Author: Momo Chan

I told her I was done the moment I slid into the passenger seat of Sloan’s Tesla, fresh from the traffic authority office. “Asher, I’m exhausted. Stop playing games, please?” I looked at Sloan’s profile—her hands gripping the steering wheel—and a laugh, thin and brittle, escaped me. “I’m not playing games.” “Sloan,” I turned my head, my gaze tracking the blur of neon lights outside the window, “this is where we get off.” 1 The Tesla slammed to a stop mid-span on the main bridge. The air inside the car was instantly thick, frozen like the surface of a December lake. “Reason.” Sloan’s fingers drummed once, sharply, on the steering wheel. Her voice was cold enough to frost the glass. “Give me one good reason. What in the hell is this dramatic exit about now?” I glanced in the rearview mirror at the silver Lexus that had followed us for three intersections, then pressed the button to lower my window. The night wind rushed in, clean and sharp. “I’d guess we have thirty seconds.” “Before the person in that car comes running to you.” I started the countdown, low enough for only her to hear. “Thirty.” “Twenty-nine.” “Twenty-eight.” When I reached twenty-five, the Lexus had pulled over and stopped. The driver’s side door flew open, and a boy in a beige trench coat sprinted toward us, tapping frantically on Sloan’s window. Sloan frowned and pushed the button. “Sloan, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” Kellan’s eyes were already red-rimmed, his voice shaking with a manufactured sob. “I truly didn’t mean to rear-end you, I just saw your car driving so fast, and I was so worried you’d crash, so I followed…” He looked past her, directly at me, and a single, perfect tear rolled down his cheek. “Asher, please don’t be angry. I wasn’t trying to interrupt you guys. I was just… I was just so worried.” He reached for my sleeve, and I recoiled, pulling my arm away. “Hit me,” Kellan pleaded, pushing his face closer. “If it’ll make you feel better, just hit me.” Sloan pressed her hand firmly on his shoulder, keeping him in place. “Kellan, stop it. What are you doing?” Then she turned back to me, her eyes heavy with disappointment. “Your damn chivalry? Did you leave it in the precinct parking lot?” I laughed out loud. See? I hadn’t done a single thing, yet just by sitting here, I was instantly cast as the unreasonable, classless man. I pushed Kellan’s hand away and stared directly at Sloan. “Do you understand now?” “Sloan,” the part of my chest where my heart used to be felt utterly numb. I unbuckled my seatbelt. “That is the reason.” “We’re over.” I shoved the car door open. Over Kellan’s look—that flicker of shock, then undeniable, smug victory in his eyes—I gave Sloan a smile. “Congratulations. All those little maneuvers you used to wedge yourself between me and Sloan over the years are finally paying off.” “Sloan is all yours.” I turned and walked away. Sloan bolted out of the car, grabbing my wrist and spinning me back around. “Asher! Do you have any idea how important the signing I missed today was because of this fender-bender? You called, said you’d been hit, and I threw down my pen and rushed to the precinct! And for what? The person who hit you was Kellan! He’s an intern at my own company!” “He apologized. Insurance is filed. What more do you want from me?” “I’ve been biting my tongue for months, Asher. Kellan is always here, always talking you up, telling me to be more understanding, telling me not to fight with you. Can you stop being so ungracious?” Her grip on my wrist was crushing. An old injury flared beneath her grasp, a sharp, familiar jab of pain. I looked down at the pale circle of skin her fingers were devouring. “Let go!” I yanked my arm free, rubbing the throbbing spot, and then I roared. “Sloan!” “I’ve been biting my tongue for eight years!” Sloan and I had been together for eight years. From college to launching her company, from a shared basement apartment to a view of Avery Coast in a high-rise. We’d fought, we’d argued, we’d had weeks of silence, but I had never done this—I had never humiliated her in front of a third party. But I was done holding back. “I had a 104-degree fever, and you were helping him at the shelter find a home for a stray cat. I was getting torn apart by a client during a crucial pitch, and you were on a rooftop watching a meteor shower with him. Every single time I genuinely needed you, you were already with him!” I held her gaze. “You gave him the security code to my apartment so he could sneak in and grab files while I was out of town. You gave him my prized, irreplaceable, first-edition collection set for his birthday, telling him, ‘Asher doesn’t really play with these anymore.’ Today, my car gets rear-ended, and your first words were, ‘Is Kellan okay?’” “Sloan!” “We’re done!” My composure, which I’d desperately clung to all evening, shattered like a broken dam. Sloan’s face paled. She automatically started to rationalize. “I had Kellan get the files because I was running into a meeting! I asked about his car because his damage was worse! Why are you always dissecting every little thing!” “Asher!” She looked at me, her eyes filled with nothing but exhaustion and disappointment. “When did you become so petty? Hunting for microscopic crumbs of evidence?” “You’re turning into exactly the kind of small-minded man you swore you’d never be!” I thought I was past the point of pain. From giving my statement at the traffic authority office to sitting in her car, I had been perfectly calm. I even spent that drive reviewing our eight years—from meeting to falling in love, from having nothing to having everything. And I had concluded: it had to end. I wanted a clean exit. But her words still twisted my heart, a blunt force trauma to the softest part of my chest. “Yeah. In your eyes, I’m the small-minded one.” I let out a weak chuckle. “Well, I don’t need your approval anymore.” I turned to leave, but Kellan scrambled to his feet and grabbed my arm. He was crying now. Tears streaming down his face, though I hadn’t shed a single one. “Asher, I’m sorry, this is all my fault… I’ll quit tomorrow. I’ll leave the company. I’ll disappear… Sloan really loves you. Please, don’t break up with her. Please.” I hated this performance most of all. Looking at his tear-drenched face, I ripped my arm out of his grasp. “Get lost!” Kellan stumbled back a few steps, staring at me, startled. “Asher!” Sloan rushed forward to steady Kellan. Seeing the scrape on his elbow, she turned on me, her voice shaking with rage. “Are you insane! Apologize to Kellan!” “Dream on.” I looked at Sloan, then caught Kellan’s expression—a fleeting moment of triumph beneath the tears—and spat out a final ultimatum: “Either we end this cleanly, or I move out right now, and you can deal with the fallout. You choose.” I didn’t look back. I didn’t care about Kellan’s choked sobs or Sloan’s attempts to soothe him. I flagged down a cab and headed straight for my oldest friend Rhys’s place. 2 Rhys opened the door, looked at me, and didn’t ask a single question. He just stepped aside. He wordlessly pulled two six-packs of an ice-cold IPA from the fridge and set them on the coffee table. He only asked one thing: “Good start?” I looked at the beers, and my eyes suddenly burned. I’d managed to hold it together until now. Rhys didn’t say anything else, he just opened his arms. “Cry, man. Go for it. You don’t have to put on a show for me.” I completely broke. I collapsed onto his shoulder, howling until my throat was raw, shaking uncontrollably, until I finally stumbled into his bathroom and threw up until there was nothing left. Finally, my voice hoarse, I whispered: “I’m leaving her.” What is the end of love? It’s when the person you swore you’d face the world with turns into the opponent sticking the knife in your back. It’s when you finally admit that the grave you once believed could bloom with flowers is just a pile of dirt—the flowers will wilt, and the love will die. I stayed at Rhys’s place for two weeks. In that time, I scrolled through thirty-seven updates on Kellan’s private feed. Every single one featured a glimpse of Sloan. [Midnight deadlines don’t feel so lonely when you have the right company.] The photo was a selfie of Kellan. In the blurry background, Sloan was a focused profile at her computer. [You promised you’d always be my light.] The photo was two hands linked: on Kellan’s wrist was the Cartier watch I’d bought Sloan last Christmas. The other hand, resting lightly on his arm, was hers. [Taking the most important person to the most important place.] A photo of Kellan, beaming, inside an airport lounge. Beside him, Sloan was captured mid-doze. Post after post. Rhys jumped off the couch, pointing at my phone, screaming. “I swear to God! That little shit! Is Sloan blind? How can she not see what he’s doing? It’s completely obvious!” Rhys was furious. I, conversely, felt strangely calm. I was going through withdrawal, and the craving was almost gone. I just shrugged at Rhys’s outburst. “Sloan knows exactly what she’s doing.” “She knows?” Rhys sank down beside me. “Then why does she keep playing the innocent victim?” “To her, if they haven’t slept together, she’s innocent.” I managed a wry smile. “She always told me that her relationship with Kellan was pure and clean. And that my mind was the only thing that was dirty.” Sloan always maintained that one boundary. So whenever I pushed back, she always shut me down with the same weapon: “You’re seeing things because your heart is poisoned.” 3 Now looking at these posts, I felt nothing. “The moving company is scheduled for ten,” I reminded Rhys. If I was breaking it off, I had to physically leave that apartment. My things weren’t extensive, but a few items couldn’t stay—chiefly, the box of my father’s original blueprints and sketches. “Just glad you finally came to your senses,” Rhys said, clapping me on the shoulder. When we arrived at the apartment building, I checked my phone—Kellan had posted half an hour ago, tagged at a resort hotel in the next county, the photo grid featuring a dozen pictures of Sloan. I thought I’d have the place to myself. But the moment I unlocked the door, the scent of a simmering garlic butter sauce hit me. I walked into the living room and saw Kellan, wearing my charcoal grey cashmere lounge pants, sitting cross-legged at the dining table, picking at a plate of shrimp. He jumped up like a startled rabbit when he saw me. “Asher…” I ignored him, my eyes tracing the pants back to the source—Sloan, who had just walked out of the kitchen holding a steaming pot of soup, her expression instantly freezing. “You’re back?” Sloan asked stiffly. “Have you eaten?” I didn’t answer. I walked straight toward my study. Then I stopped dead in the doorway. The design books, once perfectly ordered on the shelves, were pulled out and haphazardly stacked. My work desk was a mess of scattered drawings, but the thing that made my blood run cold was the corner of the room: The door to my father’s old floor safe was wide open. 4 “Asher…” Kellan had crept to the doorway, his voice thin as a mosquito’s whine. “I’m so sorry… Sloan and I came back from the hotel, and I realized I left my suitcase there… Sloan told me to put on your clothes…” “I accidentally… bumped the safe.” A buzzing started in my head. I spun around and saw Kellan holding a stack of faded, yellowed paper—my father’s original blueprints and sketches—the edge of the stack stained with a huge, dark smear of coffee. “I swear I didn’t mean to!” Kellan threw himself forward, grabbing my arm, instantly on his knees. “Please, just hit me! I’m begging you! Hit me!” “I didn’t know these were your dad’s designs! I honestly didn’t know!” He grabbed my hand, trying to force it to strike his face. “Hit me! Hit me hard! I deserve it!” He then attempted to kowtow, but before his head could touch the floor, an arm slipped beneath his chest, stopping him. Sloan pulled him up and looked at me, her voice as flat as if she were commenting on the weather. “He’s gone, Asher. They’re just drawings. They’re not him. Kellan is sorry, can you please stop making this worse?” Her tone was so rational, so utterly dismissive of my grief. As if I were the one who was overreacting, the one who was small-minded. She stood between us, a protector, blocking my path to Kellan. “He already feels terrible. Just let it go.”

