I was sitting on Leo Miller’s lap, my sheer stockings rustling, and he instantly flushed from his neck to his ears. He was so damn innocent, it was almost painful to watch. I deliberately ran my fingers up his chiseled nose. “Isn’t your grandma in desperate need of life-saving surgery? Rip these sheer stockings off, and I’ll cover all her medical bills!” Leo’s breathing grew ragged, and I could feel something hardening against me. Just as he started tearing at my stockings inch by inch with his teeth, Julian Harrington, my ever-dignified and esteemed guardian, burst into the VIP room, enraged. He shoved Leo away and relentlessly pounded the scrawny guy. Then he turned, gripping my shoulders so hard it stung. “Stella Harrington! I told you, no dating! How can you be so disobedient? Are you just ignoring everything I say?!” I scoffed, meeting his scarlet eyes. “Isn’t this just your way of making sure I’m ‘suitable’ for an arranged marriage? Fine! I’m in!” That night, curled up in the wardrobe, I heard Julian’s conversation with his younger sister echoing in my ears again: “I heard that little girl likes you. What do you think?” “She’s just a stray I picked up from the rubble of that disaster, groomed precisely so she could be married off for us someday!”
I woke up groggily the next morning, hearing the housekeepers downstairs shouting my name, and the frantic pacing of footsteps in my room. I wiped away the tears in the corners of my eyes and pushed open the wardrobe door. My gaze immediately clashed with Julian’s anxious eyes. I instinctively looked away, forcing a smile as I mumbled, “Julian.” He instantly reverted to his usual cold demeanor, pointing a finger at me as he questioned, “Did you sleep in the wardrobe last night?” I feigned nonchalance. “Yeah, I’ve always liked sleeping in wardrobes since I was little. You didn’t know that?” Julian’s eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment. Of course, he didn’t know. Because I’d never told him. My entire family was buried under the ruins after the devastating earthquake that leveled our town in ’08. I knelt alone on the desolate, flattened landscape of our small town, staring at it in despair. I was five years old then. Julian was fifteen. Against his father’s wishes, Julian brought me home from that devastation. Under the protection of Julian, the heir to the Harrington family, even without my family, I lived a good life. To avoid causing him any trouble, I was always well-behaved, no matter where I was. Even if someone bullied me, I wouldn’t say a word to him. I studied hard from a young age and was lucky enough to get into a prestigious university, never shaming Julian. At fifteen, when I first felt the pangs of a crush, I broke my obedient facade and confessed my feelings to Julian. He told me I was too young and didn’t understand what love was, confusing familial affection with romantic love. At eighteen, finally an adult, I happily held my acceptance letter and asked if I could pursue him. He said he already liked someone and was pursuing her. I was so envious. At twenty, I learned from others that Julian had already broken off contact with that girl. I was ready to gather my courage again, holding my national academic award, to confess to him. But then I heard his conversation with his younger sister: “I heard that little girl likes you. What do you think?” “She’s just a stray I picked up from the rubble of that disaster, groomed precisely so she could be married off for us someday!” My heart seized, I couldn’t breathe. My nails dug into my palms, the sharp pain ignored as fresh blood bloomed on the pristine white puff-sleeve dress I’d just put on for the very first time. I thought all these years his care and protection for me were under the guise of family, but I never imagined it was for his shrewd business interests. I laughed, tears streaming down my face. “Julian Harrington, Julian Harrington, for your own sister, you played a masterful, cynical game!”
