I was a disgrace to the entire journalism profession. They said I chased “thrills,” which meant I starred in adult films and fell into a crippling drug habit. Dr. Julian Vance, the chief forensic scientist and my ex-husband, was the one who despised me. He threw me out of our home, accusing me of selling my skin for a quick buck. Later, I vanished completely, just as he wanted. It wasn’t until five years later that Julian received a call from the police department, asking him to pick up an abandoned child. “Can you help me find my mommy? She was sleeping in a red suitcase, and someone carried her away.” Lily’s innocent words brought a roar of laughter from the room. To them, I was just another junkie who had probably gotten high and disappeared on a binge. Julian’s face was dark as he pressed them. “Where is Aubrey Hayes, that wretched woman, hiding now? Did she run out of money for her fix and send you to beg?” I floated in the air, watching Lily raise a blood-spotted rag doll, timidly saying. “Mommy said this is a gift for the hero uncle. It has bad people’s secrets inside.”
I floated above, watching Lily. She was curled on a police station bench, covered in grime, clutching that blood-stained rag doll for dear life. Her small face was a mask of grime, her hair a nest of tangles. The officer beside her made the call, his face a mask of disdain. “Dr. Vance? Your ex-wife’s vanished again. Left the kid. Didn’t want her.” “Once a junkie, always a junkie. When the monkey climbs on their back, they forget everything, even their own child.” I was numb to their vicious, vulgar words. But Lily shouldn’t hear this. I tried to cover her ears, my hands passing through her in a ghostly failure. Powerless. On the other end of the line, Julian’s voice was clear. “I’ll be right there.” Thirty minutes later, Julian finally appeared at the police station entrance. He appeared at the station thirty minutes later, the smell of formaldehyde still on his coat, his expression stormy. He completely bypassed Lily, asking the officer nearby. “Where’s Aubrey Hayes?” The officer shrugged. “Her phone’s off. No one’s home..” Julian let out a cold sneer. “Probably overdosed in a ditch somewhere. Saves us the trouble. One less junkie on the streets.” Lily heard his voice and timidly looked up. “Are you my daddy? Mama said my daddy is a hero.” Julian recoiled in disgust, stepping back to avoid Lily’s outstretched, dirty little hand. “Don’t call me that. I don’t have a child with a junkie, let alone a bastard.” Lily flinched, tears flooding her eyes. In a desperate, hurried motion, she thrust her rag doll toward him. “Mama said to give this to the hero uncle. And we can get food.” Julian slapped the doll away. “Don’t you dare try to disgust me with that filthy thing!” Lily stumbled to the ground, crying as she picked up the doll, carefully brushing off the dust. Julian knelt down, staring at Lily. “Where’s your mother?” “Mama was put in a suitcase by a bad man.” Lily sobbed, hugging her doll tightly. “The suitcase had lots and lots of red liquid coming out of it. Mama told me to run, and to give the doll to Uncle…” The surrounding police officers burst into laughter. “A red suitcase? This kid must have inherited her mother’s psychosis.” “Aubrey probably got high and hallucinated, and the kid’s just making things up.” “Or maybe her drug dealers came for her. Aubrey skipped town with a huge debt, cooking up this red suitcase story to fool the kid.” Julian’s face turned grim, listening to their disgusting remarks. He grabbed Lily’s arm and pulled her towards the exit. “Come home with me. We’ll wait and see when your wretched mother decides to grace us with her presence.” By the car, as the headlights flashed, Julian noticed Lily’s bare arms were covered in dense bruises and tiny needle marks. His face changed instantly, erupting in fury. “Aubrey, that animal! Did she actually inject drugs into such a small child?” I cried out desperately beside him: No! That’s from when Lily was sick, and they drew blood for her medicine! But Julian couldn’t hear me. He only thought I was so depraved I’d even harm my own daughter. Lily didn’t understand the man’s anger. She rubbed her grumbling stomach and whispered, “Uncle, I’m hungry. I want white powder.” Julian’s eyes flashed with fresh disgust. “Drugs? At your age? Find your junkie mother for your fix.” Lily flinched, her small body trembling. “No! Not that white powder!” Lily pleaded, her voice shaking. “Mama said it means formula!” “Lies.” He yanked the car door open and shoved her inside. “You’ve infected your own child, Aubrey. Rot in hell.” The car door slammed shut. Terrified, she clutched her rag doll. “Mama,” she whispered, “will you come back?” Julian heard Lily’s whisper and snarled. “You’d better not.” I pressed against the car window, watching my daughter curled up in the back seat and Julian’s cold indifference. Tears silently streamed down my face.