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The night before my SATs. Mom was in the kitchen, cooking my favorite dinner. My sister, six months pregnant, sat on the couch helping me pack, nagging me for the hundredth time not to forget my admission ticket. I smiled, about to say “okay.” Suddenly, a line of bullet comments (danmu) floated across my vision. The text read: [Is this the family that gets brutally murdered right before the SATs?] [Such a pity. If this girl didn’t die, she had a shot at Harvard.] [The sister is the most tragic. Not only dismembered, but the baby was cut out of her belly and thrown into the sewer.] A chill ran down my spine. They said… my whole family dies tonight? 1 Knock knock knock. Before I could process the meaning of the floating text, someone knocked on the door. “Who is it?” my sister asked casually. “Delivery.” “We didn’t order any takeout,” my sister said, puzzled. “Wrong address?” “No, Unit 401, for Ms. Rosie.” Rosie. That’s me. My sister gave me a playful glare. “Ordering takeout right before dinner? You little glutton.” “But since your big exam is tomorrow, I’ll let it slide.” She stood up to open the door. As she moved, the text in front of me scrolled frantically. [Don’t open it! That’s not a delivery guy, it’s a psycho killer!] [Seriously, don’t you know if you ordered food? Why just open the door for anyone?] [This is why characters in horror novels die. zero survival instincts.] Cold sweat drenched my back. I grabbed my sister’s arm. “Wait! Don’t open it!” She looked back, confused. “What’s wrong?” I pointed at the door, whispering, “Sis, something’s wrong. I never ordered anything.” My sister looked through the peephole, then recoiled. “He’s not wearing a uniform. He really looks suspicious.” My sweat poured. The comments were real. There was a murderer outside. As if sensing our hesitation, the person outside pulled a wet, dirty uniform from his bag. “Please open up, I have another order to deliver. I really am a delivery driver. I fell into a puddle and got my uniform dirty, so I took it off.” “But we didn’t order anything,” my sister said through the door. “It was ordered for you. The note says: ‘Good luck on the SATs, Princess Rosie.’” My sister relaxed instantly. She smiled at me. “Mystery solved. Your brother-in-law ordered it. Princess Rosie, do your best tomorrow.” She reached for the lock again. “Princess Rosie.” Only my brother-in-law called me that. But the comments made me hesitate. I stopped her again. “Leave it at the door. We’ll get it later.” The person outside didn’t move. “It’s marked as a valuable item. Must be signed for in person. Please hurry, I’m late for my next delivery.” My sister laughed. “Valuable? Definitely from your brother-in-law. He said he’d get you something good after the exam. You little worrywart, open the door.” She reached for the lock. The comments screamed at us to run. The “delivery guy” kept urging us. My mind was a mess. Maybe he’s legit. But what if? Looking at my pregnant sister and my mom in the kitchen, I couldn’t risk it. I stopped her again. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cleaver. Ignoring their confused looks, I stood by the door and opened it. I later learned this decision was the start of a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. 2 The moment the door opened, he kicked the knife out of my hand. Before I could react, another man hiding behind him swung an axe into my head. To make sure I didn’t run, he smashed my lower back with a hammer. My sister screamed and tried to save me, but he grabbed her hair and dragged her inside. Mom rushed out with a knife but was stabbed through the heart with a machete. Pain and blood consumed me. In my last moments, I saw the comments again. [Poor girl tried so hard, but still died.] [Yeah, and because she stalled, the killer tortured her sister even worse. The baby was ground into meat paste.] [Sigh. This family is cursed.] 3 I opened my eyes. The pain and smell of blood were gone. I was standing in the living room, safe and sound. The smell of fried pork filled the air. My sister was on the couch, nagging me about my admission ticket. The text floated before me again. [Is this the family that gets dismembered before the SATs?] [If not for those killers, this girl could have gone to Harvard.] [The sister had it worst. Baby cut out and destroyed.] Tears filled my eyes. I hugged my sister tight. “Why are you so clingy all of a sudden? Nervous about tomorrow?” “Don’t worry. I took time off work to be with you.” I couldn’t hold back the tears. My sister is the best. Since Dad died, it’s just been the three of us. Life was hard, but we had each other. But such good people were brutally murdered. Knock knock knock. “Who is it?” I stopped her. “Shh. My classmate’s dad is the police chief. He said two killers are posing as delivery drivers in our neighborhood. Don’t open the door for strangers.” My sister looked surprised but stayed silent. She picked up a baseball bat. “Don’t be scared, Rosie. I’ll protect you.” Mom came out with a knife. “Mom will protect you too. No one hurts my girls.” Their trust moved me to tears, but I had no time to cry. I locked the door and called 911. “There are killers outside our door.” The police said they’d be there in 10 minutes. I relaxed slightly. We just need to hold the door. But the comments scrolled faster. [Smart girl, keeping the door locked.] [But she doesn’t know there’s already an accomplice hiding inside the house.] [No matter what she does, the ending is the same.] Cold sweat returned. An accomplice inside? Where? Squeak. A faint sound from the corner. A man stepped out of the large wardrobe. He smiled psychotically. “Smart. Knowing not to open the door.” “But useless.” He swung a machete at Mom. Blood filled my vision. I grabbed Mom’s dropped knife and charged him. But before I reached him, a gunshot rang out. He had a gun. I fell, dead. My sister screamed, raising the bat, but the door was axed open. The intruder struck her back, then her belly. The baby, the intestines… dragged out. We died again. Brutally. 4 Dad died when I was in elementary school. Mom raised us selling fruit. She refused to remarry, fearing a stepfather wouldn’t treat us well. Rain or shine, she worked her stall. She put my sister through college. Now it was my turn. I was top of my class. Teachers said I was Ivy League material. Mom said once I got into college, she could finally rest. We planned a trip to Yunnan after my sister gave birth. Mom had never left the city. We were finally growing up. We could finally take care of her. But why? Even reborn, I couldn’t save them. I closed my eyes in despair. Opened them again. Back in the living room. 5 Fried pork smell. Sister nagging. I stared at the door, desperate. Two killers outside. One with a gun inside. We three women couldn’t win. My sister noticed my silence. “Rosie, nervous? Don’t worry. I’m with you.” Comments: [Here we go again. The massacred family.] [Poor girl.] I clenched my fists, brain racing. We can’t fight them. I looked at the balcony. Our balcony was connected to the neighbor’s by a narrow gap. Only a small person could fit. I was skinny enough. The neighbor’s sons were a gym coach and a PE teacher. If I could get their help… I texted the police. Then I typed a note on my phone and showed my sister. [Don’t speak. There’s a killer hiding in the house. Two more are coming to the door.] [Stall the people at the door. Do not open it.] [I’m going next door for help.] We didn’t alert Mom to avoid startling the gunman in the wardrobe. When the knocking started, I was on the balcony. I looked at my sister one last time and squeezed through the gap. Comments: [Smart girl. Going for help.] [But useless. Horror novels always have casualties.] [They can’t escape.] I ignored them. I will change fate. But the neighbor’s balcony door was locked. No one was home. I had to find help. I looked down. Fourth floor. I gritted my teeth and jumped onto the AC unit below. Layer by layer, I climbed down. I ran toward the complex exit, screaming for help. A van sped toward me. Bang. I lay on the ground, bleeding out. A short, fat man got out of the van, yelling into his phone. “How are you guys working? Someone jumped from the balcony! Idiots, finish the job!” Upstairs, my sister screamed. I closed my eyes. Four killers. The comments were right. We can’t escape.

