I just found out I was pregnant. Then I found out my husband was cheating. But everyone in my life told me to forgive him. My husband got on his knees and swore he’d never contact that woman again. I swallowed my disgust and decided to forgive him this once. But the trauma triggered severe depression and OCD. From that day on, my husband had to disinfect everything he touched. If he wanted to touch my arm, he had to wear gloves. Finally, when I complained about finding a single hair on the floor, he snapped. He ripped off his protective gear and exploded. “Enough! I cheated ONCE, and you’re going to punish me forever? You’re acting like a psycho!” He deliberately trashed the house. Smashed plates. Kicked over the garbage can. As I stood there looking at the mess, a sharp pain tore through my stomach. Blood began streaming down my legs. And I felt… relieved. “Derek, let’s get divorced.” 1 I couldn’t let it go. The betrayal cut too deep. Knowing that when I was just one month pregnant, he couldn’t keep it in his pants. He had to screw his secretary. The disgust wouldn’t go away. I tried. God, I tried. I tried to forget. Tried to listen to our families. Tried to be the forgiving wife. But I couldn’t. Derek shoved the door open, grabbed his coat, and stormed out. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m a person too. You want a divorce? Fine. Let’s divorce.” He couldn’t even look at me. Didn’t notice the blood pooling on the floor. The contractions at five months hit hard. I collapsed, barely managing to call 91
The tears wouldn’t stop. I never imagined we’d end up here. Hating each other. I remembered him when we were young. That confident smile. All our friends watching as he carried me to the wedding car. He promised forever. We kissed in that church like we meant it. But promises mean nothing. The paramedics lifted me onto the stretcher. They stared at all the blood. The EMT examined me, her face grim. “I’m sorry, but you’re losing a lot of blood. The baby… you need to prepare yourself.” The tears kept coming. My body screamed in pain, but my heart hurt worse. I remembered how excited I was when I first found out about the baby. I bought all those books. Did all that research. Tried so hard to be a good mom. But… I’m sorry. I have to choose myself first. I went through all the pain of labor anyway. Drenched in sweat. Lying there like a corpse while they delivered my dead baby. I cremated my child alone. The ashes were so small. Too small to even gather properly. Like he knew. Like he was helping me make the hardest choice of my life. I found him a beautiful place to rest. Derek didn’t call once during any of this. Even after the hospital contacted him following protocol, he chose to disappear. Maybe he was that angry. But what about me? All I had was my OCD. One single way to process the pain. Otherwise, I wanted to disappear too. So dirty… Why did you do this to me? After burying my baby, I went straight to a law firm. Asked for divorce papers. When I got back to the hospital for my follow-up, my parents,Richard and Helen called. 2 They didn’t ask if I was okay. They immediately defended Derek. “Honey, why are you fighting again? Marriage takes compromise. You can’t be so stubborn. Stop throwing around the word ‘divorce.’ It looks bad.” I was exhausted. No energy left to argue. I didn’t understand their obsession with keeping a dying marriage on life support. First they used the baby to guilt me. Now what excuse did they have? So I said it calmly. “I miscarried. The baby’s gone.” Long silence. Then they hung up. That afternoon, Derek’s parents,Thomas and Patricia showed up first since they lived closer. They stared at my flat stomach with disappointment, promising they’d talk sense into Derek. “That little punk. How could he take such poor care of you? And where the hell is he?” “Clara, don’t worry. We’ll teach that boy a lesson. We won’t let him back in the house until you’ve calmed down.” Same old script. Acting like they’re on my side while covering for their son. Like he could do anything and be forgiven. A wave of exhaustion washed over me. I wasn’t angry anymore. I just didn’t love him. Didn’t want anything to do with him. My voice came out cold and firm. “I want a divorce.” Their faces changed instantly. “Clara, don’t think like that. You two just need to work things out. If Derek messed up, we’ll make him change.” Patricia muttered under her breath. “Women can be too dramatic sometimes.” Dramatic? I grabbed my hospital gown, my voice ice-cold. “I’m getting divorced no matter what you say. Derek already agreed. If you have questions, ask him.” They didn’t believe me. Called Derek right there. Derek was still pissed. When he heard what I said, he ran with it. “Yeah, fine. Let’s divorce. I can’t take it anymore. You know how miserable my life is? I cheated, okay? But I changed. I fired the secretary. What more do you want?” “Should I die and go back in time to not cheat? I told you—I was drunk. Didn’t realize what I was doing. It happened. We need to move forward.” He hung up before they could tell him about the miscarriage. Just brushed past all my pain like it was nothing. Didn’t he think there’d be consequences when he was screwing her? Cheaters are trash. And he had the audacity to act like the victim? Five months. From early pregnancy until now. The hormone swings amplified everything. I couldn’t take medication for my depression because of the baby. He slept soundly while I cried between bouts of vomiting. Back pain. Swelling. Hair falling out in clumps. I was a balloon filled with darkness, wanting to die every single moment. Everyone took away my medication. For the baby. But what about me? I’m a person too. Who thought about me? What gave him the right to complain about suffering? About humiliation? About being the victim? My parents arrived next. Just like when they pressured me to get married, now they pressured me to stay married. “Listen to us. No divorce. Your father and I would never hurt you.” My successful son-in-law made her look good. Great job. High income. Her friends were so impressed. But I didn’t want it anymore. Looking at her face, I grabbed a cup and smashed it. “Enough! From now on, I’m responsible for my own life.” 3 When my parents realized they couldn’t control me, they gave me the silent treatment. Said