Julian took Lily back to his villa. I looked at the familiar furnishings inside. This had once been our marital home, still spotless, but everything related to me had been meticulously erased. Lily stood at the entrance, looking at the clean floor, hesitant to step on it. She quietly took off her worn shoes, standing barefoot in the foyer. “Julian, you’re back.” Sophia Reynolds, a woman in a beige shawl, glided out from the master bedroom. It was Sophia, my mother’s adopted daughter. After I “fell” and left home, she seamlessly filled the void I’d left, completely replacing me, staying by my mother’s and Julian’s side. Seeing Lily, she clearly paused. “This child is…” “Aubrey, that bitch, just dumped her here.” Julian loosened his tie, annoyed. “She’s run off again.” Sophia walked over to Lily, kneeling down. “What’s your name, little one?” Lily hugged her rag doll tighter, timidly shrinking back. “Lily.” “What a sweet name.” Sophia smiled and reached out to touch her head, but Lily recoiled. Sophia’s smile faltered for a second, then quickly softened again. “The child is so dirty; I’ll take her to have a bath.” Julian nodded, and Sophia led Lily towards the bathroom. I frantically followed, a sense of foreboding washing over me. Sure enough, as soon as the bathroom door closed, the tenderness vanished from Sophia’s face. She intentionally made the water scalding hot. Lily screamed in pain, but Sophia pretended not to hear, vigorously scrubbing her wounds. “Shut up. A junkie’s daughter has no right to cry about pain.” I desperately tried to push her away, but I couldn’t even touch a strand of her hair. I could only watch helplessly as my daughter was tormented. After the bath, Sophia led Lily out and sighed to Julian. “Julian, look, this child has so many marks on her body.” Sophia lowered her voice. “It seems Aubrey’s life out there… has been a mess. Who knows how much suffering this child has endured with her.” Julian’s face grew even darker. “What good could a junkie ever do?” “Julian, please don’t be angry.” Sophia gently soothed him. “You’ve already done more than enough for Aubrey.” Lily’s eyes lit up when she saw the bread on the table, but she didn’t dare to take it. Julian casually picked up a slice of bread and tossed it at her feet, as if shooing away a stray dog. Lily was starving; she swallowed her pride, picked up the bread, and wolfed it down, almost choking. But she only ate half, then carefully wrapped the rest and tucked it into her pocket. Julian frowned. “Eat, why aren’t you eating more?” Lily was startled by his harsh tone, timidly saying, “Mama… saved for Mama. Mama’s in the suitcase, she doesn’t have food.” “She’s out there selling her body for her next fix. Do you really think she’d starve?” Julian sneered. Lily seemed not to understand. She pulled out a crumpled bill from her pocket, carefully smoothed it flat, and offered it to Julian. “Uncle, Mama said we shouldn’t take things for free. This is all my money.” That was the last ten dollars I got from selling my blood to pay for Lily’s medicine; it still had faint traces of my blood on it. Julian slapped the bill away. “Keep it. Maybe it’ll buy your mother a coffin.” The bill fluttered to the floor. Lily slowly picked it up, folded it neatly, and put it back in her pocket. “Mama said, if I’m good, she’ll come back.” “You actually believe anything that junkie says? She can’t even take care of herself, why would she come back for you?” Julian lit a cigarette. Lily shook her head. “Mama really is in the red suitcase. I saw her.” “I also saw men hitting Mama, and Mama bled so much red. Lots and lots of red…” Lily’s tears started again. “My doll also got red from the liquid. Mama said it has bad people’s secrets inside…” “Enough!” Julian suddenly stood up. “Has Aubrey, that bitch, taught you to lie at such a young age? What red suitcase, what bad guys? It’s all a twisted game she made up!” Lily was so scared by Julian that she collapsed to the floor, crying. My heart was in agony. I reached out to hug my Lily, but my hand passed powerlessly through her tiny body. I’m so sorry, Lily. Mommy was useless. Sophia stepped forward and took Julian’s arm. “Julian, please don’t be angry. It’s normal for a child to pick up bad habits from an adult like that, we’ll just have to teach her slowly.” She turned to Lily. “Sweetheart, what your mommy did was very wrong, but Uncle Julian and Auntie Sophia will teach you to be a good girl.” I looked at Sophia in fury, wishing I could rip apart her hypocritical facade. Before Sophia could finish, my mother stormed into the villa.
