Before our Mating Ceremony, my mate Damien withdraws our Mating Application overnight, then submits one with Nora. Nora, the younger sister of his late Beta. When I hear the news, there is only one day left before the deadline. Warrior Sam looks troubled as he explains for Damien. “Luna, Alpha says saving a life is the highest honor for our kind.” “It is a fake bond, just to let Nora stay in the Blackwood Pack for treatment. Only you can understand his intention.” I tear the application that was meant for our honeymoon into pieces. “I don’t understand, but I’ll let him have his way.” The scraps scatter across the floor. Sam’s face turns red. “Luna, Alpha, he also…” “Call me Healer Lola,” I say calmly. Sam freezes. His mouth opens, then he lowers his head. “Yes, Healer Lola.” “Alpha asked me to tell you, once Nora settles in the pack, he will end the bond with her and form a mate bond with you right away.” “He says you are the only one in his heart.” I gather the herbs on the table and place them into a box. “Who he keeps in his heart is his business.” “My application can only be submitted once.” “Go tell him, my mate slot has no backup.” Sam’s face goes pale. He wants to say something, but my phone rings. “Healer Lola, a patient’s condition just turned critical. We need you now.” “I’m on my way.” I hang up and put on my healer robe. Before I leave, I glance at Sam. “Anything else?” He shakes his head and steps aside. I walk out of the office. At the end of the hallway, I see Damien. He is in his combat uniform, standing by the window. Nora stands beside him, holding a coat, about to drape it over his shoulders. Damien does not turn around. He just looks out the window. Nora sees me. Her hand pauses in midair, and she gives me a smile. I look away and walk into the ward. Memories flood my mind. I have known Damien for twenty-two years. We grow up together. He drives away the male wolves who bully me. I mend his torn battle gear. He becomes Alpha, respected by the entire Blackwood Pack. I become the best healer. In everyone’s eyes, we are fated mates. He sets the largest room in the Pack House as our mate residence. The day we get the key, he lifts me up and spins me three times in our new home. He laughs. “Lola, this is our home from now on.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “Damien, welcome home.” I handle the entire renovation myself. As Alpha, Damien often goes to the border. I take half a month off and run across the whole territory to find materials. The day he returns, I cover his eyes. He opens them and looks at the new home. He says nothing for a long time. Then he pulls me into a tight hug. His eyes turn red. “Lola, you worked so hard.” I shake my head. “It’s not hard. I want to do it.” The day we submit our Mating Application, the whole pack celebrates. Damien’s mother holds my hand and places the Luna crown on my head. “Lola, I am your mother now. If Damien ever hurts you, tell me. I will deal with him.” I smile and nod. My eyes grow warm. Damien puts a ring on my finger and whispers in my ear. “Lola, you are my only mate.”
Nora appears one month after we submit our Mating Application. She is the sister of Ryan, Damien’s Beta who died. Ryan dies in a battle with another pack while protecting Damien. It has always been a thorn in Damien’s heart. Nora’s parents are long gone. Ryan is her only family. By pack rules, a lone wolf with no family is sent to the Neutral Lands. The conditions there are harsh, and there are no professional healers. Nora was born with a weak wolf. Damien brings her back from the Neutral Lands and settles her in the pack guesthouse. He tells me, “Lola, this is my responsibility.” I nod. “I understand.” I go with him to visit Nora. The girl is small and thin, wearing old clothes that do not fit. When she sees Damien, her eyes light up, then she lowers her head and speaks softly. “Brother Damien.” Damien hands her the food. “From now on, treat this place as your home.” Nora shakes her head. Tears fall. “I don’t have a home anymore.” Damien’s body stiffens. I walk over and take Nora’s hand. “Don’t cry. From now on, we are your family.” I take her to buy new clothes and bring her to eat good food. I even want her to move into our mate residence. Damien refuses.“It’s not convenient.” I think he is worried about me. Now I realize, he is worried about himself. Nora starts to look for Damien often. Today it is a headache, tomorrow a stomachache, the day after she cannot sleep. No matter what Damien is handling, he goes to her right away. Rumors start in the pack. They say Damien treats Nora better than me, his mate. I do not care. I trust Damien. I trust the bond we build over twenty years. Until the day we submit our Mating Application, we have a party. I wear a white dress and hold Damien’s arm. He looks handsome that day. Standing together, we receive nothing but blessings. A pack elder just walks up to us with a glass of wine when Damien’s phone rings. He glances at it. His expression changes. He says “Excuse me” and walks out with his phone. I stand there. My smile freezes on my face. The hall falls silent. All eyes are on me. Damien’s mother walks over and presses my hand. “Lola, ignore him. We continue.” I force a smile and drink the wine. It burns. Damien comes back soon. He walks to me and lowers his voice. “Lola, I need to go.” “Nora is at the guesthouse. Her wolf loses control. She hurts herself and loses a lot of blood.” My heart sinks. “How is she?” “I don’t know. The staff called. They say it is serious.” There is panic in his voice I have never heard before. I look at him. “Damien, today is our application day. She has been taken to the Healer House, and the healers will take care of her.” He avoids my eyes. “I know.” “But she’s in bad shape. She needs me now.” “I will explain when I come back.” He does not look at me again. He turns and leaves. I watch his back disappear at the door. I almost drop the glass in my hand. That night, I drink the rest of the wine alone. Damien does not