Everyone called me Declan Thorne’s most pathetic doormat. Even he believed it. But what he didn’t know was that I only chased him, fawned over him, all because of another man. The moment I received my overseas study admission letter, I was done. Completely done. After graduation, I got an offer from a prestigious firm back home, only to be locked in the office by my new, parachuted-in boss. His eyes were bloodshot, and he pressed against me, looking all teary-eyed and wounded. “You actually dared to come back?” When I went to find Declan Thorne with my admission letter, he was laughing with his roommate in the hallway. One of his roommates, Leo, slung an arm around his shoulder, and with a snarky, mischievous grin, said, “Declan, are you seriously not going to consider Harper?” “Out of all your admirers, she’s the prettiest, and she loves to follow you around all day.” “If you don’t like her, just pass her over to me.” Declan casually swiped through his phone, glanced at Leo, and replied, “I’m not bored yet. When I am, you can have her.” Then he pulled out a pendant I’d given him, swinging it back and forth. “She’s like a pathetic puppy, always at my beck and call.” “Last week during that huge downpour, I just mentioned I didn’t have an umbrella, and she actually rushed over from off-campus to bring me one.” “Oh, and that time Seraphina and I went hiking and got stuck on the mountain, she stubbornly climbed all night, completely on her own, just to find us.” “And another time, we went to Disneyland. Seraphina went back home later, and I went to look for her, forgetting to tell Harper. I swear, she waited from morning till night, standing there. Hahahaha, I nearly died laughing.” …… He listed every time I chased him, asked him out, and then how he’d ditched me, showing off to his roommate and trampling all over me in the process. They roared with laughter, slapping their knees, while another guy leaned casually against the hallway wall, his long legs slightly bent, eyes downcast. He quietly said, “You’ll regret it.” That guy was Caleb Vance, the one who told me to chase Declan Thorne. Declan bent closer, staring into Caleb’s eyes, then paused. “How could I regret it? I’ve never even liked her.” He lowered his head, muttering to himself, yet it sounded like he wanted Caleb to hear. “The only person I’ve ever liked is Seraphina.” He suddenly stood up straight, hands in his pockets, kicking at the tiles with an almost vengeful energy. “Caleb, haven’t you always hated me being with Harper?” Caleb didn’t answer, just gave him a meaningful look and walked away.
I stood around the corner, clutching my admission letter. I’d originally intended to say goodbye to Declan, but now it seemed completely unnecessary. My pursuit of Declan started three years ago when I was working at a bar and nearly dragged into a private room. Caleb Vance, who was nursing his sorrows at the bar, saved me. I guessed he was probably upset about Declan pursuing Seraphina at the time. Caleb and Seraphina had grown up together, childhood sweethearts, practically inseparable since they were kids. But then Declan suddenly appeared and captured all of Seraphina’s attention. Perhaps Caleb wanted to use me to drive a wedge between Declan and Seraphina. Out of gratitude and a desire to repay him, I agreed to his request to chase Declan. I only had one condition: I’d chase him, but any expenses incurred would have to be reimbursed by Caleb. Later, it took me a year to stand out from Declan’s numerous, nameless admirers. At that time, he and Seraphina were having a disagreement. Seraphina wanted to study abroad, while Declan wanted her to stay by his side and get married right after graduation. Seraphina refused, saying her world wasn’t just Declan; she had her own path to walk. Anything that became a stumbling block on that path, she would remove. She also said she wanted to pursue her dreams and wouldn’t stop or give them up for anyone, even if that person was important to her now. If Declan loved her, he shouldn’t clip her wings and cage her, claiming it was love. Because of Seraphina’s insistence, they eventually fell out, and that’s when I saw my chance and swooped in. Every time I asked him out, he never refused. He even deliberately took me to places where Seraphina would see us, as if to say, “I’m not exclusively yours.” If it weren’t for Caleb, I would have *loved* to slap him silly. How could he say he loved Seraphina while openly flirting with someone else? Even though I was “the other person,” deep down, I felt Seraphina deserved someone better. Perhaps she was destined to shine in her own field. Seraphina was the undisputed queen of our humanities department, determined to become a diplomat. Even the professors in our department praised her endlessly, calling her a rare talent. She was incredibly knowledgeable, highly cultured, and had amazing adaptability. And as it turned out, the queen wasn’t just beautiful; she was kind-hearted too. She paid no mind to Declan’s little displays, even telling him not to hurt others because of his own unhappiness. When she found out we were in the same major, she shared many study tips and resources with me. She even gave