During the earthquake, I chose not to call for help. I let Carson save his first love instead. In this life, I wished them well and married a gentle policeman. But Carson cornered me like a madman. “You were reborn too, weren’t you?” He yanked my collar, saw the marks on my neck, and his gaze turned feral. “Divorce him. I’ll marry you.” I smiled, showing him my wedding ring. “You’re too late, Mr. Sterling.” Then he crashed into my car. Then he grabbed my ankle, lying in a pool of blood. “Suzy, either come back to me. Or I die again and go back to when you loved me most.” Susanna’s POV Carson and I had been married for five years. From campus sweethearts to married couple-everyone said he was crazy about me. Only I knew that Carson had never forgotten my roommate, Noelle White. Years ago, during that earthquake, Carson heard my cry for help first. He chose to save me. Noelle bled out and died. That choice became a thorn lodged between us forever. I could only accept Carson keeping Noelle’s belongings, accept that she held a permanent place in his heart. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and asked for a divorce. But on the way to finalize it, we got into a car accident. In that moment between life and death, Carson gave me the only chance of survival. Fighting through the pain, he pushed me out of the car. In that moment, I suddenly let it all go. So when I was reborn back to that earthquake, I suppressed my cries for help and watched Carson run toward Noelle’s direction instead. This time, I gave Carson what he’d always wanted. And just like that, Carson and I were even. No more ties between us. The rain seemed lighter now, changing from heavy drumming to a gentle patter. I stood under the convenience store awning holding flowers, surrounded by people seeking shelter. Nearby, some young women huddled together chatting. I poked my head out to check the sky. Looked like the rain would continue for a while. The leg that got crushed in the earthquake six months ago had lingering problems. It ached badly now, leaving me restless and irritable. Six months had passed since my rebirth, and I hadn’t seen Carson once in all that time. In my previous life, I was the one who asked for divorce. We’d been married ten years. To outsiders, Carson had it all-good family background, handsome looks, completely devoted to me, never fooling around with other women. But only I knew that at home, Carson never showed me affection. Even our marital duties felt like checking off a task. We only got married because our families pushed us together. Carson’s heart belonged entirely to Noelle. Since Noelle was dead, he didn’t care who his wife was. He even kept a room in our house covered wall-to-wall with Noelle’s photos. I cried about it. I fought about it. But all I got back was Carson saying, “You owe her this.” But I never could have imagined that when the car accident came, Carson would be the one to push me out of the car. I knelt outside the wreckage, trying to pull Carson out, but he was trapped too tightly. The car was about to explode. Carson fought through the pain and pried my hands away. “This time I don’t owe you anything, Susanna.” In that final moment, he disappeared in a sea of flames. And I was reborn back to that earthquake. I was pinned under a beam, my left leg pierced through by rebar, barely breathing. Memories from my past and present lives tangled chaotically, making my head throb. But the moment I saw young Carson stumbling toward me, I instinctively clamped my hand over my mouth. As long as I stayed silent this time, Carson would save Noelle instead. He wouldn’t be pressured by our families into marrying me because he saved my life. I endured the searing pain in my leg and watched Carson run toward Noelle’s location without looking back. Only then did I relax. I watched his figure disappear from view, and my consciousness faded. I woke up in the hospital. My left leg had been crushed for too long and was badly damaged. The doctor said I’d need extensive recovery. So I spent nearly two months in that hospital bed. On the day I was discharged, an old classmate who came to visit mentioned Carson in passing. Carson had successfully saved Noelle back then. He got to her in time-she wasn’t seriously hurt. Apparently Carson even confessed at Noelle’s bedside, and now they were officially together. You could see couple photos on their social media. My classmate went on and on, though their tone was a bit disapproving. These people all knew that Carson had been chasing me relentlessly since high school, following me around like a puppy every day. Everyone practically assumed we’d end up together. I lowered my head and slowly folded a hospital receipt in my hands. Carson must have been reborn too. This time, he made a completely different choice without hesitation, running to the person he truly wanted to save. That was good. I didn’t want anything to do with Carson anymore anyway. Starting over, we could just return to our original paths.
