In the fifth year of my marriage to James Carson, a shadow fell over my once-comfortable life. A young, beautiful assistant appeared by his side, her presence like an unspoken threat, unraveling everything I had built. But that was nothing compared to the cruel twist of fate that awaited me—I had entered the final countdown of my life. I was dying. I had to seek revenge. Life is full of regrets, and I simply had more than most. Leaving the doctor’s office, I took a picture of my medical report and sent it to James. His reply came quickly. “Baby, I have a business trip today, so I’ll be home late. Get some rest early.” He didn’t even glance at the report I sent him. Remembering the doctor’s words, I wanted to cry, to let it all out, but realized I had forgotten how to cry. “The situation isn’t good. You should be admitted for treatment… at most, six months.” The doctor’s words felt like a verdict, freezing my life at age 25.
James didn’t come home that night. Six months ago, I found out he had a “canary” — a girl he was hiding in an apartment right across from Carson Corp. Tower. He thought I didn’t know about his affair, but his little canary was far from subtle, flaunting her “perfect” life all over Instagram, almost daring me to notice. It all started when an unknown number added me on WhatsApp, claiming to be Lily Moore, James’s assistant. I rarely left the house and barely contacted anyone from his work. I didn’t even have the phone number of James’s long-time secretary. So, an assistant having my contact? That was suspicious on its own. As expected, Lily’s Instagram was full of photos with James—traveling together, skiing together, having dinner together… None of them were overly intimate, but the chemistry was palpable in every shot. Afterward, I ordered all my favorite dishes for myself, indulging in the feast alone. Was I heartbroken? Maybe once, but my body couldn’t afford the luxury of dwelling on meaningless heartbreak. “Madam, shall I make you some soup for nourishment?” Mrs. Turner, who had cared for me for years, looked at me with concern as I devoured the meal. “No, thank you. I just want to enjoy a good meal. One won’t hurt.” I gave Mrs. Turner a six-month leave, with full pay. I’m an odd person—I crave attention, but when it’s given, I never know how to handle it. At the end of my life, I just wanted to slip away quietly, alone.
“Baby, wake up. I made breakfast. Have some before you go back to sleep.” James always had this way of being gentle, like he could melt you with his touch, no matter how high the walls around your heart were. “When did you get back?” I masked all my thoughts and spoke to him as usual. “Got home at six this morning. Where’s Mrs. Turner? Did she take the day off?” He laid out my clothes and tidied the bed with care. He followed me into the bathroom, squeezing toothpaste onto my brush while I got ready. After my shower, he was waiting with a towel to dry me off, even blow-drying my hair. Could a man this attentive really be unfaithful? I had asked myself this question countless times. “Mrs. Turner had some personal matters, so I gave her a six-month break.” “Should we hire another caretaker? I don’t like the idea of you being home alone.” James’s eyes never left me, his gaze soft and tender, pulling me in. But the faint scent of women’s perfume lingering in the air reminded me of just how deceptive James had become. “No need. It’s only for six months. I was thinking of traveling to Europe anyway.” “Europe? Is your health up for that? What did the doctors say yesterday?” James’s worry seemed genuine as he took my hand and kept asking. His concern wasn’t fake. I searched his face for any signs of pretense, but I found none. Could love be this well acted? “The results are the same. But you know how much I’ve always wanted to see Europe—castles, scenery, it’ll do me good.” “Alright, baby. I’m sorry I can’t go with you, I’m just too busy. Take lots of photos, okay? And please, hire a caretaker to look after you.” James visibly relaxed as he said this. “Yeah, I will.” James kept talking as I quietly ate breakfast, saying little in return. I was too scared to slip, too afraid I might blurt out the truth, afraid I’d lose the last bit of composure I had. When I first discovered his affair, I had already thought of revenge. Divorce? I didn’t have time for that. I wasn’t going to waste what was left of my life on something so pointless. Whether I divorced him or not didn’t change a thing. Who cares what you’re called after you’re gone? No, the only thing I could do was ruin his reputation, make the scandal explode. That seemed to be the only power I still held. With James, he always did most of the talking. Maybe it had to do with my upbringing—I wasn’t much of a talker, but I loved listening to him. I never went to school, so James hired a tutor just for me. Back then, after his classes, he’d run over to my house, grade my homework, and go over my progress. He would ramble on about everything that happened at school—who got bullied, who was annoying, who tattled on someone. With him around, my life seemed so full. Even now, after work, he would recount his entire day, tell me what he ate, what meetings he attended, who he met, and even send me videos and pictures. It was this James Carson that made me believe in our love for so long. “Baby, guess what this is?” James slid an elegantly wrapped box toward me. “What is it? A gift?” In that moment, I forgot about his affair, instinctively reacting with curiosity, wondering what was inside. I opened the box—it was an evening gown designed by James himself. Light green, my favorite color. A color full of life. I didn’t go out much, and my skin was pale. James used to say that when I wore green, I looked like a little fawn in the woods. I put on the dress, did a simple makeup look, and called a photography team to the house to take tons of beautiful