Eight years, six months, and 25 days after I started dating Ryan. We broke up. The reason? While we were having dinner, he placed his phone face down on the table. The buzzing vibration sounded like a countdown to the end of our relationship. I put down my knife and fork. “Ryan, let’s break up.” Sitting across from me, he seemed to finally breathe a sigh of relief. He didn’t even bother to ask why, just said, “Okay.” He finally didn’t need to pretend anymore. All because of what he said in front of all the teachers and students back in high school. “Aria, I will never break up with you in this lifetime.” So. He was waiting for me to say it. It took him less than ten minutes to pack up his things. As if he had already decided in his mind what to take and what to leave behind. Just like our relationship. There were clearly problems long ago. But because of that vow, he still took meticulous care of me, playing the role of the perfect boyfriend. But while his body could do it. His heart. Couldn’t. He would unconsciously smile when he opened his phone. When buying sanitary pads with me, he’d instinctively recommend another brand, saying it was less likely to leak. He even started to take an interest in cooking. Unfortunately, he never made the dishes I liked. I watched him, from loving me. Gradually detach from this relationship. Finally, when he even forgot my mother’s death anniversary. I said we should break up. And he. Agreed without hesitation. So quickly. I thought it was an illusion.
Less than an hour after the breakup. A friend sent me a video of him announcing his new relationship. My hand involuntarily tightened around the phone. So. It was her. That new intern at the company. Vivian, who used to follow me around every day, sweetly calling me “Aria.” “Aria, I don’t understand this report, can you teach me?” “Aria, don’t worry about your business trip, I’ll take care of your cat at home!” “Oh Aria, just go ahead, isn’t your boyfriend just in the hospital for a few days with food poisoning? He’s not that delicate, I can bring him meals, right?” … I looked at the cold food in front of me, with a thick layer of oil on the surface. A wave of nausea surged up. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up violently. Disgusting. How disgusting.
I took three days off from work. The day Ryan left, I started vomiting. At first, I thought it was my body’s reaction to the double betrayal from my boyfriend and friend. But later, even when I was about to clean up the dishes, just the smell of fish made me throw up again. With a bad feeling, I went downstairs to buy a pregnancy test. Those glaring two lines made me see black. Isn’t it ironic? Just half a month ago. Ryan was still crazy in bed with me, taking me all night long. He said: “Aria, let’s have a baby?” That time, we didn’t use any contraception. How. Could it be so coincidental? I closed my eyes. It took me three days to barely accept. The fact that Ryan had left me. My hand unconsciously rested on my abdomen. I’m sorry. You who are not expected. You were never meant to come into this world.
A friend said there was a dinner gathering today and asked if I wanted to go. After staying at home for three days, the negative emotions almost suffocated me. I thought, it might be good to go out for a while. But I didn’t expect. At the gathering, he actually brought his new girlfriend, and even confronted me face to face. “Aria, what happened between us is over.” “Vivian is different from you, she’s pure and shy, don’t bully her with your business tactics.” I put my wine glass down on the table. It really wasn’t interesting at all.
When Ryan said those two sentences, the scene went quiet. The friends present all looked at me awkwardly. I raised my eyes to look at Ryan, as if I had never known this man who had been with me for eight years. Seeing me look over, Vivian trembled like a little white rabbit and hid behind him. Ryan frowned and protected her. “Aria, this isn’t the company, don’t use your tactics of bullying newcomers on her.” Huh. I chuckled lightly. I put down my wine glass and picked up my coat from the back of the chair: “I’ve already paid for the meal, everyone enjoy yourselves.” “I’ll be leaving first.” As I passed by, I saw Ryan give me a complicated look. While waiting for a ride at the entrance, my phone rang. “Aria, you’re a rational person.” “I hope our situation won’t affect Vivian’s work.” “Don’t target her at the company.” Seeing my car arrive, I put away my phone expressionlessly.
Vivian was a new intern at the company. A girl who had just graduated was always cautious and prone to making mistakes. So I was a bit strict with her, but sometimes when I saw her crying alone in the corner, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, thinking she was just like myself when I first entered society. So I took care of her a bit more in daily life. Sometimes when she didn’t have suitable clothes to meet clients, I would buy them for her without hesitation. I even brought Vivian along on dates with Ryan sometimes, just so she could eat something good. But when did she and Ryan start to become different under my nose? Was it when Ryan got sick, and I was out of town on a business trip, so I asked her to bring him cold medicine? Or was it when Ryan was hospitalized with food poisoning, and I was busy with a big deal, so she volunteered to bring him nutritious meals at the hospital every day? I was completely unaware. I only thought that the tacit understanding between Ryan and Vivian at those times was just because they had similar tastes. But. It doesn’t matter anymore.
