I lost five years of memories. When I woke up, I discovered that Ethan Sinclair, my longtime crush, had become my husband. But he wasn’t good to me at all. All his tenderness was reserved for his childhood sweetheart. Even when my life was in danger, he only cared about being with her. Everyone said I was madly in love with him; that even if Ethan made me serve his sweetheart hand and foot, I would do so without hesitation. Ridiculous. I didn’t remember this person at all. I didn’t remember Ethan. He wasn’t good to me, so I naturally suggested divorce. But later, he lingered outside my door late at night, refusing to leave for a long time. “Aria, can you… look at me one more time?” “Mrs. Sinclair attempted suicide!” I woke up to a blinding white light. Before I could fully process my surroundings, a sharp pain shot through my wrist. As I started to come to my senses, I heard an urgent male voice nearby. I saw a man with his back to me, speaking on the phone: “Mr. Sinclair, your wife is in the hospital. Would you like to come see her?” A cold voice came through the phone: “Is she dead? If not, don’t bother me!” The call ended abruptly. The man sighed heavily and turned around, startled to see me awake. After a moment, he approached me. “Mrs. Sinclair, you’re awake?” “…Mrs. Sinclair?” I looked at him in confusion. “Are you talking to me?” “You don’t recognize me?” The man’s expression changed. “I’m Zack, Mr. Sinclair’s assistant.” “…Who’s Mr. Sinclair?” Zack frowned, his patience clearly wearing thin. “Mrs. Sinclair, Mr. Sinclair is very busy with work right now. Your suicide attempt won’t get his attention, and pretending to have amnesia certainly won’t either! Give it up – he’s not coming to see you!” I was even more bewildered, not understanding what he was talking about. Seeing my silence, Zack took another step forward and continued in an exasperated tone: “Mrs. Sinclair, you’ve been married to Mr. Sinclair for five years and causing trouble for just as long. He still hasn’t fallen in love with you. Don’t you think it’s time for some self-reflection instead of constantly creating problems for him?” Although I still didn’t know what was happening, his attitude made me very uncomfortable. Looking at his face, I felt an inexplicable aversion. Wait a minute… “Did you say… five years?” I rushed to the bathroom attached to the hospital room and looked in the mirror. It was still unmistakably me, but I looked more mature, with a hint of sorrow I couldn’t quite place. Could what that man Zack said be true? Was it really five years later? Am I actually married? … As it turned out, I really was married. And had been for five years. I hadn’t time traveled or been dreaming – I had lost my memory. My current memories were still those of my 18-year-old self, just starting college. Back then, I had a crush on a senior named Ethan Sinclair. He was the epitome of perfection – looks, family background, abilities, all unparalleled. The quintessential ice prince. And now, apparently, I was married to him. According to Zack, I had married Ethan when I was 20, in a whirlwind romance with little foundation. I was still in college then, so we only registered the marriage without a ceremony. After getting married, I discovered Ethan’s heart wasn’t with me, but seemed closer to his childhood friend Olivia James. Apparently she was his unattainable first love. Unloved, I started acting out in our marriage. I used all sorts of outrageous methods to get Ethan’s attention, but only earned his increasing disgust. His friends all treated me like a joke, just waiting to see when we’d get divorced. Olivia never took me seriously either. She was the princess of their social circle. My hysterical antics just made me look like a clown in their eyes. Finally, I used suicide to threaten Ethan, demanding he cut off all contact with Olivia. But he didn’t agree. He even told me to go ahead and die. So I attempted suicide. That’s what happened right before I woke up – It all seemed so surreal to me. Suicide for love? That didn’t seem like something I’d ever do! By the time I pieced this all together, I was already in the master bedroom of our marital home. The doctor said I was fine, so Zack had brought me straight back, warning me not to cause any more trouble before he left. Looking at the massive mansion before me, I no longer had any desire to make a scene. I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer opulence. Just the walk-in closet alone was bigger than my old apartment! As I was taking in the grandeur of mine and Ethan’s bedroom, I heard movement at the door. I whipped around to find myself face-to-face with Ethan Sinclair, his expression cold and stern.
