My best friend, Lily, was being abused by her husband. The moment she called, my boyfriend, Ethan, and I drove over a thousand miles through the night, crossing two state lines to get to her. We worked like a charm. I was the one throwing punches at her toxic husband, and Ethan was the one blocking the door. Lily froze for a second before joining the fight. On the drive back, the three of us looked at the bruises on each other’s faces and burst out laughing. But as Lily laughed, she started to cry. “You two better never fight,” she sobbed. “If you guys ever break up, who am I going to turn to?” Ethan, sitting in the driver’s seat, rolled his eyes. “We’re great, and we’re not breaking up, thank you very much. Worry about yourself.” From that day on, I took Lily into my apartment. I took care of her meals, her daily life, and encouraged her to start fresh. Ethan even got a little jealous. “Chloe, I’m your boyfriend. Why are you spending every single second with Lily?” Then, I went to Germany for a three-month business trip. When I came back, I found a pink plush keychain hanging in Ethan’s car. He stubbornly refused to admit who gave it to him. My face went cold, and I broke up with him on the spot. I grabbed my bags and called for Lily to leave with me. But instead of coming to my side, I watched her, pale-faced, walk slowly toward Ethan.
The air seemed to freeze. All I could hear was the rushing of the wind in my ears. Lily’s face was deathly pale, as if she would burst into tears at any moment. I tried my best to steady my trembling voice. “What is the meaning of this?” Ethan, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly stepped forward and held Lily’s hand, locking their fingers together. “I wanted to find a better time to tell you. That night… we both got drunk. Chloe, keeping it from you wasn’t fair.” I stared at their locked fingers. My vision went black. After an eight-hour flight, before I even had a chance to unpack my luggage, my body swayed. I almost collapsed to the ground. Ethan’s face tightened. He instinctively took a step forward to catch me, but I raised my hand, cutting him off. Lily’s eyes were bloodshot. She hesitated, not daring to come closer, and could only whisper my name in a small, trembling voice. “Chloe… did you skip the airplane food again? Is your blood sugar low? Are you dizzy…” She tentatively opened her palm. In it lay a single, wrapped creamy milk candy. My eyes stung. I clenched my teeth and forced the words out. “Shut up. I don’t want to make a scene in public.” I didn’t look at them again. I grabbed the handle of my suitcase, turned around, and walked straight into the crowd. The cold night wind blew against my face, drying the tears at the corners of my eyes. It was rush hour, and it was almost impossible to get an Uber. By the time I finally got home, Lily had already packed her things. She stood at the door, looking at me, hesitating to speak. I glanced at the matching slippers by the door, and the cartoon pillows on the sofa that featured the two of them. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t help but picture it. The night they got drunk, did they make out right here on this sofa? A wave of nausea hit me, and my stomach cramped so hard I almost threw up. My suitcase still held the German cookies I had bought for her, and the designer scarf I had picked out for Ethan. I remembered when Lily had called me on FaceTime, holding up her phone. “Don’t worry, Chloe! Thanks to your Ethan, I successfully got the job at the hospital. But you, take care of yourself in Germany. Remember to eat, and don’t forget to buy me those cookies! I sent you the picture.” I slammed the suitcase onto the floor, ripped out the cookies and the scarf, and threw them, along with the pillows, straight into the trash can. Lily’s tears spilled over instantly. Ethan frowned and stepped in front of her. “This is my fault. If you’re angry, take it out on me.” He looked down at Lily, his voice softening. “Wait for me outside.” Lily looked back at him with every step she took, dragging her suitcase out the door. When the door finally clicked shut, Ethan pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He paused, then put it back. “No matter what, I’m sorry.” “Chloe, I’ll talk to my dad. I’ll make sure you get the Assistant Chief of Cardiology position.” I clutched my cramping stomach and let out a cold laugh. “What is this? Compensation? Or a handout? I don’t need your charity.” Ethan’s expression changed. “You’re always like this. You act like there’s nothing in this world you can’t handle on your own. Chloe, I was your boyfriend. Why couldn’t you just rely on me for once, the way Lily does?” I interrupted him, my voice freezing cold. “Ex-boyfriend.” “And another thing—she needs you because she has no spine. I don’t need you because whatever I want, I can get it myself.” Ethan gave me a long, complicated look. “Take care of yourself.” Then, he quietly closed the door. The apartment was empty now. Only I was left. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I collapsed onto the sofa, my stomach hurting so badly that I broke out in a cold sweat, my tears finally spilling over. I clutched my stomach and whispered to the empty room, “Damn it… it hurts. It hurts so much…”
