Better Off Without You

For seven years, I chased Julian. Seven years he pushed me away. Everyone said Myra was obsessed with him, and Julian hated her. But what they didn’t know? Julian worshipped me in bed. Loved me with everything he had. Outside those walls, I gave everything. Got nothing back. Five years after we broke up, we met again at a reunion. My old high school classmate Sarah whispered, “Myra, still after Julian? He’s single. Go for it!” Before I could answer, Julian showed up—looking like a millionaire. “Myra, long time no see. How’ve you been these last five years?” I looked down, smiled cold. “Better without you.” Julian’s spoon clattered to the floor, the sharp sound echoing through the private dining room. His usually unreadable expression finally cracked the moment I smiled and spoke. While the server came to replace the cutlery, he leaned closer to me. “Myra…” I nudged my chair back slightly, putting an arm’s length between us. His beautiful eyes instantly dimmed. “I’ll drive you home after this.” “No thanks.” I refused without a second thought. “It’s raining. You can’t ride your bike.” Outside the window, the rain intensified. He was right, I couldn’t ride my bike. I’d have to call for a ride. “If you’d taken that compensation back then, you wouldn’t be living like this now.” I didn’t know if he meant a severance package or payment for an abortion. After all these years, he owed me more than just a little. Five abortions, just for starters. A wave of annoyance washed over me. I followed his gaze to the stain on my pants leg. That’s when I remembered being splashed by a black Maybach on the way here. So, Julian was the driver. He’d gotten a new car again. Guess he had too much money, buying cars to avoid taxes. “I brought my raincoat. Don’t bother.” Julian scrutinized me for a few moments, then sighed deeply. “Myra, why do you always have to be so stubborn…” “Julian!” A sweet, clear voice interrupted Julian. Everyone turned to look. A woman stood at the doorway, dressed in a light gray business suit, her exquisite makeup highlighting her striking features. Everyone exchanged glances, guessing her identity. I, however, didn’t even lift my head, quietly continuing to eat. I’d been sleeping a lot lately, waking up late in the afternoon. Sarah’s frantic calls had dragged me here before I’d even had a chance to eat. I was starving. “Myra?” Chloe, with an exaggerated gasp of surprise, grabbed my arm. My hand slipped from her grasp. “You’re here too? Julian said it was our high school reunion, and I wondered if you’d show up!” I gave a weak laugh, subtly pulling my arm away. “Who is this?” Sarah, sitting beside me, finally couldn’t resist asking. Everyone looked at Julian. “My fiancée, Chloe.” Julian’s words were brief, devoid of emotion. So, even someone like Julian would openly acknowledge his partner. Seven years of a secret romance, three years of a secret marriage. Ten years of being unacknowledged, reduced to a colossal joke. At first, everyone seemed confused, but then someone blurted out “Congratulations,” and the room buzzed with excitement again. Chloe took a seat next to Julian. They looked like a couple, accepting everyone’s well wishes. “I’m late, so I should chug three drinks. But Julian won’t let me drink these days, so I’ll toast everyone with a soft drink.” Chloe was savvy. Even with Julian staying still, she alone raised her glass and toasted everyone in the room. The atmosphere quickly livened up. Within minutes, everyone was singing her praises. “Oh, right, I heard someone in your class chased Julian for seven years. Who was it?” “I’m so curious, who had that much patience?” Chloe glanced around the room, asking playfully. I kept my head down, the smile gone from my face. No one in the room responded, and no one dared to look at me. They were all afraid I’d flip the table in a fit of rage. Growing up, I was known for my fiery temper and holding grudges. Except for Julian, almost no one could rein me in. That’s why, during the years I chased Julian, hardly any girl dared to talk to him. “She didn’t make it today.” Sarah kindly spoke up for me. “Oh? That’s a shame.” “I was thinking of sending her an invitation…” Chloe feigned regret with a sigh, then laughed and leaned into Julian’s embrace. Sarah’s eyes were wide as saucers, glaring at Chloe. “Seriously, what a brazen woman, right?” Watching Sarah turn her indignation into eating, I chuckled, pouring her a glass of water so she wouldn’t choke. Sarah threw her arms around mine. “Myra, is it really over between you two?” “Can you really not be with Julian?!” Sarah’s jaw dropped so wide, you could’ve fit an elephant in it. Her pupils actually trembled. I turned to Julian, seeking confirmation. “Isn’t that right, Julian?”

