I’d been with the crime lord for six years. But on my birthday, he brought home another girl. He was covered in blood, and the dainty girl was tucked safely in his arms. From that moment on, he, who had indulged my every whim, never spared me another glance. Everyone assumed I was heartbroken, utterly devastated by my unrequited love for Julian. I just smiled, fiddling with the watch on my wrist. I was an undercover agent for the police, planted deep within the West Coast’s largest criminal enterprise. All these years I’d spent by his side were to put him behind bars. How could I possibly… fall for him? Late at night, the mansion was still blazing with lights. I sat on the sofa, relighting the candles on the cake. “Anya, don’t wait up.” “The boss said he won’t be coming…” The lighter clicked open and shut in my hand, a flicker of flame springing to life then dying. I stared at the tiny fire. “If he doesn’t come back, I’ll just keep waiting.” “He promised to spend every birthday with me. What kind of excuse is breaking that promise?” “…” But in reality, the clock on the wall already showed three in the morning. He wasn’t coming back. I was stuck in the mansion with a whole bunch of his men, just waiting. To those who knew, I was waiting for him to celebrate my birthday. To those who didn’t, it looked like I was waiting for him to start a war. Finally, just a second before the clock struck four AM, the roar of a car engine echoed from downstairs. “Anya! The boss is back!” Someone rushed upstairs, shouting the news to me. I stood up, walking to the banister and looking down. Yes, he was back. I frowned, asking the man who stood downstairs, watching me with an unreadable expression. “Julian, who’s the woman in your arms?”
Julian had a long knife scar, tracing from his eyebrow down to his cheekbone. It was still bleeding freely. Looking at it now, it only added a touch of savagery to his otherwise refined and handsome face. I reached for some gauze to dab at his wound, but he caught my wrist. “Anya, have I been too lenient with you all these years, hmm?” His fingers traced my pulse point, lingering. That’s just how he was; all his ruthlessness and threats hidden beneath tender gestures. I lowered my eyes. “Lenient? I don’t think so.” He chuckled softly, his thumb rubbing my radial bone, light and languid. “Really? Then why did you call so many people to my house…?” “Someone might think I’m running a mob.” As if he *wasn’t* a mob boss. He clawed his way up from a life of constant violence and bloodshed, his empire built on a mountain of bodies and broken lives. Oh, but now he’d gone legit, transformed into a celebrated young entrepreneur. The newspapers were full of praise, calling him a rising star. It made me sick to my stomach. “Who’s the girl you brought back?” I didn’t struggle hard, just enough for him to release my hand. And successfully changed the subject. But he simply arched an eyebrow, carefully avoiding my gaze. “None of your business.” He stood up, taking the gauze from my hand, then leaned down to press a kiss on the corner of my lips. “You have time to worry about what woman I bring home…” “But no time to worry about how I got this wound, huh?” He finished, biting my neck lightly, almost as punishment. “All that effort for nothing.”
The wind in Arcadia Bay was particularly strong these days. Or perhaps it was just this abandoned building I was in, letting drafts in from every corner. In the distance, I could faintly hear the sounds of punching and kicking, but someone beside me offered a cigarette. I pushed it away. “Julian doesn’t like me smoking.” … “Find out everything you can about the girl Julian brought back last night.” I turned to the man beside me. He’d been with me since I joined the organization. They called him Leo Hayes, for his rank, but I usually called him Leo. He’d been with me so long, he’d started saying things others wouldn’t dare. “Anya, sigh…” “You’re the smartest woman I know.” “So, you should understand that love, that kind of thing, shouldn’t be a part of our lives.” “…” He stood beside me, hands shoved in his pockets, watching the desolate, ruined lot with me. “Which one of us hasn’t got blood on our hands?” “The boss might be going legit now, but he’ll never marry someone with blood on their hands like us.” “We’ve all taken the fall for him, and he treats us well for it, sure. But a proper, legitimate place in his life? A title? That’s never going to happen…” Yes, Julian trusted me so deeply, pampered me so much all these years, precisely because I’d taken the fall for him. Over the years, the blood on my hands was substantial enough that sometimes, in the dead of night, when I looked at myself, I saw the vengeful spirits coming for me. Sometimes, I even forgot my true identity. An undercover agent, a nail driven deep into the dark, a long, deadly fuse. Thirteen years of my life, bought with the blood of my comrades. No one came to the abandoned building, and the sounds of fighting had long since stopped. I looked up, gazing at the bright white clouds against the clear sky. I didn’t care how many women Julian had; I was only afraid. Afraid that decades of careful preparation would be ruined by an unpredictable factor. “Come on, let’s go meet the little girl he brought back.” I turned to the man behind me.
