I was secretly married for five years to a man known for his aloof, almost monastic discipline. After 99 failed attempts to win him over, I decided to let go. “Sis, I want to come home.” I hung up the phone. Passing by his meditation room, I heard hushed sounds. Through the crack in the door, I saw Alex. His clothes were disheveled, and his prayer beads hung loosely around his neck. One hand was discreetly hidden, the other clutching a photo of Chloe, the family’s adopted daughter. A muffled groan escaped him, and he whispered her name, his voice thick with tears. He kissed the photo with desperate reverence. It was only a month ago that I finally realized he wasn’t truly the pure, detached man he seemed. For the first few nights, I was stunned, unable to sleep. But after watching for 30 straight days, I felt nothing but numb. All his spiritual talk, his ascetic practices—they were just a smokescreen, an excuse to keep me at bay. The entire meditation room was plastered with Chloe’s photos. He was her nominal uncle, a forbidden love that could never see the light of day. So he chose me, to be his pathetic shield. 0
On the phone, Vivian, my sister, had sounded so happy: “Aubrey, you finally got it! I told you that boyfriend of yours was no good.” “Hiding for years, refusing to meet us… Sis here has a ton of great, reliable guys for you to choose from!” I murmured, “Yeah, I was wrong. Love shouldn’t be forced.” “Give me two weeks to sort things out. After that, I’ll be back home, helping you with the company.” I met Alex seven years ago at a party. In a room full of noise, he stood out like an ethereal lotus. Dressed in a high-collared white shirt, prayer beads in hand, his gaze was distant, cold, and utterly detached. My best friend, Maya, poked me, whispering, “That’s the ultimate ice king of our study abroad group. He’s been into spiritual practices since he was a kid, sworn off love, broken countless rich girls’ hearts.” “You can go for anyone else in this room, just not him. Stay far, far away.” But when Alex’s gaze swept over me, my heart hammered like a drum. My attraction to him was completely out of control. I’d always been bold, lively, and straightforward. Everyone liked me. So I didn’t believe anyone could truly be devoid of emotions. I was determined to win him over. I stuck to him every day, using every trick in the book. When he was writing, I’d climb into his lap, begging him to teach me. He’d back away, twenty feet, abandoning his paper and pen. He casually mentioned a pastry once; I scoured half the city to buy it, but he didn’t touch a bite, feeding it all to the stray dogs at school. I even lit an aphrodisiac incense, but he casually doused it with a cup of tea, saying it smelled awful. Finally, I decided to go all out. I slipped into his meditation room, wearing nothing but a loose robe. Kneeling beside him as he chanted, I whispered in his ear, “It’s so cold, Master. Please hold me.” He turned and left. The next day, he sent me a dozen down jackets, telling me not to wear inappropriate clothes and disrespect the divine. Maya poked my forehead, calling me pathetic. But I argued back, righteous, that she just didn’t understand how rare it was to find true love. I spent two whole years being a complete doormat, so obvious everyone knew it, but I never softened his heart, not one bit. Just as I was losing hope, wondering if I should give up, Alex suddenly took me to a church. Against the cool moonlight, he asked me: “Marry me?” “Who?” “Me.” Tears welled up instantly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, asking, “You do have feelings for me, don’t you?” He was silent for a very, very long time. So long that I looked up, confused. Finally, he said, “Yes.” Looking back now, I realize that long silence was his unspoken refusal. Five years into our marriage, Alex never once stepped into my bedroom. No matter how I tried to seduce or tease him, even if he momentarily lost his composure. He would always pull back, shutting himself inside his meditation room. A month ago, still unwilling to give up, I quietly tampered with the lock on his meditation room door. That’s how I witnessed his most hidden desires. He hadn’t sworn off love at all. He had poured all his passion into Chloe. His chanting, his prayers, his marriage to me – it was all just a facade. He was afraid of what society would say, afraid his shameful love would bring disaster to Chloe. So, was I just destined to be a sacrificial lamb for his affection? The Alex in that meditation room was a side of him I’d never seen. His eyes were red-rimmed, his expression both devout and deranged. He clutched Chloe’s photo to his chest, confessing in anguish: “Chloe, I truly love you so much.” Like a self-inflicted wound, I didn’t move. I just watched him break down and cry over another woman. This time, I was truly ready to let go. 0
