Five years ago, I stormed off in a huff, leaving Asher. Later, he won the Best Actor award, but at the Starfall Awards Gala, he held up my photo, searching for me. “My beloved has been missing for a month. Please, help me find her.” Yet, news of my gruesome death had exploded countless times back in 2018. But Asher, traumatized, had developed amnesia, blocking out everything after my death. The day his manager announced Asher was stepping away from the spotlight indefinitely, the news of Asher’s suicide sent shockwaves. Asher’s name and mine were trending again. It all started when Asher, then 32, won the coveted Best Actor award at the Starfall Awards Gala for his film “Daylight Revelry.” After a heartfelt speech about his arduous journey, Asher, in front of the entire world, pulled out a faded, yellowed photograph. In the video, Asher looked directly at the camera, his flawless face etched with a hint of helplessness. “Folks, my beloved stormed off in a huff about a month ago. Please, help me find her. Her name is Chloe Nelson.” Asher’s voice was steady, almost as if he was indulging a playful child. Or, in another sense, it was a ridiculously enviable display of affection. But the guests at the awards ceremony were dumbfounded. Because everyone knew that in 2018, a brutal stabbing incident occurred at the city’s main airport. The killer was a sociopath, and I, protecting a child separated from their family, was killed instantly. Afterward, my name was on the trending topics for a month. Naturally, so was Asher’s. They unearthed that Asher and I had been together for 25 years. Our families were neighbors since we were kids, making us childhood sweethearts. They even found adorable clips of our romance in Asher’s Ins vlogs. After my death, everyone remembered Chloe Nelson. Time always quietly washes things away, making them blurry. Five years had passed, and everyone thought Asher was fine. Though he’d lost a staggering thirty pounds a month after my death, and developed severe depression six months after, and David had found him after six suicide attempts— Still, he seemed to recover. In the second year, when spring bloomed, Asher finally logged back onto Ins after a year. He posted a selfie and typed out sixteen words in half an hour. [I’m Asher, David tells me healing means facing the light again.] Asher’s fans flooded the comments. [Brother, you’re finally back.] [So brother, you’ll eat well and gain some weight today, right?] [Texas BBQ is seriously delicious!] Among them, there were rival fan accounts trying to rain on his parade. [Is the big movie star broke?] [What about Chloe Nelson? Mr. Deeply Devoted, do you still remember her?] In a blink, that comment was buried under angry comments, countless people fiercely condemning it. But to everyone’s shock, Asher saw it. He replied: [Why wouldn’t I remember Chloe?] Sometimes, text can seem devoid of emotion, unable to truly convey a person’s thoughts or actions. At first glance, his reply seemed powerful. But in reality, on the other side of the screen, Asher’s gaze was as lost as a child’s. He asked David the same question. David’s throat tightened. As always, he found a way to lie: “Just some crazy haters, no bottom line, they’ll make up anything.” His therapist had told him that Asher’s depression hadn’t truly healed. He had symptoms like a form of trauma-induced amnesia, subconsciously forgetting things he wanted to forget. Over the past year, through depression and self-harm, he had, by a cruel twist of fate, developed a self-defense mechanism when he was unhappy. This meant Asher would sometimes be normal, and other times he would forget. Right now, he was in a state of extreme sorrow. David had worked with Asher for years. He genuinely sympathized with this man who had grown up through such hardship but loved so fiercely. So, he had sincerely asked the therapist, “Then how can I make him happier?” The answer he got was to let him do what he was good at— Acting. David had initially worried about this, but later found his worries were unnecessary. The moment Asher stepped onto a new set and received his script, he would automatically immerse himself in the role, professional and dedicated. Only two accidents had occurred in these past few years. One was three years ago when Asher played a professional assassin. Facing a diligently trembling young actor, he suddenly burst into tears. Everyone on set panicked. Sweat poured down his face, and he looked anxious, just like the day I had died. Asher’s face was pale, and he bit his lips until they bled. David couldn’t alleviate his pain, only stay with him. About three hours passed. In the dimly lit room, Asher suddenly reached out to touch the faint rays of light. David thought he would forget again and then asked him about me. But Asher asked a different question: “David, is the child Chloe saved that day doing okay?” David had met the child. The child’s parents had also wanted to see Asher. He didn’t intend to hide it: “He’s doing great. The kid’s in middle school now.” Asher lowered his gaze and nodded, his voice hoarse: “That’s good.” David could only sigh and pat his shoulder. The next moment, the man, who had been feigning strength, suddenly let down all his guard, becoming as fragile as grass. Tears blurred his vision and slid down his face, looking utterly broken. “But what about my Chloe?” “My,” Asher’s throat bobbed, “my Chloe?” But I could only watch, even more helpless than him.
