The moment I took my last breath, he was holding another woman in his arms. I vowed to make him remember the pain I brought for the rest of his life.] “Miss Avery, here’s your medication. Please take it.” I took the white pill bottle, muttering a quick thank you. With these sleeping pills, I could finally get some decent sleep tonight. From now on, I was going to change everything. Sitting in the taxi, I thought about the message Liam had just sent: “Got a business dinner tonight, won’t be home.” I knew exactly who that “business dinner” was for – Scarlett was back. That woman was something else. Just one year with Liam, and she had him completely wrapped around her finger. I’d been with Liam from when he was twenty-one to twenty-seven, a solid six years, but it couldn’t compare to a single tear from Scarlett. I had actually died once. The end result was Liam marrying Scarlett. And at their wedding, I had a complete mental breakdown and jumped. I gained absolutely nothing. How could I possibly accept that? So, in this life, I returned to when Liam was nineteen. According to fate’s original trajectory, I would meet him at twenty-one, just as he was starting his business. I’d become his most capable assistant. My family always undervalued me, focusing all their attention on my brother. His family, on the other hand, was already a shattered mess. We relied on each other, finding comfort in our shared pain. For six long years, we even talked about marriage. But then, everything changed at a party – Scarlett returned. She not only came back to the country but openly confessed her undying feelings for Liam right there at the event. They quickly rekindled their old flame, and my six years of youth were just tossed aside. Nineteen-year-old Liam was still the epitome of a rich heir, having everything, wanting for nothing. At that time, his romance with the beautiful Scarlett was in full bloom. At twenty, his family fortune crumbled. Scarlett went abroad, and his life plummeted. I remembered everything. So, I entered his world early this time. I didn’t interrupt his relationship with Scarlett because that love was destined to become a sharp blade. The very period Liam cherished as the most important in his life would be the target of my revenge. I watched Liam and Scarlett hold hands, embrace, and kiss. Those sweet nothings he used to whisper only to me now played out right before my eyes. For an entire year, my heart was steeped in their sickeningly sweet romance, rotting away into nothingness. I kept my poker face on, waiting, just waiting for that day to come. When Scarlett left, flying overseas, I approached a broken Liam with my deepest sincerity, filling the void during his entire period of emptiness and despair. How stubborn was twenty-year-old Liam? Childish, biased, pushing me away again and again, yet foolishly waiting for Scarlett. There’s a saying, companionship is worth more than a thousand eloquent words. Ultimately, he still chose me. We endured the hardest days together. Then, everything slowly unfolded according to my memories. He climbed step by step from an unknown nobody to the peak of his career. Our relationship evolved from hesitant glances to planning a future. Until – this party. “Miss, we’re here.” The driver’s voice pulled me back to reality. I glanced down at my phone, the screen showing my message history with Liam. Last message sent: 11:35 PM “Do you want me to pick you up?” “Don’t drink too much, I’m worried about you.” He hadn’t replied. I got out of the car, doing something I’d never dared to do before. This time, I would turn the tables with my own hands.
The bar’s lights were a chaotic, blinding mess. My eyes immediately landed on the person sitting with his back to the entrance. He was wearing a suit, standing out in the crowd, almost out of place. Next to him was Scarlett, her black dress outlining her perfect figure, also out of sync with the noisy crowd, yet somehow, she and Liam looked perfectly matched. I knew all the people sitting around them – Liam’s so-called “brothers” from his rich heir days. I stood there for a long time, not expecting much. Suddenly, a burst of laughter erupted nearby. They seemed to be egging someone on, having a great time. Then, Scarlett stood up and lightly pressed a kiss onto Liam’s lips. I raised my phone and captured the moment, zooming in until the image froze. Though I couldn’t make out Liam’s expression, the satisfied smile on Scarlett’s face was impossible to hide. My phone trembled in my palm, my heart aching as if pierced by needles. Turns out, the intimate moments I thought hadn’t happened were secretly playing out without my knowledge. As if feeling my gaze, Liam suddenly turned and looked outside. I quickly pulled down my hat to cover my face and turned to leave. He still didn’t see me. Back home, it was empty and silent. This place was supposed to be my warmest refuge, but now it felt even colder. After showering, I sat on the couch, staring intently at the pendulum. At 1:28 AM, the sound of the door finally broke the silence. I opened my eyes and rushed towards Liam as he stepped in, clinging tightly to him. He caught me, gently stroking my hair. He murmured, “Aren’t you cold, walking around barefoot?” I placed my hand on his cheek, tracing the spot where Scarlett had just kissed him, my voice muffled: “Where were you? So late, and you didn’t reply to my messages.” He paused, but didn’t answer. Instead, he simply carried me to the couch, sat me down, and helped me put on my socks. I playfully kicked him a couple of times, feeling a bit sulky. