By the tenth year of my marriage to the Moretti Don, I was finally tired of it all. I stopped checking which villa Lucien Moretti had gone to at night, or which woman he had slept with. And I no longer cared whether he loved me. Even when the family doctor sent over birth control pills, I swallowed them without so much as a frown. Lucien returned to the Moretti estate after dark. He stood beside the bed and said my name in a low voice. “Clara, I haven’t been back the past few days because Vivian got hurt.” “She chased a crew that had hijacked one of our shipments into an alley and got slashed.” “You know what she’s like. If I hadn’t gone, she would’ve kept pushing herself.” I lifted the covers and shifted farther into the bed. “It’s fine. Go to sleep. You still have to meet with the committee tomorrow.” Lucien seemed to pause. “You’re really not upset?” I nodded. Who didn’t have someone they never quite got over? Funny thing was, mine had just come back too. … Lucien remained beside the bed, unmoving. “I’m the Moretti Don. I can’t exactly stand by and let her cause trouble on my turf.” I finally opened my eyes and smiled. “You’ve always been compassionate.” My gaze dropped to the streak of red on his cuff. Vivian’s favorite shade of lipstick. Years ago, when the Sterling family needed to marry one of its daughters into the Moretti family, my half sister Vivian had dropped to her knees in front of me. “Clara, I don’t want to be trapped in some Mafia estate.” “I still want to ride motorcycles. I want to run gun routes. I want to be myself.” “Marry Lucien in my place. Please.” I said yes. Later, I became the Donna of the Moretti family. Vivian remained wild and free. But after our marriage, Lucien went to see her every night at a private house in the suburbs. There, they lived like a real couple, free and unrestrained. And I stayed behind in the heavily guarded Moretti estate. Lucien reached for me. I turned my face away. His hand froze in midair. A moment later, he pulled a paper bag from his coat pocket. Inside was a rabbit-shaped caramel, already half melted out of shape. “Saw it on the way back.” “The medicine tastes bitter.” “Have something sweet.” I stared at the misshapen candy rabbit, unsure what I was supposed to feel. Years ago, when I told him I liked sweets from street vendors, he said food sold outside was filthy. “The Moretti Donna shouldn’t stuff herself with candy like a little girl.” And now he had actually remembered to buy me something sweet. I didn’t take it. “Thank you, Lucien.” Lucien frowned. “Clara, I brought this back for you myself, and you’re still giving me that look?” “Are you still upset about Vivian and me?” Of course I had been upset once. On our wedding night, Vivian sent someone to the estate saying she was about to take on a small crew that had betrayed the Morettis all by herself. Lucien had just taken off his suit jacket. The moment he heard her name, he stood up. I asked, “Do you really have to go now?” He said, “You know what she’s like. She’s never been afraid of anything.” “If no one stops her, she’ll walk into that warehouse with a gun tonight.” He didn’t come back until dawn. There was a faint red mark on his neck. He said Vivian had fought him when he tried to bring her back and had scratched the wrong person in the struggle. I had made scenes. I had cried. Eventually, I stopped asking. Lucien was about to explain again when a guard’s voice came from outside the door. “Don, someone just came from Miss Sterling’s place.” “She slipped her security detail and left word that she’s heading to the docks tonight to settle things with the crew that crossed into our territory and stole our shipment.” Lucien’s expression changed. I closed my eyes again. “Go.” He didn’t move. I added, “If she really charges into the docks, you’ll blame me tomorrow for keeping you here.” Lucien’s voice hardened. “Clara, do you have to be this sarcastic?” I said nothing. A dull heaviness pulled at my lower abdomen. I frowned and endured it. There was no point telling him. He wouldn’t care anyway. In the end, Lucien still left. Before he went, he tossed one last sentence over his shoulder. “Get some rest. Stop using your health to punish me.” The door closed. Then came three soft taps against the window. An old silver ring slid through the narrow gap in the frame. A single letter was engraved on the inside of the band. V. Heat rushed behind my eyes. My heart began to pound. Vale. Beneath the ring was a small note. Only one line was written on it. “Clara, if no one in the Moretti family will protect you, I will.” Three years ago, the man I loved most, Adrian Vale, had supposedly died in a shootout along a smuggling route in the north. No body had ever been found. If this ring was here, then he wasn’t dead. My hands trembling, I hid the ring beneath my pillow.
