school. Quite a few girls gossiped sourly in the restroom. “Oh my God, I’m so curious what Bobby is like when he’s in love.” At the time, Lisa was touching up her makeup at the sink, and I was standing beside her washing my hands. She pressed her bright red lips together in front of the mirror and said with feigned distress, “Him? He’s just your standard iceberg. He’s never proactive, and sometimes his EQ is ridiculously low. He’s always making me angry.” No. I silently refuted her in my heart. Every time he made you angry, he would apologize humbly from the other side of the screen. Those restrained yet burning words of love, he would send to you again and again late at night, tender and lingering. The spare phone that belonged to the two of them had been lying lifelessly in the depths of my drawer. Lisa seemed to have completely forgotten it. Or rather, she was enjoying those high-profile, sweet dates with Bobby in real life every day, and no longer cared about this former virtual connection at all. Until one day, my deskmate excitedly tugged on my sleeve and told me she had personally seen Bobby and Lisa secretly kissing under the gym bleachers. From that day onward, I never replied to any messages on Lisa’s behalf again. Most of the time, I turned the phone off and threw it into the deepest part of my drawer. I forced myself to become even busier. Practice problems, calculus competition preparation, part-time shifts at a cafe downtown. That five hundred thousand dollars had indeed pulled me out of the mire of debt, but the road of life still had to be walked by me, step by step. Sometimes fate is strange. Instead, I gradually became familiar with the boy who had added my Venmo: Nolan. We often ran into each other in the library and hallways, occasionally stopping to chat for a few minutes. Only after we had gotten close did he confess to me over coffee one day. “Ruby, I’m really sorry about that thing before. That day, Bobby used me as a shield. I didn’t mean to make you unable to step down in front of everyone. The three hundred dollars was also transferred to me by him, for me to transfer to you. Just accept it. Treat it as hush money.” I shook my head and said it wasn’t necessary. He leaned back against the bench, tilted his head, and looked at me with a smile, his peach-blossom eyes sparkling. “Seriously, my family is strict. You’re the first girl I’ve added on my phone.” 7 Nolan had an easygoing personality. Bit by bit, he pulled me into that circle that had once seemed unreachable. He and Bobby were both rich second-generation kids whose families spent heavily on private tutors. There were certain secret prediction papers for AP exams that couldn’t be bought anywhere on the market. But every day, Nolan would casually slip me a photocopied set. Sometimes when he was too busy and forgot, he would ask Bobby to bring them to me on the way. After enough back and forth, when Bobby and I met again, we could just barely nod at each other as a greeting. Whenever Nolan went to other schools for debate tournaments, he would bring me onto the team too. Thanks to him, my resume looked much better, and I even received two sizable scholarships. One time, when I was looking everywhere for a weekend part-time job, Bobby unexpectedly took the initiative to speak. “I have a cousin in sixth grade who’s looking for a math tutor. The hourly pay is high. Do you want to try?” The pay he offered was indeed absurdly high, enough for me to quit my other three exhausting part-time jobs. The fingers holding my pen stiffened slightly, but in the end, I said softly, “Sure.” As I packed my bag and turned to leave, Nolan was leaning against the hallway lockers, nudging Bobby with his elbow and teasing him. “Hey, why did you take my phone just now? Didn’t you already know Ruby’s social account?” Bobby’s voice paused for half a second, his tone still mild. “Nothing. I just thought… that sticker she posted in the group earlier looked familiar.” Hearing that, I didn’t dare keep listening. I quickened my pace and fled the hallway, my heartbeat so fast it felt like it was about to burst from my chest. But Bobby never became suspicious in the end. His preference for Lisa was obvious to the entire school, almost to an outrageous degree. Last week, for Lisa’s birthday, Bobby directly had someone bring back a six-figure diamond necklace from a Paris auction. At the very bottom of the velvet gift box, there also lay a shell shimmering with iridescent color. Lisa could tell at one glance that the necklace was priceless. As for the shell, she muttered in disgust, “What kind of junk is this?” and tossed it into the trash. “I never said I liked worthless stuff like this,” she complained to her friends. She indeed had never said that. But I had. On that spare phone, I