I saw Liam, my cop husband, who had been missing for two years. He didn’t remember me. When he wrapped his arm around his new fiancée and looked at me, his eyes were cold and guarded. I forced a smile, swallowed the bitterness, and said nothing. Because the hypnosis that had caused his amnesia two years ago? I was the one who performed it. Liam burst into my life, completely out of the blue. Tonight, my department at the hospital had a dinner party. I’d had too much to drink. My department’s deputy head got promoted to head, and he was treating us. My colleagues were joking around, saying that the vacant deputy head position would most likely be mine. They kept encouraging me to drink, and after a few rounds, my head felt foggy. I just accepted every drink offered. As I walked out of the restaurant, my steps were unsteady, my colleagues supporting me on either side. My stomach was doing flips when I heard the girl beside me gasp, “Wow, he’s seriously hot.” I tilted my head, following her gaze. And there he was, leaning against a car, smoking. My body froze in an instant. Two years. Over seven hundred days and nights. I never dared to hope that I’d see him again, not on a normal evening like this. To unexpectedly see *him*. He looked the same, yet everything about him felt different. I paused for a brief second, or maybe two. Then I raised my hand, trying to rub my eyes. But I was too drunk; my hand wouldn’t cooperate. The neon lights of the night painted his face. The drifting smoke blurred his sharp, distinct features. Outside the restaurant, the crowd surged, loud and chaotic. But he stood there, silent, as if detached from the entire world. My eyes suddenly welled up. My body reacted before my mind did. In my drunken haze, I pushed my colleagues away and rushed straight towards him. The man leaning against the car was startled by my sudden approach. He quickly turned, shying away from me like I was poison, but I still clung desperately to his waist. “Liam.” The moment his name left my lips, tears streamed down my face. My emotions, fueled by alcohol, were overwhelming. I choked back sobs, rambling incoherently about how much I’d missed him these past two years. Until his hand forcefully pried mine away. My drunken stupor made me stumble, and I fell back onto the wet ground. His eyes held extreme disgust and wariness. Yet, his hand was gentle as he pulled the woman who’d just walked up closer. As if afraid of scaring her, his expression and voice instantly softened. “Sweetheart, I really don’t know her.”
The ground was slick from a recent rain. When I fell, I landed pretty hard. My head was ringing, and the alcohol hitting me hard made me uncontrollably dry- heave. My colleagues scrambled to help me up. Liam glanced at me again, as if I were a wild-haired lunatic. Probably worried I might hurt his new fiancée, he quickly opened the passenger door, shielding the woman as she got in. Before she got into the car, she turned and looked at me. My vision was blurry from the alcohol, but I clearly saw the undisguised hostility in her eyes. My body swayed, and I cried, trying to lunge at Liam again: “You can’t leave! I’ve been looking for you for two years! Please, will you come back with me?” This time, my colleagues held me back. They awkwardly apologized for me: “We’re so sorry, she’s had too much to drink. Our apologies.” His eyes were filled with ice. “If you’re drunk, go home and sleep it off. Don’t cause any more trouble, or I won’t be so polite.” My colleagues half-dragged, half-carried me away. In my peripheral vision, I only saw Liam’s face, filled with utter disgust. Our once-passionate marriage felt like a distant dream. On the way back, I trembled, crying and murmuring to myself, “But he really is my husband.” Liam was the man I had been married to for three years. My colleagues took me home and helped me into bed. When I woke up after sleeping, the bedroom was chillingly, terrifyingly silent. The stark white light from the ceiling fixture shone into my eyes. I stared blankly at the ceiling, recalling what had happened. I even wondered if it had all been a dream. The alcohol hadn’t completely worn off, and my head was pounding. I fumbled for my phone and made a call to confirm. “Captain Miller, has Liam returned to Northwood?”
There was a long silence on the other end before a sigh. “Yes, Alice. “Liam… he’s getting married at the end of the year. “He came to Northwood this time to pick up his fiancée’s parents.” Oh, so he really had come back. But Liam, wasn’t he already married to me? I thought for a moment, then remembered something I’d forgotten. We were divorced. Three years ago, we got married. Two years ago, he came back covered in blood, and we got divorced. So, how could I have forgotten?
