My mom always said she loved me, but her ‘love’ came with strings. “Do you think I’d be this exhausted if it weren’t for you?” “If you don’t study hard, how can you face me?” “Everything I do is for *your own good*.” She forced me to choose the humanities track, even though I hated it. Before college started, she hid my acceptance letter to my dream university, pushing me instead toward a local state college closer to home. Even after I went to college, she rented an apartment nearby, just to keep an eye on me. Later, I fell in love, finally feeling a glimmer of hope. But she ruined my relationship, threatening to die if I didn’t marry a man who’d already been divorced once. After the wedding, I was constantly abused, leading to a miscarriage, and I could never conceive again. She still told me to “make it work.” Eventually, I jumped from a tall building, ending a life dictated by her. Reborn, I found myself back in my sophomore year of high school, right before the humanities or STEM track decision. “Mom, if you don’t want to drive me to my death, let me choose for myself.” 0
My words froze Mom mid-sentence. It was true; I’d never once defied her since childhood. We were a single-parent family; my dad passed away when I was very young. Everyone around us urged Mom to remarry, but she refused. “What if I remarry, and he doesn’t treat my daughter well?” she’d say. She drilled that into my head constantly throughout my childhood. At first, I felt guilty and incredibly grateful for her sacrifice. But as time wore on, I just felt exhausted. Under Mom’s constant ‘guidance,’ my thoughts twisted. I genuinely believed that disobeying her meant I was a monster, deserving of nothing. Sometimes, secretly, I’d wonder if Mom had remarried, maybe her focus wouldn’t be solely on me, and I wouldn’t have had such a hard life. But now, after living a tragic, manipulated life in my past, I understood. I needed to live the life *I* wanted. And if possible, I hoped my mom could find her own life too. She stared at me for a moment, her mouth slightly agape. “Audrey, you’ve grown up, haven’t you? You don’t listen to your mom anymore.” “I raised you from a baby, sacrificing everything, being both your mother and father. Is *this* how you repay me?” “You actually dared to threaten me with death? Fine. If you absolutely insist on the STEM track, I’ll bash my head against the wall and die.” With that, her eyes welled up, and she moved as if to carry out her threat. I lowered my gaze. In my previous life, I would have been on my knees by now, crying and begging her not to. Whenever I had my own ideas that went against her wishes, she’d pull this stunt. It always worked. Slowly, I lost all courage to rebel. But now, I just wanted to forge my own path. Mimicking her theatrics, I picked up a fruit knife from the table. Her eyes widened in shock as I pressed the blade against my wrist. “Go on, Mom. Bash your head in. If you die, I’ll die with you.” 0
Mom lunged forward, snatching the knife from my hand. She clutched her chest, sobbing, and hit me. “You heartless ingrate, you’re trying to kill your mother!” “Is it so hard to just take humanities? I’m doing this for your own good, sweetie. Why should a girl study STEM? You won’t even have an advantage on the college entrance exams!” “For my own good.” Since I was a child, my mom had controlled me with that phrase. Not just her, but everyone around us. When they heard how Mom hadn’t remarried for my sake, how she’d worked tirelessly to raise me, they looked at her with admiration. And I became the one expected to obey her unconditionally. Otherwise, I was a heartless ingrate. They’d all say, “Your mom is so good to you, you must treat her well when you’re older.” “Don’t ever cross her or make her angry.” I’d heard such words countless times growing up; my ears were practically numb from hearing them. I patted Mom’s back. “Mom,” I reasoned patiently, “I like the STEM track. Actually, STEM opens up many more college majors. My choice makes sense.” Mom didn’t reply. As if struck by an idea, she pushed me aside, wiped her tears, and stormed out. I didn’t know what she was planning, but right then, all I wanted was to focus on my studies. To get into a university I loved, have a free and loving relationship, and build an independent life for myself. But I didn’t expect a crowd to gather at our doorstep shortly after. These were Mom’s ‘reinforcements.’ Among them were some aunts who had always seemed somewhat kind to me. They were all neighbors, well-versed in our family situation. Mom stood there, arms crossed, a triumphant look on her face. It was as if she was saying, “See? If you don’t listen to me, everyone around you will point fingers and scold you.” Soon, Brenda, a neighbor, walked over and took my hand. She spoke with feigned sincerity, “Sweetheart, I know you’re a sensible girl. Your mom is doing this for your own good. Why upset her so much over a simple track choice?” Looking at her smiling face, I felt nothing but scorn. Brenda’s daughter, Skyler, was notoriously rebellious. She never disciplined her, or rather, she *dared* not discipline her. She’d boast to others that her daughter had character and independence, unlike those pathetic kids who only listened to their parents. Now she was siding with my mom, scolding *me* for being disobedient? I smiled back at her. “Brenda, you should probably focus on your own daughter, Skyler. If I’m not mistaken, I saw her with some troublemaker heading into some shady place just the other day.” “You might be a grandma soon. I’ll make sure to drop by for a wedding gift when she has to rush down the aisle.” Brenda’s face changed instantly. She pointed at me, spitting, “You ungrateful brat, how could you be so rude? I’m here trying to help you, and you spread rumors about my daughter? Clearly, a child without a father truly has no upbringing!” As she said that, my mom’s face darkened. She didn’t realize that these aunts, who pretended to be her friends, actually laughed at her behind her back for being a ‘lonely widow.’ In my previous life, I would have argued with them, only for Mom to scold me for being impolite. Now, I was going to make her see these fake friends for who they were. Brenda quickly went to comfort my mom. “Eleanor, I spoke without thinking, please don’t take it to heart.” Then, she shot me a glare before adding, “You’ve raised quite a daughter there, I wouldn’t dare say anything else. I’m leaving.” My mom lost one fake friend, and a key ally in her scheme. But she couldn’t do anything about it, only signaling with her eyes for the others to continue. 0