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Right before finals week, a new student transferred into my class. She was a straight-A student, hailed as future Valedictorian material, and she loved to “be reasonable” about everything. During late-night study hall, I took some time to explain wrong answers to a few students. She confronted me on the spot: “Doesn’t the Board of Education say extracurricular tutoring is forbidden? How dare you violate the regulations?” Because there was a student in the class whose parent was a fallen firefighter, I had them fill out paperwork for extra credit points. She stood up at the senior parent meeting and publicly questioned me: “Why are you giving that student special treatment? Did you accept a massive bribe?” Parents believed I was violating rules, causing a scene at the Board of Education, accusing me of bribery. I was stripped of my eligibility for the Teacher of the Year award. The day before the SATs, I encouraged a student suffering from depression, telling her she would definitely get into a good college. The class president said in front of everyone: “She can’t even hold a pen steady when she has an episode, and she’s mentally ill. Why lie to her that she can get into college?” The student suffered a major breakdown and jumped off a building on the day of the exam. Her grieving parent blamed me for bullying their child and ran me over with a truck outside the exam center. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day the new class president questioned how I dared to violate regulations. 1 “Ms. Jiang, doesn’t the Board of Education say extracurricular tutoring is forbidden? How dare you violate the regulations?” The moment I heard Bella Lin’s voice, my scalp tingled. I stood frozen at the podium, the fluorescent lights blindingly cold. Unfinished math problems lay on the desk. Before me were three or four students waiting for answers; in my ear was Bella’s shrill voice. “You’re breaking the rules, you know? This is illegal tutoring!” The bell rang. In that second, my heart clenched tight. I had died once. The day before the SATs, I was crushed by a truck outside the exam center. And before I died, this “reasonable” Valedictorian candidate nailed me to the pillar of shame with the sentence: “Why lie to a mentally ill person that she can get into college?” Now, I was back, one month before that nightmare. Seeing no response, Bella stepped closer, enunciating every word: “Ms. Jiang, aren’t you going to explain? Why are you ignoring me?” I couldn’t be bothered with her. I picked up the test papers on the desk and called the students with questions. “Come on, let’s go to the office and continue.” She was clearly triggered by my indifference, her face darkening. Did she think I was still the Ms. Jiang she could manipulate and control? She followed me into the office, standing arrogantly in front of my desk. Her eyes swept over the other teachers tutoring students, then fixed dead on me. “Ms. Jiang, you’re ignoring me because you’re guilty, right? Do you admit you’re conducting illegal tutoring?” I lowered my head to explain the paper to the students, pretending not to hear. “You’re evading responsibility! As class president, I have an obligation to point out your problems!” She raised her volume, slamming her hand on the test paper I was explaining. Other teachers looked up, annoyance written on their faces as they looked at the “reasonable” Bella. No one spoke; the office fell into a weird silence. “If you don’t respond, it means you admit it!” Bella leaned in, her voice so sharp it almost pierced my eardrums. “I am officially reporting you for illegal extracurricular tutoring, violating Board of Education regulations!” I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed my red pen on the table. Slap. The students jumped. Bella froze too; she didn’t expect the usually gentle me to fight back. I looked up, suppressing my rage, and stared at her calmly. “If you want to report me, go ahead. No need to notify me in the office! I don’t reason with emotionally unstable students.” “This is normal school hours, tutoring students at school. I haven’t violated any regulations!” “Who are you calling emotionally unstable?!” She flew into a rage out of humiliation, glaring at me viciously: “This is bullying! I’m just helping persecuted students. What right do you have to ignore me?” I sneered. “Stating facts? Last time you threw away three years of notes from the whole class, was that helping students too? You, a transfer student who just arrived, what right do you have to interfere with the class’s study plan?” Her eyes flickered, but she remained stubborn. “I was doing it for everyone’s good. Exam experts say not to be too anxious before the SATs, not to read too many notes!” “Then shouldn’t you be responsible for the consequences of throwing away the whole class’s notes?” My voice wasn’t loud, but every word hit the mark. “You call yourself a Valedictorian candidate, wandering around the class every day, staring at my top students to change seats and ‘progress together’? The result? You make noise in the classroom every day, affecting other students’ studies!” Her face started to crack. I pressed on. “You advise them not to read notes, saying to relax before the exam, but I see your own desk piled high with notes!” “Those are study notes accumulated over three years. Behind every notebook is the students’ 5:30 AM reading, pulling all-nighters to correct mistakes, the blood and sweat of countless annotations on test papers!” 2 Her eyes filled with tears, hands trembling uncontrollably. She didn’t expect me to attack her publicly. “I’m the class president. I’m also helping students have a good mindset for the exam.” “Does being class president allow you to break into the school during holidays, pry open the classroom, and move all the notes to the dumpster?” I was furious, my tone severe. “Do you know that a student came back that day, couldn’t find their notes, and cried squatting at the classroom door for a whole period? A student dug through the dumpster until their hands were cut, saying they were finished, saying they had no face to take the SATs!” The office went silent instantly. Bella’s eyes darted around, but she didn’t answer. I stood up, staring at her face that claimed innocence, word by word: “Bella Lin, don’t play the saint in front of me. You dictate to students, preaching sanctimoniously about rules, discipline, expert advice, but you never bear the consequences. You are just selfish!” She opened her mouth to speak, but I was faster. “You’re a Valedictorian candidate? Then shut your mouth and write your own test papers well. Don’t use a label of good grades to do things like bullying students and stepping on teachers behind their backs.” Scared pale by my sudden change in attitude, she broke down crying in the office, finally slamming the door and leaving. Other teachers were silent for a moment. The head of the senior teaching group looked at me and whispered. “How dare Ms. Jiang go hard on her? Her dad is in the Board of Education.” I sighed and shook my head. “If I don’t toughen up, she’ll ruin the lives of the whole class sooner or later!” In my past life, Bella threw away the whole class’s notes. I spent a day and a night retrieving soaked notes from the garbage station and restoring them one by one. In the end, she cried saying she didn’t mean it and wouldn’t be so impulsive in the future. She cried so pitifully that the school leaders thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill and bullying a student. I was tortured by her “logic” but couldn’t speak out. In Bella’s eyes, I was probably a soft persimmon easy to pinch. But in this life, I won’t tolerate her anymore. The moment Bella slammed the door and left crying, my mind was completely swallowed by memories of my past life. In my past life, at the all-school senior parent meeting. Just because I filled out extra credit paperwork for a student whose parent was a martyr. She ran to the podium and spoke, full of righteousness and “reason.” “Ms. Jiang, why are you giving a student a special extra credit channel? Is it because you accepted a large bribe?” With a face full of “upholding justice,” the parents below were in an uproar. Before I could explain a word, I was targeted by the Board of Education, and the school leaders immediately cancelled my eligibility for the teacher title evaluation. In the end, the matter was cleared up. That student indeed qualified for the policy. But Bella just said lightly: “I didn’t know she was a martyr’s child. I didn’t see the documents. I was just maintaining the fairness and justice of the SATs.” She even wore an innocent expression, the corners of her mouth slightly raised. “I am also a student about to take the exam. I have the right to know if others are competing based on strength.” That day, looking at her guilt-free face, I suddenly understood that some people are born bad! Bella was that kind of natural-born evil seed. I was already wary of her then, determined to keep my distance. I thought as long as I sent her safely into the exam hall and ended the critical period of the final month sprint, this would all be over. But on the last day before the SATs, I was encouraging students in the classroom. Bella insisted on standing next to me, saying: “I want to encourage students on behalf of the class officers.” That day, I specifically encouraged a girl in the class whose grades had been stable in the city’s top three, but whose mother died in the first semester of senior year. She suffered from severe depression, living on the edge. I gently held her hand and said: “You are amazing. As long as you get through this, there will surely be a bright future.” 3 Bella stood beside me and suddenly smiled. I’ll never forget that smile. She said to the whole class: “She can’t even hold a pen steady when she has an episode, and she’s mentally ill. Why lie to her that she can get into college?” “And her mom is dead. How could the future possibly get better?” Her sentence “How could the future possibly get better” was like a knife plunged into that child’s heart. The next day, the day of the exam, that girl jumped from the 23rd floor of her home. At noon that day, outside the exam center, I was crushed into a pile of bloody mud by her father driving a large truck. When I died, I only heard Bella whispering not far away: “This is all Ms. Jiang’s fault. Who told her to always say ‘irresponsible’ comforting words.” “If she had told the truth back then and reasoned with that student, she wouldn’t have forced that student to jump.” My thoughts returned. The students in the office had already left after getting their questions answered. This time, reborn, I didn’t swallow my anger like in my past life. I unhesitatingly retorted to the arrogant Bella. She would definitely not let it go. Sure enough, the next day she brought her Board of Education father to school. She wore a neat uniform, eyes just red enough, voice choking, looking so pitiful. “I just pointed out Ms. Jiang’s violation yesterday, and she gave me the silent treatment… I just wanted to follow the rules…” Her dad sat in the office, his tone authoritative without anger. “Ms. Jiang, my daughter has always been reasonable. She came home crying yesterday, saying she was humiliated by you in public. We don’t cause trouble, but we won’t let others bully us either.” Standing in the office, I laughed at this father-daughter duo’s ability to invert black and white. “If your daughter followed rules, she wouldn’t have soaked the notes of over thirty students and thrown them in the trash!” “Yesterday, I was answering student questions during normal school hours. From beginning to end, I was reasoning with Bella. I did not give her the silent treatment.” My tone was neither humble nor arrogant. But Bella suddenly burst into tears. “I was just kindly helping classmates relieve stress. Those notes aren’t important anyway. Why are you so fierce to me?” “…Sob… Ms. Jiang, you’re just unreasonable. You clearly humiliated me with cold violence last night… I know you hate me… but I was just reasoning with you, you can’t tutor illegally…” Bella was an expert crier. She cried like pear blossoms bathed in rain, as if she suffered a great injustice. Some teachers nearby started to waver, especially those not in the office yesterday. “Ms. Jiang, are you being a bit too emotional?” “Bella is such a sensible child, why did you make her cry?” “Yeah, Bella is a city Valedictorian candidate. It’s wrong of you to scold a student.” Especially the head teacher of Class 2, the elite class, who had always been dissatisfied with me. He fawned over the Lin father and daughter. “Student Lin, our Class 2 has several top science students. If you don’t fit the atmosphere here, you are welcome to our class anytime. No one in our class will bully you.” Bella shook her head on the spot: “I don’t want to transfer classes…” My heart tightened! In this life, I really didn’t want to keep Bella, this ticking time bomb, in my class. The Class 2 head teacher continued: “We also have a student named Zhou Qian, who won first prize in the National Chemistry Olympiad and might get priority admission to top universities like Harvard or MIT. Maybe you two can aim for Valedictorian together.” I noticed Bella’s eyes change. Just for a second, then she switched back to the aggrieved look. “Then… if I can really progress with excellent students, I’m willing to try.” The suspicion buried in my heart in the past life surfaced again. Bella, this Valedictorian candidate, seemed to always want to destroy students who had hopes of entering top universities. 4 Once Bella transferred, I thought I could relax. She went to Class 2 and became the “Valedictorian seed” in Mr. Yang’s eyes. He praised her in front of everyone in the office: “Student Lin is disciplined, sensible, responsible, and very reasonable.” I sneered. He would soon know how terrifying the “reasonable” Bella was. Sure enough, less than a week later, Bella caused trouble. That day, I was verifying the signatures for the martyr’s child’s extra credit paperwork when the office door was slammed open with a bang. Mr. Yang rushed in, face livid with rage, pointing at Bella behind him and almost shouting: “Zhou Qian’s competition bonus points were specially approved by the Ministry of Education! What right do you have to publicly report me for violation at the all-school parent meeting?” I was stunned, looking back to see Bella standing in the office, holding a folder, face full of justice. “Mr. Yang, I’m just exercising my rights.” She looked innocent. “I am also an exam candidate. I have the right to know if people around me are competing fairly.” Mr. Yang was so angry his chest heaved. “You said ‘Why can Zhou Qian add fifty points just for a competition? Did you take benefits from his family?’ Do you know how many parents stood up on the spot saying they wanted to report me?!” Bella blinked innocently, not feeling she was wrong at all. “Just because they got emotional doesn’t mean I have a problem.” “You’re roasting me on the fire!” Mr. Yang coughed violently, clutching his chest, hands shaking with anger. “I’ve led over a dozen graduating classes and never violated regulations to give extra points to any student! What exactly do you want!” “I just want fairness.” She stood up, righteous. “You yelling at me in exasperation doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t publicly display Zhou Qian’s bonus qualifications on the spot. Since you can’t explain clearly, I can only report it.” “I don’t want to hear your explanation. I just want you to be reasonable.” When she said this, the corners of her mouth even carried a gentle smile. I clearly saw a flash of triumph in her eyes. Mr. Yang sat down angrily, sighing heavily. Standing aside, looking at her familiar face, I felt cold all over. I was absolutely certain now, Bella did it on purpose! As long as she was in this school, she would find opportunities to completely destroy the chances of all students who belonged in top universities! That night she left the office “crying.” She was always good at positioning herself as the “victim,” making everyone who didn’t know the truth pity her, protect her, and stand up for her. But what I didn’t expect was that the next morning, the city news exploded. [City High School No. 1 Suspected of Violation in Exam Bonus Points, Student Claims Threats to Silence Truth] [Senior Head Teacher Forces Student to Silence? Education Fairness Questioned] The voiceover in the news was that edited recording: “…Reporting is useless… Board of Education gave… Zhou Qian points… passed his documents, no problem…” The voice was Mr. Yang’s, but edited beyond recognition. My scalp tingled on the spot. In this life, Bella failed to report to the Board of Education smoothly, so she sent the recording directly to the media. All senior classes were suspended. The City Board of Education immediately sent people to the school to review all bonus point documents. I was also called for questioning. Because she added a sentence in the news interview. “My former head teacher, Ms. Jiang, also violated regulations to give extra points to a certain student in class. I’m just a student; I can only turn to the media to tell the truth.” I watched her red-eyed and trembling voice in front of the camera. “I’ve always been afraid of Ms. Jiang. She always scolded me… and because I reported her for illegal tutoring, she bullied and gave me the silent treatment many times. Later I had no choice but to transfer classes in the last month before the exam…”

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Ethan promised he’d propose on our fourth anniversary. But this year is our eighth year together. He says he loves me, while aggressively pursuing a junior from his college days. To impress her, he even spent a fortune to snatch away my late mother’s necklace. “Chloe hasn’t seen much of the world, she just really likes this. Let her have it, I’ll make it up to you later.” “Okay.” This time, I didn’t cry or make a scene. Instead, I dialed a number. “Liam, what you said last time… say it again?” He was confused, but repeated, “Dump Ethan. Marry me.” “Okay. I will.” … Liam paused, stunned. We were silent for two whole minutes. “Are you serious?” “Yes.” Liam chuckled deeply. “I’ll be waiting.” 1 “Who are you talking to?” Ethan suddenly hugged me from behind, startling me. I locked my phone and shook my head. “Unhappy? You know Chloe’s background isn’t like yours. Just let her have this one.” “Mmh.” Ethan’s phone vibrated non-stop. He looked down to reply, a gentle smile appearing on his lips. It was a message from Chloe. The photo was the most eye-catching part. My mother’s necklace was around her neck, dipping perfectly into her cleavage. The photo was cropped just right, even showing a hint of her lace lingerie. “Ethan.” He sat on the bed, mesmerizingly staring at the photo. Laughing to himself. Completely ignoring my voice. “Ethan!” I raised my voice, and he snapped his head up. “What’s up?” “When do you plan to propose?” Ethan put away his phone, scratching his head to cover his awkwardness. “Aren’t we… still young?” “Youth is for having fun. Since my wifey was so generous today, the boys are throwing a party to celebrate. Want to come?” Ethan’s eyes told me everything. He was waiting for me to say no. “I…” Ethan suddenly hugged me. “I’ll pass on your regards. You don’t like the smell of alcohol, so just wait for me at home, okay?” I looked down and scoffed. Ethan thought I was agreeing happily. Goal achieved, he didn’t waste another word on me. He turned and left with his phone. As he walked out, I saw him zooming in on that photo. Holding my pajamas, I subconsciously looked at myself in the mirror. Average figure. Average face. Chloe and I are indeed from two different generations. At midnight, one of Ethan’s friends posted an update. A video. Music blaring, the room reeking of debauchery. Several young people cheering on the dance floor. Right when the music paused. I heard a familiar voice. “Zack, I want to propose to Chloe.” It was Ethan. Putting down my phone, I stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Our relationship survived the seven-year itch, but couldn’t survive a single winter. 2 I was about to sleep when I got a text from Ethan’s friend, Zack. Simple: Sis, can you bring some stomach meds? Ethan didn’t have stomach issues. Neither did Zack. From Ethan’s earlier words, it wasn’t hard to guess what they were up to. I didn’t know if Zack calling me was Ethan’s idea. When I got there, I leaned against my car for a long time. Only when my legs went numb did I muster the courage to go in. Seems I really picked the wrong time. Ethan was on one knee. “Chloe, I really love you.” “Chloe, marry me?” “Chloe, I want you.” Love was spilling out of Ethan’s eyes. Chloe stood opposite him, covering her mouth in excitement. She was beautiful, and her shy demeanor was exactly Ethan’s type. “Ethan… I do.” Unknowingly, tears were already on my face. Running down my chin. They were using my mother’s necklace for the proposal. Ethan, you really opened my eyes. The two embraced and kissed under the spotlight. A match made in heaven, how romantic. But, of the dozen people present… Drinking, smoking, playing on phones. No one clapped. Ethan noticed something was off, his face darkening. “Why aren’t you cheering?” His friends all kept their heads down, acting busy. Ethan looked around, a layer of frost in his eyes. “You propose to her, what about Maya?” Ethan licked his lips, patted Zack on the shoulder, and laughed. “Zack, do you know what a heartbeat feels like?” “Maya has been with you for eight years.” “Shh…” Ethan hushed him. “Don’t mention her on such a happy occasion.” “For the past eight years, I was blind, thinking that was love. Only after meeting Chloe did I know what love really is. I want to give her my everything! But Maya?” Ethan looked at his friends, trying to persuade everyone. “Maya is born with a silver spoon, she doesn’t lack love. But Chloe only has me. Do you understand?” “Every time I go home and see Maya’s face, I feel so bored.” “Yes, Maya is great, but she’s not the one I want to marry.” No one responded to Ethan. Everyone smoked, heads down, silent. “Ethan… maybe, forget it, we don’t need cheering…” Crash! Ethan threw a glass. “Cheer!” Usually, when Ethan got angry, everyone would back off. But this time, no one humored him. For a moment, I was dazed too. Eight years ago, none of them were optimistic about us. Seeing me, the spoiled heiress, they never gave me a good face. They even told Ethan to dump me. Eight years flew by, and everyone accepted me as their “sister-in-law.” Only Ethan didn’t. Clap, clap, clap. I clapped three times slowly. All eyes turned to me. Ethan’s pupils shrank, panic setting in. “You, how are you here?” Realizing something, Ethan’s face changed drastically. “Who called her?” I walked up to Ethan, and Chloe blocked him. Arms spread wide, a protective stance. Clearly scared, yet bravely shielding him. This look, any man would fall for it. “Maya sis, it’s all my fault, don’t, don’t blame him…” I reached out and unclasped the necklace from Chloe’s neck. “Ethan, didn’t anyone tell you, proposing with a dead person’s belongings brings bad luck?” 3 “Don’t scare Chloe. Let’s talk at home.” Saying that, Ethan started grabbing his jacket from the sofa. Like he wanted to flee. “Ethan, do I still have a home?” Ethan paused mid-grab, turning back to look at me. He pulled me towards the exit. Chloe tried to follow. But Zack stopped her. In the hallway, the lights were dim. I couldn’t see Ethan’s face clearly. “Chloe is young and immature. Her birthday wish this year was for someone to propose. I drank too much, I wasn’t thinking.” I stayed silent, so Ethan hugged me. Usually, when I was mad, he’d coax and trick me like this. And every time, I forgave him. He breathed hotly on me. “Wifey, don’t be mad.” But he didn’t know. This time, I wouldn’t forgive him. “Then come home with me now.” “Okay! Let’s go home!” Ethan dragged me towards the exit. Chloe was right by the door; I knew she could hear. Three, two… Bang! The door opened, and Chloe collapsed in the hallway. Ethan ran back almost instantly. “Chloe!” “Ethan… I’m fine… is Maya sis angry?” Chloe grabbed a huge bottle of liquor. “I’ll apologize to Maya sis.” Then she tilted her head and chugged. 58-proof liquor, she downed half the bottle in one breath. To gain Ethan’s concern, she really went all out. “Chloe!” Ethan snatched the bottle, heartbroken. “Did Maya sis forgive me?” Ethan turned and roared at me, “Say something!” The man who was cuddling me just moments ago couldn’t pretend anymore seeing Chloe in trouble. “I never blamed you.” Chloe coughed, reaching out to me. “Since Maya sis isn’t mad, can you give the necklace back? That was a gift from Ethan.” I immediately pressed down on my bag. “This is my mom’s legacy.” “But Ethan gave it to me.” “Seems like sis still won’t forgive me.” Saying that, Chloe snatched the bottle back and started chugging again. Ethan was frantic. “Maya! Give it to her!” Ethan rushed over, trying to snatch my bag. “This is my mom’s legacy! Can’t you see she’s doing it on purpose!” Ethan wouldn’t listen to anything, pulling my bag like a mad dog. “Maya, can you stop thinking so dirty of people? Chloe isn’t like you.” “Maya, Chloe is just a little girl, can you stop pushing her?” Ethan was too strong. Even with all my strength, he snatched the bag. I grabbed at it, and Chloe grabbed at it too. Finally, the necklace snapped inch by inch, silver beads bouncing on the floor. I stared dumbfounded at the two silver beads in my hand. Looking up, I saw the smirk on Chloe’s face. Ethan turned and yelled at me, “Maya, haven’t you made enough trouble!” He pinned all the blame on me. He saw through everything, yet couldn’t see through Chloe’s act. Perhaps realizing he went too far. Ethan looked helplessly at the beads on the floor. He touched my head. “S-Sorry, I… I drank too much.” “Tomorrow… tomorrow I’ll make it up to you, okay?” Chloe was clutching her chest and vomiting violently. Ethan picked her up and ran out. “Tomorrow at noon, I’ll take you to buy a new one, okay?” He ran fast, wind rushing past my ears. I looked at the scattered silver beads and laughed, leaning against the wall. Ethan and I, aren’t we just like these beads? A seemingly whole family, in the end, scattered like sand on the floor. I don’t want the necklace anymore. Ethan, I don’t want you anymore either. I can’t guarantee I’ll forget you completely. But Ethan, I guarantee you will never find me again. “Airline? I want to buy the soonest ticket to South Province.” 4 Hanging up, I went back. The earliest flight was in three days. Back home, I packed everything. Whatever I could take, I took. Whatever I couldn’t, I burned. Our photo albums were all in the bedside drawer. But there was one on Ethan’s desk. He hadn’t been home in a long time; the desk was dusty. But this album was strangely clean. He must flip through it often when he’s bored, right? I took it to burn with the rest. Only to find that inside, interspersed, were photos of him and Chloe. The first time Chloe visited, she praised our photos for being beautiful. Turns out, later they went too. I closed the album and put it back. The wall clock chimed. It was already 5 PM. Ethan broke his promise again. Ding dong. Liam sent a voice message. “I had someone mail the marriage agreement. Just sign it.” I composed myself. Turning around, I found Ethan right behind me. “Who are you chatting with so happily?” I shook my head. Ethan was sweating profusely, soaked through. “Move.” I pushed past him to leave. But a complete necklace appeared before my eyes. It was Mom’s necklace. I held it in my palms, looking up at him. “You… you found them all?” Ethan scratched his head. “Picked them up for ages.” He rubbed his eyes. “Almost went blind looking.” “So you didn’t come back by noon because you were picking up my mom’s necklace?” “What else?” He hugged me gently. “You don’t know how tired I am. Squatting on the floor all day, my back is killing me.” “But still missing two beads. Wifey, you won’t blame me for being late, right?” Holding Mom’s necklace, my vision blurred. Big teardrops fell into my palm. I mumbled indistinctly, “Ethan, thank you…” “What are you saying? You’re my fiancée.” I excitedly went into the room. I knew where the missing two beads were. Rummaging through my bag, I found the three beads from yesterday. I smiled excitedly, but then realized the color of the silver beads in my hand was completely different from the ones in my bag! The one in my hand had oxidation marks too, but different from Mom’s… I squatted on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Ethan, how long are you going to lie to me? What do you take me for? A voice came from outside. “Delivery for Maya Jiang, please sign.” Soon, Ethan came in. Holding a document envelope. Opening it as he walked. “Why is there a document delivery? What is it?” My phone kept buzzing. [Liam: Did you receive the marriage agreement?] I snapped my head up, locking eyes with Ethan.