if I divorced, they’d disown me. I ignored them. Once I felt better, I took the divorce papers to Derek’s office myself. As I walked toward his office, a familiar figure slipped inside ahead of me. That perfume. I froze. Miranda. Derek’s secretary. The one he supposedly fired. My heart clenched painfully. Another lie. Endless betrayals and lies. This was his idea of admitting fault and changing. I heard happy voices inside. They went silent the moment I opened the door. Miranda’s hand rested casually on Derek’s shoulder. Way too close for any professional relationship. Derek looked panicked, but he still pulled Miranda behind him protectively. “Clara, let me explain. It’s not what you think.” He expected me to act like before. To cry hysterically. To demand he choose. To make him cut contact. To make him swear he’d never do it again. To force him back to our marriage. To make a scene in front of everyone. But I was done with that. I felt stupid for ever acting that way. Cheating happens zero times or infinite times. There’s no in-between. I handed him the papers. “Sign these. Once you do, it’s final. Divorce papers. You already agreed.” Derek finally noticed my stomach. Once obviously swollen. Now flat. He stumbled backward. “Clara… the baby…” He thought his parents were exaggerating to make him come crawling back. That’s why he kept avoiding the hospital. He wanted to teach me a lesson. Wanted me to apologize. But seeing it with his own eyes, he couldn’t form words. “Clara, I’m sorry. I… I didn’t think you actually miscarried. I was so angry.” Miranda’s eyes turned red. She looked pitiful. “Clara, please don’t misunderstand. This is all my fault. Without this job, I can’t survive. I know I was wrong. There’s nothing between Derek and me anymore, I swear.” “That night was an accident. Now I have the lowest position in the company. Please, I’m begging you. Let me live.” She looked more and more pathetic. Like she might drop to her knees. A shelf behind her started to fall. Derek immediately stepped in front of me. But when he heard Miranda cry out, he pivoted and pulled her into his arms. He checked her frantically. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” I dodged out of the way. The bookshelf grazed my shoulder as it crashed down. Dust filled my mouth. My eyes burned. Instinct doesn’t lie. I never stood a chance. Derek never let her go. I looked down. A book had fallen open, revealing a used condom inside. The visceral disgust triggered my OCD hard. My stomach churned violently. I bent over, dry heaving helplessly. Only then did Derek remember I existed. He rushed over. “Clara, are you alright?” I screamed and shoved him away hard. “Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” No matter how strong I tried to be, the tears still came. So dirty. Everything was so dirty. I’d suffered so much, but no one stood up for me. No one spoke for me. Everyone told me to be understanding. To move forward. I ran to the bathroom and threw up until I couldn’t anymore. 4 I felt so awful I went back to the hospital. As I was about to leave, something happened at the entrance. My parents were there. They grabbed Miranda and slapped her hard. “You homewrecking slut! Bullying my daughter? How shameless are you, going after a married man?” People gathered around, all cursing at her. “Disgusting. And she looks so innocent too.” Turns out Derek had brought Miranda to the hospital for a tiny scratch on her foot. He didn’t expect to run into my parents. Miranda’s face went pale. Tears filled her eyes. Then she ran toward the roof. Eyes brimming with tears, red handprint on her face making her look fragile. Derek came rushing back from the pharmacy. He didn’t see anyone else. Not me. Just Miranda. He kept calling for her not to do anything stupid, just like he used to comfort me. “Miranda, I’m on your side. Don’t do anything rash. I’m here. I can fix anything.” Miranda sobbed about her feelings, looking broken and pitiful. “Derek, I’m sorry. I really do have feelings for you. I can’t control them. But I’ve kept them buried inside.” “I feel so ashamed. Don’t stop me. I’m sorry for ruining your marriage. I just hope Clara stops being mad at you.” My parents scoffed. “A mistress doesn’t get to threaten suicide.” For the first time ever, Derek disrespected my parents. He shouted at them. “Stop talking! You want to drive her to kill herself?” Derek comforted Miranda, promising her anything. Miranda bit her lip, staying quiet, but looked fearfully at my parents. To make Miranda happy, Derek turned on my parents. He told his assistant to destroy my parents’ company immediately. They were in a vulnerable transition period. Their cash flow was heavily tied to Derek’s company. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I rushed forward to stop him. “That’s my parents’ life’s work! Derek, have some humanity! They treated you like their own son!” Derek pushed me aside without hesitation. “Clara, stay out of this. Nothing matters more than someone’s life. If the company fails, I can rebuild it. Besides, Miranda is my employee. I can’t be that heartless to my staff.” I grabbed his collar and slapped him. “Derek, don’t be so full of yourself. You know what this will do to my parents. I’m telling you—no. We’re getting divorced.” Derek hesitated. “Clara, that’s not what I meant.” Thomas and Patricia arrived and tried to intervene. “Derek, don’t do this. We’re all family. You can’t destroy these relationships.” Miranda took another step toward the ledge. The wind made her sway, like she might fall. Derek didn’t hesitate anymore. “I need to calm Miranda down first. I’ll handle the rest.” My parents’ company immediately ran out of operating funds. Bankruptcy. Richard couldn’t take it. Heart attack. Collapsed. Helen broke down crying, mourning all they’d sacrificed. “I can’t believe I let you marry such a bastard!” I scrambled to get them to the hospital. I bit my lip so hard it bled. I yanked off the jade bracelet Derek gave me and smashed it to pieces. Derek held Miranda’s hand and slowly led her away from the edge. Ignoring everyone watching, he pulled her into his arms, relief written all over his face. I stood there coldly watching. Then called my lawyer. “Modify the agreement. I want Derek to leave with nothing.”
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