Two years ago, Liam had narrowly escaped death from that group of drug traffickers. When he left, it was with his childhood friend, Sam. When he returned, his left hand was missing two fingers, and he carried an urn. That urn didn’t contain Sam’s remains, but a few charred personal items. Sam’s identity had been exposed just as his undercover mission was nearing its end. The drug traffickers had tortured him beyond imagination, slowly dismembered, for two days and a night. And the final blow that took Sam’s life? Liam had delivered it himself. Sam’s shattered remains were thrown into the ocean. The police quickly received a tip-off and wiped out the largest drug trafficking den in the Southern Borderlands. But one person was left there forever. Liam developed severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He would forget and confuse many things. But he would never forget that he had killed someone. The one person who shouldn’t have died. He became increasingly disoriented and out of touch with reality. Many times, due to hallucinations, he almost died in accidents. Later, he tried to end his life several times. Until the third time he ran out of the house, was hit by a car in the middle of the street, and rushed to the emergency room, his life hanging by a thread. I sat outside the ER, waiting all night. At dawn, I finally decided to follow the police and hospital’s advice. To let Liam undergo hypnotic therapy, to forget everything about the past. Everything, including me. We arranged a psychologist for him. But he had been a narcotics officer for so many years; his detective instincts were too sharp. He guessed our intentions and showed extreme resistance to the psychologist. Liam became even more insecure, more irritable. In the dead of night, he would suddenly wake up from a dream. In the dim light, he would look at me with wary, helpless eyes and say: “Alice, do you want me to forget you too? Do you not want me anymore?”
My nose burned with a sudden ache. More than anyone, I didn’t want him to forget me. But I also knew, more than anyone, that for him to continue living, he had to forget all the painful past. In the faint night, I kissed the corner of his lips and said: “I promise you, it’s just therapy. You can forget anything, but you’ll never forget me.” He believed me. We had known each other since birth. Acquaintance, understanding, love, commitment. For over twenty years, I had never once lied to him. There was no one else in this world he trusted so completely. So, he obediently followed me into my therapy room. When I asked him to sign a thick stack of papers, he didn’t even glance at them. He didn’t notice the divorce papers tucked inside. I asked him to lie down on the couch in the therapy room, and he said it still carried my scent. He obediently cooperated as I hypnotized him, and then, with my deceit, he forgot everything.
I was sleepless all night. The next day, I returned to the hospital for work, my face showing my exhaustion. I didn’t expect that my first patient would be Liam. He was clearly in a bad mood, and when he entered, he didn’t seem to recognize me. He sat down and stated his situation in a deep voice. “Two years ago, I had an illness, lost my memory, and forgot everything before that. “I want to recover my memory through therapy.” My hand trembled, and the mouse dropped to the floor. In three years, I had never been so flustered. Liam looked at me, a suspicious expression on his face. He still hadn’t recognized me. I fumbled to pick up the mouse, and when I spoke, I realized I’d said the wrong thing. “You… you can try hypnotic therapy to recover.” Even if I didn’t take him, he would still go to another doctor. After a routine inquiry, I led him into the hypnosis room. Liam lay down on the couch, and under my guidance, slowly entered a hypnotic state. I watched his peaceful sleeping face. His brows and eyes, the mole at the corner of his eye, the scar near the ear bone on his profile. Every single detail had long been etched into my heart. It had been too long, far too long, since I’d been able to truly look at him. That face, like a devil’s snare, slowly awakened the deepest, darkest desires within me. The moment I spoke, I committed a cardinal sin for any psychologist. “Mr. Miller, how did you and your fiancée come to be together?” The hypnotized Liam was unusually cooperative. “She’s my fiancée. Six months ago, I fell for her at first sight. “The moment I saw her, I felt she was the one I’d been searching for.” I thought of his fiancée’s face, and suddenly my breath caught in my throat. That face bore a striking seven-tenths resemblance to mine. So I couldn’t help but ask more questions I shouldn’t have. As for what happened two years ago, I didn’t mention a word. Because I had no intention of helping Liam recover his memory. After the hypnotic session, Liam was asleep. I looked at him, finally daring to softly reveal the dark secret of my heart: “What am I going to do? I still love you so much.” He slept soundly, unable to hear my words. His left hand lay by his side, the missing two fingers a jarring sight. I sat by the bed, watching, and couldn’t resist reaching out to touch the area where his fingers were gone. My eyes burned with a sudden, uncontrollable ache. I softly murmured, “It must have hurt terribly.” My outstretched hand was suddenly grabbed by his.