Vivian came to the Moretti estate early the next morning. The moment she stepped into the main hall, she frowned. “Clara, this place is still suffocating.” She looked around, then laughed. “If I stayed here for three days, I’d probably forget how to hold a gun.” I leaned back on the sofa and said nothing. Lucien had come in with her. He was still wearing the same black suit jacket, which meant he had probably left a family meeting and personally gone to the gate to pick her up. Vivian crossed the room in a few quick steps. “Oh my God. Why do you look so pale?” Then, as if she had only just remembered herself, she touched a hand to her mouth. “Listen to me. I’ve spent too much time out there. I say whatever comes into my head.” “You’ve been the Donna for so many years. All those rules, all those responsibilities… I guess it’s only natural you’d look tired.” “I took medicine,” I said. “That’ll do it.” Lucien’s expression shifted. Vivian blinked. “The birth control pill?” “I only said that if Clara had a baby, Lucien would never come out and spend time with me anymore.” “I didn’t think he’d actually have the doctor send you one.” She lowered her gaze, her voice softening. “Clara, you’re not mad at me, are you?” I shook my head. “There’s nothing to be mad about.” She caught Lucien by the sleeve. “See? Clara barely even talks to me now.” “She used to sneak over walls with me and teach me how to ride. If anyone bullied me, she was always the first one to step in.” She laughed, loud and carefree. “Now she’s been the Moretti Donna for so long, it’s like she’s a completely different person.” Lucien frowned. “Clara isn’t well. Stop bothering her.” The words were stern, but his voice had already softened by the time he looked at Vivian. Vivian tipped her face up toward him. “Sometimes I wish you weren’t the Moretti Don.” The hall went still. Then she laughed again. “Then you could come with me to the West Coast. Down to the Mexican border. Up north into the snow.” “No family meetings. None of this endless family business tying you down.” Lucien smiled too. “Vivian, you’re still as wild as ever.” I lowered my eyes. Once, I had been an excellent rider and a crack shot. I was the one who taught Vivian to ride. The first time she ever took apart a gun, my hands had guided hers. Yet somehow, everyone later praised her for being vibrant and free while calling me dull and boring. I had never liked this walled-in estate either. A sudden cramp twisted low in my abdomen. The teacup slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor. Only then did Lucien look at me. “Clara, what’s wrong?” He reached out to steady me. I moved away. “I’m fine.” His face darkened. “Who told you to actually take the birth control?” I looked up at him. “You had the doctor send it. I could hardly refuse.” Lucien went still. Vivian quickly tugged at his arm. “Don’t yell at her. Clara’s been stuck inside this estate too long. She overthinks everything.” “I’m not like that. If something bothers me, I throw a few punches and get over it.” Lucien stared at me, his voice rough. “Clara, you’re allowed to make a scene.” “You used to smash the glass when I told you to take birth control.” “When I tried to give you sedatives, you said they tasted awful and refused to touch them.” “How was I supposed to know you’d actually swallow it this time?” I had almost forgotten that I, too, had once been that alive. Lucien let out a humorless laugh. “You agreed to marry into the Moretti family.” “Now you’re the Donna, enjoying all the wealth and prestige that come with the family, and somehow you act like I’m the one who wronged you.” “A few days ago, Vivian and I went to the relief center in the South District. She saw those children freezing and took off her leather jacket on the spot.” “She said if she owned all the gold and expensive decorations in this estate, she’d sell them for food and medicine.” “And you? You sit here in the main house feeling sorry for yourself.” For one brief second, guilt flashed across Vivian’s face. After all, I was the one who had funded that relief center. I simply hadn’t appeared there in person. I nodded. “You’re right.” Lucien abruptly stood. “I’m tired of looking at you like this.” He took Vivian by the arm and left. The moment the door shut, agony tore through my lower abdomen. Blood ran down my skirt. Mia burst into tears and ran for the doctor. The family physician arrived quickly. After examining me, all the color left his face. “Mrs. Moretti, the bleeding is severe. The baby… I’m sorry. You’ve miscarried.” I nodded. “I understand.” Mia was crying. “Should I get the Don?” I shook my head. “No.” Ten years. This had been my first child. The last thing still tying me to the Moretti estate. Now it was gone. Good.
