My brother always hated me. He once told me to my face that he wished I would just die. So I granted his wish and got stomach cancer. But he regretted it. I still died anyway. With a smile on my face, right in front of him. Jake’s call came just as I arrived home. The diagnosis report in my bag was already crumpled into a ball. He never used to call me on his own initiative before. “It was Dad’s birthday two days ago,” he said, his voice cold as ice. As always. “Why didn’t you come back…” “Because I didn’t want to,” I cut him off. “You went back, didn’t you? That’s enough.” “Tina came back from abroad at the beginning of the month.” Tina was my uncle’s daughter who had lived with us since childhood. “If she was there, that’s fine. After all, you only treat her like a sister anyway.” The person on the other end seemed to suddenly flare up in anger, calling my name in a low voice: “Mia!” I hung up. The last bit of sunset glow fell into the room. I sat at the desk, tearing the diagnosis report into tiny pieces. As the shreds of paper fluttered down onto the table, my phone screen suddenly lit up. Jake: Mom’s death anniversary is coming up soon.
Jake was my brother. He had always hated me. Because I was the culprit who took away his mother. Over twenty years ago, my mother died in childbirth. As I was born, she lost her life forever on the operating table. It was a murder disguised as new life. No one welcomed my arrival. Because of me, Dad lost his beloved wife. And Jake lost his mother. This long-standing resentment began from the day I was born and has continued until now. I didn’t intentionally skip Dad’s birthday. It’s just that day, the abdominal pain was so severe I nearly passed out. That’s when I first realized something was wrong. But actually, if I didn’t go, he would probably be more at ease.
Jake didn’t contact me again. I was standing outside the company building when I took a deep breath. After graduation, I had joined his company. Working my way up from the bottom, but no one ever discovered our connection. The number of times I met with him was even fewer than his meetings with ordinary employees. Last week, a senior executive left, and this Monday they were to announce the successor. Everyone said the position was mine for sure. At least before I got the diagnosis report, I had thought so too. In the hallway, I ran into a colleague who greeted me and then excitedly came closer: “Mia, don’t forget to treat us to a big dinner when you get promoted.” I smiled and looked down: “It’s not certain yet.” “It’s definitely going to be you,” she linked arms with me, “You’re the best out of everyone here.” When we entered the conference room, Jake was there. I happened to meet his gaze for a moment before we both looked away like strangers. “Good morning, Mr. Jiang.” He didn’t look at me, just nodded slightly. As indifferent as if our argument that night had never happened. People gradually filled up the conference room. Jake cleared his throat, and my colleague immediately gave me a meaningful look. I lowered my eyes to avoid her gaze. The next second, I heard a familiar name. “Tina Tang.” A familiar figure entered from outside. Slender and graceful, Tina smiled as warmly as ever. Jake stood beside her, introducing her to everyone: “Miss Tang has just returned from abroad and will be taking over the deputy manager position.” Some people instinctively glanced at me. I avoided their eyes and looked at the beaming Tina on the stage. The atmosphere in the room seemed to stagnate for a moment. Invisible undercurrents stirred. I smiled and applauded. Scattered applause broke the slightly awkward atmosphere in the conference room. Tina met my eyes, her expression warm and friendly.
The coffee smell in the break room was so strong it seemed about to overflow. I stirred it with a spoon, took a sip, and felt some acid reflux as I swallowed. My colleague stared angrily, fuming with indignation. “How is this fair? She just parachutes in and steals your position? Is this blatant nepotism?” “Mia, aren’t you angry?” “This position was meant for you. You worked so hard, even almost ended up in the hospital from overworking last time.” Her gaze fell on the dark circles under my eyes: “Mia, I’m telling you, there’s no need to work yourself to death like this. Cut back on the coffee.” The warmth of the coffee seeped through the ceramic mug into my hands as I thanked her softly: “Mr. Jiang must have his reasons.” The girl’s eyes widened as she was about to complain in a low voice when a phone rang abruptly. Jake’s voice was crystal clear in the small break room, tinged with barely suppressed anger: “Mia, come to my office.” My hand shook, spilling a few drops of coffee on my white shirt. The heat seeped through the fabric, scalding my skin. I responded quietly: “Okay.”
