Back to That Moment: I Won’t Save Him Again

I decided to give up applying to the same university as Ethan and chose the school of my own dreams. My parents were surprised—I had finally come to my senses. Only I knew that in my previous life, I had chased him to the train station; my parents followed me and died in a car accident on the way home. I was forced into marriage, gave birth, dropped out of school, and spent twenty years carrying the entire family alone. In the end, my husband smashed my head with his own hands. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the moment of decision. This time, I will no longer be bound by the past, nor will I save his life. The day I changed my college application, my dad walked into the study, glanced at me, and nodded approvingly. “Good. With your Stanford acceptance, you should attend a top university! Stop chasing after that Carter boy. What’s so great about him anyway?” My mom, hearing this from the kitchen, rushed in and pulled my dad away, giving him a stern look. I watched my parents leave, smiling, but suddenly felt a lump in my throat. In my previous life, I had run out late at night to find Ethan at the train station. My parents, searching for me, were killed by a drunk truck driver. I never got to see them one last time. Fighting back tears, I moved the mouse and clicked the confirm button to change my college application without hesitation.

In my previous life, Ethan, my childhood sweetheart, suddenly announced he wanted to become a singer and pursue his dreams in New York. But before that, he had always said being with me and attending the same college was his dream. I had even wasted my Ivy League admission to apply to the same average state college as him. But two days before the acceptance letters arrived, he suddenly said he was going to New York to chase his dreams. His sick parents, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, came knocking on our door in the middle of the night, begging me to help find their son. In my previous life, I went. My parents, worried about me, followed and ended up in a car accident. Ethan was later found by me. When he heard his parents say that my parents’ deaths were his fault, they insisted he had to make it up to me. So they forced Ethan to get engaged to me, planning for us to marry right after college graduation. But I got pregnant in my sophomore year and had to take a break from school. We hastily got married, I went through pregnancy and childbirth, and took care of the baby. Two years flew by, and just as I was excitedly planning to return to school, his parents fell seriously ill and came to stay with us for treatment. Ethan said to me: “They’re my parents, they need help now. We’re family. It’s what you do.” As for himself, he always claimed work was too busy, that he needed to make money for “our future,” pushing the full burden of caring for his parents and our child onto me. At the time, to save Ethan’s face, I didn’t mention that his monthly salary of $3,500 wasn’t even enough to cover the children’s formula and normal household expenses. Later, I had to sell our old house to pay for his parents’ medical bills and raise our two children. But while I gave up my education and struggled to manage the whole family, he was out making a bunch of fair-weather friends with his meager $3,500 salary. What little money he had left, he spent on making music, claiming he was fulfilling his dream. Crushed by the pressure of family life and after several failed attempts at communication, we started having huge fights. Things got so bad that our marriage counselor even suggested a trial separation, and Ethan’s boss had warned him that his personal issues were affecting the team. He began calling me bitter and narrow-minded, saying if it wasn’t for me forcing him to come back, he would have already become a big star in New York. He even accused me of using my parents’ death to emotionally blackmail him into marrying me. I didn’t hold back either, calling him delusional, saying his terrible voice made his dream of becoming a singer nothing but a pipe dream! When he brought up my parents’ death, I went crazy, lunging at him to shut him up, only to be violently pushed away. After that, Ethan deliberately started staying away from home. His parents, unable to see their son, blamed everything on me, complaining that I was immature and petty, only knowing how to anger their son. They completely forgot how they had begged me to find their son in the first place. In this miserable life, I gritted my teeth and tightened my belt to do odd jobs and earn money to support the family. But the children I had worked so hard to raise were never close to me, instead being affectionate towards the irresponsible Ethan. I thought the children would understand when they grew up, but I waited for over twenty years, until they were married with families of their own. But they competed to have Ethan live with them, while remaining cold and distant towards me. “Mom, you controlled us too much in the past. We don’t want to hear your lectures anymore.” “Dad’s youthful dreams were stifled by you. Now that he’s older, we want to take him to New York to chase his dreams again.” “Grandpa and Grandma were right. You just want everyone to live according to your plans. You’re so selfish!” I never expected my children to say such things. Devastated, I returned home to find Ethan smugly packing his bags, gloating that he was about to leave me for a better life. After dedicating over twenty years to this family, all I was left with was a reputation for being selfish and controlling. Why did Ethan get to be so carefree? Never taking care of the family or responsibilities, yet ending up as the open-minded father in our children’s eyes? I rushed forward and pushed Ethan. He was stunned for a moment, then immediately grabbed a vase and smashed it towards me. “Damn you, you dare to lay hands on me? I’ll beat you to death…” So our deaths were actually the consequence of our mutual assault. As we both fell to the ground, I was still praying in my heart: if there’s a next life, please don’t let me meet Ethan again.