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Julian and I are both crazy. On our wedding day, I smashed his head open, and he choked me while cursing, “Sienna, don’t even dream of happiness in this life, unless you die.” For three years of marriage, we were like beasts in a cage, tearing at each other ceaselessly. I wished I could grind his bones to dust. He wished he could skin me alive. But when I really died… He wanted to play Ghost with me. 1 When I found Julian, he was cuddled up with a girl in a white dress. Light makeup, looking like a fresh lotus flower. Ignoring the diagnosis report in my bag, I pulled out my Dior #999 lipstick and touched up my lips. “Having fun, Julian?” My appearance didn’t cause a ripple. Julian didn’t even bother to lift his eyelids. This scene… His crew was used to it. I walked straight over, yanked the girl up, and raised my hand to slap her face— The girl turned pale, tears welling up. “Julian, save me!” “Sienna, you dare touch her!” Julian grabbed my left wrist, standing up and glaring at me with gritted teeth. “Try me.” My free right hand swung around and slapped his face. Slap. Loud and clear. I lifted my chin. “Well? Satisfied?” The next second, my neck was being strangled. I looked at his furious expression and smirked sarcastically. “Your eyesight is getting worse. Which part of her looks like my sister?” The grip on my neck tightened instantly. Oxygen was running out. I breathed with difficulty. He squinted at me. “Likewise. That college boy you’re sponsoring doesn’t even compare to a fraction of my brother.” 2 Everyone in the private room had left. Even the girl who was screaming earlier had been dragged away. They were used to it. I’ve been married to Julian for three years. Scenes like this had played out in front of them hundreds of times. Every time Julian blatantly sought out some innocent-looking girl to have fun with, I’d give him face by making a scene. No matter how messy it got, they never intervened. After all, nothing compared to the scene at our wedding. It should have been a sweet wedding, full of vows of eternal love. Instead, Julian told me, “Do you know why I’m marrying you?” “With two lives on your conscience, don’t ever dream of happiness.” I realized then that this wedding was his long-planned revenge. I have a fiery temper and never take a loss. So I turned around, grabbed a vase, and smashed it over his head. Blood streamed down his forehead. He wiped it off, and with his blood-stained hand, he choked me. “It’s because of your disgusting personality that they died. Sienna, you deserve to die.” Newylweds choking each other, blood splattering on the wedding dress. We both wished the other would go to hell. But the wedding continued. With my red, strangled neck and his bleeding forehead. We completed a bizarre, accursed ceremony. From then on, we tortured each other tirelessly for three years. But now, I don’t want to play anymore. Because I don’t want to carry the Fu name even after death, to be a ghost of the Fu family. 3 “Divorce.” The next day, I brought the divorce papers to Julian’s company. He frowned at the papers. His assistant glanced at me. In their eyes, we were just “two lunatics.” Tormenting each other, but never mentioning divorce. They speculated I wouldn’t let go of Julian because of his money. And Julian wouldn’t divorce me to deal with his family. Indeed, the only benefit of being with Julian was financial security. So, in the divorce agreement, I demanded an equal split of assets. Julian tore it up in front of me. “Want to take my money and run off with your college boy?” I shrugged. “Once divorced, it’s my money. None of your business if I run off with a college boy or a college girl.” “Keep. Dreaming. In this life, we are tied together until death.” I’ve heard similar words many times. But every time, every single time, it still stung. Who would have thought the person who accompanied me through my darkest, most helpless moments… Would personally drag me into the abyss just when I thought I was about to find happiness. His appearance wasn’t salvation; it was to tell me I hadn’t reached hell yet. Then he kicked me down. The current Julian isn’t the old Julian. And he isn’t my Julian. I lowered my eyes, clenching my fists tight to control my emotions. When I looked up again, my face was calm. “Then if I die, we’re done, right?” 4 After leaving the company, I went to the cemetery and stayed from dawn till dusk. In the evening, I drove to my parents’ house for dinner. Both parents were there. But no one spoke. The atmosphere was oppressive. I broke the silence. “I went to see my sister and Lucas today.” The atmosphere solidified further. My mom put down her chopsticks and left the table. “I’m full.” My dad continued eating silently, indifferent to my words. He finished faster than me and left the table first. I called out to him, “Dad, starting tomorrow, I might be gone… for a long time.” He paused. “You’ve always had your own mind. Who can control you?” In the end, only I was left at the table, eating cold rice. Tears fell onto the table, drop by drop. That night, I didn’t return to the marital home but went to the small apartment I bought before marriage. Before sleeping, I booked a flight to Dali, checked my balance, and transferred a large sum to the college student I sponsored. Early the next morning, I found him standing properly downstairs. “Ms. Xu, you already sent me money this month.” I had corrected him before not to call me Ms. Xu; it sounded old. But he never changed, so I stopped forcing him. I sipped my soy milk. “I sent the future payments all at once. Is it enough? While I’m still around, if it’s not enough, I can send more.” “I graduate next year. I don’t need this much. I’ll return the extra.” Honest kid. I stuffed the last dumpling into my mouth. “It’s useless to me anyway.” “Did something happen, Ms. Xu? Can I help?” I blinked. “You’re on break, right? I’ll take you on a trip.” One more ticket to Dali. Photos of me touring with the college student filled my social media. It was fun. But a body with cancer cells couldn’t handle it. Right now, I was vomiting my guts out in the hotel bathroom. Stomach and abdomen cramping in waves, I curled up by the toilet. My phone rang again and again. It was Julian. 5 But I didn’t even have the strength to reach out and hang up, so I just let it ring. The stomach cramps continued. I threw up into the toilet again. The cycle repeated until I couldn’t tell where the pain was coming from. Finally, my body calmed down. I sat on the floor, hugging myself. Suddenly felt so useless. Julian got his way with the marriage. And he gets his way with my death. He’ll be so smug when he finds out. When I finally recovered enough, I composed myself and called Julian back. My voice had no trace of the sickness or sobbing from before. “What?” He was fiercer than me, almost roaring, “Sienna, is this how you disgust me? Delete those photos!” “If you don’t like wearing a green hat (being cheated on), then divorce me.” Julian always knew how to poke my wounds. “If my brother saw you like this, he’d be disgusted.” The abdominal pain returned. I bit my lip, enduring it desperately. “If my sister saw the cheap knockoff you found, she’d be stomping her feet in anger too.” Of course, I wasn’t bad at poking his wounds either. We were always like this, tit for tat. He hung up in anger, even forgetting to curse me to die. The doorbell rang. Percy stood at the door holding a pink pig-shaped cotton candy. “Ms. Xu, saw this downstairs, so I bought one for you.” Seeing someone who looked 80% like him holding the exact same cotton candy made me dazed for a moment. The grievances in my heart exploded instantly. My tears broke the dam. “Let me tell you a story.”

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The year I was my purest self, I split the meat bun my grandma made—the size of my face—and gave half to my scrawny desk mate. From then on, if I had a bite to eat, Julian had half. Junior year, Julian transferred. He was an illegitimate child, but his father finally acknowledged him. I left him a phone number: “If your dad doesn’t feed you well, call this number and find my grandma.” Five years later, while sorting through my late grandma’s belongings, her phone suddenly rang. “Grandma, I’m hungry.” I burst into tears at the phone: “I don’t have a grandma anymore…” Within an hour, a luxury SUV pulled up downstairs. “Lily Lin, I’m sorry, I’m late.” 1 I love meat buns—baozi. Thin skin, huge filling, dripping with savory oil. My grandma learned how to make them just for me. My parents had just scraped together enough for a small apartment in the city, so Grandma took me, a country bumpkin, to live with them. Grandma said, “A girl needs to see the world. Can’t stay in the sticks forever.” During dinner break in freshman year, I pulled out a baozi as big as my face, ready to feast. A gaze was locked onto the bun in my hand. It was my bean-sprout-skinny desk mate, Julian Gu. In this class, his popularity ranked dead last. Because he was an illegitimate child and his mom was sick, no one cared about him. His staring creeped me out, so I asked, “Why don’t you go to the cafeteria?” Julian’s eyes didn’t move an inch from my baozi: “My mom’s medicine costs money. I have no money for dinner.” Only then did I notice that Julian actually had nice features, but he was too thin, his cheeks and eyes sunken. I swallowed, steeled my heart, broke off half my baozi, and handed it to him. “I’m on a diet, can’t eat this much.” Julian’s hand hovered hesitantly in the air. It wasn’t until I placed that half bun in his palm that light returned to his eyes. I felt like if I didn’t feed him, he might start gnawing on me. “Th… thank you.” Although the baozi was a bit cold, it was still fresh and delicious. Julian wolfed it down. I ate the remaining half, feeling unsatisfied. If I knew he’d eat it like that, I would have given him less. I wasn’t full yet. 2 For the next few days, I’d split half of the baozi my grandma packed for me with Julian. I didn’t want to, initially. But when he looked at me with those big, pitiful eyes, my heart softened again. I pinched the flesh on my arm, then looked at Julian’s skeleton. Actually, eating less might be okay… Julian felt bad about eating my food for free, so he offered to help me with my studies. My English was terrible, but his was great. He patiently explained grammar to me and even let me copy his notes. Over time, we became friends. Sometimes we’d walk home together after school. High schoolers’ minds are basically adults’; the class was full of hormonal energy. Any interaction between a boy and a girl became gossip for the whole class. Julian and I were the subject of rumors. The guy behind me poked Julian’s back with a pen every day: “You bastard child and this country bumpkin, a perfect match!” Julian’s face got darker each time, but he never fought back. He didn’t want trouble. After all, he had no parents or family to back him up. Until one day, a classmate saw me splitting a baozi for Julian, and the whole class exploded. “I wondered why Julian was so attentive to Lily Lin. Turns out he’s a moocher living off a woman!” “Sigh, Lily is so stupid, wasting her kindness on Julian. Even his dad doesn’t want him, yet Lily treats him like a treasure…” Before, no matter how they humiliated Julian, he never resisted. But hearing someone call me stupid, he grabbed a chair and rushed at the guy, seizing his collar. “You say one more word about Lily, and I’ll smash your head in.” Julian was thin, but he wasn’t short. And after a month of being fed my baozi, he had much more energy. His forearms even showed muscle definition. The class went silent instantly. After all, when a quiet person snaps, it’s terrifying. Julian holding that chair leg looked like he could actually kill someone. 3 Since then, no one in the class dared say a word about Julian and me. I felt I needed to tell Grandma to make the baozi bigger next time. Because Julian’s appetite was growing. I went from giving him half, to three-fifths, to two-thirds. I was about to turn into a bean sprout myself. Every time I went home, Grandma asked if I finished the baozi. Finished? It wasn’t enough! My parents worked at a factory and only came home once a month; Grandma took care of me. I could feel Grandma’s confusion. She never skimped on the meat filling, so why was her granddaughter getting thinner? Grandma pinched my cheek, turning to the kitchen mumbling, “Guess I need to make them bigger…” In the finals before the New Year, both Julian and I improved by over a hundred ranks. I went from average to above average. And Julian shot into the top seven. Before, he studied on an empty stomach, which was inefficient. With my baozi, he was energized. Sometimes when he tutored me, I’d stare at his face and zone out. Because… Julian was damn handsome! Luckily, he was unpopular, and no one else noticed him. So only I could enjoy his looks. Winter break freshman year, my parents, Grandma, and I went back to the countryside for Chinese New Year. I turned to Julian, who was packing his bag. “What are you doing for winter break?” “Working.” In a blink, it was New Year’s Eve. The courtyard of our rural home was piled with red firecracker paper, and the TV was counting down to the New Year. I stood on the hill in the backyard, making a wish to the moon. “I hope Julian can eat his fill every year.” Wait, no, that wish is too simple. By the time I wanted to change it, the New Year bell had rung. Oh well. Eating his fill is good enough. 4 School started again, and everyone wore light spring clothes. Classmates were surprised to find I had slimmed down significantly and looked much better. Julian was even leaner than before the break. Looks like I have to fatten him up again. One morning, Julian kept his head down, silent. He ignored my greeting, just pointing to my desk drawer. Someone had stuffed a love letter inside. I read it over and over. After all, this was the first love letter I’d ever received. Julian snatched it away. “It’s just a scrap of paper. If you want one, I can write you one too!” Watching him panic like a dog jumping over a wall was hilarious. Julian suddenly turned red realizing what he said. We both lowered our heads. At the end of freshman year, I improved another hundred ranks. And Julian secured a spot in the top three. Grandma wanted to celebrate my “Most Improved” award, so she cooked a feast. I invited Julian. My parents weren’t home. Grandma welcomed Julian with a smile. “Look at this skinny child. Eat my baozi, I guarantee you won’t stay thin!” Julian and I exchanged a look, almost bursting into laughter. After dinner, I called Julian to my room to read. Julian took a rhinestone hairpin from his pocket and clipped it on my hair. “Mm, looks good. One day, I’ll replace all these with real diamonds.” A ray of sunlight slanted through the small window, hitting our profiles perfectly. He suddenly leaned down, looking at my face quietly. The sun turned his hair and eyelashes gold. If only time could freeze in this moment. If only Julian hadn’t transferred, if only Grandma hadn’t passed away… how good that would be.

