On the day my boyfriend Samuel Whitman got back together with his first love Carolyn Smith, I boarded a plane to New York. He told her, “I was never serious about Ellie. I won’t have any contact with her from now on. I’ll stay by your side only.” His friends were all worried I would cause a scene. But what they didn’t know was that this time, I wouldn’t be causing any trouble. Before going to New York, I had promised my mentor Felix Hastings to join a medical research program. In two weeks, I would no longer be able to contact the outside world, as I would be conducting secret research for ten years. From then on, Samuel and I would have nothing to do with each other. ***** This was my ninety-ninth time proposing to Samuel. I hoped he would marry me. After I finished my confession, the grand banquet hall fell dead silent, no one saying a word. After a long while, Samuel slowly walked up to me, his expression cold. “Did you ever think about how embarrassing this would be for me? Today, I was just hanging out with friends. Now everyone is making fun of us.” Carolyn walked to his side and held his hand. “Ellie just wanted to give you a surprise. Don’t be angry with her.” Someone mocked, “Everyone knows today’s party is a welcome celebration Samuel organized for Carolyn. But Ellie had to steal the spotlight. She deserves to be rejected.” Afterward, everyone covered their mouths, snickering and whispering. I stood there holding my bouquet, feeling humiliated, yet unwilling to move an inch. I stared intently at Samuel, hoping he would say something else. But his disgust toward me only became more obvious. “Leave now! How much longer do you want to embarrass yourself?” I couldn’t help saying, “You said that if I confessed ninety-nine times, you would accept my proposal.” I hadn’t planned to come tonight, but Samuel had begged me yesterday to join them, saying that if I made a proper confession this time, he would accept my proposal. For this, I had pulled several all-nighters to finish the research tasks Felix had assigned me just to free up tonight. I even rushed the flowers to bloom early. But Samuel didn’t care. “That was just drunk talk. I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to take it seriously.” My heart skipped a beat. Fighting back my unease, I pressed on: “But when that guy confessed to me back then, you were clearly jealous.” Samuel looked coldly at me and sneered, “You know I need a trophy. You’re my dog. If you went with someone else, people would just laugh at me.” “What about this bracelet? I had a high fever that time. No matter which doctor I saw, nothing helped. You worked hard to make this bracelet for me, and I only woke up after you put it on me.” Samuel glanced at my wrist and scoffed, “I just bought it on a whim. You were due to wake up that day anyway. And I never said that—you did. For such a good deed, of course I took the credit.” I clenched my fists tightly, tears welling up in my eyes. “Samuel, in all these years, you’ve only had one ex-girlfriend, and I’m your second girlfriend. You two were only together for a month. But as soon as I found out about your relationship, you broke up immediately. I can’t believe that after all the years we’ve been together, you have no feelings for me at all.” “I don’t. I never wanted to be in a relationship in the first place. I only agreed to be with you because I said it casually.” Samuel raised his hand holding Carolyn’s. “But now, I’m very clear about what I want. I love Carolyn. I will spend the rest of my life with her.” She paused for a moment, then lowered her head with a slight smile. Samuel didn’t look at me again, instead turning away with her hand in his. Then, at his command, several security guards jogged over. Two of them grabbed me by the arms and forced me toward the exit. The more I struggled, the harder they gripped. “Ms. Collins, these are Mr. Whitman’s orders. Please cooperate.” Suddenly, a burst of jeering erupted behind me. I whipped my head around to see Samuel and Carolyn locked in a tight embrace. As I tried to get a better look, the security guards forcibly turned me away. “Don’t look at what you shouldn’t see!” In that moment, I remembered the scene when that boy confessed to me years ago. Samuel had also tyrannically had people take that boy away, not allowing him to look at me for another second. We had also embraced tightly like that, making me believe I was the happiest person in the world. It turns out it was all just my illusion.
