Seven years ago, our mating day had been blessed by a full moon, clear skies, and two hearts filled with love. That was all we had back then. Two wolves who’d found each other when nothing else seemed possible.Staring at my mate now, I can’t stop myself from wondering…where did that love go? “I had my heart set on a moonstone necklace.” My words sound nonchalant. Even uncaring. Inside, though, my heart twists and turns with an ache that I’ve been trying to pretend I don’t feel for so long that that pain has become a part of me. Roger frowns, irritation flashing red in his amber eyes. His wolf’s been near the surface for weeks, now. On edge, ready to snap. We used to run together when my mate got tense, but now even our wolves barely seem to recognize each other. He’s been coming home late from the office for weeks. Months. I know he’s been running. Just not with me. “Felicity, when did you become so focused on material gifts?” my mate asks. Since they’ve become the only way I can prove that you think of me, I want to say, but I don’t. My wolf paces and whines, trying to reach the surface, but I hold her back. Later, when I’m alone, I’ll give her the freedom she craves. I’ll release myself and run alone. But right now, I have to keep myself under control. If I let my wolf free…I’m not sure what she’ll do. “Mom, you shouldn’t worry so much about money,” pipes up our son, Orion. He crosses his small arms and frowns, a near-perfect image of his father. “Miss Lillian at Daddy’s work, she doesn’t worry about money at all! And she’s much prettier than you!” I wait a few seconds for Roger to correct the pup with a scolding, but of course, he doesn’t. I’m the one who spent months of my life sick to the point of being bedridden, then days of agony during the difficult birth. I’m the one who nursed the pup. Bathed and dressed him. Soothed his bad dreams. I’m his mother…but clearly, Roger’s been letting the boy’s head be filled with other things. “Then I suppose we should let Miss Lillian be your mother?” My throat squeezes the words. I’m still pretending not to care that the two people in the world I have loved the most have both decided they don’t care about me as much as I do about them. Or even at all. A tense silence builds in the room as Roger glares at me. Orion stares from his father to me and back again. He knows there’s something going on, but he’s too young to understand what. I try not to blame the pup for the things his father has done, but when I hear how little I’m loved… Well, I’m broken. That’s all. My mate has broken me, and there aren’t even enough pieces of me left to put back together. “Felicity, don’t say such terrible things to our son,” Roger snaps. Orion, on the other hand, beams with a grin that is too painful for me to see. I have to turn away from his joy. He dances back and forth, clapping his small hands. “Oh, yes, Daddy! Let Miss Lillian come to be my new mommy! She won’t make me eat broccoli! She’ll give me ice cream whenever I want!” The words sting like the slice of razor-sharp claws across my skin. I have to turn away. Of course, the pup wants a mother who will let him do whatever he wants. Orion’s too young to understand that a mother’s job is not to be a friend, but to take care of him and raise him to be a decent adult. It’s the fact that my mate doesn’t defend me that has finally pushed me to the brink. Slowly, I turn and walk away from both of them. In the bedroom I still share with my mate, I begin packing a small suitcase. Roger comes in behind me and puts his arms around me. His familiar scent—pine needles, fresh forest air—envelopes me. The scent of him used to flood me with love and desire, but now it only churns my stomach. Beneath my mate’s scent I detect a different one…female. Gardenias. Grass. Lillian Miller. “How could you walk away from our pup like that, Felicity?” When I don’t answer, Roger, nuzzles the back of my neck. “I’ll take you to the jewelry store tomorrow. You can pick out whatever you want.” I resist the urge to let him take me in his arms and kiss me. Instead, I pull away and move back to the closet to pull out a few of my dresses. Without looking at him, I say, “Let’s break our bond.” “Over a damned necklace?” Roger’s voice booms. “We are not true mates. We’ve always known it. Our bond…” I can’t finish. I can’t bear to remind him that we joined together because we were all each other had back then. Not having the true mate bond had not mattered…it still shouldn’t matter. But it does. “What about Orion? I won’t let you take him from me. Now that I’m the Alpha—” Oh, yes. The Alpha. When we had made our mating bond, Roger had been nothing. Nobody. “I won’t take him from you,” I say as my heart breaks. My voice stays calm, though. Our eyes lock. Silence stretches between us. Roger grabs my wrist, grinding the bones together, but I show no pain. My voice is hard. “I don’t want either one of you. You and him, I’m done.” My lie is like poison on my tongue, and I’m sure it’s going to kill me the same way.
