Who Tastes Better

1 Ever since I was a child, I have had a bizarre biting fixation. Ross, my childhood best friend, was the only one who knew, and he willingly offered himself up to satisfy my cravings. When we were little, it was his wrists. As we grew older, my teeth migrated to his shoulders and the curve of his neck. [Don’t you think he absolutely detests this?] The cold, mechanical voice echoed in my head just as I pulled back from Ross’s shoulder. [Look at how tightly his brow is furrowed, how fast his breathing is. He looks like he’s about to cry from pure disgust.] I looked down. Ross’s eyelashes were indeed damp. He kept his head lowered, his knuckles white as he gripped the edge of his jeans. [He’s practically dying of revulsion from your drool, yet he still hasn’t pushed you away. The Male Lead is way too nice.] It turned out my childhood best friend was the male lead of some story. And the female lead wasn’t me. [If you don’t kick this biting habit soon, just wait until the fated female lead transfers here. You’ll have nothing left to chew on but raw pork.] So, I resolved to break the habit Ross had enabled for over a decade. But when the craving hit me like a physical wave in class, my desk mate, Mary, kindly offered his forearm. “Don’t hold it in,” Mary whispered. “Just bite me.” I was just about to lean in when I caught sight of Ross standing a few yards away, his face deathly pale. … My head was spinning when that mocking, mechanical voice first broke into my thoughts. I had just lifted my head from Ross’s shoulder. “Finished?” His voice was incredibly hoarse, so rough that I barely recognized it. “Yeah,” I murmured. The mocking voice in my head grew louder. [I’m talking to you, NPC. Do you even hear me?] [Don’t you think he hates this?] I frowned, arguing back in my mind. No way. We’ve been doing this since we were toddlers. Ross has never once said no. Realizing I could hear it, the System perked up instantly. [Of course he hasn’t. The Male Lead is gentle, kind, and soft-hearted. He’s not going to say it to your face, and your wooden head is too dense to notice.] [Look at how his shoulders are shaking, how fast he’s breathing. He’s holding back tears because of how gross this is.] I looked down, and my heart sank. Ross’s long eyelashes were indeed glistening with moisture. He kept his head lowered, silently pulling his collar up to cover the damp, reddish teeth marks on his shoulder. His knuckles were stark white. He was trembling. Sensing my gaze, Ross looked up, his dark eyes searching mine. “What’s wrong? Was it not enough?” His Adam’s apple bobbed. Wetness clung to the corners of his eyes, and he looked like he was enduring some unspeakable torment. My mind was a chaotic mess while the System kept up its relentless chatter. [He is literally gagging on your spit and he still asks if you want more. What a saint.] [Look at what you did to his shoulder. Are you a stray dog or what?] I clenched my fists, feeling a sudden pang of hurt. I didn’t bite that hard. The System scoffed. [That’s not the point. The point is that you’re both adults now, and you’re still chewing on the Male Lead. You aren’t the Female Lead. You’re occupying a space that isn’t yours. Understand?] Ross, seeing me space out, waved a hand in front of my face. “Kate?” I snapped out of it and forced a stiff laugh. “Thanks, Ross. I feel a lot better. I should get going.” He sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at the blanket over his knees. After a long pause, he nodded. “Okay. I won’t walk you out then.” The System translated his words instantly. [Yeah, go away. He’s sick of looking at you. He doesn’t even want to walk you to the door. He wants you gone.] The System was incredibly harsh, but its words stung because they felt plausible. I didn’t look at Ross again as I grabbed my bag and left. On my way home, the System explained my reality. I was a minor character in a high school romance novel. My childhood friend, Ross, was the male lead. The female lead was a gorgeous transfer student who would arrive next week. The System took immense pleasure in my misery. [Listen to me, NPC. You need to stay away from him. He only told you to bite him because he felt sorry for your condition. He was just being polite, and you actually took him up on it for years. If you don’t cure this fixation before the actual female lead shows up, you’ll have to buy raw meat from the butcher to satisfy your teeth.] 