Even though I knew Ethan and I had been married for five years, this was still the first time I’d seen him up close from my perspective. I had to admit, there was a reason he’d been my teenage crush. Just having that face in front of me improved my mood considerably. Even with his cold expression, I didn’t find him particularly off-putting. Seeing that I didn’t speak, he frowned slightly. “Aria, what are you up to now?” As he spoke, he strode into the closet, passing right by me without pausing. He selected a robe and came back out. I turned to look at him. “Up to?” From the time he suddenly came home until now, I hadn’t said a word. How was I up to something? Ethan’s dark eyes glanced at me. “Haven’t you always thrown yourself at me the moment I get home? Changing tactics now?” I was a bit shocked. Had I really been so forward after marrying Ethan? But I kept my face neutral, only saying flatly, “Oh, that won’t happen anymore.” I had expected Ethan to be relieved. But instead, his brow furrowed even more, his tone growing increasingly impatient as he looked at me. “I’ve been very busy with work lately. I don’t have time to indulge your dramatics.” I stayed silent. Seeing this, Ethan’s gaze suddenly turned cold. “Aria, stop trying to do anything to Olivia. She hasn’t done anything wrong. Even if you threaten suicide again, it won’t work.” I was taken aback, my emotions complicated. Zack had already told me most of what had happened between Ethan and me. Basically, I loved Ethan, Ethan loved Olivia, and I was the clown in this love triangle who could only constantly cause trouble for Olivia, earning more and more of Ethan’s disgust. This suicide attempt was because I was jealous of how Ethan doted on Olivia, so I privately attacked Olivia’s company and slandered their artists. But Ethan unhesitatingly chose to support her – This undoubtedly told everyone in their circle that my position as Mrs. Sinclair was in name only. I didn’t even rank as high as Olivia’s pinky finger in Ethan’s heart. So I lost my composure and tried to use suicide to win back Ethan’s heart. The result was predictable. A man who was already tired of me wouldn’t suddenly cherish me because of a suicide attempt. He’d only find me more troublesome. Seeing I still wasn’t speaking, Ethan lost patience and went to the bathroom. I let out a sigh of relief, flopping onto the large bed, my mind in chaos. After all, I’d lost the memories of these past few years. I truly didn’t understand why I would have gone so crazy. My 18-year-old self had always looked down on people who lost themselves in relationships. Now I had apparently become the very thing I despised, ready to die for a man. I never imagined I’d see such a day! I was lost in thought, not yet sure how to handle my current situation, when the blanket beside me was lifted and a tall, firm body lay down next to me. The sudden warmth startled me. I turned my head to see Ethan looking at me with those pitch-black eyes, his usual cold indifference now tinged with a hint of suppressed intensity. I stammered, “W-what are you doing?” Though I had lost my memories, based on what I knew, Ethan and I should have a pretty bad relationship, right? We were probably even sleeping in separate beds. So why was he so naturally lying down next to me? Ethan seemed not to notice my panic. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his embrace without a word. Then he pressed me beneath him, his calloused fingers expertly finding my most sensitive spots, igniting unfamiliar sensations— “Ethan!” I couldn’t help crying out his name. “Don’t touch me!”