“Roger Dent, I hereby renounce our mating bond. I release you from the blessings the Moon Goddess has bestowed.” My words ring out, clear as bells ringing.“Is this what you really want?” my mate demands. No. No longer my mate. He might as well be a stranger I’d never met, rather than one I’d once known. I don’t say anything, letting him decide for himself. Roger snarls as his wolf leaps into his gaze with a flash of red. He’s not upset about losing me, I think. He’s furious that I could be the one to decide I want to break the bond. That’s all. The pack will gossip about it—but in the end, none of them will care, either. Their Alpha has a new Luna ready to step into my place. Who knows? Maybe she’s even his true mate. Why else would the Moon Goddess have allowed him to betray me with her? “Felicity Dent,” Roger snarls. “I hereby renounce our mating bond. I release you from the blessings the Moon Goddess has bestowed.” I thought my heart had ached before, but now the slice of our bond being broken nearly sends me to my knees. Roger staggers back, too, and I don’t want to take joy in seeing him writhe with pain. But I do. I want him to hurt about this. The pain fades quickly, reminding me once again that we might have loved each other once, but we’d never been the kind of true mates the Moon Goddess intends for each other. The kind whose bond can never be broken. “Mommy? Daddy? Are you fighting?” We both turn to see our son watching us from the doorway. Instantly, I’m swept back to the first time I saw his tiny, wrinkled face. The first time I held him in my arms. I’d believed in that moment that I would do anything, fight anyone, even die myself, to protect my son. “No,” his father says sharply, a hint of his wolf’s powers in the growl of his tone. “Your mother has decided to leave us, Orion. She’s packing her things.” I brace myself for tears, for my child to run into my arms and beg me to stay. Surely, a mother’s love can’t be turned aside so easily? But to my despair, Orion seems to have been so thoroughly turned away from me that he jumps up and down with glee, clapping his small hands. Carefully, I pull the small notebook from my dresser and crouch to hand it to him. He takes it curiously. He’s only six. He can barely read. “When I’m gone, you’ll need to know all of this,” I whisper roughly. Orion flips a page to see the lists of his allergies and medications, of his vaccinations and the tests all young wolves must undergo to ensure the safety and strength of our pack. As the Alpha’s son, Orion’s bloodline must be carefully recorded, because one day it’s entirely possible that he’ll be mated with a she-wolf from a neighboring pack to strengthen the bonds between families. Roger hadn’t had such records. He’d become the Alpha through sheer determination and hard work, rising through the ranks to serve the last Alpha, who’d died without an heir. I won’t deny that Roger deserved the honor of leading our pack. He worked for it. But it did change him. Changed us. “I don’t want this.” Orion, in a fit of temper, slams the notebook to the ground and stamps his foot. He crosses his arms over his chest. “My new mommy won’t make me do things like read stinky old books!” Only a short time ago, hearing this would’ve shattered my already broken heart. Now I’m only numbed. In fact, an odd sense of relief washes over me… I’m not abandoning my pup. I’m releasing him, and his father, to live a better life with a Luna and a mother they both want, instead of me. Carefully, I return the notebook to its place. I pick up my suitcase. It’s lighter than I expected; I’d decided against taking many of the pretty dresses and other personal items I’d had to buy for myself because my mate couldn’t be bothered to surprise me with gifts. “Felicity!” Roger’s warning tone turns me back in the doorway. Slowly, I face him. It’s too much to hope that he’ll call me back into his arms. His sneer tells me I was a fool even to think of it for one second. “If you walk out that door,” he threatens, “don’t think you can ever come back. You will be abandoning your role as Luna of the Summit Pack. And you will be banned from the pack forever. Shunned.” “I know.” Beg me, I think. Beg me to come back…no, Roger, my mate, my love…just ask me. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll do it. Orion, my son, my heart…just ask, and I’ll suffer anything for you. I’ll stay. Neither stop me. My mate, nor my son. Both say nothing as I leave them both behind. And then, just before I’m out of range, my wolf’s fine-tuned hearing picks up one final sentence from my son. “Daddy, is Lillian really going to be my new mommy?” “Yes, Orion. She’ll be a better mommy than the one who just left.” As I hear the sounds of my son’s joy, I drop the case. I shift, giving my wolf the freedom she’s been craving, not caring about the things I leave behind. I run.
