I was five months pregnant when I found out I was carrying a child that belonged to Nolan and his true love. Back then, my father had groomed two childhood friends as potential suitors for me. I bypassed the one he favored and chose Nolan, who seemed uninterested and unambitious. Then one day, as my pregnancy progressed, I overheard a conversation between Nolan and his beloved: “Adeline’s uterine wall is thin, and she risks a miscarriage at any time.” “Nolan, are you really willing to let her risk her life to carry our child?” Nolan remained unmoved. “I’ll compensate Adeline later, but right now, your uterine cancer is the priority.” “Even if it means risking Adeline’s health, I want you to have a child that’s ours.” “You’ve suffered enough. I don’t want you to have any regrets.” “Besides, Adeline only bears 80% of the risk; there’s a 20% chance everything will be fine. Just endure the next five months.” I wiped away my tears and dialed a number I hadn’t called in years. “If I say I regret it, would you still want me?” …
I stood outside the door, feeling like I’d been struck by lightning, cold to the bone. On the other side, a woman’s screams rang out, then gradually subsided. Phoebe’s voice was still laced with seduction: “You didn’t touch her, did you? You promised me, in these last days, you’re mine alone, only crazy for me!” Nolan let out a satisfied laugh. “Such a little temptress, who was just begging for mercy?” Before I could make sense of it, the door opened before me. Nolan’s hair was disheveled, and there was a faint lipstick mark on his collarbone. The man standing before me carried a distinct scent. Nausea hit me hard, my stomach churning with morning sickness. Nolan, still looking pleased, was visibly startled to see me. His expression turned awkward as he noticed my pale face. In a voice still husky with desire, he asked cautiously: “Adeline? How long have you been standing there?” His Adam’s apple bobbed—a sign of his unease. I dug my fingers into my palm, forcing a strained smile. “I was just about to knock.” My throat tightened, and I looked away to control my trembling. “Nolan, I came to ask where you put my calcium tablets. Are you meeting with a guest?” Now was not the time for confrontation. Nolan visibly relaxed, clearing his throat. Before he could answer, Phoebe peeked out from behind him, playfully sticking out her tongue: “Adeline, I have some here.” She pulled out a bottle of calcium tablets, giggling as she handed it to me. “Nolan knows I hate drinking milk, so he’s been stuffing my bag with these since we were kids.” She stomped her foot happily: “He’s so annoying! The house is full of them, and I can’t finish them.” Phoebe, the daughter of Nolan’s family maid, grew up with him. Seeing the familiar pink bottle, I was at a loss. Nolan had once leaned against my belly, proudly handing me this bottle. “I had these calcium tablets specially made for you. Be sure to take them.” He’d said they were precious, only one bottle a month. I chuckled to myself. Inside, I felt barren. What moved me was merely someone else’s leftover. Seeing I didn’t take it, Nolan looked displeased. “What’s your problem now? Who are you giving attitude to?” “Am I giving you too much leeway? You’re making things hard for Phoebe.” In public, Nolan was always accommodating to me, but I was never to upset Phoebe. I used to think it was childhood friendship. Now, I realize I was naive. Five years of marriage, and my husband had his heart elsewhere. Five months pregnant, I was just a vessel. The illusion of happiness from a minute ago was now ashes. I looked at the man before me, who was clearly biased, feeling only disappointment. I gently caressed my slightly swollen belly, speaking in a low voice: “Nolan, it really hurts.” My shoulders shook, tears rolling uncontrollably. “It hurts so much.” Maybe my face looked really bad. Nolan’s dissatisfaction faded, replaced by nervousness. He warmed his hands, cautiously placing them on my belly. I felt no warmth from his palm. A wave of sorrow engulfed me, leaving me sobbing and breathless. Nolan, helpless, helped me sit down, wiping my tears with concern. He squatted in front of me, looking up: “Is it hurting badly?” My tears fell like rain, and I choked out: “Nolan, the doctor said my eggs weren’t good. How did I get pregnant with IVF this time?” For a child of ours, I’d been to the hospital countless times, my hands covered in needle marks. Hormone pills were my meals, and my hair fell out in clumps. The large egg retrieval needle made my whole body tremble with pain. Now I’m told this hard-won embryo is my husband’s and someone else’s.
