I was born with a shadow. It wasn’t mine; it belonged to my twin sister, who died shortly after birth. To appease it, my parents forced me from a young age to wear dresses I hated and speak in a soft, delicate voice. To make it happy, the night before my most important piano competition, they locked my door and made me listen to terrifying stories in the dark all night. To fulfill its wishes, on my eighteenth birthday, they destroyed all my college acceptance letters and sent me to a strict boarding dance academy. Until I married my psychologist, Dr. Alistair Vance. He gently told me I would get better. That day, he held my latest brain scan, the love in his eyes almost melting me. He softly caressed the large shadow on the film and smiled at me. “Sweetie, your brain is nourishing it beautifully. It will soon fully occupy this body.” “Then, you can peacefully join your sister.” Dr. Alistair Vance’s voice was soft, but every word felt like a poison-tipped needle, piercing deep into my heart. Those eyes, which I once adored, were now filled with a sickening expectation. My stomach churned violently. “You’re joking, right?” I finally managed to squeeze out a question, needing to confirm it again. Alistair didn’t answer directly. Instead, he carefully tucked the CT scan back into the manila envelope. Then, he walked over to me, crouched down, and looked me directly in the eye. “This is not a joke.” “This is our shared anticipation, your parents’ wish for over twenty years, and a testament to my love.” An icy dread shot up from my feet to the crown of my head. Alistair reached out, intending to touch my cheek. I flinched back sharply, avoiding his touch. His hand froze mid-air, the smile vanishing from his face. “Sweetie, don’t be scared.” “This process won’t be painful at all. Afterward, you’ll go to a place without pain, to be reunited with your sister.” He spoke so casually, so matter-of-factly, as if he were discussing something trivial that happened every day. All his years of meticulous care for me. It was all a lie. “No…” My legs felt like jelly, numb and weak. But I couldn’t show it now. Because here, in front of him, I was no match. I lowered my head, feigning submission. “I… I’m just a little scared.” Hearing the slight softening in my tone, Alistair’s voice immediately turned gentle. He sat beside me and pulled me into his arms. “Don’t be afraid, I’m here with you.” He picked up a glass of warm milk from the bedside table and held it to my lips. “It’s getting late. Drink some milk and get some rest.” Looking at the white liquid near his lips, I felt a wave of nausea. But I could only obey. “Okay.” A sickeningly sweet, cloying warmth slid down my throat, and Alistair smiled, satisfied. He took the empty glass from my hand and left a goodnight kiss on my forehead. “Alright, go to sleep now.” “Goodnight.” The moment he left, I bolted straight to the bathroom, knelt before the toilet, and forced myself to throw up. Only when my stomach was completely empty did I collapse, exhausted, onto the cold tile floor. I looked at myself in the mirror, pale-faced, hair disheveled. Suddenly, a chilling thought crept into my mind. I had lost. I had been utterly defeated from the moment I was born. But I absolutely refused to accept this fate.