Ten years ago, Roger and I had both come to the city to work for the Summit Pack. Roger had been part of Alpha Gerald’s administrative team, while I’d been assigned a less glamorous job in the pack’s accounting department. Both of us had come from loyal Summit Pack families, but ones without high pack status. Both of us had been hoping, of course, for more.The first time I saw him, I’d felt a flutter in my chest. My wolf had howled in recognition. No bursts of light, no starry skies exploding between us, so no, not true mates. But we’d both liked each other enough to see each other whenever we could. Without a higher pack status, it was really more than we could hope for to find good bonded mates. I’d felt lucky to meet a man I found attractive, funny, smart. One whose wolf appealed to mine as well. The first time we went into the forest and stripped down to shift and run under the full moon, I’d thought, “Yes, I could love him.” And I had. I’d thought he loved me, too, when he asked me to be his. When we’d said the bonding words that were meant to tie us together for the rest of our lives. When we had pledged our loyalty to each other, to the pack, and to the Moon Goddess. Alpha Gerald had given us a bonding gift of our own quarters. They were in the basement of the pack house. Dank. Cramped. Befitting our rank, yes, but also, our own space. We’d spent many hours there together, making love. Talking about the future. Our meals and our surroundings were poor, but I’d felt rich with the blessings of a mate who cared about me. Roger had always promised me that this wasn’t forever. “I’ll give you the best life one day, Felicity. I swear by the Moon. I’m going to work hard, and the Alpha will see I’m worth promoting. And he had been. I’d been proud of him when he moved up the ranks of the Alpha’s team until he became the Beta of the pack. A year after that, we’d welcomed Orion into our lives. The year after that, Lillian had come to the city. She and Roger had both grown up in the same small village. At first, I’d been happy that he’d had someone from “home.” A family friend, he’d said. I’d only found out later that he and Lillian had been bond promised to each other, and that the only reason he hadn’t become her mate was because he’d decided to leave the rural life to see if he could make something of himself in the city. At first, I’d brushed it off. Roger and I had been mates for years at that point. We shared a child. I’d supported him as he worked hard to impress the Alpha. If that meant spending time with Lillian, it was only because she’d been assigned to the same administrative team. Because they had a lot to catch up on with the news of their families at home. Because they’d been friends when they were young. I didn’t want to believe that the passion Roger had left behind when he didn’t go through with their bonding could ever return. He loved me, didn’t he? Now I wonder if he ever loved me at all, or if I’d simply been a convenience. Once Lillian showed up, it certainly seemed as though my mate had started getting irritated over the smallest things. I’d played it off as the tension of stepping into the Alpha role, one which he hadn’t been trained from birth to take. Then one day, I could no longer ignore what the Moon Goddess had been trying to show me—Lillian was more than a friend to my mate. Orion had gone with Roger to the office for the day. I’d thought it would be good for the pup to see his father’s prominent position in the pack, and good for Roger to spend time with his son. But when they came home later that night, the little boy who’d once run so joyfully into my arms resisted my hug. With his little arms crossed and a scowl, he said, “I want candy!” “No, sweetheart. Not until you’ve had a healthy dinner first.” I’d always prided myself on being the kind of mother who made sure her family was taken care of in all aspects. “I hate you!” Orion screamed. “You’re a bad mommy! Bad, bad! You took Daddy away from Lillian and she lets me have candy and you don’t let me have candy and I hate you! Daddy hates you too! He loves Lillian!” At that moment, it was as though I’d been shoved off a cliff into the icy depths of a river with a current so strong it swept me away. I couldn’t fight it. All I