I’d been undercover for five years with crime boss Damien Thorne. My mission was finally supposed to end. Then, my captain told me the plan was postponed. “There’s a bigger fish behind Damien. We have to wait.” I looked down in silence at the corpse on the floor. Just moments ago, Damien had killed one of his own men in a fit of rage, all to protect me. He walked over, his arm gently wrapping around my waist, coaxing me. “Don’t be scared. As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you. What restaurant do you want to go to tonight?” That night, after Damien had dropped me off in my room, I sent a secure message to my captain: “Captain Miller, we really can’t wait any longer. If we do, I’ll end up marrying a crime boss.” In a derelict building, I finally met my captain, David Miller. He rubbed his temples. “Kira, I know your situation is dangerous right now. But you absolutely have to hold on a little longer.” I gave a bitter smile. He always said that. My phone rang. I answered it. I immediately switched to a sweet, saccharine voice. “Hello? Damien, honey, what’s up? I’m just getting my nails done. Okay, I’m coming right back, don’t be mad, darling.” Captain Miller was probably startled by my feigned sweetness. After all, I was known for being ruthless and cold-hearted back at the station. I shot Captain Miller a glare. “Captain, we agreed. This is the last time. Whether the mission succeeds or not, you have to let me go back.” When I returned to the mansion, I pushed open the front door to a floor covered in blood. “Kira.” Damien stood in a pool of blood, speaking unhurriedly. “They both said you were an undercover cop.” He even ran a blood-stained finger through my hair. “I wouldn’t want anyone falsely accusing you of being a cop. So, I took care of them for you.” A chill ran down my spine. Damien, do you really love me, or is this all an act? That night, after I got back to my room, I secretly called Captain Miller. “I’m coming back. After this job, I’m out. Captain!” “I know. Your flight’s already booked. As long as we catch who Damien is dealing with this time, your mission will be complete.” Captain Miller assured me over the phone. But this time, my patience had run out. “You can’t lie to me this time, Captain. Damien just killed two more people right in front of me today. I don’t even know if he’s sane anymore.” “Alright, I gotta go. Don’t blow your cover.” All I got in reply was the dial tone. I sighed, took out the SIM card, snapped it, and threw it into the bushes below. No sooner had I finished than someone embraced me from behind. “Did I scare you today, huh?” The man carried the faint scent of tropical plants. That scent always brought back memories of home. Damien knew I liked that scent. I wrapped my arms around his waist. My ear pressed against his chest, I was disappointed to hear his heart beating strongly. “I’m fine.” “It’s just… how are you going to explain killing Jax to your men…?” He gripped my chin, tilting my head up. “If I didn’t kill him, should I have killed you instead?” Damien was a complete madman, I knew that. He pressed me against the balcony railing, the night wind soft and lingering. He kissed me, just as gently. As if his hands had never held countless lives, as if he wasn’t the most notorious crime boss to the police. Until his dagger slid under my clothes, slowly moving up, then cutting open my shirt. “No matter what anyone says about you, I believe you.”
The early autumn sun was beautiful. I followed Damien to his deal. His contact this time was infamous, known as “Black Panther.” Based on the intel I passed on, the police should have already set up at the transaction site. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Damien never shied away from my presence at any major event. I couldn’t stop thinking, I could finally go home. Finally, I wouldn’t have to stand in the shadows. Finally, I could go home. I couldn’t even imagine how happy I’d be when I pulled out my gun, pressed it against Damien’s head, and told him, “I’m a cop.” Footsteps echoed down the corridor. Both Damien and Black Panther frowned. The door was kicked open simultaneously. I instantly drew my gun and pressed it against the forehead of the man sitting beside me. “I’m sorry, I’m a po—” Before I could finish, Captain Miller’s voice crackled through my hidden earpiece. “Operation terminated. Kira, you cannot arrest this man.” “…The police are here.” My pistol barely grazed Damien’s forehead, the bullet hitting the wall behind the door. Immediately, everything erupted into chaos. These anti-drug officers who stormed in weren’t actually there to catch fugitives; they were putting on a show. What’s more, their firepower wasn’t even as strong as what Damien and Black Panther had brought. “Kira, your primary mission is to protect Damien.” “He’s a key witness. We can’t lose our lead with you.” The final order came through my earpiece. Damien grabbed me and ran. The anti-drug police were lenient with Black Panther’s men, but for Damien, it was real bullets. As whistling bullets flew past, I stumbled, still wearing my heels. “Move!” Damien practically grit his teeth as he dragged me, uttering that. But I stood there, unmoving. “Go!!” His voice was almost hoarse from shouting. Amidst the commotion, I turned to where my Captain stood, gun raised, pointing it at me. I admit, for a moment. I didn’t want to be this damn undercover agent anymore. If I just took that step, if I fully exposed myself, I wouldn’t be undercover anymore. Captain Miller would surely take me back. But the moment I hesitated, Captain Miller didn’t hesitate to fire a shot at me. In that critical moment, Damien pulled me aside. But he was hit by a bullet. Instantly, blood gushed from his abdomen. Yet he still gripped my hand tightly, pulling me to run outside. “I’m sorry, Damien, I didn’t know…” But before I could finish, Molly, Damien’s step-sister, slapped me. “This is all because of you! My brother is so badly hurt because of you! You’re such a bitch!” She yanked my hair. My scalp stung from the pulling, but I didn’t dare say another word. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Damien in the backseat, his head bowed as he tended to his wound. He didn’t even glance at me. Before, if anyone dared to hit me, he would have ended their life. “I was just… so scared.” I kept my head down, explaining non-stop. There was nothing else I could do; I was back here, and I had to fight for my survival. I still had a mission. Showing weakness, playing coy — those were my usual tactics against him. He always used to go soft on me. But this time… After bandaging his wound, he finally looked up. He pulled out a gun and pressed it against my forehead. “Just now, I distinctly heard you say you were a cop. Care to explain, Ms. Kira?”