Liam’s eyes snapped open. The first look the man gave me seemed to hold bewilderment and urgency. He stared at me, his gaze intense, across the close distance between us. Then, even he seemed to freeze for a moment. For an instant, I even had a fleeting thought that he might have remembered something. But quickly, the strange emotion in his eyes vanished, replaced by anger and disgust. He spoke, his words like the sharpest knife: “I knew you looked familiar. You’re the one who caused that drunken scene last night, aren’t you?” I suddenly felt an overwhelming panic. Like some dirty, shameful secret had been caught red-handed. I fumbled to push him away, but he gripped my wrist tightly. My explanation was weak and pathetic: “I… I just saw you hadn’t woken up for a long time, and I wanted to wake you.” I desperately hoped he hadn’t heard those last few words I’d spoken. Liam held my wrist with one hand and reached for his phone with the other. He clearly had no intention of letting me off the hook. He opened something on his phone. He looked at me like I was a criminal. That scrutinizing gaze, heavy with intense pressure, made my limbs feel numb and cold. “Coincidentally, before you started your hypnotic therapy on me, I accidentally started a recording on my phone. “Since that’s your explanation, listening to this recording shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
My face slowly drained of all color. Liam didn’t ask for my permission again and directly played the recording. All my questions and interactions with him in it clearly weren’t aimed at helping him recover his memory. Instead, under the guise of therapy, I was prying into his life and privacy over the past two years. His eyes, like dark, bottomless pits, were daggers cutting into my face. The words that came out were utterly devoid of warmth: “Is this how Dr. Hayes abuses her professional position to casually flirt with men?” I felt utterly mortified, my clenched nails digging into my palm. I was so numb I couldn’t feel the pain, only the sticky warmth of blood. We remained locked in this stalemate, so much so that neither of us heard the knock on the door outside. The recording continued to play, and as it neared its end, Chloe, Liam’s fiancée, burst in. She pushed open the inner door, speaking with some unease: “Sorry, I just came by, hope I’m not interrupting your session…” Her voice abruptly cut off, and she sharply glanced at Liam’s phone. From the phone, my voice continued to play. “What am I going to do? I still love you so much.” “It must have hurt terribly…” Chloe stared at the phone in disbelief. Soon, her face darkened, and she strode over in her heels, taking Liam’s phone. She trembled as she checked the recording, fast-forwarding quickly from the beginning to the end. She then finally confirmed that, during the hypnosis session, I had abused my position as a doctor. I had pried into her fiancé’s privacy. And then, at the very end, I had shamelessly uttered those extremely flirtatious words to her fiancé. There was no video with the recording, but a woman’s imagination, well, it knows no bounds. Undoubtedly, she had already pictured the look in my eyes and my gestures towards her fiancé as I spoke those words. Her elegant and gentle face twisted into a furious snarl. She raised her hand and slapped me hard across the face. “So it was you! A psychologist, my foot! Ugh, disgusting! “I saw through you last night! You’re absolutely disgusting!”
The commotion in the therapy room quickly drew in the doctors and nurses outside. At first, a group of confused medical staff tried to mediate. Until Chloe, enraged, played the last segment of the recording, turning the volume to max. My voice, speaking those few suggestive words, clearly reached everyone’s ears. I felt like I was nailed to a pillory of shame, and not a single person came to my defense. More than a dozen scrutinizing, strange, shocked, and contemptuous gazes slowly settled on me. Liam sat to the side, watching with cold indifference. After Chloe had vented enough of her anger, having said the most awful things she could, He then coolly added, “Call the police, and get the director down here.” I stood frozen like a puppet, unable to utter another word. Never before had I realized so clearly that day. Liam and I, we were truly over. He had completely forgotten me. And so, all the tenderness, tolerance, and compassion would no longer belong to me. Dr. Hayes tried to mediate: “Mr. Miller, I’m truly sorry. “Alice certainly acted improperly. I’ll have her apologize to you properly and offer some compensation. How does that sound?” He knew about my past relationship with Liam, so he probably felt some pity for me. Liam looked at him with cold eyes, like an emotionless judge pronouncing a verdict: “I demand you call the police and have the director fire her.”