I was up almost all night, preparing the documents I needed to finalize everything. At breakfast, Alex came downstairs, prayer beads in hand, back to his usual aloof, disciplined self. He walked past me, not even bothering to spare me a glance. “Alex.” He didn’t stop. I followed him, and he was just putting on his shoes. He naturally extended his arms, expecting me to help him with his jacket. When he turned his head and saw my hands were empty, he frowned. “I’ll be busy today.” His voice was tinged with annoyance. “Don’t cause trouble.” A sharp pang went through my heart. How much did he really despise me? I reached for his jacket and handed it to him. “I’m not going to the office today. I’m taking the afternoon meeting off.” Alex finally deigned to give me a look. “Something else going on?” I just hummed in response. He nodded dismissively. “Go have fun. It doesn’t matter if you come to the office or not.” I gave a self-deprecating laugh. “What if it’s not ‘fun’?” But he was already out the door. My answer wasn’t something he cared to hear. With Vivian’s connections, my relocation back home went incredibly smoothly. All that was left was to wait. It was still early, so I went straight to the office to pack up my belongings. As I was leaving, I ran into Alex and a group of his friends. Over the years, even though I hadn’t managed to charm Alex, I had gotten quite close to his circle. They practically dragged me into their gathering. When I was pushed close to Alex, he gave me a brief, indifferent glance. “So that’s your game plan.” He shifted away, casually brushing the sleeve I had touched. I was speechless. It seemed no matter what I did, he would always assume the worst. At the bar, I had just poured myself a full glass of whiskey when Leo, Alex’s assistant, quietly reminded me: “Mrs. Gray, didn’t you forget Mr. Gray hates it when women drink? You’ve been sober for years. What’s gotten into you today?” I gave a faint smile. “I’m just craving it.” The liquor slid down my throat, igniting a fire that warmed my frozen heart. Fueled by alcohol, I felt like I was finding some part of my old self again. I slipped into the dance floor with the crowd, swaying to the music. A few handsome guys approached me. I not only matched their moves but even hooked a finger under one of their chins. Maya, my best friend, who I’d called earlier, walked in just in time to see this. She gasped, rushed onto the dance floor, and dragged me out. “Aubrey Gray, are you out of your mind?! Alex is right there at the VIP table, watching!” “Dancing like that, flirting with guys—aren’t you worried he’ll give you hell when you get home?” How ridiculous. When had Alex ever given me a good look? From the VIP table behind us, a friend said to Alex, “Are the newlyweds fighting? Is Aubrey mad you won’t make your relationship public?” “Honestly, you two have been married for four or five years now. You really should give Aubrey a proper title when you go back home.” Alex took a sip of his drink. “She doesn’t care.” His words were like daggers, stabbing my heart. How could I not care? I’d forced myself to stay abroad all these years for him. My family had asked countless times who he was, but Alex never bothered, leaving me to face them alone. His friend chuckled again. “Aubrey’s got plenty of handsome guys around her. Aren’t you worried about getting cuckolded?” Alex answered casually, “She won’t.” He was so certain, I almost laughed out loud. Maybe Alex knew how much I loved him, how he thought I wouldn’t dare to cross the line. Or perhaps, he just didn’t care at all. Alex’s eyes scanned the room for something. Suddenly, he stood up. He quickly moved through the crowd, stopping in front of a girl. It was Chloe. Of course. That’s why he, who usually despised nightclubs, had agreed to this party. 0
He pulled Chloe back to the VIP table. I caught the jealousy in his eyes: “You’re too young for a place like this, and you let that man touch your hair? Why are you so careless with yourself?!” Chloe pouted. “Uncle Alex, why are you more controlling than my parents? I’m an adult, why can’t I come here?” “Anyway, you don’t even bother with me anymore, so what does it matter who I hang out with?” Alex’s face showed a rare flicker of emotion. “Your business, of course it matters to me!” Chloe looked wronged. “Then tell me, how long has it been since you came to see me?” “You used to care about me so much, but ever since you got married, you changed.” “You only have Aubrey Gray in your heart now, you’ve completely forgotten about me!” Seeing her cry, Alex visibly panicked. “No, that’s not true, how could I possibly…” He sighed, not daring to continue, but gently took out a handkerchief to wipe Chloe’s tears. He even helped her blow her nose, then casually put the handkerchief back in his pocket. It seemed his constant talk of being a germaphobe was selective. Chloe grew even more agitated. She stomped her foot, furiously pointing at me. “So what if you’re married? If it wasn’t for this woman, would you come back to me, Uncle Alex?” She grabbed a fruit knife from the table and, without a word, rushed at me, plunging the knife into my chest. The sudden pain drained all my strength. Screams and cries for help sounded distant. Before I lost consciousness, I saw Alex pulling Chloe tightly into his embrace. His lips formed the words: “Chloe, don’t be scared.” I woke up in a hospital room. “You’re awake?” A stranger, a nurse’s aide, rang the bell for me. “Next time, young lady, don’t go to nightclubs alone. It’s very dangerous.” “Luckily, the person wasn’t strong, and the knife wasn’t very sharp. But you’ll have a big scar on your chest after all those