After a dazed night’s sleep at home, the alarm for work rang punctually. The adult world is like this. Even if the sky falls, there’s only limited time to recover your emotions. Three days of leave, today even if the world was ending, I had to work normally. I looked at myself in the mirror. A heavy layer of dark circles under my eyes. But for today’s promotion dinner, I still dressed up nicely. The Director resigned a month ago, and before she left, she recommended me to the Vice President. As of yesterday, the probation period was over, and from the Vice President’s words, it seemed he would announce my appointment as Director today. This news had already spread through the group chat yesterday, and some people were even urging me to treat everyone. Everyone had already agreed yesterday to go to the newly opened trendy restaurant for dinner. My treat. But when I entered the company, everyone gave me meaningful looks. When I looked back, they all avoided my gaze. I frowned. Sure enough, just as I sat down, Vivian walked into the company wearing a high-end suit, with light steps. Behind her were two people carrying hands full of coffee. She clapped her hands energetically: “Thank you all for your hard work recently, don’t leave after work today, it’s my treat!” After saying this, the two colleagues distributed the coffee to everyone. When the coffee was all handed out, everyone had one. Coincidentally, I was left out. I already had a vague idea of what was going on. Vivian seemed to just notice me, apologizing: “Oh, Aria, you’re here too, I’m sorry I thought you weren’t coming today, so I didn’t buy your coffee.” She walked a few steps closer, handing me her coffee: “I haven’t drunk from this cup yet, Aria, if you don’t mind, have mine.” Seeing that I didn’t take it, she pushed the coffee into my hand, but just as the coffee touched my fingers. She let go. With a “bang”, a cup of coffee exploded all over the floor. “Aria, what are you doing?” Before I could speak, I was pushed hard. The man protected Vivian and stepped back, his eyes full of concern: “Are you okay? Did you get burned?” “Oh no, Manager Aria is hurt!” a colleague exclaimed. As Ryan instinctively looked at my hand. Vivian gently tugged at Ryan’s clothes, her eyes brimming with tears, as if they would fall at any moment. “I’m fine, don’t blame Aria, she just didn’t hold it steady, it wasn’t intentional…” “Don’t blame her, really it wasn’t…” Ryan calmly withdrew his gaze and patted Vivian’s head. “You’re too kind, you’ll be taken advantage of like this in the future!” Vivian looked at Ryan with eyes full of smiles and stuck out her tongue. The two talked more and more… I quietly watched the two of them. So love really can be transferred. Ryan, who was so caring towards me just a few days ago. In the blink of an eye, could transfer the same love to another person. Huh.
At closing time, I sat in the Vice President’s office. I’ve been with the company for seven years, working diligently. When the company started as a small startup with only three to five people, step by step to where it is now. Every step has my shadow. In my view, the Director position was well-deserved. The Vice President helplessly rubbed his forehead. “I know you’re a meritorious employee of the company, but you know…” He paused, as if throwing caution to the wind. “You know, Ryan Tech has given us a big deal, this deal can save us five years of hard work!” “Aria, you can’t fight against the tide, do you understand what I mean?” I lowered my eyes. So that’s how it is.
But the hand resting on my leg couldn’t help but tremble. I knew the Vice President was in a difficult position too. To avoid losing control of my emotions here, I nodded and left the office. It was already closing time, and the company colleagues were leaving in twos and threes. I sat in a bathroom stall, finally unable to hold back my breakdown. If Ryan’s cliff-like breakup still allowed me to maintain a calm exterior. But the Director position falling to Vivian, and moreover, it was because Ryan used his power to pressure for it, this really made me completely break down. He clearly knew how long I had worked for this position. I had even been working almost non-stop for nearly a month. But when it came down to it, Ryan stabbed me in the back. “You said Director Vivian is treating everyone today, will Manager Aria go?” “That’s hard to say! But if she goes, there’ll be a good show to watch!” “That’s true, it’s really something to sigh about.” “What’s there to sigh about, she used to be the young master’s girlfriend, of course the company favored her, now that the young master is tired of her, naturally the Director position has to be given up!” The two were washing their hands while gossiping outside. “What? Tired of her?” “Don’t you know? Director Vivian said the young master said holding her hand was like holding his own hand.” “Sleeping with her is not as good as using his own hand? Hahahahaha…” With a “bang”, I forcefully pulled open the stall door. The two turned to see me, their faces turning pale. “Ma-Manager Aria?”
I came to the sink and washed my hands leisurely. “What? Do you want to try young master Ryan’s hand too?” The two pushed each other and ran away like the wind, their footsteps fading into the distance. “Tch! What are you so proud of…” I took out a cigarette and lit it. The smoke I exhaled curled in front of me and dissipated. Huh. Ryan is still Ryan. When he likes someone, he spoils them to death. Just the day before. He was telling me not to use my position to make things difficult for Vivian. But in the blink of an eye, he used his power to pressure me. And this society. It’s really fucking messed up.
Coming out of the company, a luxury car was parked ostentatiously at the entrance. I was very familiar with this car. It was Ryan’s car. Seeing me come out of the company, he took out a cigarette and leaned against the car door, waving at me. I hesitated for a moment, but still walked over. Only when I got there did I realize. Vivian was sitting in his passenger seat. That place. That once belonged only to me. How many times before, she stood in my current position, enviously looking at me sitting in the passenger seat, saying: “Aria, your boyfriend is so good to you.” “Aria, you have to be careful of those little vixens nowadays, don’t let them steal your boyfriend, don’t worry, I’ll help you keep an eye out!” Later, one time when I got off work and saw Ryan’s car downstairs, I thought he had come to pick me up, but I didn’t expect Vivian to rush past me like a gust of wind, naturally opening the passenger door and about to sit down. I couldn’t help but call out Vivian’s name. She visibly stiffened for a moment, then naturally closed the car door, saying. “Oh Aria, I thought you were in the car!” Then she linked arms with me and said she thought I was in the car and wanted to find me after work to have dinner together. At that time, Ryan’s expression was also very natural. That bit of discomfort and suspicion quickly dissipated. Thinking about it now, I wasn’t just stupid. I was stupid and unaware of it. Seeing me come over, Vivian smiled and nodded: “Aria.”
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