The next day, when I woke up, Alistair had already made breakfast. Everything seemed normal. If it hadn’t been for yesterday’s revelation, I almost would have believed it was just a nightmare. “Come eat.” I suppressed the urge to run, sitting down stiffly. “This afternoon, we’re going to your parents’ house. They said they miss you.” My heart sank. But… “Okay.” I softly agreed, trying to keep my voice sounding normal. Alistair’s face lit up with a delighted expression. “Wonderful, they’ll be so happy to hear the news.” I looked up, feigning confusion, and asked Alistair, “What news?” “Why, that your condition has had a breakthrough, of course.” “They’ve invested so much; it’s time they saw a return.” His words instantly took me back to the past. I suddenly remembered my days at the dance academy. Waking up before dawn every day, being forcibly bent by the instructors, crying myself to sleep every night. Tears and sweat—that was my entire three years of memory. I had questioned them countless times, asking why they treated me that way. They simply replied with the vague phrase, “It’s all for your own good.” Now I understood. They simply wanted to train a body worthy of their precious daughter. I took a deep breath, suppressing the hatred that surged in my heart. “After breakfast, I want to go for a walk. I’ve been feeling a bit cooped up lately.” “Great! I’ll come with you.” I quickly waved my hand, refusing Alistair. “I want to be alone, just in the apartment complex garden.” Alistair looked at me, saying nothing. I lowered my head, not daring to meet his gaze, my heart pounding. Finally, he spoke. “Alright, but come back soon. We’re leaving at noon.” A tight knot in my chest loosened a little. After breakfast, I changed and prepared to leave. As I reached the entryway, I instinctively reached for my phone and keys. “Looking for these?” Alistair’s voice came from behind me. I turned, meeting his gaze as he held my phone. “I charged it for you last night after you fell asleep.” I took the phone he handed me; the screen was still on. For some reason, I felt a subtle unease. “Where are my keys?” “I put them away.” He said to me casually, “Our home has smart locks, so you don’t need keys.” “But…” Before I could finish, Alistair cut me off. “Enough!” His voice held a hint of impatience. “Go on, don’t keep me waiting too long.” With that, he turned and walked to the living room, picking up a psychology textbook. I tentatively pressed the handle of the fingerprint lock. “Password incorrect.” Alistair had changed the password and deleted my fingerprint. He was now engrossed in his book, seemingly oblivious to my movements. I walked over to him, forcing a smile. “Alistair, the password’s wrong.” He looked up, a contrite expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Sweetie, I changed the password yesterday and forgot to tell you.” As he spoke, he took out his phone and tapped a few times. “There, try again.” With a mix of hope and skepticism, I typed in my original birthday password. “Verification successful.” The door opened. Standing in the doorway, I couldn’t take a single step. I could feel Alistair’s gaze burning into my back. He was just using this method to tell me. He could lock me in, or let me out, whenever he pleased. Everything was under his control. “Why aren’t you going?” I turned around; he had put down his book and was watching me. “I suddenly… don’t want to go out.” I closed the door and watched him walk closer, step by step. “Then stay home with me.” Alistair opened his arms. I hesitated for a moment, then submissively leaned into his embrace. My plan had failed. What was I going to do? Soon, he would take me back to that so-called home. I had no way to save myself. But out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something. On the coffee table behind Alistair, lay a fruit knife… Its blade reflected a cold gleam in the light.
The knife stood upright in the fruit bowl, as if pointing the way for me. A terrifying idea instantly sparked in my mind. Clinging to Alistair’s arm, my body trembled involuntarily. My voice broke, sounding fragile and helpless. “I’m still a little scared, Alistair.” Alistair’s body stiffened for a moment, then he gently patted my back. “It’s okay, Sweetie. Soon, you’ll be free.” I continued my act. “But I don’t want to leave you, or Mom and Dad.” A flicker of emotion crossed Alistair’s face. He cupped my cheek. “We’ll always remember you, Sweetie.” I suddenly pushed him away and lunged towards the coffee table. Grabbing the knife. “Sweetie, what are you doing!” Alistair’s voice immediately turned anxious. I gripped the fruit knife tightly, pointing the tip at my own neck. “Get away!” My voice was hoarse from screaming. Alistair looked at me, his face initially fearful, but a moment later, he sneered. “Did you think I wouldn’t be prepared?” He pulled a small remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. In an instant, my limbs felt weak, and the fruit knife clattered to the floor. My body became limp and powerless. “What… what did you do to me?” Alistair slowly walked towards me, looking at me with utter contempt. “A small precautionary measure.” Alistair adjusted his collar, his impeccable facade snapping back into place. “It’s getting late, we should leave.” He picked me up from the floor. I tried to resist, but I couldn’t move, only allowing him to manipulate me. I could only watch as he picked me up and tossed me into the passenger seat like a sack of trash.
