In the third year after Liam Hayes lost his memory, I finally agreed to a divorce. After his memory loss, he was forever trapped in the suffocating humidity of that particular spring when he was seventeen. Back then, his heart belonged to Chloe Miller, the good girl. And I? I was his sworn enemy, the one who always made him frown. Until the three-year survival period for my heart failure ran out. I stood before the ruins of that old house, damaged in the earthquake all those years ago, and it hit me. My Liam, the one I truly loved, might have died in that earthquake years ago. I had loved the wrong person. “Mr. Hayes, happy divorce!” “If you don’t agree to the amicable divorce, there’s nothing more to discuss. We’ll just have to meet in court!” His face remained stiff, as usual. He reached out, trying to snatch the divorce papers off the table. I smiled, doing something totally out of character, and pushed the papers back to him. “Already signed.” Liam froze. He looked at me with a disbelief that was almost comical. “What?” “I said, the divorce agreement is already signed. This is the property division statement. Take a look, any objections?” Liam took the divorce papers, half-believing, half-doubting. My delicate handwriting was indeed inked at the bottom. He flipped through the property division statement, then looked up at me. “You only want that old villa?” “That house was practically condemned after the big earthquake three years ago. It’s unlivable, doesn’t even have a property deed!” Maybe, in the past, if Liam had said that, I would have been furious, stomping my feet. I would have stubbornly argued with him. *That’s not condemned. That’s our wedding home, the one we bought together. You just don’t remember.* But now, I just smiled peacefully at him. “Is that so? Doesn’t matter. Just leave it to me.” “If you have no objections, sign it, and we can head to the County Clerk’s Office.” Liam across from me fell silent for a moment, then abruptly stood up and walked out. He moved fast, not even pausing to listen to me speak, as if he were running away. “I have an urgent matter. Let’s talk later.” I watched his retreating back, feeling a strange sense of detachment. I shook my head with a bitter smile. Still the same as always, couldn’t even tell a convincing lie. His phone screen didn’t even light up, and he couldn’t even look me in the eye before claiming he had something urgent. Outside, the sky was draped in endless dreary clouds. It looked like another typical downpour of the rainy season. Still, I wanted to go out. I had my driver take me to the mall. I needed to pick up my wedding dress. “Miss Blackwood, your wedding dress has been fully restored. Would you like to try it on?” I ran my hand over the soft fabric. The stitching was perfect. You couldn’t see a single trace of the damage it had sustained when the house collapsed. This was the dress Liam had picked out himself, right before the earthquake. *“I had it custom-made. Do you like it?”* *“I knew you’d love this style. You’ve always loved wearing spaghetti straps since college.”* *“That’s why back then, I hated it when you’d bug me to tutor you in advanced math. The humid spring was hot and stuffy, and you’d always be walking around in front of me in those little tank tops. Your skin was so fair it practically glowed, and it drove me crazy.”* … Suddenly, a tear splashed onto the back of my hand. Then, tears flowed like an unending rain. I choked back a sob. “I won’t be needing it.” “Please pack it up for me and mail it to this address.” As I was about to leave, I didn’t expect to run into Liam and Chloe. Chloe was trying on a wedding dress. Liam looked distracted, sitting on a nearby sofa, frowning at his phone screen. But whenever Chloe turned to speak, he would always respond gently with a word or two. I had no intention of disturbing their happiness. I lifted my foot, ready to leave. But Chloe suddenly called out to me. She clutched the wedding dress, looking a little nervous. “Riley!”
I had no choice but to stop and greet her. “Chloe? What a coincidence.” “You have good taste. That wedding dress really suits you.” Liam saw me and instinctively stood up. He started to explain to me. “I…” I shook my head, smiling, signaling that it was fine. “It’s okay, I understand.” “Picking out a wedding dress is a top priority, and as the groom, of course you should be here. Since you’re busy today, let’s do it tomorrow. We’ll go to the County Clerk’s Office and get things done. If we drag this out any longer, I might not have the time.” Chloe tilted her head, a hint of surprise in her voice. “Riley, you finally agreed?” Then, as if she suddenly realized her tone sounded a little too triumphant, she apologized to me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I just…” I chuckled, walking over to straighten her veil. “You don’t need to apologize. I’ve just recently had a change of heart. If the twenty-eight-year-old Liam had shown up when he was seventeen, with all his memories, I definitely wouldn’t have given him up to you either.” “Because love is selfish.” By the time I got into the car, it was already raining. I sat in the back, then spoke suddenly. “To the old villa, please.” The driver instinctively started to turn his head to advise me against it. Because of my heart failure, my body had been particularly frail recently. Forget getting caught in the rain, I couldn’t even stand a slight breeze. It seemed even the smallest illness could become my death knell. But seeing the determined look on my face, he eventually said nothing. The security guard at the old earthquake site, Mr. Henderson, already knew me. The moment he saw my license plate, he promptly lifted the barrier. He was a widower who had lost his wife in the earthquake. He watched the rain, murmuring. “It’s raining. I’m afraid some of the old houses might collapse.” I stood in the rain, umbrella in hand, looking at what used to be our wedding home. Three years ago, I was abroad on a business trip when a major earthquake hit the city. When Liam was rushed to the hospital, covered in blood, I sat numbly outside the emergency room. The hospital walls heard more fervent prayers than any church. At that moment, I wished, I swore I would give up ten, twenty, even thirty years of my life, just for Liam to wake up. Later, I thought fate had finally favored me. Now, I just felt that everything was destiny, and I had no control over any of it. I felt like a wax figure, slowly burning away these past three years, leaving only half of myself. Yet my thoughts were still fixated on the time when Liam and I were most in love. As if to confirm the security guard’s prediction, just as I was leaving. Our wedding home collapsed. With a thunderous crash, the already precarious walls crumbled down. I turned back to look. What was once recognizable as our home was now just a pile of rubble. When Liam walked out of the mall, he received a phone call. On the other end was a German man, speaking broken English, sounding very excited. “Hey, Liam! I finally got a hold of you.” “I finished your ring a long time ago, just as you requested, but then you never came to pick it up. I heard something bad happened on your end. How are you doing now? I’ll ship it to you.” Liam’s mind was suddenly slammed by the words “ring.” It was like something was trying to break free from deep within his memory. A single tear fell, calmly, from his eye. He wiped it away, then replied quickly. “I’ll send you the address.” Liam had never felt such panic. His mind flickered with chaotic, unclear memories. Strange yet familiar, the last image was of my eyes, red from crying, by his hospital bed. He felt like he was on the verge of remembering. Perhaps right after he saw that ring. But suddenly, a text message popped up on his phone: “You have successfully booked your divorce registration application at the City County Clerk’s Office. Please arrive on time!”