Susanna’s POV Lost in thought, two short honks interrupted me. Startled, I looked up to see a black Maybach stopped by the curb. The passenger window rolled down, revealing Carson’s expressionless profile. His gaze faced forward-he wasn’t looking at me. Noelle leaned over from the driver’s seat, waving enthusiastically with a bright voice. “Is that you, Suzy? What a coincidence! Hard to get a cab in this rain, right? Get in, we’ll drive you home!” I instinctively wanted to shake my head and refuse. My lips had barely moved when Carson’s cold, hard voice cut me off. “Get in. Don’t waste time-Noelle has reservations at that French restaurant soon.” His tone carried impatient urgency. I froze at this sudden scolding. Noelle beside him shrugged and waved at me, gesturing for me to get in. I pressed my lips together, glanced at my aching leg, and finally pulled open the door and slid into the back seat. The car’s interior was spacious, the heater turned up high, instantly dispelling the damp cold outside. I huddled in the window seat with my bouquet of lilies, head down, looking at the pure white petals. Glancing up unconsciously, I caught Carson’s eyes in the rearview mirror. I flinched and looked away, staring straight ahead. After that brief moment of eye contact, Carson also looked away, focusing on the traffic ahead. The car merged smoothly into traffic. Carson drove in silence. Aside from the occasional turn signal, the only sound in the car was Noelle’s cheerful voice. She seemed in high spirits, jumping from topic to topic-how amazing the desserts would be at the restaurant, to an art exhibition next week, to suddenly wanting new car decorations. I only dared to nod slightly when she paused and her gaze seemed to sweep toward me, as acknowledgment. My reactions were always half a beat slow. Noelle’s rapid-fire topic changes often left me unsure how to respond. Usually at times like this, Noelle would naturally turn to Carson instead, or just start humming to herself. But today, Noelle’s voice suddenly stopped. That brief silence felt oddly abrupt in the warm car. I was staring absently out the window when I heard Noelle’s voice turn toward me. “Suzy, are you still mad at me?” Called out by name, I snapped back to attention and instinctively looked up. I met Noelle’s hurt gaze as she half-turned from the passenger seat. She lowered her head, long lashes drooping, eyes quickly reddening, voice breaking into tears. “Suzy, I know… I know you must hate me.” “Even though you were the one who introduced us back then. Of course, I’m grateful for that now.” “But, but you can’t help who you fall for.” “Carson likes me now, and I don’t want to lose you as a friend. Can’t you stop being angry and just let us be together?” I opened my mouth, the words “I’m not upset” still lodged in my throat, when Carson suddenly braked and pulled to the curb. He unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned over, and wiped Noelle’s tears with his fingertips, impossibly gentle. The tenderness in his eyes nearly spilled over. “Don’t cry, Noelle.” Something lightly struck my chest, leaving a dull ache. In five years of marriage, Carson had never looked at me that way. I was always the understanding wife who didn’t need comforting. The bitterness in my heart flashed and passed. I turned to look at Noelle, tears streaming down her face. Her sudden accusation left me stunned, my mind struggling to catch up. “I… I’m not upset…” The words barely left my mouth when a sharp click echoed through the car. The doors unlocked. Carson held Noelle close, cast me a cold look, his voice ice-cold. “Get out.” Noelle sobbed, leaning against Carson’s side while saying to me. “Suzy, I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well right now. Can you just go home by yourself?” Noelle was still Noelle-the princess who needed the whole world to revolve around her moods. I didn’t say another word. I reached for the door handle, grabbed my slightly crushed bouquet of lilies, and got out. The cold wind immediately wrapped around me, dispersing the car’s abundant warmth. I didn’t look back at the black car stopped behind me.
