The day my wife Emily went to fulfill a ten-year promise with her high school sweetheart, I left a divorce agreement and walked away. Before leaving, I commented on their photo together on social media: “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. I’m stepping aside to make room for you two.” A minute later, Emily called. “Jack, we’re just fulfilling an old promise. Why are you being so selfish?” I laughed coldly and replied, “I don’t care about you anymore. There’s no need to explain anything to me.” But she became frantic. The day Emily went to fulfill a ten-year promise with Nathan, I left a divorce agreement and walked away. Before leaving, I commented on their photo together on social media: “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. I’m stepping aside to make room for you two.” A minute later, Emily called. “Jack, we’re just fulfilling an old promise. Why are you being so selfish?” I laughed coldly and replied, “I don’t care about you anymore. There’s no need to explain anything to me.” Emily was at a loss for words. Just as she was about to say something, I hung up with a loud click. I could guess what she wanted to say – probably accusing me of making a fuss over nothing, insisting that she and Nathan were just old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. Hah, friends. More like friends who shared a bed. Emily had never been patient with me. Seeing that I dared to hang up on her, she immediately sent me a question mark. I slowly typed back, “Emily, find time to sign the papers and finalize the divorce. Then you can be with Nathan forever.” I don’t know if Emily truly didn’t want a divorce, or if she was just angry that I was the one to bring it up first. She sent me a long string of insults, ending with the declaration that she would absolutely never divorce me, and that I should give up on the idea. In the past, if Emily had said she would never divorce me, I would have been over the moon. Now it just made me sick. How could someone be like this – refusing to let me go while secretly fooling around with an ex? Seven years. I thought even a rock would have warmed up by now. But I learned that some people’s hearts are harder than stone.
Emily and I fell in love in college. We survived the “graduation breakup” curse and eventually got married. Seven years have passed since then. We worked hard to build a life together in this unfamiliar city, going from renting and taking the subway to owning a home and car. For someone like me without grand ambitions, this was already the best life I could imagine. But for some reason, the happiness that once came so easily now seemed impossible to find. In college, both Emily and I had limited spending money. We were both from rural areas, and our families weren’t well off. If we wanted to buy something or pay school fees, we had to be very frugal. Saving money was important, but so was earning it. Whenever I had free time, I would work part-time jobs. Combined with the scholarships I earned each year, we managed to get by without too much hardship. Emily had a younger brother, so her allowance was even tighter than mine. Whenever Emily’s meal card ran out of money, I would add funds for her. I was terrified of her going hungry. Looking back now, I was just a pathetic fool. Near graduation, Emily fell ill. She cried and told me she didn’t know what to do. Without hesitation, I gave her my savings. But when I tried to help her contact the hospital, Emily anxiously stopped me. “Jack, I’ve had this condition since I was little. There’s an old Chinese medicine doctor back home who can treat it. It’s just that the herbs he uses are expensive…” I was naive enough to believe her flimsy excuse. Emily said she didn’t want me to worry or see her sick, so she wouldn’t let me visit her even once. After we got married, Emily told me that because of that illness, her health wasn’t good. So I let her stay at home while I went out to earn money. Even then, I didn’t let Emily do much housework. I cooked, and she just had to set the table and eat. I earned money, and as soon as I got paid each month, I transferred it to her account. Emily didn’t even need to spend time sweet-talking me, because from the beginning I felt I owed her. I thought my background wasn’t good enough, and that Emily was suffering by being with me. Over seven years, my love for her only grew more intense and irrational. And Emily came to see my devotion as something she was entitled to. But now I realize, to Emily I was just an ATM, a tool she could use. After all, how could Emily not have money for medical treatment when she had Nathan supporting her behind my back? And that year, Emily wasn’t sick at all. She went home to have a baby.
