When I returned to 1980, I quietly changed my heart’s desire from my original choice to the wealthy young man next door who always loved to flirt with me. My senator father, Tom Brown, was somewhat surprised by this but still respected my decision. In my previous life, Tom asked me which of the boys at the military base I fancied most. I wrote down Quentin Worthington’s name. Tom nodded and said, “Quentin earned his medal after just three years of service in the Marines. He’s definitely got a bright future ahead. He seems like he’d make a loyal and reliable husband.” Tom immediately arranged a date between Quentin and me. Both families thought we were a perfect match. Our wedding was grand, with nearly half the Pentagon in attendance. But six months after our marriage, Quentin was transferred to an Alaskan military base for a special mission. Not only did he leave me to care for his parents alone, but he also cut off contact with me when Tom fell seriously ill. After I finished arranging Tom’s funeral, I learned that Quentin had died in action. Under this double blow, I jumped from a building and killed myself, my soul lingering long after death. Forty years later, an elderly couple appeared at my grave. Quentin came to my grave with his arm around Lauren Phillips’ waist and said, “Lily, I’m sorry I deceived you back then. But Lauren was diagnosed with limited time left, so I could only ask for your forgiveness. If you want revenge, come find me.” So they had loved each other so deeply all along. Quentin had faked his death to deceive me for Lauren’s sake, thinking I resented them, which caused Lauren to fall terminally ill. Learning the truth, I finally found peace. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day Tom asked me whom I wanted to marry. ***** “I heard you buried a time capsule in the park. Tell me, whose name did you write?” Tom looked at me with a gentle smile. I suddenly remembered how haggard he looked when he was seriously ill in my previous life. If it hadn’t been for Quentin’s mother, Sharon Foster, deliberately stalling, I could have seen Tom one last time. With tears streaming down my face, I couldn’t help but hug him and say, “Dad, I want to marry Nathaniel Beaumont.” Tom was stunned for a moment. “Nathaniel? I remember you liked Quentin, didn’t you?” Seeing me cry so sadly, he had to compromise. “Alright, Nathaniel is lucky indeed. When his father returns, I’ll go discuss this matter with him.” That would be in three days. I remembered that in my previous life, it was also three days later that Quentin and I officially got engaged. But this time, I wouldn’t go to Quentin’s house anymore. I wiped away my tears. My friends were still waiting for me in the living room. My friend Megan Smith ran over to urge me, saying, “The book club was your responsibility. How could you just agree when Lauren suggested burying a time capsule? She’s always targeting you—can’t you see that?” Thinking back, that was indeed true. When I was fifteen, I first experienced Lauren’s malice. She pointed at my dress and said loudly, “My God, don’t you even know how to use tampons?” That was the third year after my mother’s death. Because of this incident, my classmates all laughed at me behind my back. Worst of all, Quentin happened to be passing by our classroom. I was so ashamed that I didn’t go to school for a week. When I was eighteen, I secretly went to the shooting range to watch Quentin train, and Lauren followed. I felt someone push me from behind, and a bullet flew past my ear, nearly killing me. Tom was so angry he grounded me for a month. I now believe that must have been Lauren’s doing too. Yet in my previous life, I had completely failed to notice her hostility. This book club’s “time capsule burial” activity was also her idea. Lauren suggested writing down our crushes’ names and digging up the time capsule to celebrate once our wishes came true. I thought it was a romantic idea, so I adopted it. After being reborn and realizing the truth, I immediately changed Quentin’s name to Nathaniel’s. Megan was still defending me. I looked up to see Quentin running toward us. She thought Quentin was coming for me, but actually he had another purpose. “Lily, don’t let Mr. Brown contact my parents. I won’t marry you.” I was puzzled about how Quentin knew Tom planned to contact his parents. I instinctively tried to explain, “I didn’t…” “If you’re willing to help me and Lauren be together, I’ll consider you a good friend.” As he spoke, a hint of tenderness flashed in Quentin’s eyes, but it quickly turned cold again. “Otherwise, we can’t even be friends.” But in my previous life, he had clearly been willing to marry me. I didn’t know why he had suddenly changed his mind. Looking at Quentin’s determined expression, I wondered, “Could he have been reborn too?”