My eyes must have shown real resistance, not just an act, because Ethan paused for a moment, looking confused. But irritation quickly took over. “Aria, stop throwing a tantrum.” I didn’t like how he always used that tone with me. Even his face that I’d crushed on for years was starting to lose its appeal. “I’m your wife, right? I attempt suicide and end up in the hospital, but you don’t even ask if I’m okay. Now you’re just criticizing me. Ethan, what gives you the right to treat me like this?” My anger seemed to ignite his own. He gripped my wrist tightly, his tone icy. “Because you brought this all on yourself.” His grip was too strong, right on the wound from my suicide attempt. I winced in pain but held back any sound. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I saw my own pitiful reflection in Ethan’s gaze, on the verge of crying. Ethan suddenly let go, turning me away from him and holding me from behind. His voice was cold: “I’ll let it go this time, but don’t ever fake a suicide attempt to threaten me again.” I struggled a bit, but Ethan held me even tighter, clearly not wanting to let me argue. The difference in our strength was too great. After a few futile attempts to break free, I gave up. When I woke up the next morning, Ethan was already gone. I threw on some clothes and went downstairs to find him already eating breakfast at the table. The housekeeper greeted me. “Good morning, Miss Aria.” I stood there motionless. Ethan didn’t even look up. “Come eat breakfast.” Though it was just breakfast, the spread was impressive enough to make me gape. I couldn’t help thinking, no wonder they call it high society. Even breakfast is such a production. I sat down across from Ethan. The housekeeper brought me a bowl of sago pudding. Smelling mango, I frowned. “Why is there mango?” The housekeeper explained: “This is Miss Olivia’s special recipe, sent over by her. It’s her favorite, made with mangoes flown in from Europe…” I immediately lost my appetite. “I’m not eating.” The clinking of silver utensils on porcelain rang out. Ethan looked up at me, his voice cool. “Aria, that’s enough.” I held back my anger. “Is not eating mango offensive to you too?” “You’re not eating it just because Olivia sent it, right?” Ethan’s face was cold. “Aria, when will you rein in your jealousy?” Me? I’m jealous of Olivia? I don’t know how the 25-year-old Aria acted in front of Ethan, but I imagine it was a pitiful, petty image. But no matter what, we’re husband and wife. Does he not even know I’m allergic to mango? I was about to speak when the housekeeper suddenly said: “Sir, Miss Olivia is here!” A gentle voice rang out: “Ethan, am I interrupting?” A slender figure walked in from the doorway. The housekeeper and maids all greeted her familiarly. It was clear she was a frequent visitor. One glance and I knew this woman was Olivia. I noticed how the housekeeper addressed us. I was the lawful Mrs. Sinclair, yet he called me “Miss Aria,” while calling her “Miss Olivia.” The difference in closeness was obvious. No wonder the 25-year-old me was so hostile towards Olivia. As Ethan’s lawfully wedded wife, I still couldn’t compare to his blatant favoritism towards another woman. Anyone’s mental state would crumble. Olivia looked at me with concern. “Aria, I heard you cut your wrists… Are you alright now?” I snorted dismissively, not bothering to be polite. I don’t know how the 25-year-old me acted in front of them. Perhaps very meekly, perhaps willing to swallow my pride because I loved Ethan so much— But right now, I’m the 18-year-old me. I don’t love Ethan at all. So I have no reason to hold my tongue. Olivia turned to Ethan, looking troubled. “Ethan, I’m sorry. Aria doesn’t seem to want to see me. Maybe I shouldn’t have come…” “You knew that and still came?” I said bluntly. “Did you come to gloat?” Olivia’s face instantly flushed red. Ethan coldly rebuked me, “Aria, stop being unreasonable.” He was clearly defending Olivia. My impression of him sank even further. Originally, waking up to find I was married to my crush had made me a bit excited and grateful— But now I see, Ethan isn’t all that great. So what if he’s handsome and rich? Treating his own wife like dirt doesn’t make him look good. If he’s so great, why did he marry me in the first place? I was indignant, but Olivia remained gracious and calm. “Ethan, the reason I came today was to specially invite you to my celebration party…” As she finished speaking, she seemed to suddenly remember I was standing right there. She couldn’t very well not invite me, so she reluctantly said to me: “Aria, why don’t you come too?” I had originally planned to refuse. But seeing the barely concealed disdain and challenge in Olivia’s eyes, I suddenly smirked and agreed. “Sure, I am Mrs. Sinclair after all. I should accompany Ethan to social events.”