My hands and feet were bound. Everything was dark. What methods did these people use to deal with traitors? Cutting off hands and feet, drawn-out torture, throwing them into a ditch to feed rats… Until the blindfold was removed. A bare bulb swung overhead. I looked up, staring at Damien, who was wearing goggles. Was it to prevent blood from splattering on his face? He gripped my chin, forcing my head up. “Do you know what kind of punishment awaits you?” he asked me. I stared at him in silence. He gave me a small smile. “Why are you trembling?” Then, he took out his phone, set it on a stand, and aimed the camera at us. “Kira, I told you, you wouldn’t be a traitor.” …But he took the torture tool and brought it down on his own hand. I had seen many gruesome scenes, but this was the first time I was truly terrified. Then, I heard Molly say, “Damien can’t bear to punish you. But rules are rules, Ms. Kira. The mistake you made can only be borne by Damien in your place.” “I truly don’t understand why Damien ever fell in love with you!” …Soon, Damien couldn’t hold on any longer. The next second, he collapsed onto my lap. Blood was everywhere. I stared at his finger, now on the floor. Until he chuckled softly. “What are you crying for? We’ll just reattach it.” White-clad medical personnel rushed in, collected his severed finger, and lifted him onto a stretcher. Before they left, I heard his soft sigh. “Stay with me, okay, Kira? Forget your old life. If you betray me again, I swear to God, I won’t be able to take it.” Later, I was locked in Damien’s room. I remembered when he first took me in. I was wearing ragged clothes, standing among a line of girls for them to look over. He had never taken an interest in me; I had provoked him step by step. I needed to extract information, and before coming here, I had studied how to become his lover. And then he fell in love with me. “Who are you starving yourself for?” Outside, the rain relentlessly lashed against the window. The man, his hand wrapped in gauze, leaned against the doorframe, watching me. I hugged my knees. Until he walked to the bed and pushed me back onto the blankets. “Do I look like I’m in the mood to coax you?” Angry, he gripped my head, forcing me to face him. “Do I need to feed you?” I took a breath. He picked up a nearby bowl of soup, took a mouthful, and forced it into me. I just felt his body was burning hot, searing me until I couldn’t breathe. “Kira, what in God’s name are you thinking?” He stopped feeding me halfway, then gripped my throat. He asked me viciously. I stared into his eyes, deep and mesmerizing. “Damien, how’s your hand injury?” I held his fingers. The severed finger had been reattached, but terrifying scars remained at the base of each finger. And he probably wouldn’t have the same dexterity as before. As the howling wind swept into the room, I realized he was only wearing a thin shirt. “Damien, did the powerful figure behind you punish you?” I asked him softly. He leaned on my shoulder, seeming tired, with heavy dark circles under his eyes. “Yes.” “Do you regret it?” I asked him. He chuckled softly, then sat upright. “Regret what? Regret meeting you? I regret it to death. But what can I do? Could I ever bring myself to kill you?”
I was locked in Damien’s room, with no way to contact the outside world. So every night, he’d demand me fiercely. He wouldn’t let me use birth control. Finally, I couldn’t hold back and asked him, “Can you please let me go out? It’s so stifling being stuck in your room all day.” “Go out and do what? Test if your homemade communication device works?” he scoffed. I was indeed using whatever I could find in the room to make communication devices; I had to find a way to contact Captain Miller. But I made those devices in the bathroom. “Damien, you pervert, you put cameras in the bathroom!” He raised an eyebrow, neither confirming nor denying. The next second, he smashed the device I’d hidden behind a picture frame onto the floor, gripped my throat, and pinned me against the wall. “I told you not to leave, not to leave, why do you always disobey me?” I lied: “It’s not a communication device. It’s a birthday gift for you.” Anyway, you smashed it, so you can’t tell what it is. The moment I said that, he released me. I didn’t expect him to crouch down and pick up the broken device piece by piece. “It’s a little robot.” I could only force myself to explain. But he picked it up as if it were a treasure. He wiped the dust off with his sleeve and tucked it into his chest pocket. When he suddenly pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, Kira. My fault, I misunderstood you.” His prominent nose brushed against my neck; his emotions shifted so rapidly, I suspected he hadn’t taken his medication today. That night, as he held me close. I called his name over and over. I finally earned the right to go out. He’d been strange these past few days, often sitting alone in the living room, lost in thought. One night, he burst into my room, gripping my shoulders. “Kira, I messed up, I’m too late.” His eyes held a flicker of panic as he hugged me and cried. I didn’t know why he was so upset. He held me tightly, and after a long moment, I realized it was his body’s instinct begging for help. The next day, he was acting as if nothing had happened, kissing the corner of my mouth and wishing me good morning. I suspected his mental illness was getting worse. But it didn’t matter. I had already contacted Captain Miller. The next time we met, it would be in a police interrogation room. “Kira, I keep having the same dream lately,” he suddenly told me. “What dream?” He didn’t answer me, just smiled. Tiny kisses brushed my earlobe, and he whispered, “Kira, tell me, will we have a baby?”
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