Declan a meaningful look and earnestly told me, “Don’t let a relationship interfere with what you should be learning at this stage.” “Otherwise, you’ll eventually regret it.” I loved hearing that, but I still pitied Caleb and Declan a little. Eventually, Seraphina really did go abroad. Declan was constantly surrounded by new women – a revolving door of temporary flings, but Declan was always the constant. I approached Caleb, thinking since they’d broken up, I didn’t need to continue chasing Declan. He said, “You need to put some effort into it and make him fall for you. I’m afraid he’ll keep bothering Seraphina while she’s abroad.” So, I really did put in the effort. I crossed campus to bring him breakfast, saved seats for him, and sat through his classes. When he was upset, I’d try every trick in the book to cheer him up, even making a fool of myself. Once, he got into a fight playing basketball and busted his head, needing stitches. I was on my period, doubled over in pain, but his call came in, and I immediately dragged my pale self, clutching my stomach, to the hospital to take care of him. Every holiday, I’d meticulously prepare small gifts and handwritten letters, even though he’d always disdainfully toss them in the trash. His stepfather’s son accidentally broke a gift his mother gave him before she passed away. I scoured countless repair shops, finally finding a replacement in a small, obscure shop downtown. I was in such a hurry on the way back that I didn’t watch the road and was hit by a speeding car, injuring my leg. I was hospitalized for several days. It was because of this incident that my “relationship” with Declan took a step forward, though it only meant he was willing to spare me an extra glance. When Caleb found out, he even joked, “You were born to be a doormat, weren’t you?” “Just don’t actually fall in love with him in the end. You know, without me telling you, that it’s never going to happen between you two.” Of course, I knew. Over the next two years, I realized more deeply with each passing day that we lived in two different worlds. And Seraphina was indeed still in his heart. He’d call me when he was drunk, murmuring “Seraphina.” When people spoke ill of Seraphina, he’d get a dark look on his face and, without a word, beat them up so badly they ended up in the hospital. He’d spend every evening flipping through old photos of him and Seraphina, over and over again. And he’d often ditch me when we had plans, choosing instead to fly abroad to find Seraphina. It happened so many, many times, so often that I grew completely accustomed to it. So much so that whenever we made plans, I stopped bothering to get dressed up. Instead, I’d grab my study materials and head to the library. Because I knew he’d always have some excuse. Thankfully, I wasn’t really in love with him.
I had played the doormat for three years, just as Caleb requested. I figured it was enough to repay him for helping me all those years ago. During those three years, even my own roommates turned hostile, constantly pulling petty stunts behind my back. Like tossing my laundry from the line downstairs or secretly deleting my project assignments from my laptop. Every time I was nominated for an award, they’d report me to the Dean’s office. For instance, my overseas study application was almost rejected because of their reports. They claimed I had inappropriate behavior and cheated on exams. But they didn’t know that while they were out having fun, I was holed up in the library studying. They thought I was out chasing Declan when I was actually furiously writing in the study room. They knew nothing, only saw the surface, and yet they wanted to effortlessly destroy three years of my hard work. Fortunately, my homeroom teacher and course instructors vouched for me and explained the situation. But just when I thought everything had settled and I could smoothly go abroad, an unexpected turn occurred. A few days before I was supposed to leave, my professor told me my spot had been taken. My mind was a chaotic mess, my head empty, and a sharp pain in my stomach left me feeling cold all over. Declan, with messy hair and wearing flip-flops, appeared before me. Without a word, he grabbed my arm, squeezing it as if to break my bones. He gritted his teeth and asked, “Are *you* going abroad too?” For the first time, I ignored him, completely consumed by the news that I couldn’t go. Tears started to fall, uncontrollably. I hadn’t shed a single tear in three years, despite all the injustice, mockery, and pain I’d endured. I tried to tell myself that crying was useless, but the tears just wouldn’t stop. I was a slow learner. Anything I wanted to achieve, I always had to put in more effort than others. That’s why I never dared to stop for those three years. I was terrified my GPA would be lower than others, afraid my abilities would be inferior, afraid I wouldn’t place well in competitions. Before every project presentation, I’d practice endlessly, my voice hoarse, my mouth sore. All I wanted was to avoid mistakes, to do a good job, and leave a good impression on my professors. But now, it was all gone.
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