I looked at the man before me with a sense of bewilderment. Somehow, I was reminded of many years ago, when I first started as a psychologist. I had taken on a male patient who harassed me, but then he turned around and accused me of seducing him. Back then, Liam gathered all the evidence for me. And when that male patient’s family came to plead for him, Liam had said something similar: “I demand you call the police. I will not let this matter rest.” It turned out that the man who once stood between me and danger, the love of my life. Could one day be the one to plunge a sharp knife into my heart. He had forgotten me. So I couldn’t even utter words of blame, or anger. Once Liam made his stance clear, Chloe became even more agitated: “Didn’t you hear that recording?! “If I hadn’t burst in, who knows what else she would have done! “And she’s treated so many male patients before, there aren’t even any cameras in this consultation room. “Oh, it might not even be just male patients, she could be into both, who knows…” Her words grew increasingly offensive. Dr. Hayes’s face darkened, and he said, “Madam, please watch your language!” Chloe directly grabbed a glass hourglass from the bedside table and, with a loud *smash*, threw it at my head. “Watch my language? You’re all in this together, aren’t you? I’m not wasting any more words on you! “Call the director and the police, or I’ll go out right now and let everyone judge this for themselves!”
The hourglass shattered on the floor, glass shards scattering everywhere. Tiny pink sand spilled across the floor. My head buzzed with a sharp ringing sound, and a warm liquid quickly ran down my forehead into my eyes. Through my blurred vision, I thought I saw Liam glance at me. But when I raised my hand to wipe my face and looked at him again, his gaze was no longer on me. Dr. Hayes’s face was extremely grim, and he tried to defend me. But I knew Liam too well. His current attitude meant he absolutely wouldn’t back down. With the evidence right here, my abuse of professional position for ulterior motives, my ethical decay. I couldn’t escape responsibility, nor did I want to implicate anyone else. I voluntarily contacted the director and called the police, explaining everything as if surrendering. Within half an hour, the director and police arrived. Captain Miller from the police department came along too. As soon as Captain Miller saw me, surrounded like a criminal, he let out a soft sigh. I lowered my eyelids, unable to say a single word. Captain Miller stepped forward, took Liam’s phone, and listened to the only piece of evidence. He then looked at Liam, trying to communicate with him in a low voice. But Liam’s attitude was exceptionally firm. He refused to make any concessions. His demand, from beginning to end, was for me to be expelled from the hospital. Otherwise, he would make the recording public, making me infamous nationwide. A female psychologist seducing a male patient through hypnosis—what a sensational topic. I chose the former, to resign from the hospital. Because the latter would also mean suspension. And potentially exposing Liam’s identity if it went viral online. He had once been a narcotics officer; exposing him would do no good. That afternoon, I packed my things. Like a stray, I left the hospital. When I stepped out of the elevator into the underground parking garage, several eggs flew at me.
I couldn’t dodge in time, and the eggs splattered all over my white lab coat. Some of the moldy egg liquid stuck to me, a sticky mess. A foul, fishy smell quickly spread around my nostrils. Facing me were two women with unpleasant expressions. One was Chloe, and the other was an older woman who resembled her somewhat. The middle-aged woman pointed at me, furiously cursing: “Liam is my daughter’s fiancé. “Their relationship is wonderful, and they’re getting married soon! “You shameless hussy, get lost and die somewhere far away!” I suddenly felt a surge of irrationality, wanting to blurt something out. But then I saw a car window roll down not far away. The man in the driver’s seat revealed half of his strikingly handsome profile. It was Liam. I saw him clearly. After so many years of knowing and loving him, even just his silhouette, I would never mistake it. He met my gaze. Still that cold, indifferent expression, taking in my utterly pathetic state. I actually don’t like being too humiliated. So I tugged at the corner of my mouth, trying to force a look of nonchalant indifference. But in the end, I couldn’t manage a smile, and nearly burst into tears instead. He cherished and indulged Chloe so deeply. So even now, if Chloe were to stab a knife into my heart, he probably wouldn’t even flinch. My Liam, he once cherished and indulged me in the same way.