come back. Early the next morning, I get a call from the Healer House. A wolf warrior is badly injured. I rush there, change into my healer robe, and work for eight hours straight. When it is over, it is already dark. I take off my robe and get ready to go home. In the hallway, I see Damien and Nora in a ward. Nora wears a hospital gown. Her face is pale. Her hands are wrapped in thick bandages. Damien holds a bowl of soup and feeds her one spoon at a time. “Eat a little more. You haven’t eaten all day.” Nora shakes her head. Her eyes fill with tears. “Brother Damien, I can’t eat.” “Am I useless? I only bring you trouble.” Damien puts the bowl down and gently touches her head. “Don’t think like that. I am here.” “Your brother is gone. I will take care of you for the rest of my life.” Nora cries harder. She leans into his arms, her shoulders shaking. “Brother Damien, you are so good to me.” Damien holds her and pats her back softly. I stand there and watch them. My phone alarm rings. It reminds me that today is my birthday. Damien hears it and looks up. He sees me. His expression stiffens for a moment, then he stands. “Lola, let me explain.” Nora sees me too. She peeks out from behind him and calls softly. “Healer Lola.” I look at them and suddenly feel it is ridiculous. I say nothing and turn to leave. Damien chases after me and grabs my hand. “Lola, don’t be mad.” “Nora, she just…” “Let go.” My voice is cold. He freezes. I shake off his hand and walk away without looking back. That night, I go back to our mate residence alone. I open a bottle of wine and sit on the floor. My phone is filled with dozens of messages from Damien. “Lola, I’m sorry.” “Lola, where are you?” “Lola, reply to me.” I do not reply to any of them. I just hold the bottle and drink it slowly. “Happy birthday, Lola.” I whisper to myself.
After that, we fall into a cold war. Damien comes to the Healer House every day to see me. I ask the other healers to tell him I am busy. So he waits outside my office from morning till night. Everyone in the Healer House sees it. One healer quietly asks me, “Lola, did you fight with Alpha Damien?” I shake my head. “No.” It is not a fight. It is disappointment. A week later, Damien blocks me in the parking lot. He leans against my car door. “Lola, what do you want?” His voice is tired. “Let’s talk.” I look at him and say nothing. He pulls the door open and pushes me into the passenger seat. Then he gets into the driver’s seat and starts the car. He drives fast. In the end, he stops in front of our mate residence. “Lola, I know I was wrong.” “That day, I shouldn’t have left.” “I shouldn’t have stayed with someone else on your birthday.” “But I had no choice.” “Nora, she… she is too pitiful.” “She has no parents since she was young. Her only brother is gone.” “She is alone here, with no one to rely on.” “If I don’t take care of her, she will die.” I listen to him and stay silent. He turns and looks at me. “Lola, you are the most generous, the kindest.” “You are not like her.” “You are strong and independent. Even without me, you can live well.” “But she can’t.” “If she leaves me, she won’t survive.” I finally lift my head and look at him. “So?” “So you sacrifice me to make her whole?” He is stunned by my question. “That’s not what I mean.” “Then what do you mean? Damien, tell me, what am I to you?” He falls silent. The air in the car turns cold. After a long time, he speaks. “Lola, you are the only she-wolf I want to form a mate bond with in this life.” “I love you.” He says he loves me. But those three words sound like a joke to me.
After that talk, Damien still gives Nora everything she asks for. Nora still accepts his care like it is only natural. The only change is that they start to avoid me. Damien stops coming to the Healer House to see me. He stops texting me and calling me. We are in the same pack, yet it feels like we are far apart. Sometimes, when I get off work and go home, I see his car parked under the guesthouse where Nora lives. It stays there the whole night. Sometimes, when I eat in the dining hall, I hear some wolves talking. They say Damien takes Nora to see a new movie. They say Damien buys Nora an expensive bag. They say Nora has already moved into our mate residence. I do not go to check. I am afraid they are all true. My heart feels like it is burning on fire. It hurts, but makes no sound. I cannot sleep. Night after night, I stay awake. When I close my eyes, I see Damien and Nora together. I lose a lot of weight. All the healers can see it. The Chief Elder of the Healer House calls me in. “Lola, something is wrong with you lately.” “Did something happen?” I shake my head. “No.” “Maybe I am just too tired from work.” The elder gives me leave and tells me to rest well. My heart feels empty. I do not know where to go. In the end, I go back to our mate residence. I think I need an answer. I also need an ending. I open the door. A scent that is not mine hits me. A pair of high heels sits by the shoe cabinet. Pink, with lace. It is Nora’s style. Damien’s coat is on the couch in the living room. I walk in step by step. The bedroom door is slightly open. Inside, there is a woman’s laughter and a man’s low voice. My legs feel heavy. I stand at the door, but I do not have the courage to push it open. At that moment, the door opens from inside. Nora walks out wearing my pajamas. When she sees me, she freezes for a second. Then she smiles.“Healer Lola, you’re back.” Her hair is wet. She smells like body wash. I look at her, my whole body shaking. “Where is Damien?” Nora feigns a shy look and points behind her.“Brother Damien is in the shower. He says he is very tired today.” I follow where she points. Inside the bedroom, our bed is a mess. Two empty glasses sit on the nightstand. A loud crack goes off in my mind. My wolf roars inside me. I turn and run. I do not know how long I run or where I go. There is only one thought in my head. I never want to go back to that place again.
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