stitches.” I asked hoarsely, “Who brought me here?” The nurse’s aide blurted out, “Ms. Maya, of course. You two are good friends, aren’t you?” “She stayed by your side for a whole day and night. I finally convinced her to go rest for a bit.” And… Alex? I instinctively opened my phone. Chloe’s update popped up: “Uncle Alex was right, it doesn’t hurt when you blow on it.” She had a band-aid on her arm, and a man’s lips were restrained, hovering very close. Though only his mouth and below were visible, I easily recognized it as Alex. I swiped my finger, and a new update refreshed. “Hehe, it looks good on me too, doesn’t it?” Chloe was wearing Alex’s prayer beads on her wrist. My pupils contracted. My heart felt so sour, like I’d swallowed a truckload of lemons. I distinctly remembered: when I had tried to seduce him before, I’d accidentally brushed his prayer beads with my fingertip. Alex had been furious, forcing me to copy scriptures 100 times, burning them as punishment to the gods for my disrespect. All these years, because I loved him, I had completely turned myself into a joke. Hatred flared in my heart. I wanted them to pay. Not long after I called the police, Alex burst into my hospital room. “You called the police just to force me to see you?” I rolled my eyes. “I called the police because I was stabbed.” Alex frowned, then turned and walked out of the room. After a long moment, he returned. “I’ve already signed the settlement on your behalf. Stop making a fuss.” That’s when I realized he had gone out to intercept the police. I yelled, “How dare you!” Alex’s voice was as cold as ice. “Because I’m your husband.” “And because I have enough wealth.” I roared, “Chloe stabbed me! She deserves to be punished!” Alex was silent for a moment. “She’s still young, and she was hurt too.” I held up the photo Chloe had posted on her phone, then ripped open my hospital gown. “She has a small scratch on her hand, but my chest has eighteen stitches!” “Alex, your bias is unbelievable!” Alex lost his patience. “I already punished her. Can you just drop it?” I scoffed, “Punish her for what? Copying the Great Compassion Mantra once?” Alex’s expression flickered. I hadn’t expected to guess right. It was absolutely laughable! I laughed until tears streamed down my face, my voice filled with desolate helplessness. “Alex, you don’t love me. Why did you marry me?!” “You clearly hate me so much…” Alex looked up. “When did I ever hate you?” Seeing me trembling with agitation, he sighed and said, “Alright, when you’re discharged, I’ll agree to let you have my child. Happy now?” I froze. “What did you say?” Alex continued, “However, it can only be through IVF…” I completely broke down, slamming my phone onto him. “Get out!” 0
Alex didn’t leave. Instead, he stayed, saying he wanted to take care of me. It was the first time he’d ever softened, claiming he meant well but messed up, even buying a cake to apologize. If this had happened before, I don’t know how ecstatic I would have been. I would have said it was fine, and even taken some blame myself. I had loved him so humbly, I’d forgotten who I truly was. But now, I was awake. Whatever he did, my heart felt nothing. Perhaps the pain had been too intense before, making it easy to let go now. When I was discharged and returned home, I found Chloe sprawled on the couch, playing on her phone. Hearing us enter, she sprang up and threw herself into Alex’s arms. Her long legs wrapped around his waist, and her arms hooked his neck as she whined, “Uncle Alex, you’re finally home! I missed you so much.” Alex’s eyes softened. “Still acting like a child at your age.” Yet, his hands were firmly supporting Chloe’s thighs, with no intention of letting go. I walked past them expressionlessly. Only then did Alex put Chloe down. He whispered something softly to her. Chloe turned to me as I was heading upstairs. “Auntie, I’m sorry about the other day.” It was a perfunctory apology, but Alex seemed satisfied. He patted her head and said to me, “Chloe will be moving in with us.” “She’s old enough now, and it’s not safe for her to be out alone.” What wasn’t safe about a college dorm? He was just jealous that day and wanted to keep Chloe under his watchful eye. But I had no intention of exposing his twisted thoughts. I was leaving soon anyway; I didn’t want any more complications. But Chloe wasn’t quiet. She paraded around the house every day in tank tops and hot pants. Alex tried to endure it, but his eyes would inevitably latch onto her. The difference between love and not love was so obvious. As soon as Chloe beckoned, the aloof “monk” would immediately fall to earth, experiencing human joys and sorrows. One night, after Chloe had too much to drink, Alex dragged her home from a club. I was woken by the noise and went to the kitchen for water. That’s when I saw them, tightly embracing at the end of the hallway. Chloe was hazy with intoxication, calling Alex’s name: “Alex, don’t ignore me. Chloe’s been a good girl, hold me…” Her hands cupped Alex’s face. With every breath, Alex’s self-control completely shattered. He furiously kissed Chloe’s lips, his hand clutching the back of her head. Years of restraint were unleashed in that moment. I retreated back into my room, realizing my face was already streaked with cold tears. I thought I wouldn’t cry anymore, but remembering all the small moments from these years… I truly felt… so wronged. The next morning, I handed a stack of papers to Alex, who was peeling a boiled egg for Chloe. “Sign these.” Alex took the pen, asking, “What are they?” Chloe glanced at me and started whining, “Uncle Alex, I’m hungry.” I lowered my eyes, trying to sound natural. “Just some reimbursement forms. Nothing too important.” Alex didn’t suspect anything. He quickly signed, then went back to serving Chloe her breakfast. I took the documents and left the house, looking at the flourish of three words on the divorce papers. A sudden sense of immense relief washed over me. It was finally, truly over. 0