2 My mood had never been worse. Usually, satisfying my urge left me in a state of calm. I had suffered from this compulsive biting habit since childhood, and before I could even gather the courage to tell my parents, Ross had caught me. It happened back in preschool. He had grabbed my chubby little wrist, ready to drag me to the teacher. “Kate, which kid bit you? Tell me and I’ll go beat them up.” I stared at the deep red teeth marks on my arm, trying to hide behind my backpack. “I did it myself.” I didn’t know why, but my gums were always itching. It was a phantom ache that ran straight from my teeth to my heart, a sensation so overwhelming it made me want to cry. But I didn’t dare tell my parents. I had watched a horror movie the night before about monsters that bit people, and the priest had chased them with a wooden sword. I was terrified of being treated like a monster. Ross stared at my arm for a long, quiet moment. Then, he held out his own wrist. “You bit yourself until you bled. That hurts.” He looked at me with fierce determination. “Next time your teeth itch, just bite me. Kate, I’m a boy. I’m not afraid of pain.” And so, he became my chew toy, all the way from preschool to high school. The arrangement worked until one winter when Ross broke his arm playing basketball. His left arm was locked in a thick, hard cast. I tapped the plaster, looking up at him. “Does it hurt?” Instead of answering, Ross reached up and slowly unzipped his high-neck pullover, exposing the pale, smooth skin of his neck. By then, he had grown tall, his shoulders broadening and his jawline sharpening into something dangerously handsome. His skin was always a beautiful, cool ivory. “Kate, bite here today. The high collar will hide it.” My eyes widened. Looking at his flushed ears, I shook my head frantically. “Biting your neck? That makes me look like an actual vampire. Absolutely not. What about your other arm?” He cleared his throat, his gaze drifting away. “My right hand is for writing, and exams are next week.” That winter, the selfless Ross sacrificed his neck. There was less flesh on his neck than his arm, but it was softer. His forearms were no longer the soft, chubby limbs of our childhood. They were corded with lean muscle that sometimes made my teeth ache. Besides, Ross had a tiny, dark mole right below his ear. Whenever I bit him there, the skin around it would flush a deep, beautiful pink. I eventually grew to love it. It was only when his mother questioned why he was wearing turtlenecks in the middle of summer that he negotiated a shift from his neck to his shoulder. [Do you know why he stopped letting you bite his wrist?] the System asked. My chest felt tight, and I ignored it. The System didn’t care. It kept rambling. [Because the female lead is going to put her hair tie around his wrist. You know what a hair tie on a guy’s wrist means in high school, right?] I covered my ears in annoyance. I don’t care. Shut up! The System seemed taken aback by my sudden outburst. [Whoa. Is our NPC childhood friend turning into a jealous villainess?] While it was busy lecturing me on the tragic endings of a hundred different jealous ex-best friends, the doorbell rang. Ross stood on the porch, holding a small plate. As he grew older, Ross had become increasingly quiet and reserved. He rarely spoke to anyone, but he was always gentle with me. His mother loved baking, and since middle school, Ross had made it a daily ritual to bring me whatever she made. “My mom made blueberry cheesecake,” he said, holding out the plate. I stared at the cheesecake, harboring a tiny sliver of hope. Ross has been good to me our entire lives. He wouldn’t throw me under the bus for some new girl. Those villainess endings won’t apply to me. The System scoffed. [You are completely blind. He is exhausted of you. If his mother didn’t force him to bring this over, do you think he’d even show his face?] [Didn’t you notice how heavy his breathing was when you bit him earlier? He was holding back his anger. If you don’t believe me, test him.] Fine. I would test him. When I reached out to take the plate, I deliberately leaned closer, letting my fingers brush against his. The moment our skin touched, Ross froze completely. A split second later, the plate slipped from his hand, shattering on the floor. He took a sharp step backward, his chest heaving. “Sorry, Kate. My hand slipped.” He quickly knelt to clean up the ruined cake, his head bowed. The forced smile on my face stiffened. The System laughed in triumph. [See? He didn’t even look at you. Look how fast he’s cleaning that up. He can’t wait to run away from your house.] I looked down at the top of Ross’s head. His dark hair was slightly messy, and his shoulders looked incredibly broad. He had grown so much, and we were no longer those innocent kids from preschool. “Ross, thank your mom for me,” I said, my voice hollow. “But, I’m trying to