could do was stagger upright and look to my mate for reassurance that what our pup was saying couldn’t be true. Roger had laughed off the child’s insults and promised me over and over that what Orion had said was only his imagination. But I knew I wasn’t imagining the scent of another she-wolf on my mate’s skin. And I wasn’t imagining the way his wolf flashed in his eyes when he spoke about her. I was not imagining that I was already losing him…if I’d ever truly had him at all. Banned from the pack. Shunned. I’d left behind everything I owned when I ran that night, but I’d been able to find myself a small rental apartment on the far edges of town, just barely outside the official pack territory. Technically, I’m forbidden to work or live in the city, but I’ve managed to find a job doing the books for a small restaurant that serves the travelers passing through the packlands. It’s a rough and motley crew, and nobody asks questions. Roger could find me here easily enough if he bothers to look, but…I don’t think he will. I’ve given him everything he wanted. Lillian. Our son. The three of them are now officially beloved, the first family. She is his true mate Luna, or so the official story goes. They’ve erased me entirely. A year has passed since the day I left my mate, and not a day has gone by that the scar from his mating bite has not itched or burned in a reminder of how I’d broken our bond. I’ve stopped praying to the Moon Goddess for relief. Whatever she plans for me, I can’t bring myself to care about any longer. She has betrayed me more than my mate did. I thought my life would remain this way forever—balancing the books in the back of the tiny restaurant. Packing up leftovers to take home to my tiny apartment. Falling asleep, sometimes with tears on my pillow—many times with eyes dry because I don’t even have the strength to cry any longer. But today as I reach the steps to my building, a small, heartbroken sobbing turns me toward the gutter. Something twists inside me at the sound—it’s a child. Instantly, I’m a young mother again, cradling my newborn pup. Bringing him to my breast to nurse. Laughing with exhaustion, weeping with joy. I had loved my son with everything I had. “I beg you, Moon Goddess! Stop torturing me!” The crying doesn’t stop. There’s a little girl in the gutter. Her dress is torn and filthy, her hair matted and tangled. She’s shaking and weeping, curled into a ball. “Hey, hey, little one.” I crouch beside her, hesitantly reaching to touch her shoulder. “What’s going on? What’s your name?” “M…M…Mia…” “Where are your parents, Mia?” She turns her tear-streaked face to mine. “My mommy is gone. And Daddy’s new wife took me here and left me…” I look around, but there’s no adults nearby. The street is too dangerous for a pup this small. Quickly, I gather her into my arms and take her into my apartment, where I settle her at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and some cookies I brought home with me. “I’ll be right back,” I promise her. I ask all the neighbors if they know who she belongs to. One by one, they shake their heads. In this part of town, people keep to themselves. Even if they know something about you, they probably won’t share it. But when I beg for any information about who has abandoned this girl pup, only one person relents and tells me that her stepmother was seen beating her and then kicking her out of the car, into the gutter, and driving away. “Her father is one of those rough sorts,” my neighbor, Alison Redfur, tells me, looking quickly around to make sure nobody’s overhearing us. “Honestly, the pup is better off in the gutter than with either of those two.” Back in my apartment, I see that Mia has finished all the food and drink I left for her. She has fallen asleep, her tiny cheek pressed to my table. For one moment, I allow myself to stroke her dirty hair. I can’t keep her. She doesn’t belong to me. And I don’t really want to give my heart to another child, do I? I don’t want to trust anyone, ever again, by loving them… She needs you. The words ring like golden bells. My wolf paces, whining, then bows in my head at the sound of the voice. The Moon Goddess has spoken, or maybe I’m just finally losing my mind altogether. I can’t deny that Mia needs me, though. She can’t be more than seven years old. The same age as my son. One taken from me. One given in his place. Mia stirs sleepily and looks up at me with scared, sad eyes. I smile gently at her. It takes her a few seconds, but finally, she smiles in return. “Would you like to stay here with me?” Her entire face lights up. She leaps into my arms. “Yes! Please, yes!” Laughing, we both spin around my apartment’s tiny