My death came on the eve of my wedding. The first to find my suicide note was the man I’d been with for eight years, the one who was about to become my husband. Ryan. He was the man in this world who loved me most. When I was eighteen, I was diagnosed with leukemia. My parents packed up and abandoned me overnight. It was Ryan who rushed from across the country, using all his savings to pay for my hospital bills. “I don’t want the treatment anymore…” “Please, just do it for me? You’re not afraid of dying, so why are you afraid to fight for your life this one time?” Ryan knelt before me, begging me to get treatment. He took meticulous care of me every day, staying by my side. For me, he worked relentlessly to earn money. “Chloe, I won’t just make sure you live. I’ll make sure you live happily.” I guess I was lucky, and unlucky, at the same time. On the suicide note I’d prepared long ago, the first words I left for him were: 【Ryan, actually, I’ve known you were cheating for a long time.】
Ryan’s hand trembled, and the old piece of paper floated to the floor with a soft breeze. “Chloe, stop messing around.” “This isn’t funny at all.” Ryan felt a surge of panic. He looked at the text message he’d received two hours ago on his phone and dialed. The light he always left on for me was still shining. But the house was silent. He couldn’t hear a sound. On the other end of the line, there was only the repeating, mechanical tone. Ryan sighed and picked up the note from the floor. 【Was the girl named Bree?】 【The new intern at your company. She’s very cute and pretty, and she has dimples when she smiles.】 【When I brought you lunch, she was the one who helped bring it inside for you.】 【Ryan, I don’t blame you.】 【I just feel useless. Why couldn’t I make our love last a little longer?】 The handwriting was light, but the words weighed heavily on Ryan’s heart. I found out Ryan was cheating by accident. Even after I died, I still blamed myself for not being afraid of Ryan getting wet that day and going out to give him an umbrella. That day, it rained heavily. “Chloe, I have some things at the office, I need to rush back for a bit.” “You go to sleep first, don’t wait up for me. Just leave a light on.” Lately, Ryan often worked late into the night. Sometimes, a call would come, and he’d leave in the middle of the night to go back to work. I didn’t understand his business matters, I just thought he worked too hard. The rain outside grew heavier. I saw the umbrella Ryan had forgotten by the door, grabbed it, and ran out after him. “Ryan!” I called Ryan’s name in the apartment building corridor, but the wind and rain were too strong; he didn’t hear me. Seeing him about to leave the corridor, I quickened my pace, trying to catch up. But the next second, an umbrella appeared over Ryan’s head. “You big dummy, why aren’t you using an umbrella?” A girl in a yellow puffer jacket, holding an umbrella, jumped into Ryan’s arms. “When you’re seeing someone you like, you naturally brave any weather.” Ryan had said something similar to me before. Back then, I was hospitalized, and each chemotherapy treatment meant a long stay. Ryan shuttled between the hospital and the office, always arriving with urgent steps. He later told me, “When you’re seeing someone you like, walking and running feel the same.” That line used to make me smile for a long time. Now, he had someone he’d brave any weather to see. The regrettable part was, it wasn’t me anymore. Ryan pulled her into his arms, his voice laced with concern. “Aren’t you cold? I told you I’d come up myself. Why did you come down and stand in the wind?” The girl nuzzled her fluffy head against Ryan’s chest. “I just wanted to see you sooner!” Ryan lowered his head and passionately kissed the girl in his arms. In the wind and rain, they embraced and kissed, right where I stood. My hand, clutching the umbrella handle, twitched. The wind and rain seeped into my heart, every single bit of it. It was too cold. Colder than all those winters during my five years of cancer treatment, a hundred times colder. 【Ryan, you two kissed for a full three minutes.】 【In those three minutes, I wondered if you were cold. The rain outside the corridor seemed to be wetting your shoulders.】 【Ryan, I thought about breaking up with you to let you pursue your true love, but I couldn’t bear to.】 【So I pretended nothing had happened.】 【Ryan, will you laugh at me for being too blinded by love? Will you blame me for not letting go?】