The moment Jake’s office door opened, I saw Tina sitting on the sofa, her head slightly bowed. She was clutching a piece of paper in her hand. And Jake, sitting there with a cold expression, suppressing his anger. People used to say that even though Jake and I came from the same womb, only our eyes looked alike. Upturned at the corners, when not smiling, they naturally carried a cold aura that kept people at a distance. Unfortunately, neither of us liked to smile. And Jake had never smiled at me. “Although Tina is new, she has the qualifications for this position.” “Mia.” Jake frowned deeply as he called my name. “If you have complaints, say them directly. Gossiping behind people’s backs, ganging up with colleagues to isolate Tina – Mia, is your viciousness ingrained in your bones?” In just half a day. I glanced sideways at Tina. She happened to look up and meet my eyes. Her face, in her early twenties, was full of collagen. Her eyes were slightly red, with tears reflecting tiny flecks of light. Then she quickly lowered her head again. All the actors in this farce were in place, just waiting for me to play my part. But I really had no interest in acting out their drama. “What other people say with their own mouths has nothing to do with me.” “Besides-” “Everyone’s not stupid.” A sob and the sound of something falling to the ground rang out simultaneously. The expensive pen that had been on the desk was now shattered into pieces. Black ink spread by my feet. “Mia! You…” A light piece of paper fell on his desk. Jake’s words were cut off. When he saw the text clearly, his anger immediately resurged: “Mia!” “Are you still a child?” “Are you throwing a tantrum?” The crisp new resignation letter was crumpled into a ball and thrown back at my feet like trash. It’s not a tantrum at all. I’ve known for a long time. I don’t have the right to throw tantrums. Only children who are coddled have that privilege. And I don’t. “I’ll go to HR myself.” As I closed the door, his roar was shut out along with it. But I hadn’t walked far before Tina caught up with me. “Mia.” Her voice still had a nasal quality, and she carefully reached for my hand. “Mia, don’t be angry. I don’t want this position. I’ll go talk to Jake. Don’t be upset.” “If I had known, I wouldn’t have come back. Mia, don’t let me ruin the relationship between you and your brother.” There was no one in the hallway. I stopped and looked at her. Tina’s eyes naturally carried an air of innocence and pitifulness. Combined with her slightly reddened eyes and nose tip, she could easily win others’ favor. She looked just like she did over ten years ago, when she first came to our home. “Tina.” I moved closer to her, gripping her chin, “This trick never fails-” “Does it?” Tina’s face instantly turned pale. The elevator arrival chime sounded. I let go of her and walked towards the elevator. She seemed not to have recovered, standing rooted to the spot. I smiled at her: “You know very well, there was never any sibling affection between him and me.” “Come to think of it, you’re more like his sister.”
As the elevator doors closed, I saw my expressionless face reflected in them. My abdomen cramped with pain. Actually, in the beginning, my relationship with Jake wasn’t as bad as this. When we were young, although he didn’t like me, he never did or said anything too extreme. Compared to Dad who treated me like I was invisible, Jake as a brother was the only person I felt close to. Back then I thought, even if Jake didn’t like me, we were still family. That’s what blood ties meant. Until middle school, when Tina came to live with us. That’s when I realized. Brothers could actually be so nice to others. Not always wearing a cold expression, not telling her to “get lost,” not mocking her with sarcasm. That was how a brother should really treat a sister. But Tina wasn’t satisfied. On the fifth day after she transferred to my middle school, when I came home from school, Jake slapped me hard across the face. I held my cheek and stared at him in shock. He was saying things I couldn’t understand. Bullying. Evil. Vicious. Apologize. But when I saw Tina standing behind him, head bowed and clutching his shirt, These scattered words suddenly pieced together into a complete lie in my mind. I tried to explain. But he didn’t believe me. The argument that erupted that day and the obvious favoritism suddenly shattered the naive and foolish thoughts I once had. Jake wasn’t stupid enough to be unable to tell right from wrong. It was simply that he chose not to. I seemed to belatedly realize on that day. My brother truly harbored genuine hatred towards me. My relationship with Jake deteriorated rapidly. Unfortunately, in my foolishness and immaturity at the time, I only thought that rather than having him treat me like a stranger like Dad did, I might as well antagonize him. At least then, Jake would see me. The tense relationship between us continued until I was eighteen. At eighteen, I was dragged into hell. After eighteen, my relationship with Jake suddenly became that of strangers. Like a war that abruptly ceased. We no longer argued, no longer lashed out hysterically, no longer confronted each other. Just cold indifference, as if we didn’t know each other at all.
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