After being thrown out, I didn’t go back to confront Samuel. I rushed back to school that night to work on my research paper, pulling myself away from my grief and immersing myself in academics. When Samuel’s parents, Charlie Whitman and Layla Whitman, messaged me asking where Samuel had gone all night, I simply said I didn’t know. I quickly regained my composure. One day, after finishing my work at school, I happened to run into Carolyn. She was leaning against the doorway waiting, looking up at me. “Ellie, Samuel and I are going out for dinner tonight. Would you like to join us?” I ignored her, but she reached out to stop me. “I’m begging you. Please let Samuel go, will you?” I was confused, grabbing her hand and pushing it away. “It’s none of my business. If you like him, go after him.” I had only pushed her lightly, but unexpectedly, Carolyn fell to the ground, tears welling in her eyes. “I know you’ve liked Samuel for many Christmases, but in love, who comes first doesn’t matter. “You just can’t accept the fact that he wants to be with me and break up with you. “But you shouldn’t hit me in public.” I became angry, raising my voice. “Carolyn, stop slandering me! “You’re the one who—” “Ellie!” Samuel’s furious voice grew closer. He shoved me away. “What are you doing?” I stumbled and collapsed to the ground. A needle from the roadside pierced straight through my ankle, causing so much pain I couldn’t stand up. I could only stare at him intently. “Have you lost your mind? “She fell down on her own!” Carolyn stood up with Samuel’s support, shaking her head. “Yes, it was my carelessness…” Samuel clearly didn’t believe her. “I’m not blind. If you didn’t push her, she wouldn’t just sit on the ground for no reason. “Ellie, I never thought you could be so vicious.” He looked at me angrily. Carolyn said softly, “Don’t be angry. Please don’t be angry. “I don’t want your relationship to deteriorate because of me. What if your parents blame me? “It wouldn’t be good if they said I stole you from her.” Samuel held her hand tightly, comforting her and growing increasingly sympathetic toward her. “My parents aren’t stupid. They can tell the difference between good people and bad people. “Ellie, I’ve told you, Carolyn is the person I want to spend my life with.” Then, he walked over and slapped me. “This slap is me punishing you on Carolyn’s behalf. “In the future, I hope you can be more sensible and stop causing trouble.” My head tilted to one side, my mind buzzing. Blood was still flowing from my ankle. The double pain left me somewhat numb. “This isn’t what happened… “Samuel, you really don’t believe me?” Samuel scoffed coldly, “You’ve always been a troublemaker. I won’t believe you. “This time, I only slapped you. Next time, my revenge will be worse.” He threatened me subtly. I struggled to my feet, head hanging low. “Then I really thank you both for your generosity.” Samuel frowned slightly. “You should be more sincere.” Fighting back tears, I bent over and shouted, “I’m sorry!” Carolyn waved her hands repeatedly. “It’s really okay. Don’t be like this.” She reached out to help me, but Samuel stopped her. “You’d better stay away from people like her, so you don’t pick up her bad temper.” He took Carolyn’s hand and they left in his car. The exhaust fumes blew right at me, covering me in dust. I stood alone, stunned for a long time, as if I had forgotten the pain. The last bit of love I had for Samuel was buried in that moment, turned to ashes, and then completely disappeared.
That night, when I returned home, the military family housing area was bustling with activity. I saw them gathered around a bonfire, with Samuel and Carolyn in the center being teased. My peers all gave me meaningful glances. Someone asked, “Ellie, want to join us?” I knew they just wanted to see me publicly humiliated by Samuel again like the other day. But that was the old me. This time, I ignored them and went straight home, closing the door behind me and shutting out all the commotion. [Mr. Hastings, I’ve agreed to join the medical research program.] Both Samuel and I are from military families, and my father was Charlie’s most reliable subordinate. Because of this, I grew up learning to protect him like my father did. Unfortunately, during a mission a few Christmases ago, my father contracted a rare disease while protecting Charlie. There was no cure, and he eventually passed away. That’s why I chose medicine in college without hesitation. As it happened, Felix was an old friend of my father’s whom he hadn’t contacted for many Christmases. After learning from me that my father had already sacrificed his life, Felix vowed to mentor me well. So whenever there was an opportunity, he would tell me about it. Previously, I didn’t dare accept because I loved Samuel. But now, I no longer love him. Samuel doesn’t need me. If we continue to be entangled, it would only create more and more jokes at our expense. Perhaps this research opportunity is my chance to leave completely and start a new life. Felix quickly replied: [That’s great. You finally responded to me!] [Tonight is actually the deadline. I was just about to shamelessly try to buy you some more time.] Looking at his message, I laughed out loud, but tears gradually welled up in my eyes. Samuel and I had lived together for twenty-four Christmases and been entangled for nine. Now, after just four days, I could let him go without hesitation. When Samuel and Carolyn announced they were back together, I was preparing to pack my bags for New York. Felix was still reminding me to bring more clothes. After all, the temperature difference between north and south is significant, and it’s colder up north. When I finished packing and checked my phone, I found that my usually quiet social media page had many new messages about Samuel. I ignored them. Just then, my mom came to my room to call me. “Honey, Charlie and Layla invited us to dinner. They said they have something important to announce.” I was surprised. If that was the case, I might as well leave after dinner. When we arrived, I discovered that besides Charlie and Layla, there was another couple I didn’t recognize. They were chatting and laughing. When they saw my mom and me, they smiled and gestured for us to sit down. When Samuel and Carolyn appeared hand in hand, the couple quickly waved to them. “Carolyn, you’re finally here!” Seeing this, my mom froze on the spot. She looked questioningly at Charlie and Layla. Noticing our gloomy expressions, Samuel immediately scolded, “Ellie, you deliberately showed up, didn’t you? You knew from them that I was meeting our parents with Carolyn today to announce our marriage, so you came to cause trouble, right?” I shrugged, looking completely calm. “I don’t know anything about that. I’m just here with my mom for dinner.” Layla also stepped in to smooth things over. “That’s right. I invited them. Samuel, don’t be unreasonable.” As Samuel was about to lose his temper, Carolyn put her arm around his shoulder to calm him. “Today was indeed our miscommunication. It’s okay. Samuel told me before that Ellie is his family. Since they’re family, she should know that I’m going to marry Samuel.” My mom’s face darkened completely. “Samuel, how can you be so cruel to my daughter?” The next second, Carolyn’s parents, who were about to applaud, froze in place. Her mother shouted, “What do you mean by that? Carolyn told me your daughter has been clinging to Samuel.” My mom stood up angrily. “You have no right to speak here.”
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