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I was bound to a “Sick Transmigration System.” I transmigrated into the body of the real heiress, who everyone despised. Everyone loved the fake heiress, who had been meticulously cared for by the family for sixteen years. My three older brothers, afraid I would snatch what belonged to the fake heiress, mocked and ridiculed me. My biological parents, afraid my appearance would hurt the fake heiress, tried their best to compensate her. They never considered my feelings. They saw my craving for love as a threat, as jealousy. Later, I was dying. Even later, my second brother found the diary I hid under my pillow. They broke down. 1 I was bound to the “Sick Transmigration System.” I transmigrated into the body of Mia Sterling, the real heiress who had been found by the wealthy Sterling family six months ago. On my first day here. I got a plate of food thrown right in my face. Freshly cooked curry sauce dripped from my cheeks down to my neck, and fish balls rolled off my clothes onto the floor. It burned. I looked at the boy in front of me expressionlessly. There was no emotion in my eyes. Everyone else was shocked by his action too. Mother Sterling exclaimed, “Caden, what are you doing!” Caden Sterling looked a bit regretful, but what came out of his mouth was blame. “It’s because she always has that deadpan face. Didn’t she hear Lily talking to her?” Lily Sterling looked guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was because of me…” She looked at me apologetically. “Third Brother didn’t mean it. Mia, can I apologize for him?” Caden immediately got upset. “Who is she to deserve your apology? Lily, why do you care so much about her!” I twitched my lips faintly. I also really wanted to know what the original owner was to them. Looking at Lily, surrounded by three brothers, wearing a pristine white dress, her hair exquisitely styled. While I was stained yellow by curry sauce, smelling of food without even lowering my head. Lily. The family’s precious pearl. This name shouldn’t have been hers. I ignored Lily. I picked up the only fish ball left on my leg, swallowed it along with the sauce remaining on my lips. Not the taste I remembered. I stood up to leave. “I’m full, going back to my room now, thanks.” Turning around, I met the housekeeper, Auntie May’s worried gaze and smiled at her. Silence fell over the dining table. Father and Mother Sterling looked unhappy. Eldest brother Lucas Sterling said in a deep voice, “Caden, you really went too far this time. Mia didn’t do anything.” 2 I died in my original world. Late-stage stomach cancer, died at eighteen. Died from sheer pain. No one was by my side. Except for that fish ball just now, I hadn’t eaten anything normal for nearly three months. Maybe the System pitied me and brought me to this world. This body also has stomach cancer. But not yet terminal. The System said the original girl committed suicide by taking sleeping pills today. Frequent abdominal pain accompanied by coughing up blood told her something was wrong with her body. But she was afraid speaking up would trouble the Sterling family. Afraid it would make her family, who already disliked her, hate her even more. So she chose to leave this world directly. She was so silly. The Sterling family is rich; with proper treatment, she might have recovered. This family is truly ironic. They didn’t realize their biological daughter was sick even after having her back for six months. “Why am I here?” A girl who shared the same fate as me. Also an orphan from childhood. Also had stomach cancer. Maybe she was luckier than me. At sixteen, she was taken home by her biological parents. Maybe she was unluckier than me. She went to be an angel before ever receiving a shred of unreserved love. The System was silent. “My arrival seems to have worsened the body’s symptoms?” Feeling the taste of blood in my throat, I asked the System. The System said, “Yes. Like the original you, you might only make it to 18…” “But if you cooperate with treatment…” I said lightly, “Not treating it.” Doesn’t matter, gonna die anyway. Besides, I don’t want to live. 3 In the middle of the night, my stomach hurt unbearably. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. It felt like returning to my past life. Curled up every night, eyes open until dawn. There was nothing in the room. My mouth was dry, so I fumbled downstairs in the dark to find water. But I ran into my second brother, Ethan Sterling, in the living room. Ethan was a pro gamer, so it was normal for him to be up at 2 or 3 AM. Obviously, Ethan noticed me too. He looked at me with an ugly expression. Ethan was the most silent person in the Sterling family. The original owner hadn’t seen a good face from him in the six months she’d been back. I ignored him. He was probably annoyed just seeing the original owner. I hunched over and went to the kitchen. Unbeknownst to me, Ethan was scared by my appearance. Under the dim night light of the living room. He clearly saw me sweating profusely from pain, my lips pale. Except for the unnaturally red scald on my cheek, everywhere else was scary white. And I was used to looking abnormal from the torture of illness, so naturally, I didn’t care. I leaned on the sink to rest, and the next second, blood surged up, and I vomited blood. Retches. I choked out tears in discomfort. There was movement at the kitchen door; Ethan had followed me in. I hurriedly turned on the tap to wash away the blood in the sink, cupped my hands, and drank a few mouthfuls of tap water. Then I heard Ethan’s deep voice: “Drink warm water if you’re thirsty. Cold water gives you diarrhea.” I hummed softly, lowered my head, and tried to bypass him to leave. The original owner had barely spoken a few sentences to this second brother, and I had no desire to entangle with this family. But my wrist was grabbed by Ethan. I tilted my head to look at him, voice hoarse: “Second Brother, something wrong?” The close distance allowed Ethan to see the wound on my face more clearly. He was silent for a while before frowning: “Why didn’t you treat the burn on your face?” I looked at the expression on his face that seemed impatient. He probably thought this was just some trick to get attention. I pulled my hand back, nodding randomly, “Mm, going back now.” Too close. Ethan turned on the light and frowned as he approached the sink. Although the blood had been washed away. He still keenly saw the traces of red lingering after being washed by the water flow… 4 Early the next morning, I went downstairs and bumped into Caden at the stairwell. The original owner’s third brother was the one most hostile to her. He and Lily were similar in age and had the deepest bond. Maybe the boy was too young, only knowing that the sister he doted on and protected since childhood was suddenly replaced. This new person was going to take everything away from Lily. He vented all his dissatisfaction on his biological sister. He blamed her for breaking their original life. Little did he know, the original owner was the most innocent one. Caden looked at the obvious burn on my face, eyes dodging. He deliberately didn’t speak to me, waiting for me to greet him. Unexpectedly, I didn’t even look at him, walked around him, and left. Father Sterling said coldly, “You’re a big girl now, don’t you know how to treat a little burn yourself? What do you look like going out like this?” Father Sterling was a traditional patriarch; his eyes held more interest than family. He was just afraid my appearance would embarrass him. Moreover, the original owner was just someone brought back six months ago, with no skills in arts or music, poor grades, and no utilization value. Mother Sterling also looked disapproving. I sneered. If it were Lily, she would probably have been sent to the hospital immediately. Last night, no one took the initiative to ask if I was burned. Or if I was hungry after eating so little. Truly biased to the extreme. “There’s no first aid kit in the room.” Now it was the Sterling family’s turn to be silent. The master bedrooms in the Sterling villa naturally had everything. But they brought the original owner back and let their biological daughter stay in the guest room. The guest room had pitifully few things. The original owner even had to use the public bathroom. No one took the initiative to suggest changing rooms for the original owner. Mother Sterling looked at her daughter’s face, similar to hers, flushed red, and felt a moment of panic. If it were Lily, a little injury would attract the whole family’s care. Why was it that with me, there wasn’t a sound. Not as endearing as Lily at all. Caden said stubbornly, “How would we know it’s this serious if you didn’t say anything.” My upper abdomen started to hurt in waves, and I couldn’t help but hunch over. A taste of blood surged in my throat. I pulled my backpack straps, voice hoarse: “I’m going to school.” Caden frowned. Maybe it was his illusion, but Mia’s posture seemed wrong…