kitchen. It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I laughed at anything. When we finally settle down, I look at her and shake my head. “Let’s get you a bath and some clean clothes.” “And more cookies?” Mia asks hopefully. “No more cookies until you’ve had a proper dinner,” I warn and brace myself for a tantrum and hateful words. Mia nods, instead, her grin wide. “Okay!” My heart twists again, this time with something I recognize. It’s…hope. Weeks pass. Then, months. Nobody comes looking for the pup, and we fall into a routine together. Watching Mia fold a stack of towels I brought back from the laundry, I have to wonder what she’s been through in her young life. My son is the same age and would have struggled to simply pour a glass of water on his own. I’m to blame for that, I know, because I babied him. Whoever raised Mia until now did not treat her like a child, but more like a servant. “Mia, you don’t have to do all that,” I tell her gently. “Mom, I want to help you!” My heart pangs at the sound of that word, but I don’t want to tell her not to call me by that name. “I have some work to do at the table. Then I’ll make us some dinner.” I’m so focused on the piles of accounting books in front of me that I don’t notice her at first until she taps my shoulder. Mia puts a mug of hot tea with lemon, just the way I like it, in front of me. I sit up, my back aching and eyes sore to realize I’ve been working for hours. “Drink this, Mom,” she says softly. Once, a few weeks before I left my mate, I’d been stuck on the couch with a bad cold. My throat had felt like it was filled with broken glass, and I’d barely been able to keep my eyes open. I had asked Orion, who was playing video games, to get me a glass of cool water. He had replied, “Get it yourself.” I had tried to call my mate to come home to take care of me, and Lillian had answered his phone. “Mom? Don’t cry.” Mia puts her arms around me, and I realize with some embarrassment that tears are streaking silently down my cheeks. “Are you sad?” I shake my head and tell her a small lie. Forcing a smile, I reply, “Sweetheart, I’m crying because I’m so happy I found you that day. I’m so proud of you and glad you’re here.” Mia’s eyes well with tears, and I pull her onto my lap to rock her as she cries against me. I want to hurt the people who treated this precious little girl so terribly. I’m determined to make her life the best it can be. A pounding at the door startles us both. Warily, I set Mia on her own feet and put a finger to my lips to remind her to stay quiet. Cautiously, I go to the door and peek through the peephole. When I see it’s Alison Redfur, I open the door. “The Alpha and his family are coming!” “What?” Blinking rapidly, I clear my eyes of the tears I’d been shedding only moments ago. She’s excited. “The word is spreading! He’s taking a tour of the city, so they’ll be visiting our street!” “When?” My heart pounds in shock. “Tomorrow,” she says with a wide grin and bright eyes. She clasps her hands together. “Oh, I’ve never seen the Alpha in person! I’ve heard the Luna is even more beautiful in real life than in her portraits! Nothing like that sour-faced old bitch he had as his first mate.” My lips press together at her insult. She has no idea that she’s talking about me, of course, and I’m not going to tell her. I’ve been careful not to ever give away that I was once mated to Roger Coldwater. When she leaves, I fix Mia’s dinner and put her to bed. Only when I’m sure she’s fast asleep do I pull out the box from under my bed. It’s full of clippings I’ve saved about my former mate and his new family. I hate myself for keeping it all, but I’ve never been able to stop myself. As I sort through the photos of them looking happy, my fingers curl into fists, crumpling the clippings into unrecognizable wads. I’ve made a life here on the edge of town. With this child who’s taken up the empty place in my heart. But if the Alpha and his Luna and “their” pup are in fact going to tour this street, I should take Mia and run. I can’t risk us being discovered. Not only because I’m banned—although technically I’m allowed to live here, I have no doubts that Roger might be vindictive enough to bend the rules if he wants to. But because I don’t want to risk being found out and shunned. I could survive that, but Mia? I can’t do that to her. Quickly, I pull together all the spare funds I can find. There isn’t much. My job at the restaurant pays the bare minimum, and although I keep my expenses down as much as I can, I’m only scraping by. I love having Mia in my life, but feeding and clothing a child is expensive. In the living room, I search for anything I can sell. Again, there isn’t much, but I could make some cash by selling my