Three days after the miscarriage, Lucien came to the main house. Several servants followed behind him, carrying jewelry, dresses, and a saddle. I recognized some of the pieces. The black pearl brooch had been pinned to me by the old Mrs. Moretti herself on the day I married into the family. The deep red cashmere wrap was the one Lucien had draped around my shoulders on my birthday. And the saddle had belonged to my favorite chestnut mare. Before I married into the Moretti family, I used to ride her along the trails near the Hudson Valley for hours at a time. Then Lucien decided Mrs. Moretti ought to behave with more dignity and stop thinking about running off alone. Not long after that, the stable keys stopped being given to me. Lucien looked at me, his tone unusually gentle. “Vivian is moving into the estate in a few days. I’m giving these to her first.” I nodded. “All right.” “She’s used to living on her own terms. A lot of things here don’t suit her.” “All right.” “She likes that horse.” “All right.” He stared at me for a long time, then suddenly smiled. “And Vivian agreed.” “She’s willing to stay with me openly now.” I nodded. “Congratulations.” Lucien seemed to be waiting for me to lose my temper. To question him. To sweep every tray in front of me onto the floor. Instead, I said calmly, “I suppose all of New York will know how important she is to you soon enough.” The smile in his eyes faded. At last, he said only, “Get some rest.” After he left, two servants whispered in the hallway. “Miss Sterling really is something. The Don doesn’t even care about the family’s old rules when it comes to her.” “I heard he’s holding a huge celebration for her at the private estate in the Hudson Valley. After that, who would dare call her some mistress he keeps hidden away?” The other servant lowered her voice. “You know, Mrs. Moretti used to love going out too.” “But after she married him, the Don kept saying she didn’t act like a Moretti wife. He barely let her go anywhere.” She paused. “Now Miss Sterling does the exact same things, and suddenly he thinks it’s charming.” I lay there staring at the ceiling. The celebration would be in the Hudson Valley. Not at the Moretti estate. Which meant I would finally have a chance to leave. I called Mia over. “On the day of the celebration, get me something easy to move in.” Her eyes immediately reddened. “Mrs. Moretti… are you finally going to fight for him?” I nodded. “Yes.” Let them believe that. I didn’t want Lucien to turn back to me. I wanted to disappear from this estate that day. And from Lucien’s world. A maid was checking the measurements for my dress when Lucien walked in. He came over and adjusted my cuff. “This color suits you.” Footsteps sounded outside. Vivian stood in the doorway. Her gaze swept through the room before settling on me. She smiled. “The Moretti estate really is nice. Lucien said I could choose any room I wanted.” She laughed softly. “I don’t like most of the others.” “Clara’s is the only one that actually feels comfortable.” The maid’s expression shifted. Vivian seemed to realize only then how that sounded. She turned to Lucien. “I’m not trying to take Clara’s things.” “If it’s inconvenient, forget it. I can sleep in the stables.” Lucien was silent for a moment before looking at me. “Clara, Vivian won’t be staying in the main house often. Maybe…” I smiled. “Fine.” “She can have the room.” Both of them froze. I looked down and smoothed my cuff. “I’ll move out after the celebration.” I was leaving anyway. The room no longer mattered.
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