At midnight, I woke up from a nightmare. I instinctively reached out and pushed the space next to me. “Can you get me some water?” My hand hit nothing but cold, empty sheets. The living room was pitch black. The only sound was the ticking of the clock. I stood in the darkness for a long time until the doorbell rang. When I opened it, no one was there. Only a thermal food delivery bag sat quietly on the mat. A sticky note was attached to it, written in a handwriting I knew all too well. [I bet you haven’t eaten. No matter what happened between us, don’t ruin your health.] I only gave it a cold look, then shut the door. I turned on the kitchen light, boiled some water, and made myself a bowl of instant noodles. Before, whenever I came home late from a long shift, Lily would pad around in her slippers, nagging me while crowding into the kitchen to boil water and make me a hot bowl of soup noodles. Now, sitting alone on the rug, I felt utterly exhausted. Maybe I put too much salt in the noodles. Otherwise, why did they taste so bitter and salty? The next day, I put myself together and went back to work at the hospital. The moment the elevator doors opened, I saw Ethan with his hands in his pockets. He was gently, affectionately tapping Lily on the head. When they saw me, their smiles froze instantly. I walked right past them without blinking. Behind me, I could hear some young nurses whispering, asking Lily if she had finally won over Dr. Carter. Her response was forced and awkward. Ethan, however, looked at me with a complicated expression. “You just got back. You probably haven’t rested enough. Do you want me to take your night shift?” I stepped around him coldly. “No, thank you.” Ethan came from a prominent family of doctors. He had been a golden boy his entire life. And I was the only person in the past twenty years who had ever beaten him for the top spot in medical school. That summer, Ethan had stood under the oak tree on campus, flashing his white teeth at me. “You’re Chloe Miller, right? You’re good, but so am I. Next exam, I’m taking the top spot back.” We had competed like that for years, until we both graduated and entered his family’s hospital. To keep people from gossiping, we kept our relationship a secret. Everyone in the hospital knew Dr. Miller and Dr. Carter were fierce rivals. No one knew that the two competitive doctors were actually in a long-term relationship—and had just had a brutal breakup the night before. No one except Lily. She was a nurse. After she escaped her husband, I had spent months counseling her. Not wanting to see her waste away at home, I had asked Ethan for a favor for the very first time in my life, getting her a job at our hospital. And that favor had given them the perfect excuse to spend all their time together. During lunch, Lily and Ethan sat together in the cafeteria. As I walked past, she whispered my name. I paused for a fraction of a second, but I didn’t stop. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily looking downcast, while Ethan ruffled her hair, whispering something to comfort her. When I returned to my desk later, I found a creamy milk candy sitting on the corner. I stared at it, my hand holding my fork freezing. My childhood had been filled with my parents’ constant screaming and fighting. Having enough food to eat was a luxury back then. The only sweetness in my memories was Lily, giggling as she forced half of her milk candy into my hand. Later, when I developed stomach issues and low blood sugar, she always kept a pack of those candies in her bag. Before she moved away for her marriage, she had solemnly told Ethan, “Chloe only likes the original flavor. You have to remember that.” Back then, Ethan had looked at me with clear, tender eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.” And now, looking at the two figures walking away side by side, I let out a self-deprecating laugh. I picked up my tray and walked away without looking back. The candy sat lonely on the corner of the desk, unwanted. It was just a piece of candy. Giving it up wouldn’t be hard.
In the afternoon, Lily was completely distracted. She kept glancing toward the doctors’ office, though I didn’t know who she was looking for. When I went to do my rounds, I noticed the IV drip of a patient and frowned. “Lily.” She snapped out of it. “Dr… Dr. Miller.” I closed the patient’s door, my voice turning completely cold. “What’s going on with the dosage for Bed 11? Is this your first day on the job? Who’s going to take responsibility if something goes wrong?” Lily panicked. After checking the chart, her face went completely white. “Dr. Miller, I… I’m so sorry…” I took a deep breath. “The person you should be apologizing to is the patient, not me.” I turned to the Head Nurse. “Please don’t put Lily on my shifts anymore. Thank you.” Lily’s eyes instantly pooled with tears. She bit her lip, trying hard not to let them fall. Hearing the commotion, Ethan rushed over. After checking the dosage, he frowned. “It was just a minor mistake. There’s no need to make such a big deal out of it.” He patted Lily’s back gently to comfort her. I looked at his familiar face, feeling nothing but a massive wave of absurdity. “Ethan.” “Medical professionals cannot afford a single careless mistake. Behind every oversight is a human life. Who was the one who told me that?” Ethan’s expression changed. He choked on his words. Ethan was the hospital director’s son, spoiled since childhood. When we were in school, he had always tried to compete with me, but I had never backed down. Until one day, he smiled and explained to me, “My family is very strict. Don’t think of me as some lazy, rich trust-fund kid. Chloe, we share the same dreams and ambitions. I worked hard for everything I have, too. Can you please stop hating me?” I had truly believed we were the same kind of people. The hallway light fell on the medical chart, looking blindingly white. My eyes filled with disappointment, and I slowly shook my head. Ethan opened his mouth to say something else, but Lily sobbed, covered her mouth, and ran off. He shot me a deep, frustrated look, then turned and ran after her. From the rooftop of the hospital, you could see the city lights. I stood there, letting the cool evening wind blow over me. Suddenly, the door was pushed open. Lily walked in, her eyes red. “Ethan said… you always come here when you’re upset…” I froze. Whenever I dealt with a difficult patient or a tough case, I