lose some weight. Tell her she doesn’t need to send any more sweets.” He stopped cleaning and looked up, his brow furrowed. “Lose weight? You’re not heavy at all. Why would you diet?” I was in a terrible mood and gave a dismissive shrug. “I just don’t want to eat them anymore. Give them to someone else.” When Ross left, he looked incredibly tense. [It’s a psychological issue,] the System advised. [Go see a therapist and get cured. Stop clinging to him. Look how distracted he was when he left. You’re completely ruining his peace of mind.] I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. The next morning, Ross and I walked to school together. We walked one behind the other, my mind a complete mess. The System had spent the night playing a slideshow of tragic fates of childhood friends in my dreams, leaving me with a lingering sense of dread. “Kate, are you…” Ross suddenly stopped and turned around. Before I could register it, I crashed straight into his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around my waist to steady me. Feeling the firm grip of his hands on my hips, I looked up. Ross’s face was completely rigid. 3 We were so close I could see the rapid flutter of his eyelashes. I saw his pupils contract, a flash of pure panic crossing his dark eyes. [His breathing is getting heavy again. His face is red because he’s so frustrated with you. Back off,] the System chimed in. I scrambled out of his embrace, taking a step back. “Are you… out of it this morning because your urge is acting up again?” Ross asked, clearing his throat after a long silence. He shouldn’t have brought it up. The moment he did, my mouth began to water. My eyes instinctively locked onto the small brown mole on his neck. I pressed my lips together. “No. I’m fine.” Ross lowered his gaze and nodded slowly. After that, the silence between us became deafening. I had never realized how long the walk to school actually was. Ross had always been a quiet guy, but I used to chatter endlessly to fill the gaps. Now, I didn’t have the energy. The System had convinced me that Ross hated me. He hated my touch, he hated being bitten, and he hated my voice. And looking at him now, I realized his mood really was terrible. Several times, he looked like he wanted to say something, his jaw clenching in irritation. I quickened my pace, wanting to end the torture. “Kate, if you need to…” Ross started, but the System cut in. [What a saint. Even though he finds you repulsive, he’s still offering himself up to help with your disease.] I waved my hands frantically. “I don’t need to. Not at all. I’ve been feeling much better lately.” Ross’s dark eyes studied me for a few seconds before his lips pressed into a thin line. “Okay. But let me know if you do.” I muttered under my breath, “I won’t. Not anymore.” It was only when I walked into the classroom that the suffocating weight on my chest lifted slightly. My desk mate, Mary, looked up from his textbook, glancing between me and Ross, who was walking in right behind me. “Did you guys have a fight?” Mary asked. Ross’s expression was so dark that even Mary, who usually noticed nothing but calculus, could feel the tension. I rested my chin on my palm, sighing. “No. Hey, Mary, do you ever read romance novels?” He flipped a page of his practice exam. “Never. But the girls in the back say Ross looks like he walked straight out of one.” That made me feel even worse. Even my classmates saw him as a male lead. We had just returned to the classroom after running laps in gym class, and I was still talking to Mary. I asked him if he thought I could be the female lead of a story. He stared at me for two seconds. “Most female leads aren’t this dumb.” I pinched his arm in annoyance. As we were messing around, a shadow fell over my desk. Two insulated tumblers were placed before us. Ross was standing there, his face clouded with an icy, undeniable irritation. “I brought you some fresh juice this morning,” he said, his voice flat. The System sighed. [The poor guy has been treated like your servant since childhood.] I took one of the cups and took a long sip, trying to figure out how to tell him that he didn’t need to bring me drinks anymore. The classroom was quiet, save for the scratching of pens. Suddenly, Mary cleared his throat. “I think you grabbed the wrong cup.” I looked down. I had just drank more than half of Ross’s personal tumbler. 