Susanna’s POV I walked to the roadside just as an empty taxi drove past. I flagged it down and gave my address. As the car drove smoothly away, I buried my face in the damp bouquet of lilies and took a deep breath. The fragrance cleared away the lingering stuffiness in my chest. I touched the petals and muttered quietly. “Those two lunatics… if my husband knew what happened today…” The thought came naturally. I paused slightly, then the corners of my mouth curved up involuntarily, a faint smile appearing in my eyes. Yes, I was already married. To Holden Hayes, someone my parents introduced me to. Surprisingly, we hit it off right from our first meeting. I had a mild, calm personality. Holden leaned toward the gentle type. He came from a police background but had an unexpectedly tender, thoughtful nature. With him, I felt relaxed. And just like that, we rushed into marriage. Holden had asked me to pick up the flowers today. He said it was to celebrate that my leg was almost fully healed. He was originally supposed to have the day off and drive me home. But just as he was about to leave, the police station called with an emergency. A case he was handling had a development, and he had to rush back immediately. So I picked up the flowers myself, not expecting to run into this downpour the moment I stepped outside. I had to scramble for shelter under the convenience store awning, where I happened to run into Carson and Noelle. The taxi entered the familiar neighborhood. I paid and got out, carrying the flowers toward the entrance. When I got home, I placed the flowers on the cabinet in the entryway, changed into slippers, and slowly walked into the bedroom. I was a bit tired. Though I’d mentally prepared myself to have no connection with Carson, today’s encounter still drained considerable energy. Plus I’d walked a short distance on the way back, and drowsiness washed over me again. I changed into pajamas and lay down, pulling the curtains closed. The room instantly dimmed, and I drifted off to sleep in a daze. Perhaps because I’d seen Carson today, those deliberately buried memories slipped uncontrollably into my dreams. I dreamed of Carson. Not the cold, distant Carson of now, but from earlier times-the Carson whose heart and eyes were full of me. From my earliest memories, Carson had followed behind me. His personality actually wasn’t warm and outgoing-he was even somewhat aloof, always maintaining a mature demeanor in front of others. Only around me would he unconsciously relax, even tugging at my sleeve and acting cute in that voice only I could hear. His family background was far better than mine. We could stick together so much thanks to our families being close. But when applying to universities, he didn’t even look at other schools. Wherever I applied, he followed. This behavior gave me the wrong idea. I’d always thought I was loved by Carson. Until shortly after starting freshman year, I brought Carson to meet my roommates. Noelle wore a newly bought dress, running down the stairs with a bright smile, waving hello in our direction. I was about to make introductions when I felt the hand that had been holding mine suddenly let go. I turned my head and saw Carson’s gaze fixed on Noelle, a dazed smile appearing on his face. At this point in the dream, I frowned uneasily against the pillow. I instinctively tried to turn over, to escape these increasingly vivid images. My body had barely moved when I felt a gentle tightness around my waist, then fell into a warm, solid embrace. Someone adjusted their arm very gently to let me rest more comfortably. A palm patted my back soothingly with careful, measured pressure, as if afraid of disturbing me. I woke from the restless sleep and opened my eyes, vision still a bit blurry. A warm breath brushed across the top of my head. I blinked, fully awake now, and tilted my head up slightly. Holden was looking down at me. Seeing me awake, the arm around me didn’t let go, just relaxed the pressure slightly. His voice was low and husky, but his tone gentle. “Leg hurting again? Having nightmares?” I smiled and moved closer on my own, lightly kissing Holden’s Adam’s apple. After stumbling so badly with Carson, I’d gradually figured out a pattern. Sometimes with relationships, you had to be a bit proactive. Holden let out a muffled grunt at my kiss, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He used his solid thigh to shift me up a bit, holding me tighter. “Nightmare?” He stroked my head, his dark brown eyes looking at me tenderly. Holden stood nearly six-three, broad-shouldered with long legs. Years of training gave him an excellent physique. But he had an overly gentle face, with warm eyes that drooped slightly at the corners, like some large canine. Steady and reliable with an indescribable honest straightforwardness underneath. His gaze made my ears burn. I reached up to cover his eyes. Holden’s lashes fluttered against my palm, tickling it with fine, dense sensations. “Mm,” I admitted honestly. “I dreamed about Carson.” Holden paused, the arm around me unconsciously tightening. “Still thinking about him?” I shook my head, cheek pressed against his warm chest, listening to the steady heartbeat inside. “Just occasional dreams.” I was telling the truth.