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In the morning, I had just finalized my divorce with Ethan. By the afternoon, he was on a plane back to River City with our daughter. Looking at the divorce certificate in my hand, I realized this was all that remained of our five-year marriage. I sold my house in Clear River and quit my job. With that, my last traces in Clear River vanished. On the high-speed train back to my hometown, I received a call from my daughter. She asked why I didn’t go back to River City with them. I smiled and answered: “Didn’t you cry and scream that you didn’t want me as your mother anymore?” “Don’t worry, you’ll have a new mom soon.” 1 Returning to my hometown, I saw Grandma leaning on her cane, looking out from the doorway. Beside her stood a cute little girl, looking at me curiously. In the past, I would have happily hugged any child I saw. But now, I didn’t like children anymore. Grandma told me this was the granddaughter of our neighbor, Grandma Ge. Her son and daughter-in-law had died in an accident, leaving only this child, so she was sent to the countryside. I nodded, feeling a flicker of sympathy, but I still didn’t like children. The little girl looked at me with big, round eyes: “Auntie, you’re really pretty.” I twitched the corner of my mouth, ignored her, and helped Grandma into the house. Grandma Ge came over a while later and took the little girl home. In the middle of the night, the sound of an ambulance siren pierced the silence. I opened the door to see Grandma Ge being carried into the ambulance, with the little girl standing behind, snot and tears streaming down her face. Later, the police took the little girl away. Two days later, Grandma sighed and told me that Grandma Ge had a heart attack and didn’t make it. I suddenly thought of that pitiful child and felt a pang of regret. I asked Grandma: “What about the little girl? Does she have any other relatives besides Grandma Ge?” Grandma thought for a moment and told me she seemed to have a distant uncle in the neighboring county. I felt relieved, at least the little girl would have a place to stay. The next morning, I opened the door and saw the little girl sitting shivering at the neighbor’s door. Obviously, the little girl’s relatives were unwilling to take her in and sent her back. Grandma looked at my face and told me she wanted to adopt the girl. I didn’t speak, but took the little girl to the police station to ask about the situation. In the end, I went through the procedures for her, and from then on, a girl named Nina was added to my household register. 2 After a month of settling in, I established my life back in my hometown. Nina was originally a cheerful girl, but the loss of her family members one by one had a significant impact on her. She changed from a girl who loved to laugh into a silent and solemn person. Although young, she became increasingly mature. She would watch my expressions, help me with housework, and go to the fields with Grandma to pick vegetables, helping her carry the basket. Every time I saw Nina being so sensible, I would think of my child far away in River City. The little princess held in the palm of the He family’s hand, Icey. If Icey wanted meat, someone would send her a ranch. If Icey wanted to swim, someone would send her a hotel. Nina often cried in the middle of the night, asking me if I would abandon her in the future. I held her in my arms, stroked her head, and answered: “No, Mom wants to live a happy life and doesn’t want to hurt the people around her.” “So, Nina, Mom will always make you happy. Do you believe Mom?” She was silent for a long time, then hugged me tightly. “Mom, Nina will always be with you. Nina also wants Mom to be happy.” Time passed bit by bit. Nina grew up day by day. When she was seven, Nina started elementary school. For years, I picked up and dropped off Nina every day, rain or shine. I held Nina’s hand walking home; Nina was very quiet along the way. Sometimes seeing other little girls crying to their parents, Nina would just glance lightly, telling me to be calm. I laughed; Nina was becoming more and more mature. Just walking into the small courtyard, a little girl in a fluffy dress ran towards me. “Mom!” I stepped back, and Nina caught the little girl who almost fell. “Little kid, you’ve got the wrong person.” I looked up at the man sitting opposite Grandma. “Sir, you must have the wrong place.” Icey immediately wailed. I looked at Grandma, who helplessly pulled Nina into the house. The year I returned to my hometown, I told Grandma that I would not contact the He family again. Grandma knew my past and didn’t ask much. Later, with Nina, Grandma hardly ever thought about that great-granddaughter with a bit of a temper. Ethan walked up to me, staring at me without saying a word. I stepped aside, leaving the door open for them, meaning for them to leave quickly. Icey saw Nina walk into the house, wiped her tears, and hugged my leg. “Mom, I miss you so much. Come back to River City with us, okay?” I smiled and patted her head, took her hand and walked outside. Turning to Ethan: “Mr. He, let’s talk outside.” 3 I looked at Ethan’s familiar face and remembered our past. Everything before seemed like a story in a novel, interesting yet boring. My grandfather and Ethan’s grandfather were comrades when they were young. It was said that my grandfather retired early due to injury because he saved Ethan’s grandfather. So before my grandfather passed away, our family had very close contact with the He family. The year I graduated from college, it was said that Ethan beat up a young master from a certain family in River City. The He family was afraid that family would cause trouble, so they arranged for Ethan to stay in Clear River for a while. That day, I received a call from my grandfather asking me to pick someone up at the airport. Just graduated, I was busy looking for a job everywhere. After a day of interviews, I had lost all my energy. Without time to freshen up, I casually tidied up and rushed to the airport. When I arrived, Ethan had been waiting impatiently at the exit for a long time. He sat on the steps, looking at his phone nonchalantly, sometimes smiling, sometimes frowning. The moment I saw him, I felt the fatigue of the day disappear. A boy as radiant as the scorching sun is the easiest to fall for. Crushing on someone, for me, was just chasing the possibility of getting closer to him each time, but never reaching the dream’s end. I knew the gap between our two families was like a chasm, but I couldn’t stop my heart from beating fast. After living with his grandparents in the countryside for half a month, Ethan felt too bored. Not long after, Grandpa called me and told me Ethan wanted to come to the city and asked me to help him find a place. I knew grandparents were old and had different living habits from Ethan. However, I was too busy during that time, until I saw Ethan at my door, I remembered this matter. Ethan didn’t say anything. After knowing I lived alone, he carelessly dragged his suitcase and moved into the apartment I rented. During the time living with Ethan, I learned he had a childhood sweetheart. Coming to Clear River this time was also because his childhood sweetheart was teased by a drunk friend. He was furious and beat the guy up, but that family had strong connections. Helpless, the He family could only arrange for him to come to Clear River first, and then use connections to make peace with that family later. Childhood sweethearts’ love is very enviable. And as a bystander, I often heard their affection, cold wars, and quarrels. During the three months Ethan was in Clear River, traces of his life were left everywhere in my apartment. That day, I knew Ethan had a fight with his childhood sweetheart again, thinking he would sleep early. Just opened the door, I saw Ethan lying on the floor. I quickly helped him to the sofa and went to the kitchen to pour him water. Ethan dazedly circled me in his arms, questioning why I brought him home. In the confusion, I didn’t know how the mistake was made. 4 I still remember the look in his eyes when he woke up. Cold, even ruthless. As if I had done something to wrong him. Although I had been in relationships, I had only done this kind of thing with him. That day, under his cold gaze, ignoring the soreness of my body, I fled in panic. That night, he called out someone else’s name. So lingering and touching, even during the years we were married, he never called me like that. Truly. The falling flower yearns for the flowing water, but the flowing water has no feeling for the falling flower. 5 There is a big tree at the entrance of Grandma’s house. In summer, many people enjoy the shade under the tree. But now it was late autumn. Apart from the falling leaves, there was only cold silence in the air. Ethan and I stood under the tree, behind us a withered scene. “What do you want to say?” Ethan looked straight at me. “Have you forgotten the content of the divorce agreement?” “What do you mean?” “Our marriage ended four years ago. “Over these years, I have followed the content of the divorce agreement and never looked for you. “Moreover, judging by Icey’s attitude, someone must frequently mention me in front of her. “When we separated, she was only three years old. It’s impossible for her to recognize me at first sight.” Ethan took a step forward and turned to look at Icey playing on the side. “It was Grandpa who often reminded her and showed her your photos.” “In that case, why appear at my house?” Ethan smiled slightly. “We went to the apartment in the city, only to find out you sold it. “So I brought her to find you in the countryside.” I closed my eyes and said: “You know this place doesn’t welcome you. “Forget it this time, take her away quickly.” I was a strict mother. Over these years, Icey had long been spoiled by the He family. If we spent more time together, she would like me even less. Better to let her leave now. Ethan didn’t speak, took Icey and left. I thought this matter ended here. Two days later, Nina told me Icey had transferred to her school and was in the same class. After knowing this, I sat in front of the door and thought for an afternoon. It doesn’t matter; my life still has to go on. I can’t let the two of them disrupt my pace.

