The day I received my study abroad permit, my husband, Colonel Alex Grant, was diagnosed with cancer. He begged me to give up my spot so he could live. “Leila,” he said, “only Molly’s father can cure my illness. His only condition is that Molly takes your place to study abroad. I’m not afraid of death, but without me, how will you and Freya survive?” Looking at Alex’s bloodshot eyes, I abandoned my studies and devoted myself to caring for him and our daughter. Yet three Christmases later, his beloved Molly Curtis returned from her studies abroad, and Alex embraced her with a kiss. “Leila is such a fool,” he said. “I’ve been faking my illness for three Christmases, and she never caught on. Thankfully she earned enough money so you didn’t have to work while studying.” Our daughter Freya Grant happily jumped into her arms, calling her “Mom.” I was completely shocked, and in my daze, I crashed into an oncoming truck. When I opened my eyes again, I had been reborn to Christmas 1980, the day I received my study abroad permit. Just after getting the permit, my husband Alex hugged me and began to cry. “Leila, the doctors say I have cancer and don’t have long to live. How will you and Freya manage?” He looked utterly vulnerable. “I’m not afraid to die, but I’m worried about you and Freya!” Suppressing my disgust, I patted his back to comfort him. “Don’t worry, I’ll definitely take good care of Freya.” Alex froze. “Why aren’t you upset at all?” I deliberately put on a sad face and sighed, “What good would being upset do? This is fate. I got the opportunity to study abroad, but you’re going to die. How unfortunate.” Alex’s expression turned awkward. “Actually, there is a way to cure my illness. Molly’s father is an expert in this field. He can cure me. But his only condition is that Molly takes your place to study abroad.” He finally revealed his true purpose. In my previous life, he hadn’t been so quick to tell me all this because as soon as I heard about his cancer diagnosis, I panicked and immediately borrowed money for his treatment, begging others to find doctors to save him. As a result, I fell into their carefully crafted web of lies. Alex made me surrender my study permit so his first love, Molly, could take my place abroad. To save him, I had to give up my dream of studying overseas and devoted my heart and soul to our family. From that day on, I lost everything. Because of his illness, I borrowed a large sum of money from friends and family. For the next three Christmases, I worked multiple jobs to pay off the debt. But in the 80s, money wasn’t easy to come by. I had to work tirelessly at three factories every day. In reality, that money became Molly’s tuition for studying abroad and spending money for their family’s entertainment. Only before my death did I discover how completely I had been fooled. After being reborn, I would never let these people control me again. My six-year-old daughter Freya ran over and hugged Alex. “Daddy, I want Molly to be my mom. Can we go out with mom? She said she’d buy me candy!” Alex’s expression changed instantly. He quickly said, “Don’t talk nonsense! Molly is not your mother.” He glanced at me cautiously. “Leila, don’t overthink it. Molly’s just been so good to her that she misspoke. Freya doesn’t have many relatives, and Molly likes her. That’s a good thing.” I laughed inwardly. Without Alex’s encouragement behind my back, how could Freya have become so close to Molly? So he had been secretly letting Freya call Molly “mom” all along. But none of it mattered anymore. Alex and Freya both had someone they preferred, which was certainly for the best. Freya said dejectedly, “But Daddy, you told me to call her mom.” “Shut up!” Alex snapped. Freya jumped in fright, then ran away crying. In the past, I would have chased after her to comfort her, telling her Alex didn’t mean to yell and that he loved her. But now, I remained unmoved, coldly watching as she tripped over the doorstep and cried even louder. I would not keep an ungrateful child.