In the end, I said nothing. Just seeing that face, it was as if all my strength suddenly drained away. I got directly into my car. It wasn’t until the car door closed that the women’s yelling was finally cut off. I drove home, carrying boxes of belongings inside. I originally couldn’t bear to part with my white lab coat, wanting to keep it as a memento. But now, it was ruined beyond recognition. I hesitated for a moment, then took it off, stuffed it into a trash bag, and took it outside. Lucky was surprised to see me home so early. It came trotting over, panting, licking my pant leg. I patted its head and refilled its food bowl. Lucky was a dog Liam and I found on the street a few years ago. I remember I asked Liam to name it back then. He clearly had no talent for naming things and after thinking for ages, he finally blurted out: “How about Lucky? Sounds exactly like a dog’s name, doesn’t it?” I giggled, and we settled on the name. Watching Lucky eat its kibble, I suddenly felt a little like crying. These past two years, ever since Liam left, I had grown used to being always on the go. Leaving before seven in the morning, and not getting back until late at night. It was as if as long as I was busy enough, I wouldn’t have time to think about things I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t feel sad, wouldn’t miss him. But now, I was forced into idleness. I went into the kitchen, put some water in a pot, and prepared to boil noodles. Then I poured a glass of water and went out to sit on the couch. It turns out, people really can’t be idle. I took a bored sip of water and looked at the pristine white wall. And then I remembered that once, a large red ‘囍’ character had hung there. The nearly two-meter-wide symbol of double happiness was painstakingly cut out by Liam himself, after almost half a month of sleepless nights. Back then, he was still stationed at the Northwood Police Department. We didn’t have to endure the agony of separation, and I didn’t need to live in constant fear. Fear of something happening to him, fear of him dying in a foreign land. Back then, our future was nothing but smooth sailing. Just like Sam used to tease, a little enviously, “You guys are killing us single folks with all that PDA.” See, I thought of Sam again. I remembered that day when he and Liam left, my eyes red and swollen as I saw them off. Sam had patted his chest then, confidently promising: “Don’t worry, Alice, as long as I have breath in my body, I’ll bring your man back!” Sam never came back. My Liam, it seems, never came back either.
I sniffled, wiping away my tears. I lay down on the couch and covered my face with a pillow. If I didn’t see, didn’t think, I wouldn’t be sad. If I didn’t remember, didn’t look back, things would eventually pass. I lay there for a while and soon fell asleep. In my hazy sleep, Lucky seemed to be whining in my ear. It seemed to be urgently licking the back of my hand. I wanted to open my eyes, but I felt incredibly sleepy. Faint knocking sounds from outside the door. I couldn’t tell if it was reality or a dream. In the air, a strange smell seemed to begin to permeate. Until much later, the world suddenly became quiet again. All the chaotic sounds in my ears vanished. In my hazy state, I half-opened my eyes and thought I saw Liam sitting beside me. His eyes were so gentle and moving, just like when he still loved me. But I only caught a glimpse before his broad palm covered my eyes. Everything vanished from my sight, and only his low, tender voice remained in my ears: “Shhh, go back to sleep.” I knew it was just a dream. My Liam, he would never come to see me like this again. I seemed to have slept for a very long time. My body was alternately hot and cold, like I had a high fever. In a daze, I seemed to have taken medicine, and a soft, cool towel was placed on my forehead. The fluctuating heat and cold slowly receded, and a wave of exhaustion swept over me. When I woke again, it was probably past midnight. Silence all around. I opened my eyes and actually saw Liam’s back.