Ryan’s hand stopped at the places where the ink had blurred. He knew those were my tears. “Chloe… I…” Ryan’s words caught in his throat, unable to come out. He opened the second note. 【Ryan, you’re so silly! You didn’t want to spend your birthday with me, so you lied and said you had to work overtime.】 【In that picture on your Ins, half of that girl’s face was way too obvious!】 【But it’s okay, I still pretended not to see it.】 【Oh, and next time, stop putting her things in your pockets and bringing them home.】 【I’ve already washed and packed them in that box in your study. After I die, remember to give them back to her.】 【It’s best not to let her live in this house. After all, I once lived here.】 【After I die, just take your things and move into her apartment. It’s in the building next door, quite close.】 【And don’t forget to pay the utilities. I’m always the one paying your bills for that little place!】 Reading this, Ryan’s tears dropped straight onto the floor. He stumbled into the study and found the box I’d mentioned. Inside the box were a few pairs of stockings, a red lace thong, some condoms, and a few gift receipts. All belonging to that girl. Ryan’s brows furrowed slightly, his heart feeling as if something had ripped through it. It hurt so much. He thought he’d been seamless, but I had just been pretending not to know. Ryan scrolled through my bank statements, only then realizing I had been paying the bills for his and Bree’s apartment all this time. “Chloe, you idiot!” Actually, I wasn’t an idiot. I knew Ryan didn’t love me anymore; he had betrayed me. As a modern woman, I should just walk away and end things for good with him. But I couldn’t bear to. During those five years Ryan stayed by my side through cancer, pouring his heart and soul into it, fighting with all his might, I survived because of him. He was the one who loved me most, and the one I loved most. I couldn’t let go. Ryan’s phone rang, but he glanced at it and didn’t answer. He took a deep breath and pulled out the third note. Before he could even read the words, the phone rang again. “Ryan, why aren’t you here yet? I can’t sleep alone, and the light at my place is broken again.” Ryan’s face was grim, his voice laced with annoyance. “The light isn’t broken; you probably just didn’t pay the electricity bill. I’m busy right now, don’t call me.” With that, Ryan hung up. 【Ryan, did you two arrange to meet every day at midnight?】 【Every time you answer the phone, the volume leaks, and I can hear her whining to you on the other end.】 【Sigh, if it weren’t me you ran into, who would cover for you?】 【Ryan, the way you looked at her at the annual gala today, it made me so jealous!】 【I didn’t ruin her dress at the gala, but Ryan, you didn’t even believe me.】 At the annual gala earlier this year, Ryan initially didn’t want to bring me. “You’re not well, you’ll get tired if you go.” “I want to go.” Ryan was a bit unhappy, but he had no choice but to bring me. He drove to the office to pick up Bree, and she instinctively opened the front passenger door. “Chloe, I get car sick, and I’m used to the front passenger seat… Can I sit there?”
I opened my mouth, then glanced at Ryan. He just said: “You sit in the back. It’s roomier.” I knew better than to argue and just moved to the back seat. The whole way, they talked and laughed, discussing work matters, and I couldn’t get a word in. When we arrived, Ryan didn’t even wait for me. My heart ached, but I couldn’t show it. “Is that the boss’s fiancée?” “I heard the boss was penniless back then and worked hard for five years to pay for her cancer treatment!” “The boss is such a good guy!” “What good is being a good guy? He’s still with Bree…” Smack. Someone slapped the person who’d let the words slip out. I pretended not to hear, smiling and greeting them. But my heart felt as if something was clenching it, hurting so much. “Chloe, my dress zipper seems to be stuck. Can you help me pull it up?” Bree led me to a corner. In the dim light, I tried to pull up the zipper. But Bree kept moving around so much that the zipper accidentally snapped off. “Chloe! What’s wrong with you?!” “How am I supposed to face anyone like this?!” Bree’s crying and shouting drew Ryan over. He subtly glanced at me in the corner, his eyes showing anger. I didn’t dare look up, quietly defending myself. “I didn’t do it on purpose. The light was too dim, and she kept moving, so I…” “Forget it.” Ryan cut me off, took Bree’s hand, and walked away. In the dim corner, I felt like a forgotten toy, covered in a thick layer of dust. 【Ryan, you’re so annoying!】 【I’m really mad. I’m punishing you by not making you lunch for a week.】 Those damned memories flooded Ryan’s mind. He remembered his idiotic self, and angrily punched the wall in frustration. Ryan couldn’t bear to read anymore. Those notes were like a manual of his jerk-like behavior, every word tearing at his heart. He took out his phone and called me again, but there was still no answer. “Chloe, where are you?” “I’ll come pick you up. Okay?” “It’s going to rain soon, I’m so worried about you…” He sent several voice messages, but half an hour later, there was still no reply. Ryan turned and looked at the stack of letters beside him. He couldn’t resist and opened another one. The first line made him break down. 【Ryan, last month I lied and told you I was hospitalized for pneumonia. Actually, we lost our baby.】