Quentin frowned, as if I were some thorny problem that needed solving. I couldn’t understand where the disgust in his eyes came from. I had never done anything to wrong their family. In my past life, if he hadn’t insisted on going to the Alaska military base, I wouldn’t have had to take care of his parents in his place, and Tom wouldn’t have gotten stomach ulcers from worrying about me without daring to tell me. Later, when Tom’s condition worsened, by the time I ran into Nathaniel accompanying him to the hospital, he was already in the late stages of stomach cancer. Sharon seemed easy to get along with, but she was actually a snob. When she saw Tom lose his power due to illness, she stopped pretending. I only went to the hospital a few times to bring Tom meals, and Sharon accused me of not caring about her. Left with no choice, I wrote to Quentin asking if he could take leave to come back, only to discover I couldn’t reach him at all. For a whole month, I watched Tom unable to eat even a bite, becoming nothing but skin and bones. Sharon spread rumors everywhere, saying she suspected I was dating doctors at the hospital, which was why I never came home. If it hadn’t been for Nathaniel taking care of Tom, I would have collapsed long ago. Later Tom died, and I resented Quentin for it. But then Quentin died too—though it was a fake death, I believed it at the time. Nathaniel begged me on the rooftop to keep living. My mind was in complete chaos then, and I decided not to cause him any more trouble. “What are you thinking about? You zone out the moment you see Quentin.” Nathaniel poked my forehead, pulling my thoughts back to reality. Only then did I realize I had been staring at Quentin for quite a while. Nathaniel continued, “You’re so ungrateful! I’m with you every day, but you don’t care about me.” The old me would have definitely scolded Nathaniel for being shameless by now. But I suddenly asked him, “If I cared about you, would you marry me?” Quentin beside us froze for a moment, then suddenly looked up. Nathaniel said in surprise, “Lily, you’ve gone too far! How dare you tease me?” He laughed helplessly, lacking confidence, “Sorry, I won’t joke around in front of Quentin anymore, okay?” “I…” I was about to explain when Nathaniel took the books from my arms and ran back to the living room, leaving Quentin and me staring at each other. Quentin’s gaze turned cold, “Give up. Lauren saved me, and I really can’t break her heart.” I touched the scar on the inside of my wrist, thinking how coincidental it was. I thought to myself, “I saved you too, and I can’t even play piano anymore because of you. Why aren’t you grateful to me? Since you’re so worried about me marrying you, I’ll let you worry for a few days.” “Instead of trying to convince me, you should convince your parents. After all, who wouldn’t like a senator’s daughter?” I said, feigning helplessness. Lauren’s father was just a minor clerk at a defense contractor, with an insignificant position, and her mother was a stepmother. Because of Sharon’s snobbery, it would be very difficult for Quentin to marry Lauren. Quentin glared at me, saying displeasedly, “Lily, stop pestering me! I’m not afraid of you anymore.” I was stunned, thinking, “So you only started being afraid of me after I died? Are you afraid that I’ll come back to seek revenge after being wronged by you?” Before I could voice my question, an urgent voice came from down the hallway: “Quentin! Lauren’s been hurt!”
So Quentin could worry about others after all. I remembered in my past life, when he received orders to transfer to the Alaska base, Sharon fainted from worry. I was anxious and restless, only able to think of going to church to light candles and pray for him. I knelt before the pews until my knees were bruised, and they never fully recovered after I got home. The day we saw Quentin off, he watched me struggle to walk properly. Not only did he show no sympathy, but he scolded me: “These religious rituals are useless. You’d be better off cooking a good meal for my parents. Lily, you’re not a little girl anymore. You need to learn how to be a proper military spouse.” Now Lauren had merely gotten a small cut on her hand—one that probably wouldn’t even leave a scar. Yet Quentin was extremely worried about her, cradling her finger as if afraid she might be in pain. “Lily Brown, you knew perfectly well that Lauren’s favorite book is ‘Gone with the Wind.’ What did you mean by hiding that razor blade in it?!” Quentin’s eyes were bloodshot as he carried Lauren toward the door. His footsteps made my heart ache. Lauren struggled shyly for a moment, then gripped Quentin’s hand tightly and shot me a provocative look. Before I could say anything, Quentin slammed the door shut. I stood there, my grip on the book suddenly tightening. “Lily! Your hand!” Blood gushed down. It turned out my beloved book had hidden an even sharper blade. Lauren was still treating me like a rival, as always. But there was no need. This time, I wouldn’t compete with her. Quentin’s outburst ended the book club meeting on the spot. Nathaniel carefully bandaged my wound. He said, “You really won’t go to the ER? Then I’ll have to use everything I learned to patch you up properly.” As Nathaniel spoke, he leaned closer, his breathing right by my ear. “Baby, what will you do without me in the future?” I turned my head and accidentally brushed his cheek with my nose. I said, “Then stick to me like gum. I’m not chasing you away…” Nathaniel looked at me in surprise, then shyly lowered his head. Then he laughed self-deprecatingly: “I wouldn’t want to interfere