Unlike the lingering cries in the abandoned building, Julian’s mansion was quiet and peaceful. As I entered, I saw a girl with braided hair, lying on the sofa reading a book. Seeing me, she startled, immediately becoming reserved. “You…” The girl’s eyes darted away when she saw me, then she lowered her lashes. “Are you… the boss’s wife?” I was surprised by her words and sat down beside her. “No.” “Oh…” The girl shrank back into the corner, a hint of disappointment in her eyes. “I thought only a woman as beautiful and outstanding as you could be worthy of Julian.” “…” There was a wide-eyed, almost childish innocence in her gaze. I grimaced inwardly. Another girl completely taken in by Julian’s facade. Just as I was about to reach out and pat her head, someone suddenly called out. “Anya, the boss said you’re not to touch Ms. Carter.” The guard appeared quickly, stepping in front of me. If not for the lingering respect, he would’ve practically dragged me away. “Please, don’t come to this mansion again. It belongs to Ms. Carter now.” The girl, startled, curled up even tighter, and I simply raised an eyebrow. Tsk, tsk, such a high level of protection. “Fine, I’m leaving.” Julian had brought back many women over the years, but she was the first to be protected like this.
“Anya, this is all the information we could find.” In the car, Leo leaned over to hand me a file. The information was sparse, but even this little bit was probably what Julian *wanted* me to find. Ms. Carter’s full name was Lily Carter. She was three years younger than Julian. And she grew up in… the same area as Julian. Before Julian brought her back, she worked at an orphanage. Her record was spotless, practically screaming “innocent hothouse flower.” “The boss seems… different with her.” Leo whispered in my ear. Indeed, this Lily Carter—could she really be Julian’s ‘white moonlight’—that pure, untainted love in his dark, twisted world? I bit my nail, thinking. As far as I knew, Julian had very few weaknesses left. He had no parents, clawed his way up from the bottom, even joined this organization later than I did. Young, yet ruthless. I’d watched him climb, then stuck with him, choosing the right man, and also the wrong one. Right, because I became his confidante; cutting me off would be like severing his own arm. Wrong, because… I hadn’t anticipated his explosive rise. By the time I realized it, it was too late. My thoughts were interrupted by Leo’s next words. He clapped my shoulder. “The boss said…” “He wants to eat your cooking.” “…” If Julian wanted to eat, I had to cook for him. I offered a slight smile and told the driver to turn around. To the grocery store, to buy ingredients.
The mansion where Lily Carter stayed was just one of Julian’s many insignificant properties. The place I was in now was the closest thing to Julian’s “home.” A simple apartment building, yet under the watchful eyes of countless bodyguards. I carried the groceries upstairs alone, then washed vegetables, boiled water, and cooked. Julian had eaten every delicacy imaginable, so why would he be so fond of my homemade food? But every time he watched me cook, his gaze would stick to me. It truly gave the illusion of a wife and husband, making my stomach churn. This time, I was preparing fish on the cutting board when he suddenly embraced me from behind. I hadn’t even realized he was there. “Don’t touch me, I smell fishy.” “Fishy where?” He chuckled, brushing my hair aside, playfully toying with my earring. I turned on the faucet, washing the fish blood from my hands. “Not cooking anymore? We can do it after, if you want.” His kisses rained down on my neck. I shifted uncomfortably, half-resisting, half-yielding. Until my gaze met his eyes—bright, fragmented. Even his smile was a practiced, dangerously charming thing. I lowered my eyes, finally pushing him away. “Are you mad?” He asked, slightly teasing, pinching my cheek. “Didn’t give you a birthday, and now you’ve turned into a little pufferfish?” “Who’s a pufferfish…?” That was a genuine retort, but he just tapped my nose. “You, my little pufferfish. All puffed up and prickly, stubborn, and… heartbreaking.” “…” The marble countertop was still clean. He lifted me and placed me on it. He leaned down and kissed me, everything around me spiraling into chaos. I couldn’t breathe, my fingers digging into his sleeve. Until he finally pulled back, smiling down at me. I suddenly realized I was still so young; I didn’t even understand what his smile meant. “Do you know why I was so injured when I brought Lily Carter back that day?” “Because she had something interesting.” He pulled a photo from somewhere, handing it to me. I smoothed it out, staring at the image. “Anya, don’t you think this is fascinating?” He spoke next to my ear, his soft chuckle clearly audible. “She said she’d seen you. She called you… Officer Miller.” The photo showed me in a police uniform, posing with children from an orphanage. He leaned down, kissing the tip of my