The day Chloe’s wedding to Julian was supposed to happen, my love jumped from the eighteenth floor. I opened his studio, and it was filled with countless portraits of Seraphina. The strokes were wild and frenzied, almost deranged, yet they pulsed with his overwhelming affection. My friend Maya said, “Julian loved Seraphina for ten years. She was his only light.” When I opened my eyes again, I saw Julian, cornered by the school bully Jax in our classroom. I quietly closed the door. Later, he knocked on my window in the pouring rain, his voice hoarse and desperate. “Chloe, are you… are you giving up on me?” Astrophysics professor Julian recently discovered a new asteroid. During his interview, his exceptionally striking appearance made him an instant trending topic. The public’s focus quickly shifted from the asteroid to his almost otherworldly face. When news broke that the asteroid was named after his beloved, netizens instantly erupted. While praising their picture-perfect romance, everyone started digging to find out who “R.a.n.” was. I hugged my phone, biting back a triumphant grin. At the end of the video, the reporter chuckled, asking, “Professor Julian, is there anything you’d like to say to your beloved, R.a.n.?” Julian froze, his eyes, dark as midnight, trembling slightly. “Happy wedding.” His tone was calm, yet it held an almost imperceptible edge of despair, on the brink of shattering. I instantly stiffened. Happy wedding? What did that even mean? “Oh, come on!” Maya, beside me, playfully nudged me. “Chloe, your Professor Julian seems so stoic, but he’s actually quite the romantic, huh? Celebrating your wedding anniversary like it’s your actual wedding day.” Was that it? Looking at Julian’s seemingly tender eyes in the video, my cheeks instantly flushed. I had been with Julian for ten years. I’d seen him transform from a sullen, almost lifeless boy to the composed, refined professor he was now. Ten years ago, he transferred to my school and became my deskmate. The boy had porcelain skin and features that seemed painted, but he looked at me with pure annoyance. And now, he was naming an asteroid after me, and his usually cold, aloof eyes softened with fondness and tenderness whenever he spoke of his beloved. Today was our one-year wedding anniversary. I cradled my stomach, curled up on the sofa. I planned to tell him the news about my pregnancy the moment he walked through the door. However… The news I received instead was Julian’s death. He had jumped from the eighteenth floor. Clutched tightly in his hand was a single note. “Death is merely a return to the cosmos. Billions of years from now, we will reunite among the stars.”
Accompanied by Maya, I arranged Julian’s funeral. He had left a will, stating that all his assets were to be donated after his death. For some reason, I was eerily calm these past few days. Seeing Maya’s eyes swollen from crying, gritting her teeth at Julian’s memorial picture, yet still trying to comfort me, I almost wanted to laugh. After the funeral, I received a call from his lawyer. “Mrs. Julian, Mr. Julian owned a villa not included in the donation… You can come arrange for its transfer whenever you have time.” The villa was in the suburbs, south of the city. I pushed open the front door, speechless at the sight before me. The main hall was filled with portraits. The strokes were wild and frenzied, almost deranged, like rough sketches from a beginner. But the person in the portraits came alive, made vivid by the overflowing, intense affection captured within them. It was Seraphina, our high school’s ‘It Girl’. Ten years. I had never once heard her name from Julian’s lips. I had no idea his feelings for her were hidden so deeply. I stumbled forward a few steps, steadying myself against a table. Neatly arranged on the table were several amber pieces. Each encased a small fruit candy, a dried flower, and a fragment of a glitter nail. The amber was smooth and rounded, clearly often handled and cherished. Things Seraphina had carelessly discarded, he treated as precious treasures. My wedding ring, which I had personally chosen for him, lay discarded nearby in a dried-up paint palette. My heart clenched with sharp, shooting pains, and tears welled uncontrollably in my eyes. Sitting down, I masochistically opened the notebook on the table. It was a chronicle of Julian’s ten-year unrequited love. On his first day of transfer, he received a fruit candy from Seraphina, the girl who sat in front of him, along with a friendly smile. It was as if a ray of sunshine had pierced his shadowed, inner world. For the gloomy boy, who had suffered domestic abuse and bullying, it was the first pure act of kindness he had ever received. He fell for her then and there. He wanted to lock her away, to possess her, to make her smile only for him. But he couldn’t bear to drag such a bright, vibrant girl into his darkness. R.a.n. wasn’t Chloe. It was Seraphina. It was his wedding gift to her. I flipped through the entire notebook. There were only a few brief mentions of me. “My new deskmate is too nosy, annoying. … Married. A bit regretful, but I must be responsible for her.” All the breakfasts I brought him when he had low blood sugar, the bullies I chased away for him, the time I dragged him by the hand out of the fire his deranged, abusive father started, all these years of my companionship and comfort… he didn’t mention a single one. The only thing he couldn’t forget was Seraphina’s vibrant smile from all those years ago. Each word was a slow, agonizing slice to my heart. I clenched my fists, breathing deeply. The crisp, clean scent of pine, his scent, still seemed to linger in the air. I felt nauseous. Some people are just inherently vile, unworthy of salvation. I pressed my palm to my stomach. He didn’t deserve me bearing his child. Just as I was about to stand, I heard a sound from the doorway. Two figures pushed the door open and stepped inside.
It was Julian’s best friend, Liam, and Seraphina. Liam’s eyes were red-rimmed, his voice hoarse. “This villa… Julian left it for you. You were once his only light. Back then, he was so depressed he almost didn’t make it. It was looking at your photos that helped him get back on his feet.” Seraphina stood blankly, her eyes misted over. “After he received his full scholarship, he didn’t even need to attend classes anymore, but he came every day just to get another glimpse of you…” Liam’s voice trailed off as he finally spotted me behind the bookshelf. He froze. Then, with a disgusted frown, he asked, “What are you doing here?” He strode forward and shoved me hard. “Get out! Don’t you dare defile the only peaceful place Julian had! If you hadn’t clung to him so relentlessly, he wouldn’t have ended up like this!” I stumbled from his push, and a dull ache spread in my lower abdomen. I steadied myself, then swung my hand back and slapped him hard across the face. “What does that have to do with me?! I never forced him to date me, or to marry me! He missed out on Seraphina because he was a spineless, pathetic coward!” Seraphina’s teary voice suddenly cut in. “He… didn’t receive the love letter I sent him?” Liam and I both froze. “What did you say?” “Before the college entrance exam, I put a love letter on his desk, but I never heard back from him…” Her voice was laced with a bitter laugh, and when she looked up again, her eyes held a hint of resentment. “It was you, wasn’t it?” She stared at me, her gaze piercing. “You were jealous of me, so you threw away the letter? You made us miss out on ten whole years… and now he’s gone, and we’re separated by death…” I knew nothing about this. But Liam believed her. “You evil bitch!” He gritted his teeth and lunged at me. My stomach hit the corner of the table with a sickening thud. A searing pain ripped through me, and blood slowly began to seep out. My vision blurred, and I collapsed onto the floor, unconscious. When I opened my eyes again, I was holding a textbook, dressed in my school uniform, standing outside the janitor’s closet.
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