The day I was reborn happened to be the day I changed my college application. Seeing my parents still by my side, I was determined not to get involved with anything related to Ethan again. After the college entrance exam, parties came one after another. I had just finished a gathering with close classmates when I saw Ethan in the distance, laughing and chatting with his buddies. “I heard Ethan isn’t going to college. He’s going to New York to be a singer!” “Wow, isn’t that the trendy thing now, chasing dreams in the big city? If he becomes a big star, should we ask for some autographed photos now to keep as investments?” “Chloe, didn’t you grow up with Ethan? Did you know he was going to New York?” My friend nudged me, and my gaze happened to meet Ethan’s as he turned his head. With just that one look, I was certain that Ethan had also been reborn. “I don’t know. I have something to do. I’m leaving first.” I turned away without a second thought. If he wants to go to New York, let him go. What does his life have to do with me?

As the day of Ethan’s departure drew near, I whined to my parents about missing Grandma and wanting them to take me to see the new pony at her place. My parents always doted on me, so they packed up without hesitation and took me out. Just then, Mrs. Carter opened her door and was surprised to see us leaving. “Going out?” My dad nodded with a smile, “The kid misses her grandma, so we’re going for a few days.” Mrs. Carter smiled and nodded, watching us leave. I pretended to be nonchalant, but in reality, I was clenching my fists tightly in hatred, trying not to let my emotions show. It was laughable how in my previous life, I thought Mrs. Carter truly cared for me. It wasn’t until later that I realized her intentions were never pure from the beginning. She had long had her eye on our house, which was why she worked so hard to bring Ethan and me together after my parents passed away. Back then, having lost my parents, I was crying every day. The gentle and good-natured Mrs. Carter took care of me daily, making me let down all my defenses. Add to that my feelings for Ethan, and I naturally agreed. Little did I know that they had been planning this all along. I took a deep breath, hiding the slight trembling caused by my anger, and started chatting with my parents about Grandma’s new pony, while catching a glimpse of Ethan hurrying away out of the corner of my eye. Ethan must have realized that I had also been reborn, so he had to move up his plan to run away and chase his dreams. My parents and I had just arrived at Grandma’s house and were enjoying dinner when Mom received a call from Mrs. Carter. “Ethan is insisting on going to New York to be a singer. He’s not going to college anymore. Now he’s acting like it’s a matter of life and death, and his father and I can’t talk him out of it… Could you ask Chloe to come back and try to persuade him? After all, the two kids are close, and Ethan listens to Chloe!” The script was almost identical to my previous life. Mom looked at me, a bit troubled. After all, it wasn’t easy to go back at this time from the countryside. I calmly put down my fork and took the phone from Mom’s hand. “Mrs. Carter, this is Ethan’s own decision. I have no right to interfere, and even if I did, he would resent me for it. I think you should respect his choice!” I hung up decisively, not forgetting to block Mrs. Carter’s number. My swift series of actions left even my parents stunned. Grandma was the first to speak up, telling them to continue eating, muttering that other people’s business is their own karma, and we shouldn’t interfere. I thought Grandma’s words couldn’t be more right! After dinner, I was crouching in the yard, petting the dog’s soft head, when my parents came over. “Chloe, what’s been going on with you lately…” Mom hesitated, “It feels like you’re different somehow.” Dad didn’t say anything, but he looked at me with concern. Their gaze made my nose tingle, and as I wiped my eyes, I realized there were actually tears. “Mom, Dad, let me tell you something. I had a dream.” I lied about having a dream and told them everything that happened in my previous life. When they learned that after their deaths, I had been manipulated by the Carter family all along, Dad’s face turned as black as the bottom of a pot. They always believed me, especially since I said the story began with Ethan wanting to go to New York and Mrs. Carter begging me to find him. They also understood why I suddenly wanted to come to Grandma’s house and why I adamantly refused to go find Ethan. “Oh, my dear child, my precious baby.” My mom was always easily moved to tears. Even though she knew it was just a dream, she quickly hugged me, her tears falling on my head one by one, feeling incredibly sorry for me. Dad lit a cigarette nearby and made a decision. “Chloe having this dream might mean that the Carter family is bad luck for us. I’ve decided, we’ll move as soon as we get back! Get far away from them.” I didn’t expect my parents to support me to this extent. My nose tingled, and I nodded tearfully. At the same time, I hugged Mom tighter, feeling her warmth. We stayed in the countryside for half a month, and I noticeably tanned quite a bit. When we left, Grandma packed a car full of food for us. We still had to live in the old house for a while before moving. As soon as we arrived at our front door, Mrs. Carter quickly opened her door. With red, teary eyes, she looked at us, unable to hide the traces of resentment in her gaze.

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