had once told Bobby that when my father passed away, the only thing he left me was an iridescent shell. But when I moved, I accidentally lost it. I said I had read in a book that this rare pearl shell could only be found on certain specific coasts. But I never imagined Bobby would remember that offhand remark, or even specially search one out for her. After school that day, I searched alone through the classroom trash can for a very, very long time before finally finding the discarded shell. I wiped it clean carefully and said, very softly in my heart: “Thank you.” 8 In early April, California was hit by an extremely rare rainstorm. The low-lying areas of the school were deeply flooded. I suddenly thought of the litter of newborn stray kittens behind the gym and hurriedly took out my phone to message Lisa. “Are you free right now? The back door of the gym is flooding.” Bobby had been feeding that litter for a long time, and he happened to be out in the city for a competition today. If anything happened to the cats, he would definitely be devastated. Lisa was at a nail salon with her friends, getting sparkly pink French tips done. She quickly replied with a voice message. “I hate cats the most. They shed everywhere, and if they scratch me I’d have to get a rabies shot. Ruby, just help me out and deal with it, okay?” I didn’t have time to think. I pulled on a raincoat and rushed into the downpour. The kittens were frightened by the thunder and darted around wildly. The muddy water on the ground was slippery. I fell hard three or four times, my knees throbbing from the impact, before finally protecting all those wet little things in my arms. When I looked up— I unexpectedly crashed into Bobby’s deep eyes. He was holding a black umbrella, his brows tightly furrowed as he looked at my disheveled state. Just as my mind went blank and I had no idea how to explain why I was there, Lisa suddenly ran over from behind me, panting. She took the kittens from my arms in one swift motion. “Ruby, why did you come too?” she said with a worried expression. “Aren’t you severely allergic to cat fur? Leave this to me. Thanks for helping.” Bobby’s tightly furrowed brows instantly relaxed. He tilted the umbrella handle toward Lisa, leaving most of his own body in the rain, then walked over and held both her and the kittens tightly in his arms. “Thank you, Lisa.” He lowered his head and kissed her hair. “I really didn’t expect you to come personally.” I stood in the heavy rain, like a complete outsider. In the end, I turned and left without saying a word. Back in the classroom, Nolan saw me drenched and my knee still bleeding. His face immediately darkened. “Where did you go to end up like this?” I shook my head, my voice a little weak. “It’s nothing. I’m a little cold. I want to lie down and sleep for a while.” Without a word, he bent down and pulled me onto his back. “Sleep later. I’ll take you to the infirmary first.” The school nurse was treating my scrapes with iodine when someone knocked on the infirmary door. It was Bobby. He had probably seen that I was hurt and came over out of politeness to say thank you. But just as he approached the bed, his gaze unintentionally moved downward and swept over my half-open backpack— At the iridescent shell I had carefully wrapped in a handkerchief. The last trace of warmth in his eyes instantly froze into thick ice. At that moment, his expression was filled with undisguised disgust and wariness. Facing his gaze, cold as a blade, my throat tightened. I couldn’t explain a single word. In the end, I could only squeeze out two dry words. “I’m sorry.” He nodded expressionlessly, said nothing, and turned to stride out of the infirmary. I knew that not exposing me on the spot was already the last bit of dignity his upbringing allowed him to give me. But when I dragged my exhausted body home and turned on the spare phone that was almost out of battery, a message from Bobby suddenly appeared on the screen. [Babe, from now on… you should stay away from that girl named Ruby. She’s too scheming.] In that instant. I truly felt very, very sad. 9 After that incident, I tried my best to avoid any contact with Bobby. Wherever he was, I took a detour whenever I could. After all, I had sincerely loved him in secret once. I didn’t want to become a stalker or a scheming girl in his mind. As for tutoring his cousin, I casually made up an excuse and quit. Bobby’s mother was very regretful. She held my hand and tried several times to persuade me to stay. “Ruby, is your family having some trouble? Tell me, Auntie can raise your hourly pay.” At the time, Bobby was sitting on the sofa in the living room. He didn’t even lift his eyelids, flipping through an original-language book with an extremely cold tone. “Mom, can’t we just