I discovered Emily’s affair with Nathan six months ago, during Chinese New Year. Because this winter was especially cold, my company gave us an early holiday. Emily and I followed our usual custom of returning to our respective hometowns for the New Year. This was Emily’s idea after we got married. Emily said the holiday travel rush was too crowded and tiring. She didn’t want me to suffer through that. As long as we sent gifts, that was enough. Plus, I was an only child and her brother was away at school. It was more filial for us to each keep our own parents company. At first I thought Emily was being considerate, so I agreed with her idea. It wasn’t until I discovered Emily’s affair with Nathan that I realized it wasn’t about going home to be filial – it was to keep me from finding out about her dirty secret. That day, Emily went home first. I followed right after her, buying a ticket for the next high-speed train to surprise her. This year I had discussed with my parents and told them I would spend New Year’s Eve at Emily’s home, then visit them after the holiday. Believe it or not, in seven years of dating I had never been to Emily’s hometown. Whenever I brought it up, she always found excuses to put it off. So this time I simply didn’t tell her I was coming. After getting off the bus, I trudged through the snowy village with my luggage, taking one careful step after another. Just as I reached the village entrance, I saw two older women in headscarves sitting on a doorstep chatting. “Can you believe the daughter from the Jiang family still hasn’t married that Sun boy, even though their kid is so big now?” “Tsk, don’t you know? Emily has a husband in the city. I heard he’s quite well-off. The Sun and Jiang families have bad blood, so even with a child the Jiangs won’t let their daughter marry into the Sun family.” “But I heard the Suns have come into money recently. The two families might reconcile for the sake of the child.” Emily? When those two words entered my ears, they set off a storm in my heart. Could they be talking about my wife Emily? By the time I came to my senses, icy snowflakes had already frozen on my eyelashes and eyebrows. I moved my stiff hands and feet, continuing towards the Jiang family home according to the address. I had never visited in all these years, but I often bought gifts for Emily’s parents. Actually, Emily’s parents had always looked down on me. They thought their daughter was beautiful and accomplished, deserving of someone better. Why did it have to be me? Emily even threatened to cut ties with them to marry me, kneeling in the rain for a whole day before they finally agreed. Because of this, I was even more devoted to Emily. Thinking back on it now, I shook my head. Yes, Emily loved me so much – how could she possibly do anything to betray me?
When I arrived at the Jiang family’s door, I could hear lively conversation inside. I was holding gifts and about to push open the gate when someone came out. It was Emily and a little boy, followed by a man. I looked closer – it was Nathan, Emily’s “good friend.” For a moment I froze in place. What was he doing here on New Year’s Eve? The sun was setting, and they hadn’t noticed me standing outside. I was debating whether to go in when Emily suddenly spoke. “Nathan, our son says he wants to build a snowman. Why don’t you play with him for a bit?” Emily’s words stopped me in my tracks. Son? I stared unblinkingly at the three of them standing close together. Only then did I realize the little boy looked eerily familiar – it was the child Nathan had posted photos with on social media. Why was Emily calling him son? Before I could react, Nathan suddenly stepped forward and pulled Emily into his arms. “What’s the rush? Won’t we have plenty of chances to play with him in the future?” “Emily, I can finally stand by your side openly now. I’m willing to wait for you to get divorced and come back to me. Our family of three can be reunited soon.” The little boy jumped up and down happily beside them, shouting loudly: “Daddy and Mommy are hugging, how embarrassing!” Hearing the child’s words, Emily blushed slightly and leaned gently against Nathan’s chest, her face full of tenderness. “Nathan, I’ve missed you too. If it weren’t for my parents’ opposition back then, how could I have separated from you?” “Even our son – I can only come back occasionally to see him. I feel so guilty.” Emily sighed. “Back then you gave me money for college, but I ended up marrying Jack. Nathan, I’ll make up for all the time I’ve wasted in the future.” Emily’s voice was as gentle as ever, and her words were clear and articulate. But why couldn’t I understand when they were put together? It felt like someone had taken a knife and carved open my chest. The pain made it hard to breathe. I realized that my eager journey to surprise Emily had turned me into a fool in an instant. I don’t remember how I left that night. I only recall that the fireworks were bright, and the journey back was very cold. I checked into a random hotel in town and started to process everything that had happened that day. I knew Nathan. The first time I learned about him was from Emily’s phone. That time she told me she was going to a high school reunion, and Nathan would be there. She even openly told me about him and had us add each other as contacts. It was precisely because of Emily’s frank attitude that I never suspected anything. But now that I think about it, what great acting. I opened Nathan’s social media and saw he had posted many photos with the child, occasionally showing glimpses of the mother’s clothing or shadow. The most recent post was of their family reunion dinner that night. Nathan said he had finally gained his mother-in-law’s approval. After learning about his relationship with Emily, looking at these photos made me feel increasingly ridiculous. Here was a family of three secretly flaunting their happiness, while I stupidly wished them well like an idiot. The instant noodles in my bowl had congealed into a lump. I took two big bites and found them unpalatable. In college, to buy gifts for Emily, I had lived frugally. Even instant noodles seemed like a luxury then. On the rare occasions I ate them, they tasted amazing. But now, taking another bite, they were just salty and disgusting. The next day, I woke up early. My mind was in chaos. I didn’t know whether to leave or confront Emily directly. Actually, even now I didn’t know what I was still hoping for. I had witnessed Emily and Nathan’s intimate scene with my own eyes, but I still clung to one last shred of delusion.
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