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” He ruffled my hair, sighing, his tone weary: “It was an important client. I didn’t drink. My phone was off, so I didn’t see your messages.” I looked at him, my eyes filled only with the face of the man I loved most. Liam, you’re lying to me. But I didn’t ask anything else. I just nestled into his arms, clinging to him in the way I knew best. 2 Early the next morning, Liam left for work. After he was gone, I sat up in bed and went to the study. The room was filled with documents and classic books. Among them, I found my diary. I pulled it out and flipped through the pages, filled with past emotions, from the day I met Liam until now. During the years Scarlett was gone, I felt a care and affection I’d never experienced before. Perhaps it was because I stayed by Liam’s side during his lowest point that he always treated me differently. Though I always knew his heart belonged to Scarlett. Sometimes, I’d wonder if this time would be different. But then I’d think about those six years I spent by his side, only for Scarlett to reappear, wearing the wedding dress I’d personally ordered for myself. And on that very day, they’d be kissing and celebrating my absence in each other’s arms. Thinking about these things, my heart twisted with a hatred that felt like madness. Liam, you must suffer as I did, living every single second in a hell of emotions. Tears blurred the pages, my fingers tracing the photo I’d secretly taken that night. Replaying it again and again, it felt like my heart was being repeatedly sliced open. I thought it wouldn’t hurt anymore. “I went to pick up Liam, and saw a girl kiss him. She was so happy, but I felt so sad.” These shaky words were scrawled across a new page. My emotions were both agitated and suppressed, a tangled mess. It was a contradictory feeling, yet there was a strange thrill to it. I closed the diary and put it back in its place. I put on light makeup and changed into a white dress. The girl in the mirror looked quiet and gentle. Completely unlike Scarlett’s flamboyant and passionate style. A smile touched my lips, and the girl in the mirror mirrored the action. My faint dimples seemed to hold all the sweetness in the world. Liam had complimented my smile several times, saying it was beautiful. But now, I no longer loved to smile, not after being reborn. I preferred to cry. Only truly released emotions made me feel alive, gave me a strong sense of reality, made me feel like a normal human being. Crying made me remember: I remembered Liam’s cold gaze, and Scarlett’s mocking smiles, time and time again.
After leaving the house, I went straight to Liam’s company. Most of his employees recognized me, but their eyes seemed to flit away, as if they were hiding something. I had a pretty good idea what it was. Sure enough, before I even reached his office, I heard female laughter inside. Peeking through the glass, I saw them both sitting at a table, eating. Scarlett picked up a piece of carrot, about to feed it to Liam. Liam frowned slightly, but still opened his mouth and bit the carrot. He actually hated carrots. I froze for a few seconds, standing at the door before I reacted, unable to stop myself from kicking the door open and rushing in, my hand already flying to slap Scarlett across the face. “Don’t you know he has a girlfriend?! How dare you be so unreasonable! Get out, now!” Her eyes widened, looking at me in shock after I hit her. Tears instantly welled up, and she stammered, defending herself: “I didn’t, I really didn’t know who his girlfriend was. We’re just friends. Avery, you must have misunderstood, right, Liam?” I looked at Liam, who remained silent. He paused for a few seconds before slowly speaking. “Avery, why are you so impulsive? Scarlett is an old friend of mine. You shouldn’t just hit people without reason. Apologize to her.” I held the lunchbox in my hand, my whole body trembling. Liam, you’re lying again. The atmosphere grew tense. Scarlett’s cries were like a knife, slowly chipping away at Liam’s dwindling patience. “Avery, you’ve gone too far today. You hit someone, you need to apologize! Apologize to Scarlett now!” He frowned, his fingers tapping on the table, the rhythm quick and agitated. It had been a long time since I’d seen that expression on him. Suddenly, a memory flashed in my mind: Liam when he was twenty. I tried everything to please him, but he was so stubborn, repeatedly telling me, “Avery, I’ll never like you. Just give up.” His face now was exactly the same as it was then. —Everything, it was all for Scarlett. Memories churned, and tears blurred my vision once more. I forced out two words. “I’m sorry.” Hearing me, Liam’s frown slowly eased, a faint smile gracing his lips. “Avery, you should sit down and eat with us too.” Scarlett, nearby, quickly echoed him, her tone soft but tinged with triumph. “Yes, Avery, join us. I specially bought this lunch for Liam; it’s from his favorite restaurant.” She looked at me, a hint of disdain and gloating in her eyes. I said nothing more, suppressing the raging storm in my chest. Liam, on the other hand, looked pleased. I put the lunchbox I was holding back on the table, and he seemed to remember something, freezing. I knew what he was thinking. I prepared his lunch every day; it had become our unspoken agreement, even a habit. And today, he had accepted food from someone else. I smiled subtly. “I brought you lunch. Since you’ve already eaten, I’ll just take it back.” Liam opened his mouth, and after a long pause, only one word escaped. “Okay.” I didn’t linger, turning and leaving without looking back. Once I was far enough away that I couldn’t see him anymore, the delayed surge of hurt finally spilled out. The employees standing outside the office were all looking at me with strange expressions, but I pretended not to notice, walking out with a smile. Even as I left, I faintly heard their hushed discussions. “How could this happen? The CEO’s current girlfriend can’t even compete with his ex.” “Shh, be careful what you say. I went to college with the CEO. That woman in the office is actually his ex-girlfriend. They used to have a great relationship, quite famous on campus.” “Oh, I see. So, who will the CEO end up with?” “Who knows. Anyway, his current girlfriend is really pitiful.” Yes, I really was pitiful. I gave a bitter smile, then walked briskly away from Liam’s company.
