I Supported Him from a Debt-Ridden Streamer to a Top Internet Celebrity For six years, I worked multiple jobs despite my gastritis to help him pay off his debts. Yet he flirted with others during his livestreams and accompanied sponsors to scenic night views. I never complained, silently cleaning up every mess he made. Until that day, when I received photos of him in bed with his top fan. He knelt down and proposed, promising to marry me once the debts were cleared. I pushed him away and calmly replied, “I don’t love you anymore.” The person I loved was the young man who bought me porridge six years ago. “Ouch—” I curled up on the changing bench, peeling off a band-aid. The fluffy fur of the Mickey Mouse head was sticking to my sweaty neck, while the air conditioning vent blew cold air directly onto my bleeding ankle. Just as my phone vibrated, I accidentally knocked over the iodine bottle with my knee. As Ryan Collins’s message popped up, the brown liquid was dripping onto my phone screen. The light came on, revealing the gastroscopy report I hadn’t had a chance to check earlier: “Chronic atrophic gastritis.” The diagnosis was slowly being covered by the medicine. I quickly wiped the screen with my palm, careful not to touch the costume. A single costume was worth a whole day’s wages from my part-time job. “Babe, a sponsorship deal fell through. I need to accompany Ms. Chen today.” The heartbreaking stomach pain began to throb again. I tilted my head back, trying to hold back my tears. “Okay.” To help Ryan pay off his debts, I had been working two part-time jobs for two years, hoping to clear his debts as soon as possible. Ryan’s parents had accumulated a lot of debt due to gambling. Being a filial son, he started livestreaming in his sophomore year to help pay off his parents’ debts and support his sister, taking advantage of his good looks and physique. However, over the past few years, his business had grown significantly, expanding from online to offline, and he started choosing more lucrative work. “Ms. Chen’s Rolls-Royce leather seats are much more comfortable than the livestream studio,” his words from last week’s stream suddenly echoed in my ears. I clutched my stomach, trembling as I opened my yellowing second-hand designer bag. I twisted open the medicine bottle only to find that I had run out of painkillers. They say the stomach is an emotional organ. So, even my stomach could feel it? Before I could dwell on it, Jane, who often introduced me to part-time jobs, walked in. “Emily, the dinosaur costume needs two layers of cotton lining to be stable enough.” Jane threw the costume over my shoulder. The synthetic fabric rubbed against my sunburned skin, but I couldn’t feel any pain except in my stomach. “The girl who played Mickey last month and got heatstroke was diagnosed with heat illness today.” Seeing my determination, Jane, despite being a capitalist, added a few more words about taking precautions against heatstroke. The scorching 104°F heat couldn’t deter me from returning to the amusement park. “Phew, finally done.” I staggered with dizziness, stars dancing before my eyes as I took off the character head. A cool breeze hit my neck – it turned out a light rain had started. I suddenly remembered that stormy night in my freshman year. Ryan stood under the dormitory building for three hours, holding a leaking umbrella, with a convenience store red bean bread tucked in his jacket. He said, “My part-time job money just came in. Want to go for Japanese food?”
The stinging pain from the blood blister on my ankle brought me back to reality. Without time to think further, I returned to the changing room to put away the costume and continued with my part-time job. As the seventh shot of tequila slid down my throat, the house singer’s husky voice suddenly tore through the noise. “All these years of youth I’ve given you—” I knocked over the bar stool as I rushed to the bathroom, my knees hitting the marble steps hard. Vomit mixed with blood splattered on my newly opened phone screen. Ryan’s livestream was exceptionally clear amidst the filth. His fingers were pinching a cherry stem, using the magic trick I taught him to charm the VIP fan into flooding the screen with Porsche gifts. As my stomach cramped, I seemed to see the Ryan from years ago in a haze. “Babe, you need to eat well even when you have a fever. Come on, the porridge is still hot, hurry and eat it.” Twenty-year-old Ryan braved the rainy night, warming the porridge container with his body heat, the plastic spoon broken in two inside the thermal bag. I slowly turned off the screen, a salty taste now surging up from my stomach. Forcing myself back to the bar, I kept repeating to myself: “I need this job. Once the debts are cleared, Ryan and I will have a bright future!” The fur-clad woman in the booth, cigarette dangling from her lips, saw me return and dug her sharp, long nails deep into my shoulder. “Finish this bottle, and I’ll give you a grand in cash.” Her nail jewels scraped against my collarbone, where Ryan’s bite marks from yesterday still left a bruise. People around started to egg me on, and the manager came over repeatedly urging me to drink. Fighting the discomfort in my stomach, I slowly poured the cold alcohol mixed with my freely falling tears down my throat. My stomach suddenly began to spasm, and I couldn’t hold onto the expensive liquor, dropping it onto the table. Glass shards scattered across the glass table, and the manager’s palm came flying towards me with a whoosh. I fell to the ground powerlessly, seeing countless pathetic reflections of myself in the glass shards. I didn’t even notice my knees being cut by the broken glass.
