Christmas Eve. Mom suffered a sudden brain hemorrhage and was rushed to the ICU. I called my husband Ryan. His ex-girlfriend Celeste answered. “He’s in the shower. Can I take a message?” A few hours later, Celeste updated her social media: “This boutique couples’ hotel has such amazing vibes! Definitely coming back with my boyfriend~” The photos showed clothes strewn across the floor and several used condoms. Ryan texted me: “Working late. Be home as soon as I can.” I didn’t cry. A man who cheats is garbage, and I don’t want anymore. The OR light stayed on. I leaned weakly against the wall, my hand trembling as I gripped my phone. Friends and family showed up one after another. “Jade, how’s your mom?” “Jade, what did the doctors say?” “Jade, isn’t Ryan here with you?” I kept my head down. I had no idea what to say. After Mom was brought to the hospital, the doctor immediately issued a critical condition notice. I watched doctor after doctor go into the OR, but none came back out. As for Ryan? Was I supposed to tell them he’d just posted on social media—photos from a boutique hotel with Celeste? I could only keep my head down and nurse my wounds alone. Ryan’s parents arrived. When Harold didn’t see Ryan, his face darkened. He immediately pulled out his phone to call him. “Where the hell are you? Get over here right now—” Before Harold could finish, Ryan’s irritated voice came through: “Dad, did Jade complain to you again? I’m working late at the office. She knows that!” Margaret spoke up. “Ryan, you—” “Mom, don’t. I can handle things with her. You and Dad don’t need to get involved.” “I’m swamped here. Gotta go.” Margaret looked at me awkwardly. Harold’s face turned red with rage. He was about to call again. I forced a weak smile. “Dad, if he’s working, let’s leave him be.” After I said that, all the strength seemed to drain from my body. I slowly slid down the wall. The friends and family around me were clearly upset with Ryan. He was my husband, Mom’s son-in-law. When my mom was fighting for her life, no matter what he was busy with, he should’ve been here. But he wasn’t. The operating room light went out. The door opened. I looked up with desperate hope, only to see the doctors’ grim faces. My body trembled. I couldn’t believe it. Step by step, I walked toward the operating room. When I finally saw Mom’s body, tears flooded out of me like a broken dam. In that moment, I could no longer lie to myself. There was no one left in this world who would love me unconditionally. I told his parents and everyone else to go home—I didn’t want anyone staying with me at the hospital. I stayed with Mom all night. The next morning, I called a funeral home to arrange for Mom’s body and plan the service. Watching them take Mom’s body away, I pulled out my phone and texted Ryan. [Mom passed away.] I so badly wanted him to call right away, to rush to my side and hold me. But my message went unanswered, like a stone sinking in water. I let out a bitter laugh and wiped the tears from my face. I’d loved Ryan for ten years—love at first sight, five years of friendship, three years of dating, and two years of marriage. I’d grown used to having him around. But from now on, I’d have to get used to life without him.
The first time I saw him, he was wearing a white shirt—tall and straight with a bright, sunny smile. The day he proposed, I was overjoyed. When he slipped the ring onto my finger, I whispered: “For the rest of my life, it’s only you.” His smile back then was so gentle, burned into my memory forever. Before we got married, he doted on me. After we married, I never stopped loving him. But he never showed affection in public. He always said, “Our life is ours alone. What others think doesn’t matter.” I knew he was lying. Because when he was with Celeste, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other—around campus buildings, on the field, along tree-lined paths. I was jealous, but I never pushed him to change. I believed Celeste was in the past—he was my husband now, the one I’d spend my life with. But that belief crumbled every time he left me to be with Celeste. I grew more and more exhausted. Loving him was draining. Celeste called me: “Ryan was so tired from working late last night. I didn’t want him driving home, so he stayed at my place.” “But don’t worry—nothing happened between us.” Hearing the smugness in her voice, I replied calmly, “Oh. Anything else?” Celeste didn’t expect that reaction. After a pause, she said, “Jade, you’re pretty self-aware. You know making a scene won’t help.” “Thanks for the compliment.” I responded politely, then hung up and walked into a law firm down the street. I saw Ryan again the next day. I was packing up Mom’s belongings when he walked in. “Let’s go visit my parents today. I’ll change quick—wait for me, and we’ll head over together.” I didn’t object. Harold and Margaret had always been good to me. Ryan came out quickly after changing. I was shocked. He usually took at least half an hour to get ready. Then I saw Celeste waiting in the car, and it clicked. He didn’t want to keep her waiting. Celeste gave me a sweet smile. “Jade, hop in! I’ll drive today. I’m joining you guys to visit his parents.” I turned to Ryan. “You’re bringing her?” Ryan quickly explained, “Don’t overthink it. Celeste was alone and feeling down, so I invited her to come along.” “It’s just a meal, anyway. We’ll head back right after.” I smiled and opened the back door. He was right—it was just one meal. And it would be the last. “Ryan, sit up front with me so we can talk,” Celeste eagerly opened the passenger door. Ryan glanced at me hesitantly, but only for a second before getting in. I used to worry he’d feel lonely in the back seat and always told him to sit up front. But he refused—he’d rather sit alone in the back. It didn’t matter anymore. I stared out the window as the scenery blurred past, replaying the call I’d gotten earlier from the funeral home. Mom’s body was ready. Tomorrow was her funeral. They asked if I wanted to add anything to the service, suggesting I discuss it with my husband since spouses typically play an important role in funeral arrangements. But watching Ryan laugh and chat with Celeste up front, I had no desire to ask him anything. I pulled out my phone and texted the funeral home. [Remove all parts of the service involving the son-in-law. Keep everything else the same.]