The sunlight was blinding. I shielded my eyes with my hand. “Excuse me, miss, would you like to see this?” Lowering my hand, I looked up to see a mascot bear standing in front of me. Its round body waddled clumsily towards me, looking a bit comical. He handed me a flyer, an advertisement for a new coffee shop. “I’ll check it out, thank you.” A memory flashed through my mind – the days I spent handing out flyers with Liam. The streets then were like a giant oven, and we were baking inside it. I nodded at the mascot bear, and just as I was about to turn and leave, I heard a cheerful voice say: “Miss, you look really beautiful when you smile.” My body stiffened, his words echoing in my ears. *Avery, you’re so beautiful when you smile.* “Really?” I didn’t even know why I said that. He raised his furry paw and gently touched my cheek, a slightly clumsy but very soft movement. “You’d be even prettier if you didn’t cry.” “Don’t be sad, Miss.” I reached up to touch my eyes, my fingertips feeling damp. I was crying again. I shouldn’t be sad anymore. I paused, and a smile slowly returned to my face. I gave the mascot bear a hug, and he accepted it. “Thank you.” Maybe I was being a bit silly. I just sat there, watching him hand out flyers, greeting everyone he saw. He advised me to go home early. I didn’t listen, shaking my head to refuse. He wasn’t impatient either. He just stood there in his heavy costume, blocking the sun for me. This feeling of being cared for, it was so warm. Evening came, and the sky was painted with a red glow. He took off the mascot suit and sat next to me. Beside him was a bottle of water he had specially bought. The weather was really hot; his hair was stuck to his forehead, making him look a bit disheveled. I pulled out a tissue and handed it to him. He took it, wiped the sweat from his face and neck, and casually pushed a few strands of hair back from his forehead. That fleeting moment, he looked so handsome. Completely different from the steady, quiet Liam. I kept looking at him. He suddenly raised his hand and waved it in front of my eyes, smiling, “Miss, am I super handsome? You were spacing out just now.” His goofy face made me laugh. I waved his hand away and stood up, saying, “Don’t flatter yourself.” “I’m going home now. You should head back early too.” My ride’s horn had honked a few times, reminding me. I waved to him and got into the car. In the rearview mirror, I saw him holding the mascot suit, smiling with the setting sun behind him, waving vigorously at me. I hadn’t told anyone, but his smile was truly radiant too. Memories from a few years ago surfaced – back then, the one wearing the mascot suit and blocking the sun for others was me. It was stifling hot inside the mascot suit, like an oven, making it hard to breathe. I remembered my complaints and Liam’s arrogant temper back then. What was I doing? Perhaps I just wanted to know what it felt like to have someone clumsily care for me like that. Why was I thinking of him again? I touched the corner of my eye again – this time, nothing. Back home, the empty feeling was as usual. Scarlett somehow added me on SnapChat. I had accepted her friend request, but she still hadn’t said anything. I knew exactly what her little game was. I opened her profile on Ins, and sure enough, there was a playful caption and a photo: “Dinner for two was so delightful, even the lemon water tasted sweet~” The picture showed two yellow drinks, with an array of rich, exquisite dishes on the table. The most crucial detail was a man’s hand – no doubt, it was Liam’s. He was pretty smart; he’d specifically taken off the watch I’d given him. I opened my diary again and wrote: “Today, Liam forgot about the lunch I’d prepared and ate with another girl. That girl even fed him carrots, which he hates. I was so upset that I slapped her. But Liam defended her and made me apologize. I’m so heartbroken.” After that day, Liam barely came home. I often suffered from insomnia; even the sleeping pills stopped working. Sometimes, I’d finally fall asleep, only to wake up with a jolt.
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