Lily was still kneeling, crying into her doll. My mother saw her and began to tremble with rage. “So this is Aubrey’s bastard?” Lily flinched, shrinking back and hugging her rag doll tighter. “Grandma.” she timidly began. “Don’t you dare call me that!” My mother stepped forward and pushed her. “We don’t have trash like you in this family!” Lily fell hard to the ground, hitting her head on the corner of the coffee table. Blood instantly gushed out. “No! Mom! Lily isn’t a bastard!” I frantically rushed to stand in front of Lily, my fingers trembling with fear and rage, but no one could see me. Julian moved to help Lily up. “Don’t you dare touch her!” My mother pointed at Julian. “Why did you bring this little mongrel, born to Aubrey and God knows who, back here?!” I watched helplessly as my daughter’s blood stained the floor. I wanted to hold her, to wipe away her blood, but I couldn’t do anything. How I wished I were still alive, so I could protect my Lily. “Mama…” Lily cried, crawling up, blood streaming from her forehead into her eyes. “Lily hurts so bad…” “Good, I hope it kills you!” My mother sneered. “Your mother was a whore who made adult films, a junkie so far gone she was barely human! You’re no good either!” “My mommy isn’t a bad person!” Lily suddenly cried out loudly. “Mama is a hero!” “A hero?” My mother laughed in disbelief. “A junkie who stripped for money – does she deserve to be called a hero?” She turned to Julian. “Two choices. You send her to an orphanage, or I die on this spot. Your move.” Sophia quickly stepped forward to support my mother, who was swaying precariously. “Mom, please don’t get agitated. Your health is important.” “How can I not be agitated?” My mother clutched her chest. “Aubrey, that wretched woman, has brought nothing but shame to our Hayes family! And now she expects us to raise her bastard child? Dream on!” Julian stood rooted to the spot, his face grim. He looked at Lily, whose face was covered in blood, then at his trembling, enraged mother. “I’ll contact the orphanage,” he said, closing his eyes, his voice weary. “I’ll send her there once I finish the case I’m on.” “No.” Lily cried, crawling to Julian’s feet. “I’ll be good, I don’t want anything, I just want to find Mommy.” “Your mother abandoned you long ago!” Julian kicked her aside. “Stop talking nonsense!” Just then, Julian’s phone rang. “Dr. Vance, we have a break in The Riverbend Dismemberment Case! A complete red suitcase was found at the scene. We need you here, now!” Julian hung up, glancing at Lily, who was sprawled on the floor. “She’s coming with me.” “Julian,” Sophia softly began. “Why not leave the child here?” “Take care of my mother,” Julian said, looking at Sophia. My mother scoffed. “Better if she dies in a place like that. Saves me the trouble of seeing her.” Sophia helped my mother sit down, gently soothing her. “Mom, don’t be angry. I’ll get you some water.” I clearly saw a subtle curve on Sophia’s lips as she turned to the kitchen. I knew she had deliberately told my mother, but I couldn’t expose her hypocritical face. I could only watch helplessly as Julian picked Lily up like a rag doll and tossed her into the car. The car raced into the night. Lily huddled in the back, the cut on her forehead crusted over. She hugged her rag doll, murmuring soft, broken words. “Mama, I found him, but he doesn’t believe me.” “Mama, I’m so scared.” “Mama, are you cold in the suitcase? Please come get me…” An agony I could no longer feel twisted deep inside me. I could only press closer, a silent prayer for warmth I couldn’t give. I’m so sorry, Lily. I failed you. I couldn’t even secure your future.