Three days later, I’ll be heading to California with my study permit, boarding a flight to my dream school. I ignored both of them and took all the necessary documents to my supervisor Caleb’s office to submit the divorce paperwork. Alex’s special status meant that a normal divorce procedure wouldn’t work. I wrote several pages of applications, documenting Alex and Molly’s inappropriate relationship in meticulous detail. Caleb had long noticed their unusual relationship and just sighed. “Ms. Welch, your studies abroad are also for work purposes. Don’t worry, we’ll definitely approve your divorce.” When I returned home to pack my things after completing the paperwork, Alex came back with Freya. Freya had stopped crying and was carrying a pretty transparent bag filled with various candies. I remembered Molly had bought her these candies several times before. She deliberately criticized me in front of Freya, “Leila, you’re too strict with Freya. It’s normal for children to like candy. Having a few occasionally won’t hurt.” At the time, I didn’t want to create an awkward situation, so I said nothing in front of Molly. After she left, I took away all the candy and advised Freya to eat less sweets to prevent cavities. But Molly had influenced her too deeply, and she became increasingly resistant to my restrictions. When Freya saw me, she seemed to remember all the candy I had confiscated and quickly hid the bag behind her back. I frowned instinctively. “You already have so many bad teeth. Why are you still eating so much candy?” Alex said, “Freya was crying earlier, so we bought some candy to cheer her up.” I regretted my words as soon as they left my mouth. No wonder Freya wasn’t close to me since she was little. Alex always compromised. Moreover, Molly indulged her completely. Children can’t distinguish right from wrong, so naturally they think whoever spoils them is the good person. Sure enough, after meeting my eyes, Freya boldly shouted, “You’re a bad mom! Don’t try to take my candy! Molly is better! Molly is my real mom! I hate you!” People say children’s words are childish and funny, but sometimes a child’s words can be the most hurtful. I calmly said, “Then you can go to Molly from now on. I’m going abroad, and no one will take care of you. Let Molly be your mother from now on.” Freya pouted and threw herself into Alex’s arms, crying loudly. “Daddy, she’s a bad mom! She doesn’t want me anymore!” “Leila, stop talking nonsense!” Alex frowned and scolded me angrily. “Freya is only six years old. She doesn’t understand anything! How can you say such harsh things to her?” Looking coldly at their deep affection, I suddenly pictured my past life where Alex held Freya in one arm and embraced Molly with the other. That was truly a harmonious family of three. I sneered, “Without your indulgence, how could Freya possibly be so dependent on Molly? Alex, isn’t this what you’ve been hoping for? Don’t you want Molly to replace me as Freya’s mother and your wife?” Alex instantly became furious and shouted, “Do you have to fight with me over something so trivial? Do you have to be so harsh to a six-year-old child? “And you absolutely must study abroad, right? You don’t care at all that I might have a terminal illness, do you? “Yes, now that you have great prospects, you want to abandon me, our daughter, and this family, is that it? “Leila, you’re so selfish!” Watching him yell and judge me, trying to make me feel guilty, I found it ridiculous. “Alex, do you really have a terminal illness?” I asked. Alex opened and closed his mouth, not answering immediately. I sneered, “Why don’t we go to California together and get a re-examination at a major hospital to see if you really have a terminal illness?”
Alex was clearly flustered, but the composure he’d developed over the years quickly helped him regain his calm. “Leila, you don’t believe what I’m saying? I’m so disappointed in you!” I couldn’t tell if he was guilty or genuinely angry as he picked up Freya and left the room. I had no interest in dealing with them and continued packing my things. During our five-year marriage, I had accumulated many items, most of which were gifts from Alex, including letters he wrote before we married, overflowing with his admiration and affection for me. I kept these letters in a candy box. Now as I flipped through them one by one, looking at his familiar handwriting and the declarations of love I had memorized long ago, I still felt heartbroken. There was also a pair of dolls he brought back for me from his business trip to California, one male and one female, both incredibly cute. That night, he kissed me for the first time and promised in my ear, “Leila, I’ll love you for a lifetime, no, for lifetimes to come, I will always love you.” Yet in just five short years, his promises had already turned to nothing. His love had an expiration date of barely a thousand days. Alex used to be so good to me. When we were dating, he often took me cycling along small paths. The wind would blow his white shirt until it billowed out, the very picture of youthful freedom. When I was sick and had no appetite, he would specially go to the largest candy store in California to buy me sweets. He’d return after dark, yet still come to my doorstep that same night, offering those sweet candies to me. But all his kindness toward me completely vanished after Molly appeared. Molly was beautiful and came from a good family. A country girl like me couldn’t compare to her. Alex no longer prioritized me, no longer saw me as his only one, and no longer loved only me. These past few days, I had been slowly sorting through my belongings, packing everything related to him into a large box, which I then dragged out to the yard and threw directly into the garbage dump. On my way back, I passed a low flower wall and suddenly overheard Alex and Molly’s conversation. Molly’s voice was tearful: “Alex, can’t Leila really give up her spot for me? She doesn’t even speak German. What could she possibly do abroad? Why won’t she give up her place? Besides, doesn’t she care about your health at all? Are you that unimportant to her?” She was clearly trying to drive a wedge between us, but Alex couldn’t hear it at all. He embraced the sobbing Molly, tenderly stroking her head to comfort her: “Molly, don’t worry, I’ll figure out the study abroad situation. Leila always listens to me; she won’t go against my wishes.” Molly looked up at him with tear-filled eyes: “Really?” Alex nodded solemnly. Immediately, Molly’s eyes lit up. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck and kissed him on the cheek: “Alex, you’re so good to me!” Alex smiled somewhat shyly. I took a deep breath, no longer interested in watching the two of them, and walked away. That night, as I lay in bed with the lights off, nearly asleep, Alex slipped under the covers. He was shirtless as he embraced me from behind, his voice husky in my ear: “Leila, are you asleep? We haven’t made love in a long time. Tonight…”
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