After seven years of practically worshipping Julian, he finally agreed to be with me. Everyone said Julian only kept me around to kill time, a mere distraction. Even he believed it. So, when he abandoned me again to face three drunk men, rushing off to meet the one who truly held his heart, something inside me snapped. I was done chasing him. His voice was a dark, menacing growl as he warned me, “Don’t play games with me. I hate women who do that.” He was so sure I’d never leave him. But that arrogant heir to a powerful family, he knelt before me, time and again, crying and begging me not to leave when I was about to go abroad. Our first kiss happened one night when he was drowning himself in booze. The proud scion was absolutely hammered, sitting alone in a private room at a bar. I heard him call out Serena’s name, asking why she had left him. Julian, Serena, and I had practically grown up together, but I was always the one everyone overlooked. Outsiders always whispered that Julian and Serena were childhood sweethearts, practically inseparable. I was just a perpetual third wheel to their perfect story. Julian had burst into my orphanage when I was a child, saving me just as the abusive director was about to lay hands on me. After that, the Preston family adopted me, and I’d always been incredibly grateful for their kindness. At the tender age of first love, meeting the boy who once saved me inevitably sparked something. Like any heroine in a teenage romance novel, I fantasized that Julian was the lead in my world. But when I saw Serena, I finally understood. I was nothing but an ugly duckling; Julian’s true leading lady was someone else entirely. I forced myself to bury my feelings for Julian, doubling down on my efforts to be good to him, hoping to repay their kindness. Three years ago, Serena went to study abroad, leaving just Julian and me from our trio. We started spending more time together, getting closer. But I always knew that a part of his heart would forever belong to Serena. Just like now, even drunk, he still called out her name. Silently, I helped him up, spoon-feeding him a special hangover remedy I’d brought. After a while, Julian seemed to improve, stirring awake from his stupor. He watched me clean up without a word, sitting quietly like a child who had done something wrong. “Cassie,” he suddenly said, “will you ever leave me?” I didn’t know how to answer, so I stayed silent. Julian suddenly reached out, pulling me into his arms. He stared at me intently, his eyes holding an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. I finally managed to speak, “If I could, I hope we never have to be apart.”
I whispered it, so softly. Maybe Julian heard me, his eyes shining intensely in the dark room. What happened next was a blur, a natural progression. Lips met, teeth grazed. He held me fiercely, as if trying to merge me into his very bones, yet his kisses were incredibly gentle. I stayed with him in that private room, drinking all night. His eyes, still hazy with drink, traced my face. His fingers, surprisingly rough, brushed over the beauty mark near my eye. He just stared at me for a long, long time. Suddenly, a smile touched his lips, as if he’d remembered something amusing. “You like me that much, huh?” he chuckled. “Is this your first kiss? Be my girlfriend.” I agreed. No flowers, no grand confession. Just like that, we were together. A month passed, and my relationship with Julian felt unchanged. I still went through my daily routine of classes and studying, and Julian still frequented the same party spots. Then, one day, Julian stopped me after class. He stood there, hesitating for a long moment, before finally telling me, “Come to a party with me tonight. I want to introduce you to everyone.” “And make sure you wear that white dress I gave you.” My fingers brushed the smooth, elegant fabric of the white dress, and I felt a pang of emotion. The girl staring back from the mirror didn’t quite suit this dress; she wasn’t poised or tall enough, and she certainly lacked that innate elegance and air of superiority. I sighed, but remembering Julian’s instruction, I reluctantly put it on. I stepped into the waiting car, heading to the party. Like Cinderella at midnight, riding in a pumpkin carriage to meet her cherished Prince Charming. But how could reality ever be like a fairy tale? It was a chilly autumn night in the city. I wore the thin white dress, feeling utterly out of place in the decadent VIP lounge of the upscale club. The air was thick with smoke, expensive liquor, and designer perfumes, suffocating me. I sat beside Julian, feeling like a carefully dressed doll. He casually draped an arm behind me, lazily introducing me to his friends as his “official” girlfriend. The others snickered, their gazes unsettling. Julian didn’t say anything, just lifted his eyes to me with a bored look, as if I were an insignificant object. But his fingers gently hooked the hem of my dress, tightening as if testing my reaction. I lowered my gaze, picked up the lemonade on the table, and took a few sips. Then, slowly, I refilled Julian’s glass with liquor, my movements so practiced it was as if I’d done it a thousand times. I had long anticipated a scene like this. Over the years, I’d been mocked behind my back countless times by these “friends,” yet Julian had never once intervened. I could only try my best to suppress my emotions. But a heart is made of flesh and blood, and a dense, prickly ache spread through me. Unaccustomed to the environment, I excused myself to the restroom. When I returned, I heard a burst of laughter erupting from the private room, some of it clearly directed at me. “Hey, Julian, you’re something else! Did you actually convince her to wear Serena’s dress?” “Don’t be ridiculous, that’s not Serena’s dress. Julian takes such good care of Serena’s clothes. That’s just a cheap knock-off. Look at that poor girl, so thrilled with it, it’s hilarious!” Through the crack in the door, I saw a new girl had taken my seat. Julian didn’t object, just casually smoked. “Alright, enough. Watch what you say.” “Remember not to let Serena hear about this.”