nose. “Hm? Sweetheart, care to explain?” “…” I looked down, staring at the photo. The tofu soup on the stove was still bubbling softly. He watched me silently, as if not wanting to miss a single one of my expressions. After a long moment, I chuckled, lifting my hand to punch his arm gently. “What’s the meaning of this? Julian, have you forgotten…?” “I graduated from the police academy, I just got… kicked out later.” When they first set up my cover, they’d considered the possibility of my police academy past surfacing. So the department simply gave me the identity of someone permanently expelled from the academy for disciplinary issues. He looked down at me, his eyes dark. I was pressed tightly against the countertop. I wondered if this incredibly paranoid lunatic would pick up the knife from the cutting board and stab me. Until he let out a soft laugh. He rubbed my waist, not too gently, not too roughly. “Oh? Really?” “My apologies, I completely forgot.” “…” He released his grip on me, smiling easily. He even had the leisure to take the ladle from the pot and stir the soup. “Dinner won’t be long, will it?” “I’m so hungry, Anya.” Even as he said it, his gaze was fixed intently on me. I pressed my lips together, straightened my clothes, and nodded. As I smoothed my shirt, I understood why he’d rubbed my waist just now. My back was already drenched in sweat.
That meal, at least for me, was tasteless. In fact, every day I spent with Julian was tasteless. I longed to put those silver handcuffs on this man’s wrists. I thought about it every single day, to the point of madness. Until a light, lazy voice broke my thoughts. “Anya, a shipment will be docking at East Harbor tomorrow. I need you to handle it personally.” I looked up, meeting the man’s eyes across the dinner table. “The buyer is very cautious. Go alone; don’t bring anyone.” “…” I paused, subconsciously asking him. “What kind of shipment?” He stared at me, smiling mysteriously. I knew then that I shouldn’t ask. Julian was always like this, even keeping things from me. Otherwise, collecting evidence these past few years wouldn’t have been so slow. I nodded, picked up my bag, and headed for the door. “Okay, if there’s nothing else, I’ll head out. I…” But as I passed him, he caught my wrist. “Why are you so distracted today?” His fingers casually brushed my pulse point, showing no intention of letting me go. I managed a bitter smile. “I just finished dealing with a subordinate this afternoon. I’m probably… a little tired.” He didn’t speak, but he also didn’t release me. The room fell completely silent. I could only feel his thumb stroking my wrist, again and again. Until his voice softened. “Stay tonight, hmm?” In that instant, my first thought was to refuse. “No, I have things to do tomorrow… Mmph.” Then I was abruptly pulled into his arms, pressed against the dining table, his kisses raining down on my neck. The dim, yellow light flickered, and in my panic, I met his eyes. He was always like this when he was aroused. Controlled, yet his eyes were red. Frenzied, yet… restrained.
I barely slept all night. So, it was no surprise that I woke up late the next day. The bedsheets were tangled, and the man was no longer beside me. I got up, then tried to clear my chaotic thoughts, and took a shower. The deal Julian mentioned was scheduled for midnight tonight at East Harbor. So I still had time to get ready, but before that, I needed to think about two things. First, what exactly was Lily Carter to Julian, and what was her motive? If she truly was Julian’s ‘white moonlight,’ that would be great. Then Julian would have a weakness, and an enemy with a weakness would be far less threatening. If she wasn’t, then it would be a huge problem. She was coming for *me*, trying to take me down. Why, I didn’t know. Whether she could become an ally, I also didn’t know. Second, had my identity been exposed to Julian? This was my biggest fear. Julian was utterly unpredictable; no one knew his next move. Everyone in the game feared him because he’d invite you for tea while he was simultaneously plunging a knife into your back. As I pondered, my hand instinctively went to the phone card hidden in the inner pocket of my bag. This was given to me by the department—my last resort. That year, Chief Jenkins had clapped my shoulder and told me that if there ever came a day when I couldn’t continue my undercover work, I should call this number. The department would do everything to protect me, even if it meant pulling me out of a wolf’s den. But if I made that call, everything would be for nothing. Everything I’d sacrificed. Six years of endurance, the blood of my comrades, every step I’d taken against justice. I would become a criminal in the eyes of the law, because all those sacrifices would have been for naught. I dreamed of putting handcuffs on Julian’s wrists, I dreamed of it constantly. After flipping that phone card countless times, I finally closed my eyes. And put it back in the inner pocket.