The day we were scheduled to file for divorce was a rare sunny day during the rainy season. Last night, my heart palpitations were severe, and I hadn’t slept well. I had to put on extra makeup to cover my exhausted face. Liam was uncharacteristically late. Just as I checked my phone for the third time to confirm the time, he finally arrived. I breathed a sigh of relief and spoke to him. “Let’s go in. Good thing we haven’t missed our number.” “There are quite a few people getting divorced, so we might have to wait a bit.” Liam looked at my face, then suddenly leaned in close. “Blackwood Industries has been doing really well lately, and your… convenient brother will be back in the country soon. You shouldn’t have to work so hard at the company. Why do you look so pale recently?” “Actually, if you don’t want a divorce, maybe we could just…” I held up a finger, pushing him away. “No, let’s do it today. If we drag this out any longer, I truly won’t have the time.” My eagerness seemed to annoy Liam, and he started to make wild guesses. “It’s just a divorce. Why won’t you have time?” “Did you fall in love with someone else?” His words made me a little angry too. “No divorce? So you want Chloe to wear a wedding dress and follow you around like a mistress? Whether I love someone else or not, haven’t you had any idea these past three years? And besides, haven’t you always wanted a divorce? Now that I agree, why are you getting mad at me?” “I love you. I’m letting you go. What else are you not satisfied with?” I don’t know which sentence pierced Liam. His emotions flared up even more violently. He grabbed my wrist, accusing me. “You’re lying!” “You don’t love me at all!” I froze, looking at him. His eyes were red, his voice filled with grievance. “Riley Blackwood, you love the twenty-eight-year-old Liam. Not *me*!” “From the day I woke up, my heart recognized you before my memory did. But why, why do you always look at me like that? As if you’re always looking *through* me, at someone else! I’m not him!” “Riley Blackwood, when will you finally realize! I’m not the *him* from your memories!” Tears streamed down Liam’s face. His expression was fragile, something I’d never seen before. “I didn’t experience five years with you! I didn’t tutor you in advanced math, I didn’t take you to see the sunrise on a snowy mountain, I didn’t order a ring for you.” “You don’t love me; you’re just using me as his substitute.” I stared at him blankly, able only to offer a weak explanation. “But you are the same person.” He slowly released my hand, his gaze complex. “Riley Blackwood, I always thought I hated you. Hated you for binding me to you, hated you for forcing your past onto me, hated you for being stuck in memories you couldn’t escape. But only now do I understand.” “I don’t hate you; I just loved you so painfully.” “In the end, I just hated that you didn’t love *me* enough.” Liam said nothing more. He didn’t agree to the divorce. He turned and left. I sat in the back of the car, staring blankly, remembering the wedding home that had collapsed yesterday. Stubbornly, I wanted to go see it again, but this time the barrier wasn’t raised in advance. The security guard I saw was a completely unfamiliar face. I asked about Mr. Henderson. The man took a drag from his cigarette and sighed. “You mean Old Man Dave? He’s gone.” “He said his wife was afraid of thunderstorms. She went to visit a grave during the rain last night, fell, and passed away on the spot.” He looked at me, advising. “Little lady, you should come to this place less often from now on.” “You can come back, but there’s no one left here.” The security guard’s words hit me like a heavy punch to the heart. It dawned on me, belatedly: my three years of tangled love, hate, and longing for Liam, and this return to our old haunts, were nothing but a futile attempt to cling to a ghost. The person I loved had died in that earthquake three years ago. Liam was rescued, but what truly died was my love. I didn’t get out of the car. I had the driver turn around. “Let’s go back. I won’t be coming here again.” *Boom!* Thunder rumbled in the distance. It was during the third year of this muggy spring season that I finally accepted Liam’s amnesia. That very night, I was rushed into the emergency room due to heart failure. 5 Marcus’s sudden trip abroad was also because of my illness. Cardiac internal medicine started late in our country, and research in this area was still lacking. So Marcus chose to go abroad to help me contact doctors, but there hadn’t been any success.
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