Even if he could just tell me the whole truth right now… Nolan’s expression stiffened, panic flashed in his eyes, but he quickly regained composure. “Don’t overthink it, maybe heaven saw our sincerity.” The faint hope was snuffed out. I lowered my gaze, hiding my turbulent emotions. The life inside me seemed to empathize, contracting suddenly. I placed a hand on my belly, feeling a stab of pain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red string on Phoebe’s hand. My gaze lingered; it was what I had prayed for at the Blue Mountain Temple, wishing for Nolan’s safety. Inside, woven with strands of my own hair. Sincerity? More like a joke. Neither of them noticed my change. Nolan handed me a glass of water, intending to feed me, a faint hint of guilt in his eyes. I shook my head, taking it and drinking it all in one go. Steeling myself, I took out my phone and messaged someone, scheduling a surgery. Nolan, feeling inexplicably uneasy, leaned over to look. “Adeline, who are you messaging?” His tone was displeased, tinged with jealousy. After confirming the surgery time, I turned off the screen emotionlessly. “Work stuff.” When Nolan asked, I didn’t miss the malice in Phoebe’s eyes. His unease grew, but Phoebe interrupted, clinging to his arm provocatively. “Nolan, you promised to take me for wedding photos today.” I ignored her. Compared to the child not being mine, nothing else mattered. Nolan licked his dry lips, awkwardly explaining. “Phoebe’s just childish, she wants to take some bridal photos and dragged me to be the groom for fun.” “Don’t mind it.” So the wedding photos were just a casual photo shoot. In five years of marriage with Nolan, we never even had wedding photos, just the one on our marriage certificate. My heart shattered, settling into silence. I gave a faint, indifferent smile, brushing away his hand on my belly. “If you promised her, go ahead.” Nolan sensed something was off, opened his mouth to explain more, but Phoebe tugged him away. He hurried out, reminding me: “Adeline, remember to take the calcium tablets Phoebe gave you. I’ll be back after the photos.” Once they left, I went straight to the hospital. Lying on the operating table, I felt a slight movement in my belly. Sorrow overwhelmed me instantly. I stared at the ceiling, letting tears soak into my hair. “Let’s begin.” Just as the anesthesia started to take effect, my phone rang. Nolan’s apologetic voice came through. “Adeline, the flowers are gone.” With just those words, I staggered off the operating table, rushing back. But I was too late; the blue and pink field of lily of the valley was already charred black. My legs gave out, and I collapsed to the ground. Those flowers were my labor of love. I had traveled the world to find the seeds, planting them one by one on my knees. Even with a big belly, I squatted to weed, nurturing them carefully. Lily of the valley takes five years to bloom, and after five years, this was the year they finally blossomed. Before I could even rejoice, they were destroyed in the fire. I dug through the ashes, my hands trembling, finding even the seeds burned soft. Phoebe shrieked. “How are these still alive!” Her words caught my attention, and I leapt up, cradling the surviving flowers with blackened leaves. Thankfully, there was still hope for a new beginning. Phoebe’s eyes glinted with malice, and I sensed danger. Before I could react, she pretended to trip, pouring boiling water over me. Instinctively, I shielded the flowers, the scalding water cascading down my shoulder. The burn made me flinch, my skin blistering and swelling instantly. The popped blisters clung to my clothes, the friction making the pain unbearable. I looked at the intact seeds and sighed in relief. Failing once, Phoebe changed her face, ruthlessly kicking me aside. “Adeline, what’s your problem? Trying to make Nolan blame me?” She then smashed the hot kettle onto the remaining flower seeds. Lily of the valley is delicate, and the surviving seedlings were all scalded. Nolan looked at me coldly, his words full of disdain. I jerked from the burn, and the skin blistered and reddened immediately. The broken blisters stuck to my clothes, and the friction was so painful that I shuddered uncontrollably. I looked at the intact seeds below and let out a sigh of relief. But my relief was short-lived as Phoebe’s expression shifted dramatically. She kicked me aside without hesitation. “Adeline, what’s wrong with you? Are you trying to make Nolan blame me on purpose?” she snapped, then threw the kettle onto the flower seeds. The delicate lily of the valley seedlings were all withered by the scalding water. Nolan looked at me with disdain in his eyes. “Adeline, you’re about to become a mother, yet you still play these games.” “Phoebe is younger than you, and she should be calling you sister-in-law. Can’t you be a bit more accommodating?” Never have I seen a woman call someone sister-in-law while trying to steal her husband. My heart felt like it had turned to ice.