That baby Ryan didn’t know about. A month later, the news hit his heart like a sledgehammer. “A baby… our baby?” Chloe Smith and Ryan Brown had always wanted a child, but her body was too weak, and she always lost them. Later, Ryan mostly used protection. He said he didn’t want to burden my body further. But I knew, it was because he had Bree. That day, Ryan was secretly on the patio, on a FaceTime call with Bree, explaining he couldn’t come over because I had a fever. “I know! Stop being so paranoid. She survived because of me; if I wasn’t here, she’d die. It’s my fault, I burdened myself. But I promise you, you’re the only one who can have my child!” The patio door wasn’t soundproof enough. 【Ryan, the things you said were truly hurtful.】 【But if you don’t want my baby, then I don’t want them either. After all, my body probably couldn’t keep them anyway.】 【Ryan, actually, I really hate you.】 【If you had been honest with me, maybe I could have prepared myself to leave you?】 【Your words and actions are like soft knives, not deadly, but they’ve almost stabbed through my heart.】 【Ryan, the baby is gone, and I don’t want to live anymore.】 【Consider these notes as my belongings, left for you.】 【Oh, and under our bed is the money I left for you. I haven’t really touched the money you gave me all these years.】 【Think of it as my wedding gift to you!】 【Ryan, I don’t want to be your burden anymore. Goodbye.】 Ryan frantically flipped through the pages. The blankness that followed made his entire being halt. His hands trembling, he tried to call me again. But still, no answer. He rushed into the bedroom, found the card under the bed, and a receipt. The receipt showed Chloe had bought a bottle of sleeping pills. He looked at the sleeping pills in the bedside drawer. His suspended heart sank. “Hello? Can you help me find Chloe?” The person on the other end seemed half-asleep. After a confused sound, they checked the time. “Are you serious, Ryan?! It’s the middle of the night.” “Chloe isn’t sleeping next to you at this hour? Where would she go alone? Don’t you take her everywhere?” Ryan was trembling all over. “I, yesterday, yesterday…” “Yesterday, I left her on the hillside. I thought she’d gone home by now, but I can’t reach her.” … Yesterday was our eight-year anniversary, and also my farewell ceremony. Ryan and I hadn’t eaten alone together in a long time. I had specifically made reservations two weeks in advance, but halfway there, Bree’s phone call rang again. By then, I had developed a reactive response to that sudden ringtone. Whenever Ryan answered, he would purposefully lower his voice, always starting with, “What’s wrong?” The voice on the other end was soft, tinged with sniffles. Ryan immediately panicked, slamming on the brakes. “Chloe, something’s come up. I can’t make it.” “You get out here; I’ll send someone to pick you up and take you home.” That time, I stared at Ryan for a long, long time. I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. But in the end, I got out of the car, on a darkening evening, on the hillside. Why does love disappear? Ryan. After a long silence, the person on the other end swore a few times. “Ryan, I told you your messy business would eventually be found out by Chloe!” “Didn’t I tell you to stop… I…” Ryan’s eyes were red, his voice trembling as he cut off his friend. “I know, I know I messed up.” “Just help me first, please help me find her…” Ryan’s voice was almost pleading, heavy with emotion. Just then, a call came in. Ryan’s face lit up when he saw the caller ID. It showed my name. My Beloved Chloe. “Chloe’s calling me back, I’ll take this…” Ryan hung up and answered my call. “Chloe, where are you?” “What happened yesterday was my fault, I apologize. Tell me where you are, I’ll come pick you up…” A deep male voice interrupted Ryan’s repentance. The voice on the other end said, “Mr. Brown, this is the South City Police Department. A female body was found near Cloudview Mountain yesterday. It has been identified as Chloe Smith…”
🌟 Continue the story here 👉🏻 📲 Download the “NovelMaster” app 🔍 search for “364875”, and watch the full series ✨! #NovelMaster #现实主义Realistic #重生Reborn #浪漫Romance #擦边Steamy
Leave a Reply