“Jade, who are you texting?” Ryan suddenly asked. I didn’t even look up. “A friend.” He didn’t ask again, but for the rest of the drive, he kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror like he wanted to say something. I ignored him, keeping my eyes fixed on the window. In the past, I used to chatter nonstop during drives. He’d always act annoyed and uninterested. Now I didn’t want to talk to him at all. Harold was happy to see me, but the second he saw Celeste get out of the car, his face turned cold. Celeste pulled two bottles of wine from the trunk. Ryan smiled. “Dad, Celeste brought these for you.” “I don’t want them.” Harold grabbed the bottles and threw them to the ground. Celeste’s face fell. Her eyes watered, making her look pitiful. “Dad, what are you doing?” Ryan shouted, then turned to comfort Celeste. “What am I doing? I don’t have a son like you anymore. Now get out of my house.” Harold’s face was bright red with anger. I said gently, “Dad, don’t say things you’ll regret.” “Stop playing the victim. This is all your fault.” Ryan snapped at me. “You run to Dad with every little thing. Jade, when are you going to grow up? Tattling like a child?” I dropped my smile and nodded. “You’re right. I won’t do it again.” Harold was furious. He pointed at Ryan and shouted, “Why are you yelling at Jade? She didn’t say a word to me. I’m the one disowning you.” “Apologize to her. Now.” Ryan’s jaw tightened, his features sharp with tension. Harold raised his hand like he was going to hit him. I quickly pulled Harold inside. Ryan followed with Celeste. “Jade, I know you’re upset I didn’t come home on Christmas Eve. I can explain.” Ryan’s face was tense, his tone sharp. “I was working late that night. Celeste was worried I’d be too tired to drive, so she let me stay over. That’s all.” “Nothing happened between us. Don’t jump to conclusions.” “Got it.” I replied flatly. Whether anything happened between Ryan and Celeste that night no longer mattered to me. “Don’t you have anything to ask me?” Ryan pressed. “No.” I turned toward the kitchen to help Margaret with dinner. Ryan never cooked—he said he hated the smell of grease. After we got married, cooking became my responsibility. “Jade, don’t worry about that. Let’s talk.” Harold stopped me. He lit a cigarette and sighed. “I’m sorry about your mom. Ryan was completely out of line. As his father, I take responsibility. If you want to divorce him, Margaret and I will support you.” “I wouldn’t ask you to forgive him. I just hope that even after the divorce, you’ll still think of this as home. Come visit anytime.” I stared at my fingertips and said nothing. Ryan’s face turned pale. “Dad, what are you talking about? Why would Jade divorce me? What did I even do wrong?” “And what happened to her mother?” Harold’s hand shook as he held his cigarette, his face contorted with anger. “You still have the nerve to ask? Your mother-in-law always treated you like her own son. And you?” “She had a brain hemorrhage on Christmas Eve. She was in the hospital fighting for her life. Where were you?” “When she died, where were you?” “You have no sense of responsibility. If Jade hadn’t stuck up for you today, you wouldn’t have been allowed through that door.”
Crash. Ryan shot to his feet, his chair toppling backward. “Dad, what are you talking about?” He turned and stared at me. “Jade, tell me. Is he lying? He has to be lying.” I looked into his eyes calmly. “It’s true. My mom passed away. On Christmas Eve.” “That’s impossible.” Ryan’s voice cracked. “Jade, why didn’t you tell me something this important?” “Mom was in the hospital and you didn’t call me?” “Enough.” Harold’s voice boomed. “Jade did call you. I called you too. But what did you do?” Harold pointed at Celeste. “You were busy with some woman. You hung up on me before I could even finish. And now you’re blaming Jade? How did I raise a son like you?” “No. No, that’s not—” Ryan’s forehead glistened with sweat. “Dad, I didn’t know. I swear. I thought—I thought Jade was just complaining to you, trying to guilt me into coming home.” “Jade, you know how much your mom meant to me. How could I not care? I really didn’t know.” “If I had known, I would’ve dropped everything to be at the hospital.” Celeste spoke up in a soft voice. “Jade, don’t blame Ryan. It’s my fault. I saw how exhausted he was and told him to rest. If you’re going to blame anyone, blame me.” “I’m sorry.” She stood and gave me a small bow. I stayed seated and said calmly, “I don’t blame you. I don’t blame Ryan either. Mom just had bad luck. So did I.” “Dad, it doesn’t look like we’ll be having lunch today. I’m going to head out.” I stood and walked toward the door. “Wait.” Ryan grabbed my wrist hard enough to hurt. “Where is she? Where’s your mother’s body? I need to kneel before her and beg for forgiveness.” I gently pulled my wrist free, my movements soft but firm. “You don’t need to. My mom probably doesn’t want to see you.” When Ryan and I got married, Mom was so happy. She told me more than once to treat him well. She said it wasn’t easy for two people to make it to marriage—that we could argue, but we should never say cruel things, and never talk about divorce lightly. I took it to heart. After we married, I never fought with him. I swallowed every bit of hurt. But what happened on Christmas Eve made me see the truth: love isn’t just about compromise. No matter how much I gave, how much I bent, if our hearts weren’t in the same place, we’d never make it work. In Ryan’s heart, Celeste always came first. His love was never really mine. “Jade.”
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