Eleven thirty PM. My car sped down the empty highway. Even before arriving, I could almost smell the salty, damp air of the sea. I parked my car, facing the port. Several black sedans were already there. Their headlights glared directly at me. To be honest, it was impossible for me not to notice something off about this mission. But how could I defy Julian? Defy him, and I’d be exposed. I got out of the car, hands in my trench coat pockets, squinting at the man sitting on the hood of one of the cars. He was my contact for this deal. They called him Big Roman on the streets; true to his name, he was ruthless and insane. And I heard he had a lot of dirty business… “Looks like my ‘delivery’… arrived perfectly?” He swaggered down from the car, sizing me up. His gaze made me uncomfortable, but I still calmly handed him the box from the back seat. “The goods are here. Check them yourself.” He merely raised an eyebrow, looking at me. “Ms. Miller, could you please open the box for me?” His eyes were still glued to me, a leering smile on his face. I think that’s when I truly knew something was wrong. But with those car headlights aimed directly at me, where could I go? The box was opened, revealing heavy stones inside. His hoarse, perverse laugh pierced my eardrums. “Heh heh, Ms. Miller…” “Don’t you understand yet? The ‘goods’…” “Are you.”
“Julian! I want to see Julian!” “You can’t do this to me! Let me see Julian!” “Julian! Julian! Julian!” The iron shackles on my wrists rattled loudly, but the only reply was the drip, drip, drip of water from the corners of the room. I swallowed, realizing my throat was raw from screaming. I huddled in the corner, not because I was scared, but because… I was cold. Yes, I’d suspected Julian was onto me for a while. But I truly couldn’t understand why he would sell me out so decisively. Putting aside any feelings we might have had over the years, just for all the things I’d done for him, he should have trusted me more. He just sold me out? Because of a few words from Lily Carter? I instinctively started biting my nails, but the more I thought, the more tangled everything became. The only thing I could be certain of in this mess was that I couldn’t die. I couldn’t die, no matter what, because the mission wasn’t complete. So now, the only one who could save me was Julian. That’s why I kept shouting his name. I couldn’t decipher his feelings for me all these years, but one thing was clear: no one would willingly spend five birthdays with a stranger. Especially not a monster like Julian, who had lost all humanity. So, even if it was a gamble, I had to try. As I relentlessly screamed his name again, someone finally opened the iron door. “Seriously, aren’t you tired of screaming?” “Julian’s not coming to save you! Damn it, if the boss wasn’t planning to sell your organs.” “I’d really like to have some fun with you.” “…” I gasped, staring intently at the man. “Let me see Julian…” “Damn it, I told you there’s no…” Just as the man’s foot was about to kick me, someone suddenly stopped him. It was… Big Roman. “Let me see Julian! I have something to tell him!” There was no response, so I raised my voice. “I said I want to see Julian! Julian!” My handcuffs rattled with a loud clang, until at one point, a low, calm voice came from above me. I stopped. “What’s all the noise about?” “Anya, who are you trying to charm?” “…” I truly hadn’t expected Julian to be here. So, the moment I heard his voice, I froze for no reason. Not even the tips of his shoes were dusty. I, covered in dirt, had to crane my neck to look at his pristine figure. “Julian, why do you suspect me?” “I’ve been with you all these years. Why would you suspect me without even asking?” “Did you ever consider that Lily Carter, she… she framed me…” I tried to make my expression as sincere as possible, until he knelt down in front of me. His fingers gently caressed my cheek. Anyone watching would think he was comforting his lover. “Even now, I still find myself going soft for you, Anya.” “Anya, blame it on… you provoking me.” The hand caressing my jaw slowly moved to my neck, and he gradually tightened his grip. I slowly found it harder to breathe, staring into his eyes, just staring. They were like a dark, bottomless abyss, revealing no depths, no ravenous beast lurking within. Until he suddenly released me. I fell to the floor, coughing violently. Through my blurry vision, I heard his voice, directed at Big Roman. “She’s all yours to play with.” “…” I coughed, my eyes fixed on his pristine pant leg. Before he left, those were the last words I spoke to him. “Lily Carter definitely lied to you.” “Why won’t you… believe me?” He left. After the resounding clang of the lock, the basement returned to silence. It felt like everything was over, and before me lay a path leading to hell. But was it truly over?
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