The second incident was at the awards ceremony. On Ins, there were over a dozen trending topics about Asher and me, all exploding. I remember Asher’s twelve years as an actor. From the moment he debuted, he publicly announced my name on Ins. David, who discovered him, advised him to consider his career and keep his relationship private, but Asher stubbornly refused. In his second year, he starred in a low-budget show that blew up overnight. His follower count exploded by hundreds of thousands overnight, and fans quickly noticed Asher’s pinned Ins post. It read: [My beloved, Chloe Nelson.] This deterred many new fans. I, too, had selfishly worried about Asher’s career, so I felt awkward and decided to break up with him. But as soon as I finished my breakup speech to Asher on SnapChat, tears streaming down my face, a total mess, Asher came into the room with his camera, taking pictures of me. He happily kept snapping unflattering photos of me. Too furious to stand it, I chased him in my sneakers. “You’re crazy! Why are you taking pictures of me?!” I chased him until I collapsed, exhausted. Asher would annoyingly flop down beside me, saying seriously, “My dear Ms. Nelson, you don’t need to cry about how special you are to me. I’m successful because I’m dedicated and talented, not because I’m single.” I called him narcissistic and full of himself, but the very next day, Asher updated his pinned post. Late at night, he wrote a full ten thousand words. It detailed our love story, saying we had known each other for twenty years. When Asher was little, he was abused, and on his way to the police station to report it, he fainted. It was me, timidly following him, who happened to save him. Afterward, Asher’s parents, Frank and Martha Miller, were convicted of domestic violence and sentenced to prison. His grandfather, who never liked him, saw my parents’ kindness and sent him to live with us. So, he became part of our family. My parents raised him until he grew up. For twenty years, my heart was as pure as water, but Asher secretly developed feelings for me. The day college entrance exams ended was Asher’s birthday. My parents were away on a business trip, and I carefully prepared all the birthday decorations for Asher. But as soon as the lights went out, Asher confessed his feelings to me. I still remember that scene. The dim, warm light, the faint scent of cake, and the pale-skinned boy with his eyes closed, making a solemn wish. Asher had been handsome since he was a child. So, for a moment, I was mesmerized. Then he blew out the candles and opened his eyes, and our gazes met. My pounding heart became deafening. “Did you make a wish?” I snapped back to reality, instinctively blinking and asking him. “Yeah, I did.” Actually, I never usually asked, but I was at a loss for words and subconsciously asked him what he wished for. That night, I was as innocent as a lamb being led to slaughter. Asher’s throat bobbed, wanting his wish to come true. His teenage crush seemed irrepressible, and he gazed at me with stubborn devotion: “Chloe, can we be together?” “…” Clearly, I was too young and confused, so I refused. After getting into college, we specifically chose different schools, thinking we’d go our separate ways for good. Then, the second year, Asher was in a car accident and got injured. During the New Year’s holiday, my parents were busy with social engagements out of town, so taking care of the injured Asher fell to me and a nurse. Asher was silent, and I ignored him. Then, on New Year’s Eve, the nurse went home for the holiday. That night, fireworks lit up the sky. Thrilled, I helped Asher to the balcony. Before we could even ring in the new year, his faint voice came from behind me. “Why won’t you let me watch the fireworks?” His tone carried a hint of sadness. I stupidly mumbled, “Huh?” The next second, huge fireworks burst across the sky. I was practically jumping with excitement watching them, but Asher was only secretly watching me. When the fireworks stopped, I noticed. Feeling awkward, I just rubbed my nose and looked at the ground, scuffing my sneakers on the pavement, wishing the ground would just swallow me whole. But then he tilted my chin up. Under the night sky, Asher seemed dim and hurt, his voice slightly hoarse: “Chloe Nelson, am I really that annoying?” I’m usually warm-hearted, so I quickly rushed to say, “No, no, of course not!” hastily explaining that I was just awkward, not that I disliked him. Asher pursed his lips in thought: “But you never said yes to me.” At that, I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole even more. The next time we met was in our junior year. My roommates were all eagerly pairing off, leaving me as the only single one. In true “wing-woman” fashion, they started parading their brothers’ profiles like treasures, and one even made a whole presentation for me. It was my social anxiety nightmare. I was stressing about it during Thanksgiving break when Asher coincidentally brought me some homemade cookies my mom had made. So, I pulled him over, grinning, and introduced him to my roommates: “See? This is my boyfriend, alright?” I gave him a quick pinch, a silent warning not to blow our cover. Asher, a born actor, played along perfectly. His smile was practically bursting, and he even offered to treat everyone to a fun three-day visit to the Drama Academy during the break. My roommates immediately ditched their boyfriends to come see the handsome couple. And Asher and I played temporary lovers for three days. On the last day, Asher treated everyone to dinner. That night, after a hearty meal, I was the only one completely sober, because Asher had shown ultra-possessiveness and wouldn’t let me drink. After I saw off my dear roommates one by one, Asher, seemingly drunk, collapsed onto me, conveniently dropping his apartment keys. I told him he was totally taking advantage of me. His eyes were beautiful, and when they turned red from the alcohol, his trembling lashes were even more captivating. “So, are you just going to leave me for dead?” Okay, completely smitten. The next year, Asher and I officially became a couple. After graduation, Asher frequently auditioned and acted. I remember in his third year, he landed a background role with five lines. We celebrated all night. I told him his future was so bright. In his fourth year, David discovered him, and by a stroke of luck, he starred in a low-budget, independent film that blew up overnight. So, at the very end of his long post, he wrote: [I won’t abandon the shoes that fit me best just because I’ve walked a long way, or forget the mud she’s cleaned off countless times. And I won’t lose my original intention just because I want fame. My original intention is Chloe Nelson. I’ve loved her for so many years.] That’s why Asher was hailed as the ultimate ‘relationship goals’ celebrity. I read his statement, my eyes welling up with tears, and jokingly posted on my social media: [Well written, but who exactly was your ‘shoe’ again?] Asher replied helplessly: [Me.] For all these years, Asher steadfastly kept his promise. He loved filming and often turned our lives into vlogs for his fans to watch. I was even dubbed the most envied girlfriend in the industry, people saying we were both one of a kind. Some even binge-watched our entire relationship history overnight and commented: [Girl, if you two ever break up, I’ll never believe in love again.]
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