The air in the car was so oppressive it was suffocating. Alistair turned on the stereo, and my favorite song began to play. “Don’t be so tense, Sweetie.” Alistair said gently as he drove, “We’re just going home.” I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at him or answer. The car slowly left the city and drove onto a road leading to the suburbs. I knew we were almost there. The car finally stopped in front of a secluded villa. It looked exactly as I remembered it—a house that felt more like a tomb. Alistair cut the engine and turned to look at me. “We’re home.” He unbuckled my seatbelt, then got out and walked around to open my door. “Do you need me to carry you?” I ignored him and propped myself up, standing by the car door. My legs still felt a bit wobbly, but I forced myself to stand steady, not letting him see my weakness. Alistair nodded, thoroughly satisfied. “You’re recovering much faster than I expected.” The door opened, and my mother, Brenda, emerged. She was dressed in a modest, tasteful dress, her hair meticulously styled. “You’re back.” Her voice was soft. “Mom,” Alistair greeted her warmly. I looked at her, but no words came out of my mouth. “Come in quickly, your father is waiting for you inside.” In the living room, my father, Richard, sat rigidly on the sofa. He was a quiet man; the number of times I’d spoken to him growing up could be counted on one hand. He looked up, glanced at me, then quickly looked down again. “Sit,” Father finally spoke, gesturing to the sofa opposite him. Alistair helped me sit, then sat beside me, tightly gripping my hand. “Dad, Mom,” Alistair broke the silence. “The time is right.” He took the manila envelope from his bag, pulled out the CT scan, and handed it over. “Look.” Father and Mother leaned in, carefully taking the scan, their eyes glistening with a sickening, triumphant joy. Their fingers lingered over the large shadow, a possessive, sickening tenderness in their touch. “This is wonderful… truly wonderful…” “After more than twenty years, we’ve finally reached this day.” I looked at these three people, supposedly my closest family, and a torrent of uncontrollable hatred and despair erupted from the depths of my being. “You’re all so happy, but did it ever occur to you that I might not want this?” Their smiles froze on their faces. Alistair’s grip tightened, crushing my hand almost to the point of breaking. “Elara!” I yanked my hand away and stood up. “Why should I die for someone who never even lived?” I coldly stared at these people who so readily professed their “love” for me. Father suddenly stood up, pointing at me, trembling with rage. “How dare you! How can you say such a thing? Everything you have was given to you by her! Now it’s time for you to repay her!” Alistair lunged forward, grabbing my arm. “It seems my ‘therapy’ hasn’t quite taken hold yet.” He turned to my parents. “Dad, Mom, please go back to your room. I need to speak with her alone.” Father snorted, then pulled my still-hesitant mother, turning and walking upstairs. Only Alistair and I remained in the living room. The gentleness on his face was gone, replaced by icy control. “It seems I’ve been too lenient with you.” He dragged me towards the basement door. “It’s time I reminded you what happens when you don’t obey.”
This was the place of my greatest childhood fears. Alistair effortlessly dragged me inside, then slammed the door shut with a bang. “Alistair! Let me out!” I frantically pounded on the heavy iron door, tears streaming down my face. His voice came from outside the door, cold and distant. “Reflect on your actions in there.” “Call me when you’ve come to your senses.” Then, the sound of his footsteps faded away. I slid down the door, leaning against it in despair. When I was little, if I ever showed the slightest doubt about their commands, they would lock me in here. I’d be trapped for days on end. Sometimes, they’d even play terrifying sounds: The growls of monsters, women’s screams, the clanking of chains… Even after all these years, I remembered every detail clearly. I hugged my knees, trying to stop my body from trembling. Don’t be scared. Alistair said that every moment of happiness and peace I felt was nourishing *it*. So, conversely, could my fear and pain also affect *it*? I began to recall past events. The night before the piano competition, they locked me in my room, forcing me to listen to horror stories all night. The next day, with dark circles under my eyes, I participated in the competition in a daze, and my performance was abysmal. And Alistair—he used tenderness and love as a disguise, soothing my wounds, making me drop my guard. Thinking of this, my stomach churned. I slowly stood up and began to grope in the dark. Relying on memory, I walked in one direction. I remembered there was a small window high up here. After some searching, my hand brushed against a rough wooden box. This was it! I climbed onto the box and pushed the window. I pushed with all my might. With a shattering crash. I immediately scrambled out, hands and feet. Outside was the villa’s backyard, overgrown with weeds. Ignoring the cuts on my palms from the broken glass, I got up from the ground and ran. Bursting through the backyard fence, I ran onto the desolate road. Behind me, the villa lights came on. They had found me. But my legs suddenly buckled beneath me, out of my control
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