Susanna’s POV Those intense feelings of love and hate for Carson had gradually faded over these months. Maybe because of the rebirth, those bits and pieces of time spent with him now felt like distant memories. I had loved Carson. I had also hated Carson. I hated that he didn’t love me but married me anyway. I hated even more that he saved me, leaving me forever carrying the shackles of that debt. But as the one who was saved, I didn’t even have the standing to question him. Those years of distant marriage were Carson’s greatest revenge against me. Yet he still saved me in that car accident. Carson used his last strength to push me out of the car, choosing to stay in those flames clutching Noelle’s photo. In that moment, all my hatred suddenly dissipated. Starting over, I let him go and let myself go, only asking that we never cross paths again. Outside the window, the sky had darkened without me noticing. Distant sounds of passing cars drifted over. The bedroom had no lights on, the dimness settling in. Holden didn’t press further. He just lowered his head and nuzzled the top of my head with his chin. This gesture was so characteristic of him-like a large dog comforting a sad human, carrying intense but clumsy soothing intent. “Hungry? I’ll go make something.” I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his neck and nestling deeper into his embrace. “Hold me a bit longer.” Holden went still, just holding me, his palm patting my back on and off, like soothing a child. After a while, I suddenly remembered something and looked up. “Didn’t you have an emergency today? How did you get back so fast?” “Situation changed temporarily. Problem with the evidence chain, had to put it on hold.” Holden explained, his fingers unconsciously curling around a strand of my hair. “The team told me to come home and rest first, deal with it tomorrow.” He made it sound casual. But I knew he’d been working around the clock on that case for days, always with faint shadows under his eyes. “Should you sleep for a bit?” I looked up and asked. “Not tired. Holding you is more refreshing than sleep.” Such a straightforward statement. The heat that had just left my face started creeping back. I lightly tapped his shoulder. Holden laughed softly, his chest vibrating slightly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His clean, soapy scent filled my nose. It made me feel safe This was good. Perfect. The next morning, Holden left earlier than usual. The case he’d been working on had reached a critical point. The department was pushing hard. He lingered at the door for a long time, holding my hand, his chin hooked over my shoulder, grumbling about not wanting to go to work. It took me laughing and nudging him, telling him he’d be late, before he finally let go. He dipped his head quickly, brushed his lips against mine, then turned and headed downstairs. His footsteps gradually faded in the stairwell. I closed the door, smiling as I turned to clear the dishes from the table. Outside the kitchen window, the sky was a pale gray-blue with a few wisps of clouds hanging lazily. Water rushing, I carefully rinsed the cups, planning to hit the supermarket later to buy some of the pastries Holden loved. Just as I set the washed cup on the rack, someone knocked at the door. Three measured knocks. I dried my hands, thinking it must be Holden, probably forgot his keys or some documents. Still smiling, I walked over, gripped the door handle, and gently pulled it open. “What did you forget this time?” The words cut off abruptly. Standing outside wasn’t Holden. It was Carson. He came alone, wearing a finely tailored black cashmere sweater with matching trousers that made his skin look even paler. His hair wasn’t slicked back meticulously like yesterday-it fell softly with a few strands across his forehead. Standing in this somewhat messy hallway, he seemed out of place with an air of cool refinement. I didn’t speak, hand on the door, making no move to let him in. Carson’s gaze lingered on my face for a moment. Then he turned sideways and slipped through the narrow gap between me and the doorframe. As naturally as if he were coming home. He knew this place. Didn’t even need to look it up-just showed up. In my previous life after we married, I insisted on living here, saying this old neighborhood had character and was close to my office. He had better apartments and locations under his name, but he gave in to me. The room’s layout was mostly the same as in the previous life. Carson looked around, his gaze finally settling back on me. Someone’s door opened and closed in the hallway, bringing faint sounds of conversation. But inside, the silence seemed to stretch impossibly. Only an occasional sparrow passed by the window, making brief chirps. I looked up at Carson standing in the middle of the living room. Walked forward a few steps and sat at the dining table. Setting aside my own pitiful perspective, objectively speaking. In my previous life, Carson as a husband never shortchanged me materially and respected my basic needs. I was just too young then, too dependent on him, treating him as my only lifeline, unable to see the truth. Instead, my tears and arguments only pushed him further away. Now, stepping outside that circle, only calm remained in my heart. Meeting his gaze, I smiled, trying to seem as peaceful as usual. “Is there something you need?” Carson looked at me, his eyes darkening. He pressed his lips together, his voice controlled and measured when he spoke. “You have a boyfriend?” Such an abrupt question, even crossing boundaries. We’d gone nearly three or four months without seeing each other face-to-face, and our relationship had faded considerably. He didn’t care about any of that. He actually acted like he had the right to ask. His gaze drifted back to my face. “Susanna, even though I’m with Noelle now, you don’t have to settle for just anyone.” He paused, as if he were genuinely looking out for me, like I was some reckless child who didn’t know any better. The arrogance in Carson’s eyes nearly spilled over. “You want me to introduce you to someone? I know a few guys with decent prospects.” He waited quietly, watching for my reaction.
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