Julian’s commanding tone yanked me back to reality. “Downstairs. Go eat, now!” His voice still held the displeasure from yesterday’s intimate encounter with Leo. Before, I would have even personally handed him love letters sent to me by others, telling him that my heart only belonged to him, and I would never date prematurely. But now, it was different. I had accidentally stumbled upon his true thoughts about me. His words were like countless needles, pricking my heart day and night, making tears stream down my face. I still obediently went downstairs to eat, just as always. But at the dinner table, I was as silent as a mute. Julian sensed my unusual mood, and his tone softened slightly. “Didn’t sleep well last night?” I just nodded silently. Ever since I learned that I was merely a ‘stray’ he’d raised, I hadn’t had a single good night’s sleep. I’d always wake up crying, until I stayed in the wardrobe until dawn. “Should I call a doctor to check on you?” I shook my head again, then put down my forks, got up, and left for school. This was the first time in years I had acted this way towards Julian. Before, I would always finish every meal he personally prepared, and always say goodbye obediently before leaving for school. Now, Julian looked at the untouched food on the table, even the soy milk in my bowl was left unfinished. It felt as if something was lodged in Julian’s throat. I walked to class distracted, when I bumped into Leo Miller, the broke college guy from the bar that night. I thought he was coming to ask me for his grandma’s surgery fees, so before he could speak, I got his SnapChat ID and immediately transferred him 200,000. But he just pointed at my eyes. “Were you crying last night? Your eyes are so swollen!” I instinctively grabbed my phone to check, and sure enough, they were as swollen as if I’d been stung by a bee. I gave a numb smile. Julian and I had just eaten at the same table for so long, and he hadn’t noticed a thing, yet this person I’d just met saw it immediately. I let out a long breath, feigning lightness. “Want to grab a drink?” “Now?” “Yeah.” “Okay, since I’ve taken your money, I’m at your service!” And just like that, we skipped class and went straight to the bar, drinking all day. Only when the alcohol numbed my senses could I feel a flicker of happiness, forgetting all the unpleasant things. Meanwhile, Valerie Chen, my university advisor and Julian’s former classmate, found out I’d skipped all my classes for the day. She promptly called Julian. Julian and his security team frantically searched for me, finally finding me passed out drunk at the bar. Leo, who had just tried to cover me with his jacket, was once again beaten black and blue by Julian. Julian’s strong, lean fingers gripped my waist, preparing to carry me home, but I stubbornly resisted, wrapping my arms around his neck, my voice choked with tears. “Julian, why are you doing this to me! Why?!” My traitorous tears streamed onto Julian’s leather jacket. “I’ve loved you for so many years, why don’t you love me back! Why do you always reject me?!” Julian, as always, remained rational. “Stella, look at me clearly. I’m your guardian!” I struggled to open my blurry eyes, looking at Julian, who had raised me since childhood. “But we’re not blood relatives, so why not?!” Julian frowned slightly, looking at me for a long time before speaking. “Stella, you’ve always been well-behaved and sensible. Why are you so reckless lately, even drinking with other men? Don’t you know how dangerous that is! I’m so disappointed in you!” Honestly, I’d always been terrified of him being disappointed in me. I was afraid that if he was disappointed, he would kick me out of the Harrington family, leaving me utterly alone. So, I’d learned to pretend from a young age. When taught piano, which I didn’t like, I’d smile and say I loved it, then practice for two extra hours, even skipping meals. When taught self-defense taekwondo, even covered in bruises, I never shed a single tear. Instead, I’d comfort a distressed Julian: “Julian, you’re doing this for my own good. I’ll study hard!” Even with food I didn’t like, clothes I didn’t prefer, or a major I wasn’t passionate about, I would never argue. As long as Julian approved, I had no complaints.
Taking advantage of the alcohol’s numbing effect, I boldly reached out and caressed Julian’s face. Julian, however, turned his head away, leaving my hand awkwardly suspended in the air. “Stella, you’re becoming increasingly unruly! Even if we’re not blood relatives, I’m still your guardian! Doing this won’t just ruin you; it’ll ruin me!” So, Julian was afraid I would ruin *him*. All the grievances and helplessness transformed into a choked laugh, releasing themselves in tears. “Julian, I thought my place in your heart might not be first, but at least there was a place. Now it seems, I’m just a burden.” Julian seemed about to say something, but swallowed it back. The hand at my waist suddenly tightened, and Julian lifted me into his arms. I wiped my tears upward, calmly looking at him. “Put me down, I can walk on my own.” Back in my room, I started packing my suitcase. Now that I completely understood Julian’s true intentions, our decade-long entanglement should finally end. Staying at home before was just so I could see Julian every day. Now, it was time to move back to the dorms. After packing, I