The laughter around them grew louder. Someone bolder asked, “What if this… devoted follower… hears us and runs off, Julian? Aren’t you worried?” I watched Julian slowly take a drag from the cigarette offered by the girl next to him, then slowly exhale. His voice wasn’t loud, but it was clear enough for me to hear: “Don’t worry. You couldn’t get rid of her even if you tried.” My heart plummeted. He was right. How pathetic I was, sacrificing my dignity to repay some old kindness. I pulled out my compact mirror, seeing the slight redness in my eyes, and tried to compose myself. Pushing the door open, I found an empty corner and sat down. No one noticed me. The center of this party would always be Julian and Julian alone. As the party ended, Julian suddenly called out to me, a lazy smile playing on his lips. “Cassie, go grab me a pack of cigarettes from the convenience store, would you?” I nodded, more than eager to escape the suffocating atmosphere. Next to the club was a deep, narrow alley, often where drunk people passed out. On my way back, I ran into a few drunk men emerging from the alley. I tried to avoid them, to walk around, but one of them grabbed my arm anyway. My body trembled slightly, and I instinctively slapped his hand away. A powerful wave of nausea churned in my stomach, and for a moment, I was back in the orphanage, pinned against the wall by the director. The stench of alcohol wafted over me, making me wrinkle my nose, and my legs trembled even more. I yelled out, “Don’t come near me! I’ll call someone!” But the drunk men didn’t care, still trying to lay their hands on me. “Look at this little slut, coming out of the club. What, you can serve the rich but not us? How much for a night?” As they shoved me, I used my bag to push the three men away and ran into the alley. But they followed close behind. I quickly pulled up Julian’s contact on my phone. The ringing tone sounded like a countdown to my doom. *Please, Julian, pick up my call.* Just as the call was about to disconnect, Julian finally answered. From the other end of the line, I heard the whistling of wind and the distinct giggling of a woman. That familiar giggle immediately brought her owner to mind: Serena. She was back. *Julian is with Serena right now? But she wasn’t at the party earlier?* Before I could process the chaotic thoughts in my head, Julian spoke first, cutting me off: “You’re taking too long. We already left. Forgot to tell you.” “As my girlfriend, you should be more understanding, shouldn’t you?” I didn’t answer Julian’s question. Instead, my voice choked with tears, “Julian… help me… I’m being…” Julian scoffed, “Alright, Cassie, what are you trying to pull? That trick doesn’t work on me.” “You’re just mad I didn’t take you along, right? Do you really need to be so dramatic?” “If you want to stay my girlfriend, don’t annoy me. My patience has limits.” With that, he hung up, not giving me a chance to reply. The abrupt dial tone buzzed, sending a chill through my fingers. My limbs remained stiff, stuck in the position of holding the phone, but my hand slowly dropped, powerless. Serena was back. I was no longer needed. That was Julian’s answer. Despair seeped into me. Looking at the dress I was wearing, I suddenly had an urge to rip it to shreds. I hid in a cardboard box next to a trash can in the alley, surrounded by garbage and debris. Stains smudged my pure white dress. Terrified, I huddled in the dumpster, fearing they would find me any second. The narrow alley echoed with the three drunk men’s lewd jokes about how they would “split” me once they caught me. I don’t know how long passed before they finally left. Curled up, I spent the night there. The intense focus of my fear finally relaxed, giving way to extreme exhaustion. At dawn, I dragged my weary body back to my apartment, covered in the stench of rotten garbage. Lying in bed, I sobbed uncontrollably. This time, the person who saved me from my childhood trauma wasn’t someone else. It was me.
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