4 I wanted the floor to swallow me whole. [You really are determined to play the villainess, aren’t you?] the System remarked. [Using his cup? That is classic manipulative behavior.] Terrified that Ross would think the same, I grabbed the tumbler, intending to wash it for him. He immediately stopped me, his hand catching mine. “It’s fine. Just finish it. I’ll wash it later.” He stood close, and I could feel his gaze burning against my lips. When I tried to take another sip, his intense, scorching gaze followed the movement of my mouth. I couldn’t swallow another drop. The System kept badgering me. [He’s watching your every sip. Look how red his face is getting. He’s furious.] [You think he won’t let you wash it out of kindness? He’s going to throw that cup in the trash the second you look away.] Sure enough, the next day, Ross was carrying a completely different tumbler. It felt like a cold weight had settled in my chest. For the first time, the realization hit me with brutal clarity. Ross, the boy who had tolerated my strange habit for over a decade, actually detested me. He hated my touch. He hated everything about me. He would rather throw away something I had touched than use it again. So, when the final bell rang, I decided to slip away early, just like the System advised. By the time Ross walked down our street, I was up on the second-floor balcony hanging up my laundry. With his backpack slung over one shoulder, he looked like a model walking down the quiet sidewalk. Even from a distance, I could tell he looked miserable. He’s walking toward my house. Is he coming to confront me about why I didn’t wait for him? What should I say? The System scoffed. [He’s glad you’re gone. Why would he be looking for you?] I distracted myself by hanging up my clothes. The hangers clattered against the metal rack. Down below, Ross froze. He looked up. Our eyes met, and I froze with a hanger in my hand. “Kate, why did you leave without…” His voice cut off abruptly. His eyes locked onto the black lace bra I had just hung up, and his face instantly flushed a violent red. Without finishing his sentence, he spun around and practically sprinted back to his house. The System was howling with laughter. [What did I tell you? Look at how panicked he was to get away from you. He literally ran.] I wanted to cry. I hadn’t bitten anyone in two days, and the itch in my gums was growing unbearable, mixing with the heavy ache in my chest. After finishing the laundry, I went to my room, bit hard into my own forearm to soothe the ache, and booked an appointment with a specialist for Sunday. The next morning, Ross was waiting at my front door. He walked beside me in silence. The morning traffic, the ringing of bicycle bells, and the chatter of people getting breakfast all faded into a dull hum against our thick silence. “Why did you leave without me yesterday?” Ross finally asked as we neared the school gates. “Mary’s mom picked him up and offered me a ride,” I lied, using my desk mate as a shield. The air around us seemed to turn freezing. “When did you two get so close?” Ross’s brows drew together, his dark eyes swirling with an unreadable emotion. I pressed my lips together. “We’re desk mates. We sit next to each other all day. It’s only natural.” Another heavy silence descended. When he spoke again, his voice was noticeably hoarser. “It’s been three days since you last bit me. You must be struggling. Come to my room after school today. I…” Usually, I could only go a day and a half at most before needing to use Ross to soothe my teeth. It had now been three full days. 5 I forced a smile, trying to sound casual. “No need, Ross. I’m actually almost cured. I don’t need to bite anyone anymore.” Maybe I was imagining things, but Ross’s face seemed to lose all its color. He slowly came to a halt, staring at me blankly. “Cured? How could you suddenly be cured?” I nodded. “I spoke to a therapist. It’s getting much better. Thank you for all your help before.” Ross stood frozen. He didn’t say another word, but the air around us felt like it had dropped below freezing. Since he wasn’t moving, I stood there awkwardly too, until I spotted Mary walking a few yards ahead. I immediately called out to him. “Mary! Hey! What a coincidence, you’re on your way to school too?” Mary stopped and looked back at me like I had lost my mind. I tried to jog over to him, but a firm grip suddenly caught my arm. Ross’s lips were entirely pale. “When did you see a therapist?” he demanded. I’m seeing one this Sunday, I answered silently. But before I could speak, Ross’s eyes dropped to my exposed wrist. There was a deep, angry red teeth mark printed into my skin. I had bitten myself last night. I hurriedly pulled my sleeve down, shook off his grip, and muttered that I had to catch up with Mary before running ahead. Escaping that suffocating atmosphere allowed me to breathe again. Still, I couldn’t help but look back. Ross was still standing on the sidewalk, his