furniture…but who would buy it in time? As I look out the window to the street below, I spot a squadron of the Alpha’s elite forces marching their way along the pavement. It’s too late. They’re already here. Last night, the advance security squad came along our street to make sure it was safe for the Alpha and his family to walk along. I didn’t have time to get Mia out of there, and now it’s too late. We’ll have to wait. My plan is to hide inside our apartment until they’re gone, but even that is denied when a squad soldier pounds on the door. “Get out there and greet the Alpha!” he demands. “We want everyone out there to show how much you love him!” “Mom?” Mia sounds scared, so I gather her close. I’m worried the squad member will recognize me, but I shouldn’t be. The Luna he knew with the manicured nails, fancy hairstyles and clothes, no longer exists… At least, I’m not her anymore. I wear plain, cheap clothes, and my hands are rough. My hair is still long and lush, but stress has threaded the darkness with strands of silver. Even my wolf is more subdued than she used to be. The only way to get through this will be if I go along with what they want. So, I take Mia and we join the rest of our building along the sidewalk to watch the Alpha, Luna, and their little prince walking along. She tosses flowers and candy into the crowd. Roger holds Orion’s hand. Orion waves proudly, loving the way everyone cheers for him. I do my best to stay out of the way, but the crowd is so excited to see the Alpha that I find myself and Mia being shuffled forward to the edge of the sidewalk. I wish I had thought to put on a cap to shield my face, but it’s too late, now. Mia holds my hand, but then she lets go to clap and cheer along with the crowd. I don’t have the heart to tell her not to…after all, she has no idea that the man she’s been taught to revere and adore was once my mate. “Mom?” Her small hand creeps back into mine, and she turns her face up to look into my eyes. Hers are concerned. “Are you okay? You look sad. Don’t you want to see the Alpha and the Luna and Prince Orion?” “Of course I do, honey.” I force a smile and clap and cheer along with the crowd. As the first family draws closer, I can’t stop the panic rising inside me. Fear, but also fury and grief. My hands curl into fists. I wish this didn’t hurt me. I wish I didn’t look at my former mate’s face and feel the fresh heartbreak all over again, but as Roger pauses to take his Luna’s hand and kiss it in front of all the crowd, I want to scream and sob and hit them both. I want to hurt them as badly as they hurt me, but I can’t…because they don’t care about me. He makes a show of slow dancing with her in the center of the street while the crowd goes wild. Lillian blushes like she’s shy. Oh, none of these people screaming their happiness at the sight of her have any idea of how cruel she truly is. Mate stealer…child stealer! Roger lifts Orion up to show him off to the crowd, and again, everyone around me and Mia goes wild. They’re cheering, stomping their feet, whistling. Roger has always been a very popular Alpha, which is even more incredible since he was not Alpha Gerald’s blood son but had to win the hearts of the people. I’d been so proud to see how beloved he became, so quickly, but now all I feel is a thin and futile fury that chokes me until I think I’m going to pass out. I can’t press back against all the people surging forward. There are barriers set up to stop anyone from approaching the first family and plenty of squad members to keep the crowd in check. Yet when someone pushes hard from behind, I stumble forward and knock the barrier out of the way. Mia screams in fear as I fall forward, but she’s too small to hold me back. Stumbling, I fall past the barrier and onto my hands and knees. Pain flares, but so does humiliation. Why is that I always seem to be sent to my knees by my former mate and his new love? As I struggle to get to my feet, two squad guards grab me by the arms. I can’t help but laugh at how they hold me—they think I’m trying to get to the Alpha. They can’t be further from the truth. If anything, I wish they’d pull me away faster, before Roger or Lillian or Orion can spot me, but once again, it’s too late. Orion spots me and points, saying something to his father that I can’t hear over the roar of the crowd. Mia breaks free and runs to me. She grabs my hand to help me up, not caring about the big, scary guards in her way. “Mom! Mom!” she cries. “Are you all right?” Orion runs toward us, his face twisted with anger. “Who said you could hold my mom’s hand?” Before anyone can react, he shoves Mia to the ground as hard as he can.
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