suddenly realized there were only a few changes of clothes in my suitcase. Nothing else I absolutely needed to take. All the jewelry and necklaces were bought by Julian; I’d kept them neatly in my jewelry box because I couldn’t bear to wear them. Now, they weren’t needed anymore. On my desk, the paper stars I’d folded since childhood still sat quietly in a glass jar. Inside them, every year’s birthday wish was about Julian. I ruthlessly tossed them directly into the trash can. Even Julian’s ID photo, tucked inside a book, went into the trash along with the book itself. The trash can piled higher and higher, my suitcase held less and less. As I left, I even turned our joint photo face down on the desk. When I went downstairs, Julian saw me and asked what I was doing. I simply said, “Moving back to school.” He just casually replied, “That’s fine. It’ll help you develop independence. Have the driver take you.” Develop independence? Ha! In his eyes, I was still just a little girl who clung to him. Clearly, my disguise was perfect. I got into the car without looking back. Behind me, Julian, who had been watching me, increasingly realized I was changing. I, who never touched alcohol, now went to bars all day. I, who had never dared to upset him, now openly defied him. He thought I was growing up, but in reality, I had simply seen him for who he was. I, Stella Harrington, could pick up, and I could let go. More than a decade of emotional investment had gone to waste, but I had no regrets. Back in my dorm, after simply making my bed, I lay down, ready to sleep, when I saw a concerned message from my advisor, Valerie Chen. I knew Valerie had a crush on Julian back in college, and despite repeated rejections, she never gave up. My head was pounding from a day of drinking, so I replied directly: “Valerie, just tell me what’s up!” Valerie didn’t hide her eager curiosity: “Does your guardian have a girlfriend now?” “No.” “Then, can you help me pursue him?” My typing hand trembled on the keyboard. Even though I had given up, a sense of injustice still gnawed at me. They say the one closest to you wins your heart. But after more than a decade by Julian’s side, our relationship remained strictly guardian and ward. I gritted my teeth and replied with one word: “Okay.” After a day of drinking, my head felt like it would explode. Yet, I couldn’t find any sleep. I only drifted into unconsciousness at dawn.
The May morning was still bone-chilling. It had been a month since I moved back to school. Julian hadn’t visited me once. His SnapChat chat box, aside from transfer records, didn’t even contain a single word of concern. Indeed, a businessman is just a businessman; ruthless when necessary, without a trace of hesitation. I was listlessly heading to the cafeteria for breakfast before class, when I unexpectedly saw Julian walking towards me. He smiled and waved. I was the kind of person who would bloom with a little sunshine, so I enthusiastically waved back. Just then, a woman ran up behind him, shouting loudly, “Julian! I missed you so much!” Upon closer inspection, it was my impeccably made-up advisor, Valerie Chen. I instantly pulled my hand back, embarrassed, my heart giving a painful wrench. My hand, tucked into my pocket, felt like a block of ice. Julian, holding Valerie’s hand, walked up to me and gently introduced her: “Stella, I forgot to tell you, Valerie and I are together now. You can call her Auntie from now on when we’re out.” Before I could even open my mouth to speak, Valerie, blushing, playfully hit Julian’s chest. “We’re not even married yet! You’re making me blush!” At that moment, my fingers were digging into my palms, leaving angry red marks. Julian, to make me give up, the man who was always so reserved with his emotions, was now flaunting his affection openly. Perhaps Julian truly liked her, after all, she was indeed very beautiful. Valerie walked over and patted my shoulder, chuckling. “Thanks to Stella for helping me pursue you! Otherwise, I wouldn’t even know what you like to eat, what size clothes you wear, or your measurements!” A flicker of surprise crossed Julian’s eyes. Valerie then pointed to Julian’s suit. “Stella, how do you like Julian’s suit today? I had it custom-made for him. It just arrived yesterday, and he’s wearing it today!” I quickly glanced at it, forcing a smile. “It looks great.” When I was eighteen, I’d spent all the money I saved from high school to have a custom suit made for Julian to confess my feelings. But I’d never seen him wear it. Julian handed me an ornate box. Inside was a formal marriage contract, elegantly presented on rich crimson paper with bold black script. He still spoke expressionlessly, “Stella, if you wish to marry, sign your name here. If not, it’s also—” Before he could finish, I cut him off. “I want to.” Julian’s fingers subtly trembled. “Since I already agreed to it last time, I won’t go back on my word.” I would use the rest of my life to give the Harrington Group a better future, and to give Julian’s younger sister a better future. This would be my way of repaying Julian for raising me. From then on, the sky was wide and the road long. I owed Julian nothing. The Harrington Group originally specialized in bereavement services, so some families were unwilling to engage in arranged marriages with them,
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