head bowed. He hadn’t moved an inch. I couldn’t see his face, only the pale curve of his neck. The System was ecstatic. [Look at the two NPCs chatting away. Did you just tell the Male Lead you were cured?] [Look how happy he is. He’s so thrilled he doesn’t even know how to walk anymore. He’s just standing there like a statue.] I looked away. Mary pushed up his glasses. “What was that about a therapist?” I pulled up my sleeve to show him the bite mark and explained my condition. True to his nature as a study machine, Mary spent the entire walk analyzing the biological and psychological triggers of compulsive biting. Meanwhile, the System was shouting details of the fated romance into my ear. By the time we got through the morning, my brain was completely fried. At lunch, a shadow fell over my desk. I looked up to see Ross back at his desk, but a fresh cup of juice had been placed in front of me. Usually, he would take my cup home to wash it and bring it back the next day. Since I had left early yesterday, this was a brand-new cup. I glanced over at his desk. Our eyes met, and he immediately snapped his head to look out the window. But I noticed the new cup on his desk matched mine perfectly. They were a pair. I finished the juice with a heavy heart. Just as I stood up to wash the cup, Ross walked past my desk again. He seemed to be in a terrible mood. Usually, he would wait for me to finish so he could wash both cups, but today he didn’t touch mine. He just walked past. But he walked incredibly slowly. It was so slow that even Mary, who was busy with a practice test, noticed and looked up with a frown. I couldn’t help but call out to him. “Ross.” He stopped and turned. His face was still carefully blank, but there was a faint, hopeful spark in his dark eyes. [Don’t tell me you’re making him wash your cup again,] the System hissed. [Be a decent person for once. Stop taking advantage of his kindness.] 6 [He has been catering to your whims for years,] the System scolded me. [The Female Lead transfers here next week. You need to back off.] My fingers tightened around the tumbler. “I brought my own water bottle today. Thanks for the juice, but you don’t have to bring me any starting tomorrow.” The ambient noise of the classroom seemed to fade away. Ross stared at me, the tiny spark in his eyes dying out, replaced by a cold, turbulent confusion. “You don’t need it ever again?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly. I washed the tumbler and handed it back to him. He took it, his voice barely a whisper. “Kate, did I do something to upset you?” It was so quiet, yet every word cut through the air. I didn’t know how to respond. The System said he hated me, but his voice sounded so incredibly vulnerable. “No.” “Then why are you trying to get cured? And… why did you lie to me?” I took a quiet breath. “I just want to be normal, Ross.” His beautiful brows knitted tightly. “I never thought you weren’t normal. It’s just a little habit.” The System immediately started buzzing in my ear, telling me to stop talking to him. It pointed out how he was frowning again. [Look at how much you’ve exhausted this poor guy. He has been walking around covered in your teeth marks for years and he still calls it normal. Who in their right mind lets someone chew on them?] [Shut your mouth. Can’t you see how irritated he is?] My head throbbed because I knew the System was right. Ross’s dark, heavy mood was practically suffocating. “You said it yourself, it’s a habit. Only you think it’s fine,” I said softly. “When I told Mary about it this morning, he said it was definitely an issue and helped me analyze what kind of psychological trigger it might be.” The screech of a chair dragging against the floor was violently loud. Ross’s face went completely dark. “Why would you tell him?” his voice dropped, turning sharp. “You promised this was a secret between the two of us.” He took a step closer, his towering shadow completely enveloping me. My heart skipped a beat, and I took a step back. “I only told him I have a biting urge. I didn’t mention you or what we do. Don’t worry.” His breathing grew ragged, his chest rising and falling sharply. “So all of this… is because of Mary?” The warning bell for the next period rang, cutting his words short. By the end of the day, Ross was standing by my desk before the teacher even dismissed us. Mary packed up his books at lightning speed and fled the room like his life depended on it. I followed Ross out of the school in silence. The air between us felt heavier than ever. Ross had never been a big talker, but lately, he had gone completely mute.

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