So I ended up going with Ethan to Olivia’s celebration party. When the three of us arrived, the reactions of the people in the private room were quite colorful. “Why did Ethan bring her?” “Not surprising. His wife is always making scenes and acting jealous. She’s hostile towards any woman near Ethan, let alone Olivia!” “I heard she even attempted suicide because of Olivia?” “That’s right! But she really doesn’t know her place. Marrying Ethan was already aiming too high for her. What right does she have to control him? Those other women were one thing, but Olivia? She’s not even in the same league!” These voices weren’t particularly quiet. I could hear them clearly. I swept my gaze over the group, guessing they were probably Ethan or Olivia’s friends. They were all part of the same social circle, no doubt. I inwardly scoffed. No wonder the 25-year-old me had attempted suicide. Hearing such belittling comments day after day, how could my psyche not become warped? Not to mention, I must have really loved Ethan back then. That’s why I suffered through the daily torment to the point of being willing to give up my own life. Ethan and Olivia had already sat down in the seats reserved for them. I was the only one left standing. “Is she just going to stand there by herself? Isn’t that awkward?” “How could it be awkward? As long as she gets to be near Ethan, she’d probably even kneel if you asked her to!” I coldly looked at the man gossiping. “He’s not dead, why would I kneel for him?” The man’s expression changed, clearly not expecting me to talk back today. Ethan’s expression was impatient. “Alright, that’s enough.” I had just been insulted like that, but not only did he not stand up for me, he just brushed it off equally. I sneered. “Looks like I’m not welcome here. I’ll take my leave.” With that, I turned to leave. Behind me, I heard those people’s sharp intakes of breath: “Did I see that right? She actually gave Ethan attitude!” “You don’t think she really went crazy because of Olivia, do you?” “I bet she won’t last half an hour before coming crawling back…” “…” Those noisy voices behind me were very off-putting. I went to the outdoor pool area to clear my head. Not long after, Olivia suddenly came out. “Aria, you’ve really surprised me.” I glanced behind her, seeing she had come alone. I said mockingly, “I hate you so much. Aren’t you afraid I might push you into the pool?” Olivia laughed. “I was hoping you’d dare. After all, everyone knows Ethan would save me.” I pressed my lips together, not bothering to respond. Olivia walked closer. “Aria, want to make a bet?” I found it strange. “If you two really love each other that much, why not just have Ethan divorce me? Olivia, do you really need to step on someone else’s sincere feelings to act out your little drama? Is that what you call true love?” Olivia’s expression changed for a moment before quickly returning to her calm, gentle demeanor. “That’s because you won’t let go! You cling to Ethan so desperately you’d even attempt suicide. He’s just taking pity on you!” Soon, she regained her composure and asked again, “Aria, dare to bet?” The pool’s surface sparkled, looking clear but actually quite deep. I shook my head firmly. “No.” I can’t swim. One stupid suicide attempt was enough. No need for a second. I had just stood up when I caught Olivia’s disappointed gaze. She was standing behind me and suddenly pushed me hard— Splash! Screams erupted all around as my body hit the water and quickly sank. In that moment, I couldn’t feel anything. Only the terrifying sensation of water engulfing me from all sides. My throat started choking on water, my lungs growing heavy. I desperately struggled to swim upwards, but only saw a familiar figure quickly swimming in another direction. My husband, Ethan Sinclair, swam towards her when Olivia and I both fell in the water. My heart was pierced by a sharp pain. This was perhaps the last bit of feeling left from my 25-year-old self… Although I had forgotten the past and no longer loved him, my body’s instincts remained. But this time, they were thoroughly drowned too. … When I came to, I was lying by the pool. Olivia and I had both been rescued, but she was saved by Ethan while I was saved by a stranger. He was quite handsome. I lay on the ground as he pressed on my chest, trying to expel the water I had swallowed. I coughed it all out— From the corner of my eye, I saw Ethan walking over. Olivia was still clinging to him pitifully, reluctantly watching him leave. Ethan seemed to have only just remembered he had a wife. He frowned and asked, “Are you alright?” I didn’t answer, struggling to stand up. The man beside me tried to help me up, but I pushed him away. When Ethan reached me, I raised my hand and slapped him hard across the face— A deathly silence fell over the scene. I could even hear everyone’s deliberately slowed breathing. “Ethan Sinclair, let’s get divorced.” After a long moment, I heard my own voice in the silence. “Consider that slap your alimony payment to your ex-wife.” [Cutoff point]
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