Ryan’s video call came through at that moment. Taking advantage of the cleaning lady tidying up the table, I ran to the side and pressed the answer button. The crystal chandelier behind the man hurt my eyes. Seeing my background, he hesitated for a moment and frowned. “Come home early after your part-time job.” After briefly saying this, he swirled his wine glass and said with a smile: “Thanks to Ms. Chen, I landed a new endorsement deal tonight. I’ll take you to pick out wedding rings next week.” I stared at the Rolex Submariner on his wrist. Suddenly remembering his reddened hands from our junior year. The chilblains from handing out flyers in 19°F weather were exchanged for a bowl of beef noodles. All just to celebrate my 22nd birthday. Ryan was still showing off the logo on his steak knife in the video. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” His frown was identical to the one he wore during livestreams. A coquettish female voice came from the background. I recognized it as the second-highest tipper who had sent thirty Diamond gifts last month. Blood trickled from my knee into my high heels – the 4-inch stilettos were his anniversary gift. At this moment, the manager called me over. I hurriedly hung up the phone and downed the eighth shot of tequila the manager brought over. As the alcohol burned through my stomach lining, the house singer was crooning, “Forever isn’t necessary for love to be complete.” The neon sign shattered into stardust through my tear-filled eyes. The warmth of that bowl of porridge from when I was twenty had finally grown colder than tonight.
The Hermès gift box in the entryway was tied with a silver ribbon, reminiscent of the clumsy bow he tied on our first night together. The shower stopped, and Ryan came out, pressing against me with steamy warmth. I counted three new scratch marks on his abs, one less than Ms. Li had left last month. “Just bought a new bag, see if you like it.” He licked the sweat off my collarbone, his fingertips trailing down my spine. As the platinum bag’s metal clasp cut through the darkness, I felt the curled hair inside the lining, just long enough to wrap around his wrist twice. Fireworks exploded outside the window as Ryan made his vow in a husky voice. “Once the debts are paid off, I’ll set off fireworks for you every day.” But now, the ticking of his Vacheron Constantin watch on his wrist was clearer than his vows. I counted my heartbeats, waiting for him to tell that all-too-familiar lie. “The platform wants to push me for the year-end gala.” He whispered, nibbling on my earlobe, the couple’s ring on his ring finger digging painfully into my skin. This wasn’t our couple’s ring. Seeing me staring intently, he casually said it was something Ms. Chen required him to wear, telling me not to mind it. “Once we get the bonus, we’ll go get married in Iceland, your favorite place, okay?” I composed myself and said okay. The digital clock on the bedside table changed to 02:07, and suddenly his phone screen lit up. The lock screen notifications were crowded with unread messages, including the topmost one with a pink avatar. “Babe, the couple’s necklace you gave me is so pretty~” My brow twitched, and I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Hearing him tiptoe to the balcony to reply to the message, I painfully supported my sore waist to get out of bed, took out the key, and pulled open the most hidden drawer. It was empty. It used to hold the couple’s necklace I had personally designed for our fourth anniversary. Moonlight sliced through the curtains onto the bedsheet, making the stain he had just left look incredibly ironic. When Ryan returned and saw me standing blankly to the side, he noticed the open drawer. He hurriedly grabbed my arm. “Babe, I’m just playing along with clients, don’t take it seriously. Think about it, we can make so much money just by borrowing it for a while!” “What were you just doing?” I asked calmly. Ryan paused for a moment. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m participating in the year-end gala. My assistant just told me that to win the bonus this time, you’ll need to cooperate with me for a while!”
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