All I could see was a field of charred lily of the valley. My heart felt like it was being squeezed by a giant hand, the pain making it hard to breathe. Tears fell uncontrollably, leaving trails in the sooty mess. My research, my family, my life’s work was destroyed like trash. What did I gain in the end? I helplessly held the lifeless lilies, feeling lost. Yet I couldn’t help but think of Nolan from six years ago. He stood excitedly in the front row, catching the bouquet at his best friend’s wedding. He rushed toward me, his face alight with excitement, kneeling before me with tears of sincerity in his eyes: “Adeline, will you marry me? I’ll treat you well for a lifetime.” I was moved by his sincerity and, against my better judgment, took the bouquet. The passionate youth was something that could never be regained. The vibrant lilies from the bouquet years ago had gradually turned into the charred land before me. There’s no going back. Never going back. I covered my tears and cried softly. Phoebe was still adding fuel to the fire, arms crossed and watching like a spectator: “Adeline, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to set up an outdoor barbecue for Nolan. Who knew these flowers would catch fire so easily?” “Nolan, I’m really too clumsy.” Nolan didn’t see Phoebe’s malice, even gently coaxing her. My anger flared up, and I used all my strength to slap Phoebe hard. She was stunned, covering her face and looking at me in shock. Nolan’s eyes widened; he hadn’t expected the usually obedient and tolerant me to dare to confront Phoebe in front of him. He shoved me hard, burning with anger. “Phoebe already said it wasn’t on purpose. Why are you being unreasonable and even daring to hit her?” The force of his push made me fall to the ground, small stones embedding into my palm. He stood in front of another woman, completely forgetting who his wife was. The extreme pain turned into numbness. I no longer hoped for his return, looking at him with exhausted eyes. Nolan’s eyes flickered at my expression, a huge panic almost unstoppable inside him. But he stood there silently for a few seconds, hoarsely offering a truce: “Adeline, let it go, okay? We can plant flowers again later.” After speaking, he bent down to pull me up, but I gently shook off his hand. I shook my head, smiling bitterly. “No more. They can’t be replanted.” Just like my brave heart that once rushed towards him, it will never come back. Nolan’s Adam’s apple moved, thinking he had come up with a compromise. “I’ll have Phoebe drink three glasses of milk as an apology, okay? She’s always hated drinking milk; it’s the biggest punishment for her.” Is this a reward or a punishment? I looked at the man before me, feeling like I was seeing him for the first time. Phoebe pouted and whined. “Nolan, I don’t want to drink milk.” Nolan turned to negotiate with me. “Adeline, how about two glasses?” The scene before me was so absurd it was laughable. I couldn’t hold back and laughed like a madwoman, tears in my eyes. Pain hit me belatedly from where my back hit the stone, followed by a severe ache in my stomach. Warm liquid gushed between my legs. My face turned pale, the smile frozen. I forgot about the child’s existence, overwhelmed by panic. I clutched my stomach nervously, calling out in distress, looking at the man pleadingly. “Nolan, my child! The child!” Nolan instinctively moved to help me, but Phoebe called out and stopped him. Phoebe let out a scream, clutching her calf as she sat on the ground, tears welling up in her eyes. “Brother Nolan, I was just bitten by a snake! I’m so scared. Will I die?” Following her pointing finger, I saw a small green snake, no bigger than a thumb. It bites but is non-venomous and not deadly. Nolan gritted his teeth, glanced at me, and decisively turned to pick up Phoebe. She clung to his collar, her lips pale, deliberately acting like a victim. “Adeline, stop being childish. The doctor said a five-month fetus is stable. It’s not that fragile.” But my body wasn’t suited for pregnancy from the start. My condition is different from most. In the intense pain, I couldn’t speak, biting my lip until it bled. Cold sweat dripped down, and tears blurred my vision. The hesitation in Nolan’s eyes disappeared as he held Phoebe and looked at me coldly. “Adeline, you’ll do anything to bully Phoebe. I’ll deal with you later!” With that, he quickly got into the prepared car and left. The pain in my abdomen drained all my strength, and large beads of sweat formed on my forehead. Blood pooled beneath me. At this critical moment, my mind went blank. I only remembered the child I had carried for five months and hoped for years. Driven by a powerful will to survive, I shakily dialed a number. I felt the life inside me slipping away. The sensation of two hearts beating in unison was gone. My consciousness was blurry, but tears flowed uncontrollably. “Nolan, it really hurts,” I murmured, feeling the grip on my hand tighten suddenly. Then I fell into darkness. In my dream, I saw a petite girl in a purple dress I had embroidered. She waved at me from a field of lilies, her smile radiant. I moved beside her, crouched down, and inexplicably started to cry. A deep sorrow engulfed me. The little girl reached out, wiped my tears, kissed my face softly, and spoke gently, “Mom, don’t be sad.” Tears streamed down my face as I choked, wanting to embrace her small body, only to wake up suddenly, my arms empty. I clutched my now flat abdomen and finally broke down in tears. The man stood silently beside me for a long time, his eyes red with pain. I stayed in the hospital for a week. Nolan called countless times but never visited. On the day I was discharged, the man peeled open a candy and put it in my mouth. “Adeline, it’s all over. It won’t be bitter anymore.” The sweet grapefruit flavor exploded in my mouth, and I smiled. Sunlight filtered through my fingers, shining on my face, and I finally felt reborn.
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