1 During the final week of summer break, I stayed at home, waiting for my parents to keep their promise of a graduation trip. They had promised to take me to the coast to make up for the family portrait they missed on my eighteenth birthday. But I waited until eight in the evening, only to see my sister’s social media update. In the photo, Dad was holding up the camera, Mom was adjusting her sunhat, and my brother Tyler was kneeling in the sand, building a sandcastle for her. Nolan, my childhood sweetheart, stood right behind her, shielding her from the ocean breeze with his jacket. The caption read: A little family escape to the coast. Family. I stared at those words, my hand trembling as the frame in my grip slipped. Inside was a family portrait I had drawn as a little girl. Five of us, holding hands. Back then, I foolishly believed that if I drew it carefully enough, I wouldn’t be left behind. When I called them, Mom’s voice sounded flustered for a second. “Nora, Zoe has been under so much pressure lately, so we took her out on a whim to clear her head.” Tyler snatched the phone, his voice dripping with annoyance. “Can you stop being such a buzzkill? It’s just a trip, it’s not like we’re abandoning you.” Nolan chimed in too. “Be good, babe. I’ll take you out by ourselves next time.” Next time. They always traded my this time for a promised next time. I looked down at the old drawing. The girl in the middle, me, was smiling like an idiot. But in reality, I didn’t even deserve to know their location. The frame shattered against the floor, glass scattering everywhere. In that moment, I finally understood. There was never any room for me in that picture anyway. … “Nora, what exactly is your problem?” On the other end of the line, Nolan’s voice carried a hint of annoyance at being interrupted. The sound of waves crashing against the shore was clear in the background, mixed with Zoe’s giggling. I squatted in front of the shattered glass, watching a bead of blood seep from my fingertip. “Nolan, what about my graduation trip?” The phone went quiet for a second. Then, my brother Tyler’s voice cut in. “Nora, can you stop being such a wet blanket every single time?” “Zoe did terribly on her high school placement exams. She’s been crying under her covers for days. What’s wrong with Mom and Dad bringing her to the beach to relax?” “You’re eighteen now. You’ve just finished high school and have nothing but free time. Can’t you show a little empathy for your sister’s stress?” I stared at the drawing sliced by the broken glass. The girl in the middle, smiling so happily, had her face completely split open. “I have free time because you told me we were going to the coast this week.” “I’ve been packing since the beginning of the month. I bought sunscreen, motion sickness pills, even Zoe’s favorite snacks.” “But when you guys left, you didn’t even knock on my door.” My voice was flat, devoid of emotion, as if I were stating a fact that had nothing to do with me. Tyler choked on his words, his tone turning even more irritated. “We left in a rush. We were afraid of waking you up, okay?” “Besides, why did you have to come anyway?” “If you came, Zoe would feel like we were playing favorites, and she wouldn’t be able to relax.” Playing favorites with me. I let out a dry laugh. During my senior year of high school, to create a quiet study environment for Zoe’s exams, I was kicked out of my room and forced to sleep in the drafty, unconditioned storage room for a whole year. When I was in middle school, to drop off and pick up Zoe from elementary school, I had to wake up an hour earlier than everyone else, riding my bike across half the city. Now, they were worried she’d think they favored me. “Mom, is Nora mad at me?” Zoe’s timid voice drifted through the receiver. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have said I wanted to see the ocean. I’ll buy a ticket back right now.” The other end of the phone instantly erupted into chaos. Mom coaxed her gently. “Zoe, sweetie, your sister isn’t mad. She’s the sensible one.” Nolan’s voice came back on the line. “Nora, did you hear that?” “Zoe is sensitive. Don’t trigger her right now.” “When we get back, I’ll bring you that seashell necklace you wanted, okay?” He was always like this, assuming that tossing me some cheap scrap of affection would make me swallow all my grievances. “No need,” I said softly. “What do you mean, no need?” Nolan frowned. “I don’t want the necklace.” Using my uninjured hand, I picked up the glass shards one by one and tossed them into the trash bin. “Have fun.” Before he could speak, I hung up. The living room fell back into a suffocating silence. The wall clock ticked away, pointing to nine in the evening. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the tap. Cold water washed over the cut on my finger, rinsing the faint red blood down the drain. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes weren’t red, and there were no tears. It turned out that when your heart completely dies, you can’t even cry. My phone buzzed on the sink. It was a notification from our family group chat, named “The Happy Family.” Mom had shared a video. In the video, Nolan was carrying Zoe on his back through the shallow water while Tyler splashed them from behind. Dad held the camera, laughing heartily. Mom sent a voice note. “Our Zoe is finally smiling. This trip was worth every penny.” No one asked if I had eaten dinner. No one remembered that today was supposed to be my college celebration dinner. I dried my hands and tapped the group settings. My finger hovered over the red button that read “Leave Group” for a brief second. Then, I pressed it. The next morning, I was awakened by a courier knocking on the door. I opened it to find a massive cardboard box. The recipient was Zoe. I dragged the box into the living room and saw the label. It was the latest model of a high-end digital piano. Zoe had wanted it for a long time, but our parents had always delayed buying it, saying it was too expensive. Looking at the box, I recalled how my three-year-old laptop had broken right before my final exams. I had begged Mom for a new one to do my research. Mom had said: “Nora, our expenses have been high lately. Just use your brother’s old hand-me-down laptop for now.” Now, a two-thousand-dollar digital piano was sitting in our living room. My phone lit up with a text from Nolan. “Nora, did Zoe’s piano arrive?” “Your parents bought it as a congratulatory gift. Unpack it and set it up in her bedroom.” “She’ll be thrilled when she gets back.” I stared at the words, my fingers turning cold. Nolan knew how badly I had wanted a new laptop. He also knew that to save up for one, I had stayed up late all through senior year helping other students compile study guides. Yet, he took it for granted that I should assemble this expensive gift for Zoe. I didn’t reply. I tossed the phone onto the sofa. I walked into my room and pulled out a twenty-four-inch suitcase. I began clearing out my room. In the closet, most of the clothes were faded from washing or cheap clearance items Mom had bought. I pulled them all out and stuffed them into heavy-duty black trash bags. In my desk drawer, there was a crafted wooden keepsake box. It was filled with things Nolan had given me over the years: the first plush toy he won for me, the study notes he stayed up all night writing for me in middle school, and a note he wrote in high school. “When Nora turns eighteen, I’ll take her to see the ocean.” I pulled out that note, staring at the slightly faded ink. Then, gripping the edges, I tore it to shreds. Along with the wooden box, I threw it all into the trash. Around noon, Nolan called. I answered and put it on speakerphone, continuing to clear my bookshelf. “Nora, did you check your phone?” His tone carried a hint of irritation. “Is the piano set up?” “No.” I tied a stack of old textbooks with some twine. “Why not?” Nolan’s voice dropped. “Are you still throwing a tantrum over yesterday?” “Nora, can you not be so petty? Zoe is your sister. You can’t even do this small thing for her?” I stood up, looking at the half-empty bookshelf. “It’s too heavy. I can’t lift it.” The other end went quiet. Nolan didn’t seem to expect such a flat, indifferent response. He let out a sigh, softening his voice slightly. “If it’s too heavy, why didn’t you ask the neighbors for help?” “By the way, go to my room, open the left drawer of my desk, and take a photo of the blue folder inside. I need it for an assignment.” He was always like this, completely used to ordering me around. “I’m not home,” I said calmly. “Where did you go?” His voice grew guarded. “Out.” “Nora!” He lost his patience entirely. “Why are you acting so selfish lately? You hesitate over every little favor.” “Do you think because you got into Silverlake University, you can suddenly walk all over everyone in this house?” Silverlake University. That was the college my parents forced me to apply to. Because it was close to home, making it convenient for me to continue taking care of Zoe while she was in high school. I looked down at the college admission guide in my hand. “I don’t think that.” “Then go home and take the photo!” Nolan ordered. “I’m hanging up. Zoe is calling me for seafood.” The line went dead again. I slipped my phone into my pocket, grabbed the trash bags, and walked out. The sun outside was blinding. I threw the trash into the bin downstairs and walked straight out of the neighborhood to a local secondhand shop. I sold my old tablet and several cherished art books. I got a hundred and fifty dollars. That money, combined with what I had saved up, was just enough for a train ticket three thousand miles away. For the next three days, my family was still enjoying their getaway. They seemed to have forgotten I existed entirely. My name never appeared in the family group chat, and I enjoyed the peace. I cleared my room of everything that belonged to me. What could be sold was sold, and what couldn’t was thrown away. In the end, only a single suitcase and a backpack remained. The room was completely bare. Even the sheets were washed, folded, and stacked neatly at the foot of the bed. It looked as if a girl named Nora had never lived there. On the afternoon of the fourth day, my college acceptance letter arrived. After signing for the package, I sat on the bare mattress and opened the envelope. On the deep blue cover, gold letters gleamed: Cascade University. This was the college I had secretly changed my application to, behind everyone’s