get someone else? There are plenty of people in California who know a little calculus. I don’t see what’s so great about her teaching.” His mother sighed helplessly, handed me the final check, then instructed Bobby, “It’s late. Drive Ruby home.” The boy picked up his car keys and walked out. He rolled down the window of the SUV and coldly threw out two words. “Get in.” He seemed irritated to the extreme. While waiting at a long red light, he picked up his phone and impatiently dialed a number. The next second. A muffled ringtone suddenly sounded from inside my backpack. Bobby whipped his head around. At the same time, my heart stopped. Only then did I remember. I had planned to return the spare phone to Lisa today, so I had brought it with me. The screech of brakes rang out. Under the force of the sharp turn, my head nearly slammed hard against the car window. All color drained from Bobby’s lips. His handsome brows knotted tightly as he stared at me. “You…” I forced down the heartbeat that was about to leap out of my throat and tried to squeeze out an apologetic smile. Bracing myself, I took my own old phone from my bag, pretended to press answer, and held it to my ear. “Hello, Dad? Yeah, I’m doing fine.” “School is good. My classmates take care of me too. I’ve made a few new friends. Don’t worry about me.” As those lies flowed naturally from my mouth, I suddenly discovered, sadly, that I was far calmer at lying than I had imagined. Actually, ever since I was little, I had understood one thing. There were many things in this world that never belonged to me from the very beginning, and I had no right to covet them. For example, the expensive violin in the music shop window. For example, Bobby. Bobby lowered his eyes and glanced at his own screen, still in the middle of dialing. The fleeting astonishment and complexity in his eyes finally faded little by little. By the time I hung up that nonexistent call, Bobby’s expression had returned to its usual calm indifference. “We’re here.” He stepped on the brake. I unbuckled my seat belt and nodded. “Thank you.” The veins on the back of his hand stood out slightly as he gripped the steering wheel. His gaze lingered on me for one second. In the end, he only gave a faint “Mm.” I knew I had just missed the best chance to tell him everything. But so what? I pushed open the car door and sighed so quietly it was almost inaudible. Actually, if Bobby had put just a little effort into looking up my file, he would have discovered that in my panic, I had told a lie full of holes. My father had passed away ten years ago. 10 The next day, I finally returned that troublesome spare phone to Lisa. She unlocked the screen and naturally saw the message Bobby had sent warning her to stay away from me. Lisa’s expression instantly became a little awkward. She bit her lower lip and said softly, “I’m sorry, Ruby. It’s all because I’m usually too careless… I didn’t expect him to have such a deep prejudice against you.” I gave a low “Mm.” “I didn’t expect it either.” The hallway was a little noisy, and she didn’t hear clearly. “What did you say?” I forced a smile and turned my face toward the window. “Nothing.” Just like that, my relationship with Bobby dropped completely to freezing point. Once, in the photocopied AP Physics notes Nolan lent me, I found several pages of Bobby’s handwritten problem-solving ideas tucked inside. That afternoon, I picked those pages out and walked to Nolan’s seat to hand them to him. Nolan was lying on the desk catching up on sleep. Hearing movement, he lazily raised his head. “Oh, I probably mixed them in when I was checking answers with him the day before yesterday.” He yawned. “But his handwriting is neater than mine, and his logic is clear. Keep them and use them. They’ll help with your exam.” I waved my hands abruptly as if I had touched something scalding. “No need.” “I… I’m more used to reading your notes. Your steps are more detailed.” Nolan’s pretty peach-blossom eyes instantly curved into crescent moons. He reached out and lightly flicked my forehead, laughing as he scolded me. “Fine. I’ll take that as you complimenting me in a roundabout way.” Bobby, sitting diagonally behind us, stopped spinning his pen. He lifted his eyelids slightly and glanced faintly toward us, some dark, unreadable emotion surging in his black eyes. I slapped the papers onto Nolan’s desk and walked away quickly without looking back. Behind me, Nolan hissed softly, picked up the notes, and muttered: “Hey, Bobby, why has this girl been avoiding you lately like you’re the plague? Did you bully her behind my back?” Bobby was silent for a long time. He moved his gaze coldly toward the window, his voice without the slightest fluctuation. “Who knows.”
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