The man stood by the wide-open window at the end of the living room. He must have been smoking. At his feet, Lucky had transformed into a fawning dog, its tail wagging like a propeller. It clearly wanted to express its joy at a long-awaited reunion. But Liam didn’t understand, only taking it for a silly dog. I felt like I hadn’t truly woken up. As I considered closing my eyes again, the man by the window turned around. Our eyes met, and my heart felt like it had been violently struck by a heavy object. The scene was so familiar that I even started to fantasize that he and I were still ‘us’. Until Liam’s clearly distant voice broke the silence: “You’re awake.” My consciousness slowly returned, and I began to confirm this wasn’t a hallucination. I practically sprang from the couch, staring at him in disbelief: “You… how did you get here? How did you get in?” Liam explained calmly: “I needed to talk to you. I asked Captain Miller for your address.” I started to wonder if I was losing my mind, or if he was. “But how did you get inside?” Liam extinguished the cigarette he was holding, then walked over and sat on the couch opposite me. “When I arrived, the building manager was just muttering angrily as he left your place. “He said you’d left the gas on, and you and the dog almost died in there. He even gave me a strange lecture.” It was then that I suddenly remembered I had been boiling water for noodles in the kitchen before I fell asleep. It must have been a gas leak, the smell spreading out, which is why the building manager came in. The building manager probably still recognized Liam, so letting him in and even lecturing him made sense. I tried hard to control my heart, which was pounding like a drum, and asked him, “What do you need to talk about?”
Lucky started to rub against Liam again. Liam pushed it away disdainfully, but it quickly stuck to him once more. I stifled the ache in my heart and explained, “I’m sorry, he’s very friendly, affectionate with everyone. “Once, I took him out, and he wagged his tail and almost ran off with someone…” Realizing I was explaining too much and sounding defensive, I shut my mouth. Liam wasn’t interested in Lucky, nor was he interested in talking about it. He got straight to the point: “Alice, my fiancée is very bothered by your harassment these past two days. “She insists I have an affair with you and is now threatening to break up with me unless you agree to move abroad.” He said this completely unfazed. I chewed on his words, and a sting of pain pierced my heart: “Mr. Miller, I thought we had an agreement. “I resigned, and you said we would drop it there.” Liam’s attitude was stubborn and unreasonable. “I just want my fiancée to be happy. You don’t have a job here anyway, you can find a new one abroad.” His words were infuriating, and I couldn’t help but frown. Liam, however, seemed to think I was trying to negotiate. He looked rather disdainful: “Name your price, and I’ll give you a sum of money. But you can’t come back for at least a year.” I looked up at him, suddenly feeling very distant. His expression was aggressive, his tone self-righteous. He said we’d drop it if I resigned, but now he was going back on his word, and he clearly didn’t see anything wrong with it. Liam grew even more impatient with my hesitation: “I truly value my relationship with my fiancée. “I don’t want to discuss this with you further. Just name your price, then go abroad.” I didn’t know how he’d fared these past two years, how much money he’d made. But his posture at this moment was exactly like a rich, unreasonable tycoon. He directly tossed a bank card onto the table in front of me. “Fifty thousand. Is that enough?”
I stared at his face. After a long moment, I still smiled and took the card. “Of course, that’s enough! It’s several years’ worth of my salary.” Staying in Northwood to watch him marry his fiancée and start a family really didn’t hold much appeal. Seeing the lingering suspicion on his face, I added, “Don’t worry, I’ll leave tomorrow morning.” Liam’s expression finally softened a little. He didn’t forget to take out a prepared pen and paper and had me sign an agreement. Then he stood up and said, “I hope you keep your word.” He walked towards the door. Lucky shot after him, biting his pant leg and whimpering. Liam walked out the door, but Lucky still wouldn’t let go. His face showed an extremely impatient expression. I barely recognized the man he was now. I even thought he was about to harshly kick Lucky. So I hurried after him, forcefully pulling Lucky away. After ushering it back inside, I slammed the door shut. The door closed, and only then did I realize. The dog couldn’t get out, but I couldn’t get back in either. My eyes were red, and I awkwardly said, “I’ll go downstairs and ask the building manager for the key.” Liam ignored me. He walked ahead, and I followed behind, both of us entering the elevator. I looked at our shadows on the floor, and couldn’t help but secretly reach out, touching the shadow of his arm. Inside the elevator, Liam pressed the basement floor, and I pressed the first floor. The elevator doors opened on the first floor. I thought I saw a shadow flash by outside. But there were many people living in the complex, so coming and going wasn’t unusual. So I didn’t think much of it and walked straight out. But Liam followed. I turned, looking at him with some confusion. Liam looked down at me, observing for a long time, so long that I started to feel uneasy. Then he finally spoke, his voice low and pleasant: “Alice. Alice Hayes.” He paused slightly, then continued, “I know, we’ve met before, a long time ago.”