Julian’s brow twitched slightly, and he nodded, acknowledging it. “Seriously?!” Sarah instantly jumped up, becoming even more frantic. The whole room was stunned. After all, during the seven years I chased Julian, everyone thought he hated me to death. They even came up with the idea of “visceral disgust.” Chloe’s perpetually smiling face now looked utterly stiff. She hadn’t expected me to reveal my past relationship with Julian, nor had she expected Julian to confirm it. “So, Julian’s ex-girlfriend was Myra! How unexpected!” “Well, then I have even more to thank Myra for. Thank you for stepping aside and giving me a chance to be with Julian.” Chloe said, picking up a glass to offer a toast. A glass of orange juice for her, a glass of wine for me. I pushed the wine away, my face cold. “Sorry, I can’t drink.” “Why can’t you drink?” Chloe wouldn’t let it go, constantly pushing the wine glass closer. “I remember when you were a sales director at the company, you could really hold your liquor.” “Didn’t you even teach me how to train my alcohol tolerance back then?” In our senior year of college, Julian started his own tech company. Back then, for him, I turned down the job my family arranged and went to help him. His startup was struggling, barely surviving. Julian’s inherent pride meant he refused to grovel for money, but I wasn’t. I was the one who had to humble myself. Every contract, every partnership, every round of funding—I fought for them tooth and nail, drinking myself sick at countless business dinners to seal the deals. Julian was undoubtedly grateful to me then. That’s why he proposed. Our seven-year secret romance led to three years of secret marriage. Julian would make me comfort food, hearty broths to soothe my hangovers, and hold me close to lull me to sleep when I was a drunken mess. Even when we didn’t have much money, he’d remember every anniversary and buy me expensive gifts. Aside from refusing to acknowledge me publicly, Julian gave me almost everything. That’s one of the reasons I struggled to forget that relationship. I always felt that, in some ways, he did love me. Later, as the company gradually succeeded, Julian solidified his position with his exceptional talent. The company also started expanding. Chloe was hired around that time. I was the one who recruited her. Julian told me, “I don’t like you going out to negotiate deals. You can find someone else to handle the drinking.” From then on, I gradually retreated to a behind-the-scenes role. Chloe was young and naive, often getting completely wasted at business dinners. I started teaching her how to persuade clients to drink, how to build up her alcohol tolerance, how to close deals at the table. She was a quick study, with a natural talent. And because she was lively, outgoing, and attractive, she quickly secured several major contracts. Julian was very fond of her, a fondness he made no effort to conceal. Besides the well-deserved bonuses, Julian started giving her extra rewards. Expensive clothes, designer bags, jewelry—they flowed into Chloe’s pockets like water. They started entering and leaving the company together, intimately, as if no one else was around. I protested countless times, but it always ended with Julian getting angry and leaving. “Myra, don’t project your sordid thoughts onto other people.” “Myra, if you keep making a scene, there’s no point in us being together.” That relationship, at my expense, almost ruined my life. Looking at the beautiful glass of wine in front of me, I met Chloe’s gaze. “Didn’t I also teach you? Never pressure a woman to drink.” With that, I put down my forks and poured the wine from her glass into Julian’s. “Julian, if you can’t control your woman, don’t bring her out to make a fool of herself.” Julian’s face instantly changed. He grabbed Chloe, pulling her back. “Stop it.” “Sit down and eat. Even if you don’t eat, the baby in your belly needs to.” The moment those words left his mouth, the meal in front of me turned instantly tasteless. A wave of nausea surged through my stomach, and I shot to my feet. “Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”

The moment I stepped out, the cold wind, carrying fine rain, burrowed into my coat, leaving me wet and shivering. I couldn’t help but shudder, and half the nausea dissipated. A baby. They were having a baby. Julian, the man who always claimed he disliked children, was having one with another woman. In ten years, Julian and I had a total of five pregnancies, but without exception, all were lost. Julian had one terrible habit: he hated using protection. Every time, I’d take birth control, and if I got pregnant, I’d have an abortion. The reasons for not having children were simple: we were in the middle of building his career, and he didn’t like kids. Each time I had an abortion, Julian would buy me many gifts to cheer me up. He always said we were still young, and we hadn’t had much time for ourselves during those busy years. Perhaps because I loved him too much, I was always swayed by a few words from him. Because of the drinking and long-term birth control, my body was already under immense strain. During the fifth pregnancy, the doctor said if I lost this one, I might never be able to have children again. On our third wedding anniversary, I prepared a table full of food, wanting to talk to Julian. I wanted to keep this baby. But he never came home. Instead, I found him and Chloe making out on the office sofa. “Myra, who allowed you to come in without knocking?” “Get out!” Julian snatched clothes from the floor and covered Chloe, who looked up at me, innocent as a startled fawn. That day, I fled. I even remembered to close the door behind me. When Julian returned that day, our home was a mess. I’d smashed the food and cake onto the floor, shredded all our photos together, and shattered everything I could. Julian walked past the debris and sat down in front of me. I was the first to speak. I asked him when it had started. “You don’t want to know.” “Myra, why can’t you just be happy as Mrs. Thorne at home?” Julian was as cold as ever, his words like icy blades piercing my heart. I snapped, dialing Chloe’s number right in front of him. Julian snatched my phone, smashing it to pieces. “Are you out of your mind? She doesn’t know anything!” The air instantly solidified. I laughed bitterly, asking him, “Julian, does she really know nothing?” Julian and I were secretly married. But anyone with eyes could see that our relationship was different. Chloe had inquired about Julian and me more than once; even a fool would have understood. “At least I never told her.” Julian’s cold words spilled out, and in that moment, I heard my heart shatter. “Myra, I’m warning you, if you cause her any trouble, we’re getting a divorce!” Over the past three years, whenever I was upset because of Chloe, Julian always threatened me with divorce. Every time, I’d humbly back down. But that one time, I agreed. “Julian, then let’s get a divorce.” Later, during the divorce, Julian made harsh demands to force me to compromise, practically insisting I leave with nothing. I was decisive, signing the divorce papers without hesitation. There was no cooling-off period then, so we finalized the divorce quickly. Outside the courthouse, Julian gritted his teeth, warning me not to regret it. Julian seemed so certain I’d come crawling back, full of regret. But I didn’t. For five years, I barely thought of him. If Sarah hadn’t insisted I come to this reunion, Julian and I would never have met again. A weight settled on my shoulder—a black suit jacket. A familiar, cool scent drifted into my nostrils. It was Julian. “Myra, it’s been five years. I can’t believe you really refused to come back.” Without thinking, I pulled off the jacket and handed it back to him. “Go back and be your mistress? Julian, have you no shame? Are you addicted to cheating?” Julian’s face hardened. He grabbed my wrist, then pulled up my inner shirt. My pale stomach was covered in dense, crisscrossing lines. “Myra, five years ago, did you give birth to my child?”

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