Patricia, another neighbor, was quite stout with a booming voice, and an even fiercer temper. Her husband couldn’t stand her fiery personality, so he constantly cheated on her with other women. She, however, spent her days ignoring her husband and children, preferring to meddle in other people’s affairs. I hated her. It was because of her that my mom had hidden my dream university acceptance letter, causing me to miss the enrollment deadline. Patricia was jealous that I got into a top-tier university while her own daughter barely scraped into a community college. So, she constantly whispered poison into my mom’s ear. She’d say that if I went to a big university, I’d never come back home. That’s why Mom pressured me into choosing a local state college, keeping me tied to her side. And it didn’t end there. After I started college, she kept pushing Mom to visit me and spy on me. She deliberately badmouthed me to my mom. This constant interference only worsened the relationship between my mom and me. She looked at me with an air of superiority. Clearing her throat, Patricia announced, “Audrey, this is wrong. Your mother raised you; whatever she tells you to do, you should obey. To defy her like this is truly unfilial.” “Back where I’m from, girls weren’t even allowed to go to school. Your mom worked so hard to support you. You’re not only ungrateful, but you’re defying her? Honestly, Eleanor, I think you should just make her drop out and get a job.” I sneered. “Patricia,” I said directly, “I truly admire you. Your husband is about to divorce you, yet you still have the energy to meddle in our family’s business. Whether I study or not, what does it have to do with you? Or is it that you’re jealous that I’m always first in class while your daughter is always last, so you’re hoping to convince my mom to make me drop out?” “You’re utterly stupid and wicked. Only my mom is naive enough to believe you truly care about her. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve always been jealous that my mom raised such a smart, well-behaved daughter.” Patricia’s face contorted with rage, and she began to hurl curses at me. “You really are a no-good, fatherless brat with no upbringing! What business is our family’s affairs to you? Do you, a little hussy, need to tell me how to live my life?” I shot back, “Oh, really? What business are *my* family’s affairs to *you*? Do *we* need you to tell my mom and me how to live *our* lives?” Patricia tried to say more, but Brenda, who had rushed back in, pulled her away. My mom’s face grew darker and darker. The remaining aunts, seeing my outburst, didn’t dare say another word. It was true; I knew all the dirty laundry of these neighbors. Arguing with me would only strip away the last shred of their dignity. So, one by one, they offered my mom a polite smile and left. After Mom closed the door, her expression was still terrible. “Who taught you to say all that?” she asked, her voice cold. I sighed. “Mom, you don’t have many friends. I saw how genuinely happy you were with them, so I didn’t want to tell you.” Tears slowly welled up in Mom’s eyes. She walked towards me and gently embraced me. “Audrey, no matter what they say, no one is as important as you are in my heart.” “I know, Mom. Sometimes my methods aren’t right, but deep down, I truly want what’s best for you.” I smiled, patting her back. “Mom, I actually hope you’ll find your own hobbies and your own life.” “Instead of making me your whole world. Only when you’re happy, will I truly be happy.” Reborn. I had resented Mom, blamed her, but I never hated her. I knew she had sacrificed a lot for me. And endured a lot because of me. Many of the things she did were indeed out of love, just misguided. What I wanted to tell Mom was that I was grown now. I had my own thoughts and my own path to follow. I could take care of myself, and I could take care of her. This time, I was determined to ensure both my mom and I had a happy ending. Mom didn’t say a word. After a moment, she sighed. “I don’t really understand much about your studies.” “If you like the STEM track, then go ahead and choose it.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I never thought Mom would actually give in to my wishes for the first time. It was a small step, but it meant the world to me. I hugged Mom tightly. Jumping with joy, I exclaimed, “Mom, don’t worry, I’ll work incredibly hard, and I won’t let you down!” From that day on, I studied even more diligently. My mom also changed. She wasn’t as strict with me anymore. I thought, maybe after that incident, Mom truly had a change of heart. A year passed like this, and I was far ahead with the highest STEM grades in the entire school. My teachers had high hopes for me; they believed I would surely be the state valedictorian that year. Tsinghua or Peking University — the world was my oyster. Just before the college entrance exams. My mom prepared a lavish feast for me. “Audrey, you’ve worked hard for three years. I’ve thought things through, and from now on, I won’t interfere with anything you want to do.” “You’re right. Actually, Arthur has been quite good to me. After you go to college, I’ll try dating him.” I was overjoyed. I accepted the glass of wine my mom offered, drinking it all without hesitation. “Mom, it’s great that you’ve come around! I promise I’ll work hard, earn a lot of money, and take care of you.” I was too excited. I completely missed the fleeting flicker of guilt in my mom’s eyes. Soon, I was drunk. My mom helped me to bed. I had a beautiful dream. In it, I got into my dream university, MIT. There, I found a supportive and understanding boyfriend. My mom had her own new family and was happy every day. But when I woke up again, rubbing my bleary eyes, I discovered something utterly terrifying.
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