My mind exploded. I stared at him, my eyes almost bulging: “You remember?” A sudden surge of joy washed over me, but looking at his expression, I was suddenly doused with a bucket of cold water. If Liam truly remembered, how could he be so calm? The man’s face was utterly devoid of emotion, looking at my strong reaction as if I were a clown. He slowly explained: “Captain Miller told me. “He said that you and I knew each other since childhood, and even got married three years ago. But two years ago, we divorced.” He paused again: “But, so what?” So what? Our twenty years of history, everything. He dismissed it with a few casual words and a “so what?” I felt dizzy. I pulled at the corners of my mouth, trying to maintain some dignity. Yes, so what? So what? He didn’t care, and I didn’t have to care that much either. But when I smiled, it was probably uglier than crying. Liam must have noticed my concern, and his expression showed disgust and annoyance. As if I were some stubborn, unwanted stain. He made no attempt to hide his disdain: “When an ex-husband has a fiancée, the ex-wife shouldn’t keep clinging. “We’re divorced. I have no interest in our past together.” I felt like my body was on a torture rack, being slowly dismembered. “I have no interest in our past together.” “No interest…” “No interest…” I looked at him, feeling that the person before me was just a blur. He no longer seemed like Liam, even that face seemed to have become unfamiliar. The voice of the person before me continued: “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to recover my old memories anymore. “Now I only love my fiancée, and I hope you, Alice, understand and keep your word to leave soon.” I finally couldn’t listen anymore. Before he could finish, I interrupted him: “Okay, I get it.” I walked past him and headed for the building management office. One more second, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control myself. The last shred of my pitiful dignity made me unwilling for him to see my breakdown. Because I knew that by now, he would only see it as a joke. Everything about me was just a joke. Despicable, pathetic, disgusting and repulsive. I practically fled to the building manager’s office, terrified of hearing another word from behind me. After getting the spare key, I stood in the shadows of the complex for a long time. Only when I was sure Liam had left did I slowly walk to the elevator and go back to my apartment. Lucky was still inside, frantically scratching at the door. The moment I opened it, it shot out, heading straight for the elevator.
Over the years, the pitiful little puppy had grown quite large. When it burst out, I almost got knocked over. I saw it run to the elevator, desperately scratching at the elevator door with its paws. When I walked over and hugged it, it looked at me, whimpering softly. This careless, silly dog, it turns out, could also have watery eyes. It looked anxious and helpless, biting my pant leg. It wanted me to open the elevator door, to chase Liam back. I stroked its head, my voice catching in a sob: “I’m sorry, he doesn’t remember us. I can’t keep him anymore.” Lucky seemed to understand. It leaned against me, placing its paw in my hand. As if it was sad, and also as if it was comforting me. The sound-activated light in the hallway went out. We, one person and one dog, huddled in the darkness, sharing our misery. After a long while, I finally stood up, taking Lucky back to my room. My phone suddenly rang late at night, and I answered. Captain Miller’s voice came through: “Alice, I found you a job. “At a Chinese hospital in London. I sent you the details, you might want to consider it.” Every time he contacted me over these past two years, his words always carried an undertone of guilt. Probably because, three years ago, he had recommended Liam and Sam to become narcotics officers. Three years ago, the day before Liam and my wedding. The officiant for our wedding was the director of the orphanage where we grew up. The director, a man in his sixties, was both excited and nervous about officiating a wedding for the first time. The day before the wedding, he rehearsed over and over again on the altar of the already set-up wedding venue. His excited, booming voice resonated from the stage: “Next, let our groom deeply kiss our bride!” Liam and I sat in the audience, laughing heartily at his antics. Liam extended his arm, pulling me close to him: “Alice, the mood is just right. Let’s practice too…” He leaned in, about to kiss me. A gunshot rang out at that very moment. When I looked at the stage again. The director, once energetic and in a sharp suit, was now lying on the ground. Blood gushed from his chest like a fountain.
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