back. Cascade was in the far north, three thousand miles away. No familiar faces, no biased parents. And no Nolan. I ran my fingers over my name on the letter, and for the first time in days, a smile touched my lips. Suddenly, my phone rang. My mother’s name flashed on the screen. I let it ring almost to the end before answering. “Nora, why did it take you so long to pick up?” Mom’s voice sounded cheerful. “I was sleeping.” “Sleeping in the middle of the day?” Mom grumbled before getting straight to the point. “By the way, didn’t you say you saved up three hundred dollars from your part-time job?” “Transfer it to my account.” My grip on the acceptance letter tightened. “Why do you need my money?” “Zoe wants a pearl necklace. It’s over five hundred dollars, and your dad and I didn’t bring enough cash.” “You’re starting at Silverlake soon anyway. You’ll be living and eating at home, so you won’t need money.” “Give it to us as a gift for your sister’s placement exams.” Her tone was matter-of-fact, leaving absolutely no room for discussion. I looked out the window at the blazing southern sun. “I spent it,” I said flatly. “Spent it?” Mom’s voice shrieked. “You stay at home all day, what could you possibly spend it on? Are you doing this on purpose?” “Nora, how did I raise such an ungrateful child?” “Your sister calls you ‘sis’ all day long, and you can’t even spare this bit of money for her?” My brother Tyler piped up in the background. “Mom, why bother arguing with her? She’s just jealous of Zoe.” “When we get back, cut off her college allowance. Let’s see if she still dares to hide money from us.” Listening to their accusations, I felt absolutely nothing. If this had been before, my eyes would have welled with tears as I tried to prove I wasn’t jealous, that I was their daughter too. But now, I just found it noisy. “I bought something,” I interrupted Mom’s tirade. “Bought what?” “A ticket.” Mom paused. “A ticket? What ticket?” “Nothing,” I replied, having no intention of explaining. Nolan’s voice came from nearby, as he took the phone from her. “Nora, cut it out.” “Your mom is only asking for a little cash. Who are you being passive-aggressive with?” “If you’re really that broke, I’ll give you the three hundred dollars back when we return, okay?” “Stop acting like the whole family is ganging up on you.” Ganging up. In their eyes, stripping me of everything to feed Zoe wasn’t bullying. My refusal to cooperate was the actual tantrum. “Okay,” I murmured. Nolan didn’t seem to expect me to agree so quickly, and his tone softened. “That’s more like it. We’re flying back tomorrow afternoon.” “Clean up the house. Zoe is exhausted and needs to rest when she gets back.” “And remember to set up the piano.” I looked at my empty bedroom. “Okay.” I hung up. I carefully packed the Cascade University acceptance letter into my backpack. Then, I raised the handle of my suitcase. The day of my departure was overcast. I dragged my suitcase to the door and took one last look at the home where I had lived for eighteen years. On the coffee table lay the last thing I had left behind. The torn family portrait, taped back together with clear tape. Beside it lay my house keys. I pulled the door shut, listening to the solid click of the lock. Without looking back, I walked toward the elevator. … At five in the afternoon, a taxi pulled up outside the building. Tyler was carrying bags of local souvenirs, while Mom held Zoe’s hand. Nolan walked behind them, holding a shopping bag containing a bracelet he had lazily picked up from the airport duty-free shop. “That ungrateful girl. She knew we were coming back today and didn’t even come down to help,” Mom complained as they walked. “Mom, you know how Nora is,” Zoe said, clinging to Mom’s arm. “She’s definitely still mad at us.” “She wouldn’t dare!” Tyler scoffed. “If she gives us attitude today, I’ll throw her out myself.” Nolan remained silent, but his brow was furrowed. For some reason, he had felt uneasy all day. At the door, Tyler pulled out his keys. “Nora, we’re back! Come grab these bags!” Tyler yelled into the apartment out of habit. The apartment was dead silent. There was no response. “Is she hiding in her room pretending to be deaf again?” Mom slipped off her shoes and angrily marched to my room, pushing the door open. “Nora, you—” Her voice cut off. Mom froze, her shopping bag slipping from her fingers and hitting the floor. “Mom, what is it?” Tyler walked over, following her gaze into the room. He froze too. The room was completely bare. No clothes, no books, no laptop. Even the sheets had been stripped, leaving only a blank mattress. There wasn’t even a trace of life in the air. Nolan shoved Tyler aside and ran into the room. He pulled open the closet. Empty. He yanked open the drawers. Empty. He spun around and ran to the living room, his eyes scanning the coffee table. There lay a set of keys and the taped-up family portrait. Nolan’s breathing turned shallow and rapid. He pulled out his phone, his fingers trembling as he dialed my number. It rang for a long time before it was picked up. In the background, the noisy PA system of a train station echoed: “Attention passengers, train K128 bound for Cascade is now boarding…”
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