liked to come up here to clear my mind. This was supposed to be a secret shared only between Ethan and me. We fought in front of others, but in the empty corners of this rooftop, we had loved each other fiercely. Lily took a step closer. “Chloe, I’m sorry. I know ‘sorry’ isn’t enough. But I really… I couldn’t help my feelings. It just happened.” Her voice cracked. “You’re so strong. You can get anything you want—the job, the skills, everyone’s respect. But I’m different. I’m just an ordinary girl. I just wanted someone to be there for me…” I couldn’t help but sneer. “Out of all the men in the world, did it have to be Ethan?” Her face stiffened. After a long silence, she clenched her teeth. “Chloe, you can hate me or blame me, but I don’t regret it. You did help me a lot, but I don’t owe you anything anymore. We’re even.” I almost laughed out loud. After Lily left, Ethan stepped out from the shadows, standing just a foot away from me. He lit a cigarette. “Chloe, we’ve been together for so many years. But you’re always the calm one. You never say you need me, you never say you miss me, and you never show fear. You don’t need my family’s connections or my resources. Every time I give you a gift, you always make sure to return something of equal value.” “For a long time, I actually thought you didn’t care about me that much.” When he mentioned Lily, his eyes softened. “She’s different. Her whole world is me.” I was quiet for a long time. In the end, I just gave a mocking laugh and said nothing. Lily was a typical “love-brain.” Romance was her entire life, which was why she had been willing to leave her hometown to follow a man. I was different. Love was only a part of my life, maybe just ten percent. But in that ten percent, Ethan had occupied one hundred percent. Too bad he never understood that. I turned and walked away. The wind slammed the rooftop door shut behind me. I would never come back here again.
After that blowout on the rooftop, Lily and Ethan stopped hiding. They proudly announced they were together. They bought afternoon tea for the entire department. The young nurses, clueless about the drama, smiled and called out to me, “Dr. Miller, come get some! We saved an iced Americano for you.” Ethan frowned. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “Her stomach is bad. The warm milk is hers.” Lily’s smile froze. The room went dead silent. I smiled, raising my own insulated mug. “I’ll stick to my warm water.” A few days later, I was off the night shift. As soon as I parked my car, my right eyelid started twitching violently. For the past few days, I had felt like someone was watching me. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. Suddenly, a dark figure rushed at me. My heart hammered in my chest. It was Lily’s ex-husband, Marcus. He was holding a baseball bat, glaring at me with bloodshot eyes. “Chloe, long time no see.” My stomach dropped. I tried to run, but he blocked my path. “You were so brave when you and your boyfriend showed up at my house to beat me up. Why are you acting like a coward now?” “Oh, right, I forgot. Your man was stolen by Lily.” “That bitch is with the hospital director’s son now, so I can’t touch her. But I have to get this anger out of my system. Dr. Miller, you’re just unlucky. You had to be friends with a snake like Lily. You took a bullet for her, and she stabbed you in the back.” Marcus smirked, his grip tightening on the baseball bat. I took a deep breath, slipping my hand into my pocket to feel for my phone. I blindly dialed my emergency contact. My hand was shaking, but I forced myself to stay calm, trying to reason with him. “What do you want? Money? We can talk.” Marcus spat on the ground. “I don’t want money. I want you to pay.” The baseball bat swung toward me. I screamed and bolted. “Marcus, calm down! Assault is a felony!” Marcus chased after me. “My wife ran away and made me the laughingstock of the town! I don’t give a damn about the consequences!” He cornered me in a dead-end alley. My entire body was trembling. “Please… don’t hurt my hands. I have a surgery tomorrow.” “The patient is a little girl. She’s been sick for so long. If the surgery works, she lives…” “Marcus, please…” Before I could finish, the baseball bat swung down with a sickening whoosh, smashing straight into my right arm. I clearly heard the sound of my bone shattering. Right before I blacked out, I looked at my phone, which had shattered on the ground. The screen showed that the call to my emergency contact had gone through. But he had never picked up. When I opened my eyes again, all I saw was the white hospital ceiling and the sharp smell of disinfectant. Lily was kneeling by my bedside, her eyes swollen from crying. “I’m sorry, Chloe… I’m so, so sorry…” Ethan’s eyes were bloodshot. He punched the wall in frustration. “I didn’t know… that call…” I simply closed my eyes. “Give me the X-ray report.” Ethan hesitated before handing it over. As a professional surgeon, one look was enough to tell me how bad the damage was. The physical pain was nothing compared to the agony in my heart. Trembling, I looked at my crying colleagues, and then at Lily and Ethan, who were drowning in guilt. “Get out. Please.” The door closed, and only then did the room fill with my muffled, agonizing cries. Ethan and Lily came to watch over my room every day, but I refused to see them. Until one day, Ethan spoke through the closed door, his voice heavy with pain. “Chloe, even if your hand doesn’t fully recover, it’s okay. I can ask my dad to transfer you to administration. Or would you like to go back to school to teach? Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.” I didn’t answer him. I just looked at my bandaged arm. With a shaking left hand, I drafted a reply to an email from Germany. [I’ve made my decision. I’m coming.]
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