The car stopped by the riverbend. A crowd of onlookers gathered outside the police tape. Julian put on his gloves, his face expressionless, and knelt down. “Mama! Mama!” Lily, still in the car, excitedly pounded on the window when she saw the red suitcase. Captain Miller, the detective, frowned. “Dr. Vance, why did you bring the child?” “Aubrey’s bastard,” Julian said without looking up. “I’ll drop her off at the orphanage after this.” “No! She’s your daughter! Julian, you can’t send her away!” I screamed with all my might, but Julian couldn’t hear me. Captain Miller sighed. “This child is truly unfortunate, stuck with a mother like Aubrey.” “Unfortunate, really?” Julian sneered. “Like mother, like daughter. She’s only five and already learned how to lie and manipulate for money.” I watched my Lily crying, gasping for breath, my heart in agony. I turned to look at the now cold Julian, remembering seven years ago, when he saved me and his arm was gashed open, bone-deep. He had firmly told me, “No matter what happens, I will always trust you.” But who could have imagined now… The sound of the zipper opening was jarring, and a putrid stench instantly spread. Several young officers covered their mouths and rushed to the side, retching. My face inside the suitcase had been disfigured by acid, my hair shaved clean, and my body twisted into a grotesque angle. Julian used tweezers to turn over the corpse’s arm, telling Captain Miller, “The deceased’s arms are covered in needle marks, indicating long-term drug injection. Preliminary assessment points to a junkie.” “The cause of death is excessive blood loss. The killer’s method is highly professional, more like an execution.” He stood up, took off his gloves. “Send her to the dissection room.” Julian slid back into the driver’s seat. In the back, Lily was still crying, her small fists pounding against the window, her voice worn to a raw, hoarse whisper. “Mama… please don’t go…” A cold glance in the rearview mirror. “Shut up,” Julian said, his voice low and sharp as ice. “That is not your mother. God only knows whose bed a woman like that is in right now.” “Make another sound, and I’ll leave you out here for the dogs.” Lily shuddered, immediately silenced, but tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. In the dissection room, Julian shrugged into a blue surgical gown, his face a mask of detached professionalism as he stood over the table. “Another typical junkie,” he remarked to his assistant, Dr. Anya Sharma, his gloved finger pointing with open disgust at the track marks littering the inner arm of the corpse. “People like this will do anything for money. She deserved what she got.” I floated beside him, looking at those needle marks. They weren’t self-inflicted. They weren’t self-inflicted. The traffickers had forced the injections on me daily, just to keep me under control. But he didn’t know any of this. When Julian examined the ankle, his hand paused. There was a scar there, burned by a cigarette, skin puckered and gruesome. “This scar…” Dr. Sharma leaned closer. “The pattern suggests self-harm. It’s common among marginalized individuals with psychological trauma.” Julian said nothing, just stared at the scar for a long, long time. So long that I wondered if he was remembering something. I would never forget that day. Julian pointed at the new butterfly tattoo on my ankle, his face grim. “No shame at all, Aubrey? Getting trashy ink to help you sell yourself?” I didn’t explain. I just took a cigarette lighter and burned my skin, over and over, right in front of him. The smell of burning flesh filled the air. I trembled with pain, but I bit my lip, not shedding a single tear. “Are you satisfied now?” He looked at me, his gaze shifting from shock to confusion, finally settling into utter disappointment and disgust. “Since you insist on debasing yourself,” “Aubrey, then don’t blame everyone for looking down on you!” That was the last time we ever saw each other. … Julian’s hand, holding the scalpel, stilled. After a long moment, he seemed to snap back to himself and resumed the dissection, his movements now even more precise than before. It wasn’t until Dr. Sharma, sliced open my stomach that she let out a sharp gasp. “Dr. Vance, wait! There’s something… solid inside.” With painstaking care, she used forceps to extract the object and carried it to the sink. The water rinsed away the grime, revealing a ring. And there, etched inside the band, was a tiny inscription: “JV❤AH, 2019.5.20.”
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