with your dates with Quentin.” After saying this, he shot me a petulant glare. I found it baffling. Early the next morning, I used my unbandaged hand to inventory the jewelry my mother had left me. That’s when Quentin angrily pounded on my door. “You had Lauren’s dance competition eligibility revoked, didn’t you?” His collar was slightly open, completely different from his usual proper appearance. I’d never seen him this angry over anyone. “I didn’t.” I pushed against Quentin’s shoulders, trying to get him to leave. Lauren ran over, pleading with me: “Lily, I know the chairman of the arts committee is your relative. Yesterday I accidentally cut my hand myself—it had nothing to do with you. I’ll testify to clear your name. Can you give me back my spot?” Lauren wiped away tears, as if I had really bullied her. “You didn’t have the ability to earn that spot yourself, so how is it my fault?” I couldn’t help but argue back. I heard a sharp crack and felt pain on my left cheek. Quentin’s hand trembled as he slapped me: “Lily, you’ve gone too far. How can you be so careless with other people’s futures? I only criticized you a little, and you went and framed Lauren. We all grew up together as friends—you’ve gone too far.” I looked at him coldly. Quentin was the last person in the world who had the right to say those words. It was too much when he abandoned me to go on dates with his lover at the military base. It was too much when he faked his death to trick me into supporting his parents. And forty Christmases after my death, when Quentin brought his mistress to visit my grave and asked me to let them go—that was the most excessive of all. Quentin noticed my bandaged hand and snorted coldly: “Lauren hurt her hand, so you bandaged yours too. Are you hoping I’ll pity you? Your acting is pathetic.” I shoved him hard and said, “Get out!” Blood seeped through the bandage on my hand. When Quentin saw it, he froze: “Lily, you…” I felt utterly powerless. I regretted not listening to Nathaniel yesterday and going straight to the ER for proper treatment. My hand wound must have gotten infected—otherwise, why would my head feel so dizzy and my consciousness so unclear? I passed out. “Lily!” “Lily!” When I opened my eyes again, I saw a mess of tousled hair. “Nathaniel?” “What’s wrong?” Nathaniel’s voice was hoarse, and he looked exhausted as he lifted his head to look at me. I checked my watch and realized I’d slept the entire day. Seeing me looking around, Nathaniel sighed. “Stop looking—that jerk isn’t here.” Megan walked in carrying a lunch box and said, “Quentin is such a bastard. He seemed so worried about you, but the moment Lauren said she felt dizzy, he ran off to her again. If Nathaniel hadn’t wanted to take you to the hospital to change your bandages, you would’ve burned to death right at your doorstep!” Nathaniel told Megan to stop talking. For a moment, I stared at that familiar back of his head. All my memories of Nathaniel came flooding back. I remembered Nathaniel taking off his jacket to cover my dirty dress, riding his bike to take me home. When I was grounded, Nathaniel would climb up to my window in the middle of the night, telling jokes to cheer me up. Nathaniel helped me organize Tom’s funeral. He once knelt by my gravestone all night before finally leaving in despair. Even after achieving success, Nathaniel still kept my photo on his nightstand. Someone secretly left nutritional supplements with my name on them at Quentin’s door. For forty Christmases after my death, Nathaniel still prepared birthday gifts for me every Christmas. I suddenly wanted to rush home and discuss marrying him with Nathaniel’s parents. The day felt incredibly long. By the time I was discharged and returned home, it was already midnight. Tom took two phone calls, and the next morning he was dressed and sitting properly in the living room. I didn’t expect Sharon to arrive first. She appeared at my door carrying gifts. “Lily, how’s your hand?” I was surprised. Behind her stood Quentin, looking guilty. He had gauze on his forehead, as if he’d been hit. Nathaniel, who had been coming to my house morning and evening, snorted coldly in displeasure. After exchanging pleasantries with Tom, Sharon said nervously, “Lily, don’t be angry. Once you two get married, I’ll make it up to you. Mr. Brown, Quentin and Lily are such a perfect match—what do you think about them being together?” As she spoke, she pulled out a jewelry box from her bag. Quentin frowned, but seeing Nathaniel looking dejected nearby, he inexplicably straightened his chest. I was stunned. The doorway suddenly became noisy. My friends had arrived. A complete set of Tiffany jewelry and a custom wedding dress were brought into the living room. “We want a bride as wonderful as Lily too!” Nathaniel’s parents came over from next door. “Nathaniel usually seems pretty carefree, but he really only cares about Lily. Lily, why don’t you consider dating Nathaniel?” Nathaniel changed from his previous nonchalant attitude and said seriously, “Mom, Dad, Lily actually doesn’t…” Before he could finish, Quentin let out a cold laugh. Quentin’s arrogant expression seemed to be waiting for his prize to voluntarily return to his hands. Suddenly, the room fell silent, with only the sound of my footsteps breaking the quiet. As I moved, Quentin’s expression changed from smug arrogance to disbelief. “Lily, you…” As I moved, Quentin’s expression changed from smug arrogance to disbelief. “Lily, you…” I said, “I’m willing to marry Nathaniel!” I said, “I’m willing to marry Nathaniel!”
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