I had just finished calling Maya after arriving at the airport. Then I saw Alex and Chloe walking toward us, having just completed their boarding procedures. I was caught off guard, with no time to hide. Chloe spotted me first. “Oh, Auntie, did you put a tracker on Uncle Alex?” “Uncle Alex just decided to go to the auction an hour ago, how did you already know?” Alex looked at my small carry-on suitcase. “Later, okay? I promised to only bring Chloe this time.” “I’ll bring you some gifts as compensation when I get back.” Compensation, always compensation. I shook my head. “No need.” Chloe cried out anxiously, “You’re not trying to steal that pink diamond from me, are you? Aubrey Gray, you already stole Uncle Alex from me, how can you be so greedy?” I wasn’t angry. I calmly said, “Chloe, before I leave, let me give you a gift.” Even though I was leaving, I didn’t want Alex to have an easy time of it. Chloe’s face showed suspicion. I continued, “The person your uncle truly loves is you. He married me only because he was afraid of bringing scandal upon you.” “Don’t worry, no one can take him from you.” Alex’s breath hitched. He snapped, “Shut up!” But I didn’t stop, enjoying his exposed embarrassment. “If you get a chance, check out his meditation room. You’ll be surprised.” With that, I turned and walked away. Alex urgently tried to explain to Chloe, but she delightedly hooked her arm around his neck. The crowd quickly separated us. I wasn’t that kind. So, in my heart, I wished them: *May you never find happiness.* … Alex rejected Chloe’s attempt to kiss him. He called out Aubrey Gray’s name. But a senior tour group was passing by, and he was pushed to the other side of the crowd. From start to finish, Aubrey Gray never looked back. This had never happened before. In his memory, he seemed to have rarely seen Aubrey Gray’s back. Because he was always the one who left first. When she faced him, she always wore a smile, her devoted gaze tinged with a hint of eagerness to please. He always found that Aubrey Gray annoying. But he had also grown accustomed to her kindness. Even after they landed, he didn’t receive a message from Aubrey Gray. But he didn’t pay much attention, only stopping by a small street shop after the auction. Aubrey Gray was easy to appease; a small gift would make her happy. The shop owner eagerly showed him handmade rings. Alex’s heart stirred. He suddenly remembered that day at the church, after Aubrey Gray accepted his proposal, she had half-jokingly asked: “Alex, how can you propose without even a ring?” He didn’t answer, he thought. Later, she brought it up a few more times, always in a joking tone, but he either changed the subject or remained silent. He never gave her a response. And so, in the last two years, she had stopped asking. He picked up a rose-shaped ring, thinking of the day he first met Aubrey Gray. She was wearing a red shirt with high-waisted wide-leg pants, looking like a blooming rose. Later, she stood before him, eyes sparkling: “Alex, I like you. Can I try to win you over?” Her smile was direct and radiant. He had even been momentarily lost in it. A bell chimed at the door. Chloe came in and snatched the ring from his hand. “Ugh, why a rose? So cheesy…” She slipped it on and swung her hand back and forth, pouting, “Alex, do you really think this suits me?” After leaving their familiar surroundings, she had stopped calling him Uncle Alex. Alex felt a pang of guilt. Chloe immediately reacted. She yanked off the ring, her eyes red-rimmed. “You were going to give this to Aubrey Gray, weren’t you?” Alex spoke gently, trying to soothe her. “Chloe, I’m married. Aubrey is my wife.” But Chloe’s tears fell. “So what? A marriage without love means nothing!” She grabbed Alex’s shirt, stubbornly declaring, “I forbid it! I forbid you from buying rings for other women.” With this interlude, both their moods were sour for the rest of the trip. Alex unconsciously checked his phone every few minutes. But Aubrey Gray’s profile picture remained stubbornly silent. He made an excuse and called Leo separately, asking him to find out where Aubrey Gray had gone. But Leo was eerily silent for a moment. “Mr. Gray, Mrs. Gray resigned last week. Didn’t you know?” Alex froze. He heard Leo continue, “I heard Mrs. Gray returned home two days ago. Didn’t *you* know either?” 0 When Alex rushed home, Leo was already waiting at the door. Inside, he handed Alex a file, his expression grim. “Mr. Gray, this just arrived at the company.”
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