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To “teach me a lesson,” my parents faked a DNA test claiming I wasn’t their biological son. My sister ignored my begging and threw me into a psychiatric hospital. “Troublemaker, why don’t you just die?” And my beloved fiancée not only stood by and watched but used her connections to make sure I suffered hell inside. Five years later, I finally learned to be “good.” But now, they want the arrogant, spirited young master back? 1 “Lucas, what kind of tantrum are you throwing now? It’s so late, and you’re still not home. Are you trying to make everyone worry on purpose?” My sister, Clara, scolded me over the phone. Five years. The Lu family finally arranged for my release. Because today is Ryan’s birthday, and he “graciously” offered to give me a chance to apologize. Dad took the phone. “I know you resent us for sending you to the mental hospital, but who told you to be so willful and bully Ryan? We did it for your own good!” Clara chimed in: “Exactly. Besides, we’ve taken you out now, haven’t we? What more do you want?” They rambled on for half an hour before finally asking where I was. “Where are you? We’ll send a car. Behave yourself this time, don’t run around!” I swallowed hard, my voice raspy from disuse. “The psychiatric hospital.” Yes. I had been waiting here from dawn till dusk, never moving an inch. Silence on the other end. A long pause, followed by louder questioning. “You couldn’t come back on your own? Do we have to fetch you? You haven’t forgotten the way home!” “Who are you putting on this show for? Still holding a grudge? I knew you haven’t learned your lesson. We shouldn’t have let you out!” They seemed to have forgotten that they told me to wait here and not move. “S-Sorry, Mr. Lu, Miss Lu. I didn’t mean to.” I apologized instinctively. The other end went silent again. Maybe shocked by my obedience, or perhaps surprised by how I addressed them. Five years ago, we were the closest family. If not for that DNA test, I would never have imagined that I, who looked so much like my parents, wasn’t their biological son. “Forget it!” The anger seemed to deflate. “I’ll have your sister pick you up!” 2 I continued to sit quietly, letting the cold wind and hunger consume me. “Buddy, need a ride?” A taxi stopped in front of me. I shook my head. “Waiting for someone.” Taxi after taxi came and went. It wasn’t until past 10 PM, when the hospital gate was closing, that the Lu family was still nowhere to be seen. Not a single message on my phone. The security guard couldn’t watch anymore. “You’ve been waiting all day! I’m off work soon. It’s remote out here, dangerous for you to be alone at night!” I just twitched the corner of my mouth, saying nothing. I waited five years; what’s one more day? The guard sighed, handing me some water and bread, then stayed overtime to keep me company. “Thank you, sir!” I ate the bread obediently. This was the happiest birthday I’d had in five years. 3 In the end, the Lu family’s car never came. The security guard drove me back. It was already midnight when I arrived at the Lu mansion. Still no message on my phone. The house was lit up, laughter spilling out from inside. I didn’t question them. If the maid hadn’t opened the door, I might have stood there forever. “How did you get so ugly? And your clothes are filthy.” Clara blurted out the moment she saw me. Mom seemed unable to believe it either. “Lucas, why are you so thin?” Why, in just five years, did the fit young master turn into a skeleton weighing less than ninety pounds? A flicker of heartache appeared in Dad’s eyes. He immediately ordered the maid to cook something for me. “We were going to pick you up, but Ryan wasn’t feeling well, so we…” I knew. This was their way of “reconciling.” They could neglect and suppress me for Ryan’s sake without guilt. Then give me a small favor afterward to make me forget the pain. Before, I would have been overjoyed. Now, I didn’t care. I tried to speak, but Clara interrupted. “Playing the victim card again? Pretending not to eat to make you feel bad so he can stay?” Mom shushed her, turning to me with gentle eyes. “Since we haven’t found your biological parents, you’ll live here. You can still call me Mom, like before. I still see you as my son!” “It’s okay, Mrs. Lu. I’m already very grateful you took me in!” A polite title turned the once closest relationship into a chasm. Mom couldn’t hold back, bursting into tears. I was no longer her arrogant, spoiled son. Even if I complained or blamed them for their neglect, it would be better than this servile humility. 4 Ryan trembled when he saw me, as if seeing a monster. After a long while, he mustered the courage to extend his hand. “Lucas, let’s make peace!” I stood frozen. I never fought with him, so where did “making peace” come from? Five years ago, as a college freshman, I declared my claim on Grace, my fiancée, as usual. I loved her fiercely, and as the arrogant Lu heir, I tolerated no rivals. Ryan was one of them. Though raised in an orphanage, he somehow made the aloof Grace look his way. Even my sister sided with him. I visited him once. After that, Ryan suffered bullying. Rumors said I was behind it. Until the end of the semester, Ryan couldn’t take it and jumped off the roof. He was saved, unharmed, but left a note filled with accusations against me! No one believed me. Grace cut ties with me. I thought that was rock bottom. Until the news broke: I wasn’t the real Lu son. Ryan was. Where were my biological parents? No one told me! Overnight, I fell from heaven to hell. Eventually, my family of twenty years united to send me to a mental hospital scarier than prison. “I don’t want the family to worry. Whatever you did, I forgive you.” “As long as you don’t upset Mom and Dad, I can treat you like a brother!” Ryan smiled, obedient and magnanimous. Anyone would praise him as the worthy Lu heir. Dad nodded approvingly. “Right. If you turn over a new leaf, you’re still the Lu family’s young master!” Clara scowled. “I’m only forgiving you for Ryan’s sake. Thank him! If you bully him again, I won’t spare you!” Five years ago, I would have explained desperately. I didn’t bully Ryan. He staged it all. But now, I wouldn’t act like a clown explaining to people who didn’t care. “Sorry. I came back mainly to get my ID card…” Everyone’s face darkened. They thought I was ungrateful. “Why do you always fuss over small things? Still being difficult? Do you want to go back to the hospital?” “We raised you! Why can’t you be good like Ryan? Why always defy us?” Mom seemed to lose control. I didn’t understand her reaction. “But, I’m not your biological son anymore!” Isn’t it normal to get my ID and leave? Mom froze. She stared at me, finding me strange. 5 Clara huffed. “You really calculated this, huh? Enjoyed twenty years of luxury and want to leave? Think you can repay that debt?” I lowered my head. I didn’t understand these people. They hated me. I wasn’t family anymore. Shouldn’t they be happy I’m leaving? In the end, I stayed temporarily. My old master bedroom was now Ryan’s. I was put in the nanny’s room I never used to step foot in. I had no complaints and went to bed early. Even in the soft bed, nightmares found me. Dreams of the humiliation in the hospital. Those terrifying people tearing at my clothes, ignoring my screams. I begged, telling them my powerful family and fiancée wouldn’t let them get away with it! But my resistance only excited them more. They laughed at my delusion. Laughed that I still thought I was the Lu young master. They called me stupid. Because everything I suffered was permitted by the Lu family and Grace! I woke up screaming, drenched in cold sweat.

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After breaking up with Julian, I found out I was three months pregnant. I raised my daughter, Bella, alone for five years. But working three jobs took its toll, and a sudden brain aneurysm took my life. I found myself floating in mid-air. Suddenly, I saw him. Julian, now a famous movie star. Knocking on my front door. 1 It took a long time for the door to open. “Who are you?” It was my daughter, Bella. She had to stand on her tiptoes for ages just to reach the lock. Her eyes were guarded as she looked at my ex-boyfriend, her biological father, Julian Rivers. Seeing it wasn’t me, Bella immediately tried to close the door. Julian held it open. Frowning, he asked, “Where is Chloe?” Bella thought for a moment, then looked up with a bright smile. “You’re looking for my mommy? She’s not home.” “She’s working.” Julian’s face fell. He asked again, “Where’s your dad?” [It’s you! You’re her dad!] I shouted desperately from mid-air, but he couldn’t hear me. Bella thought about it. “My daddy is far away making big money. Mommy says when he makes enough, he’ll come pick us up.” Julian’s brow furrowed deep. Suddenly, he let out a self-deprecating laugh. He muttered to himself. “Ha, I must be crazy to think you’d wait for me.” With that, he turned to leave. Then he paused. He asked for Bella’s full name. “Bella Cloud.” “Mommy says I’m her beautiful little cloud, so I’m Bella.” Bella said it with such pride. Julian searched her face. Seeming to look for some kind of proof. But in the end, he said nothing. He stepped into his stretch limo. I watched the car drive away, screaming. [Don’t go, Julian! If you leave, what will happen to our Bella?] [She’s only five. How will she survive alone?] I turned to my daughter, who was blinking at the dust left by the car, and tried to coax her. [Bella, baby, run after him! Mommy isn’t here anymore, only he can take care of you now.] But Bella couldn’t hear me either. She just said, “What a weird uncle.” And closed the door. At that moment, I wanted to slap myself hard. Why didn’t I tell Bella who her father was sooner? Why didn’t I show her a picture of him? This is all my fault. It doesn’t matter that I’m dead. But what about my daughter? 2 Bella swung her little legs, waiting for me to come home. The sunset faded. The sky grew dark and heavy. Normally, I would be home by now. Because Bella is afraid of the dark. But I was already dead. My coworker had just received the notice at the hospital that resuscitation failed. She needed to notify my family. But when she unlocked my phone, she found my emergency contacts list empty. However, they knew I had a child. So, that night, the home phone rang. Bella ran towards the phone on her short legs. “Hello?” The稚嫩 (childish/tender) voice made my coworker tear up. She didn’t know how to tell a little girl her mother was dead. And would never come back. “Is that Mommy?” Bella’s voice was full of excitement. “Are you working late again? It’s okay, Bella is fine, not hungry at all. I just ate the bread Mommy bought.” She patted her round little tummy. “Bella, your mommy… she just passed away.” Bella asked confusedly: “Passed away? Where did she go? But it’s okay, Mommy will definitely take me with her.” Once, due to work, I had to go to a neighboring state. Unwilling to leave Bella alone, I took her with me. It was Bella’s first long trip. Sitting on the train, she pointed at the scenery outside, so excited. So now, Bella thought I just went on a business trip somewhere. Hearing this, my coworker sighed. She didn’t know what else to say. She could only hang up. Finally, representing the company, she sent my body for cremation. I was left as nothing but a jar of ashes. 3 That night felt incredibly long. It was also the first time I didn’t come home. Every so often, Bella would run to the door to see if I was there. But soon, scared by the dark, she’d run back. She ran back and forth many times. Until she couldn’t fight the sleepiness. Finally, hugging the teddy bear I bought her, she fell asleep. Dawn broke, a rooster crowed. She woke with a start. And ran urgently to the door again. Seeing I still hadn’t returned, disappointment flashed across her face. But soon, she comforted herself. “It’s okay, Mommy is just too busy. She’ll be back soon.” Having eaten nothing all night, Bella’s stomach rumbled. She could only eat the bread I bought to fill her belly. She opened a carton of milk I bought. Copying me, she tried to heat some water to warm the milk. “Mommy says don’t drink cold milk, or I’ll get a tummy ache.” Bella talked to herself while carrying a pot full of water. But her hands were so small, how could she carry it? I was frantic, telling her to stop. But I was helpless. Standing on a stool, just as Bella was about to put the pot on the stove, her strength gave out. Water splashed everywhere. The pot smashed onto her tiny foot. Instantly, it swelled up. My heart felt like it was being carved by a knife. But I was relieved it wasn’t boiling water. Bella sobbed quietly. Soon she hugged her foot, blowing on it. “Mommy isn’t here, Bella will blow on it herself, pain pain go away.” She wiped her tears. Moved a stool. Sat in the living room, staring unblinkingly at the door. “Bella won’t cry. When Mommy comes back, she’ll say Bella is brave.” Bella is so good, so sensible. Sensible enough to break my heart. How I wished she would resent me, blame me for being a bad mother. But she just waited obediently for my return. 4 Two hours later. A car stopped in front of our house. My coworker knocked on the door. Bella was thrilled, thinking it was me. She ran fast. But tripped accidentally. A sharp rock cut her shin. But she just frowned, got up quickly. Opened the door. Seeing it wasn’t me, her emotions finally collapsed. She wailed loudly. “Mommy, why isn’t Mommy back yet?” “Bella’s foot is swollen, leg hurts, Bella has been so brave.” “But Mommy still isn’t back. Does Mommy not care about Bella anymore?” “Does Mommy not love me?” Bella cried her heart out. Listening, my heart shattered into pieces. … My coworker rushed to comfort her. Found the first aid kit and disinfected Bella’s leg with alcohol, putting on a Band-Aid. After settling everything, my coworker brought in my urn and my belongings from the company. Bella didn’t understand. But seeing a photo of us at the amusement park taken not long ago, where I was hugging her and we were both laughing happily, she recognized me. She asked: “Sister, are these all my mommy’s things? Where is my mommy?” My coworker held back tears. Pointed at the jar. “Your mommy is inside here. If you miss her, hug it and talk to it.” Bella shook her head. “How can Mommy turn into a jar? She’s not the Monkey King, only he can shapeshift. You’re lying.” She hugged my photo instead. “This is my mommy.” She kissed the photo. And smiled sweetly. My coworker sighed and placed my urn on a high shelf. Then she looked around. Asked: “Where’s your dad? Are you the only one home?” Bella lowered her head. “Mommy said Daddy went far away to make money. I’ve never seen him.” My coworker couldn’t believe it. “Do you have any other family? Grandparents?” Bella shook her head. My coworker couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and hugged her. “Poor child.” “You’re so small, how could your mom bear to leave you alone.” Bella retorted. “Mommy wouldn’t leave me. Mommy loves Bella the most.” My coworker put a bank card in Bella’s hand. “This is the compensation money from the company for your mom. There’s twenty thousand dollars in here. The password is six 8s. Keep it safe. Don’t lose it.” Bella nodded seriously. Clutching the card tightly. Because we were poor, I taught Bella from a young age that money is good and must be kept safe. Now, she took it to heart. After thinking it over, my coworker called the local Child Protective Services. That place was for homeless children like her. I was filled with gratitude. I bowed to my coworker in the air. [Thank you.] If she goes to an orphanage, at least my Bella can survive.

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