photos. James was in some of the pictures too. Today, James didn’t leave the house. We spent the day painting and watching movies together. It felt like we had gone back to the way things used to be. We had endless conversations and shared so much. That night, after my shower, I found James waiting for me in bed. I hesitated for a moment, thinking of what the private investigator had uncovered. James and Lily hadn’t taken things that far yet. Just for tonight—one last night with the man who had once loved me so deeply. Because of my health, we hadn’t been intimate much. But that night, James held me close, his gentle kisses falling all over me. I had always restrained myself, wanting to live longer, but tonight I indulged. It was a goodbye, a final release. Afterward, James carefully cleaned me up, holding me as we fell asleep. “James.” I wanted to ask him about Lily. “Hmm? What is it, baby? Are you uncomfortable? Let me massage you.” His large hand rested on my lower back, gently kneading. He was so tender. I couldn’t understand it anymore. “James, if you don’t love me anymore, please tell me. I’ll leave without making a fuss.” In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to ask him about the affair. Maybe I didn’t want to lose this last moment of tenderness. “Anna, I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s been over ten years, and nothing’s changed. Wherever you are, that’s where my home is. I can’t even imagine my life without you.” James held me tighter. That night, I didn’t sleep well. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating James’s face. At 30, he still looked young, but his features were more defined than before. Tracing the contours of his face, I mentally said goodbye to my youth. Back when I used to read novels, whenever I came across stories of men cheating, I’d wonder how I’d react if my own husband did the same. Would I lose my mind? Would I become hysterical, unable to let go? But in reality, from the moment I found out about James’s affair, I was calm. No anger, no drama. It felt like all the energy had been drained out of me. All I wanted was to get away from this place.
James was supposed to take me to the airport, but he left after taking a phone call. I found a seat by the window, watching the bustling crowds when a young woman approached me. I had never seen her before, but I knew instantly who she was—Lily Moore, James’s little “canary.” Lily reached out her hand. “Hi, I’m Lily Moore. I’d like to talk to you about James.” I didn’t shake her hand. I didn’t have the strength, and frankly, the thought of touching her made me feel dirty. I turned on the voice recorder on my phone and motioned for her to sit across from me. “Go ahead, have a seat. I have a flight to catch, so you’ve got twenty minutes.” I studied the young girl closely—pretty, cute, radiating youth. It wasn’t hard to see why James liked her. Hell, even I could see the appeal. Years of medication had left me feeling like an old woman. “Anna Stevens, you know I’m with James now. Why haven’t you divorced him? He says he doesn’t love you. A loveless, sexless marriage—what’s the point?” Too young, too bold. She ruined her pretty face the moment she opened her mouth. “You’re the third woman to come to me with this story. All of you say James doesn’t love me, that you’re his one true love, and all of you beg me to leave him. If you’re so close to him, why not ask James to divorce me instead?” Lily’s face flashed with disbelief, but she quickly tried to regain her composure. “James is an adult. He can decide for himself whether he loves you or not, and if he wants to stay with you.” “You’re lying. James is with me all the time. There’s no way he’s seeing anyone else.” I wasn’t lying, though. Back in college, there was a girl who came to me, asking me to let James go. After James started at Carson Corp., another woman, arranged by his parents, tried to get between us. And now Lily Moore was the third. “James tells me the same thing—that he only loves me, that there’s no one else. Now, who should I believe?” I found a strange sense of amusement in this, watching Lily’s expressions shift from shock to anger. It was entertaining, really. “You’re doing this on purpose. You refuse to divorce him so that our relationship can’t be public. Well, you won’t win.” She spat out her words and instinctively placed a protective hand over her stomach. Was this supposed to provoke me? I knew for a fact James hadn’t slept with her yet, so whose baby was she carrying? “You’re here because James wouldn’t agree to divorce me, aren’t you? I bet you’ve cried, screamed, done everything to try and hold onto him. That’s why you got pregnant, right?” “But Miss Moore, you seem to have forgotten—people in our circle keep mistresses all the time. Don’t like one? They’ll just find another. It’s cleaner than hiring a prostitute, and they don’t have to worry about catching something.” Watching Lily’s face darken brought a surprising sense of relief to my troubled mind. “But none of these canaries ever make it into the house.” I looked her over, carefully evaluating the young woman sitting before me. “You know why?” I pointed at her head. “Because they’re too stupid. Beautiful, stupid toys you can play with, but no man in his right mind would bring one home to ruin the family.” The display of emotions on her face was truly fascinating. “James told me you can’t have children. The Carson family would never let you keep the title of Mrs. Carson. You’re going to be thrown out sooner or later.” Her voice shook with rage. “With today’s technology, James and I could have a child whenever we want. We could even select the best genes for the smartest baby. If you want to trade your womb for your future, that’s your business. But I doubt any illegitimate child of yours will ever enter the Carson home.” She wasn’t wrong—I couldn’t have children. But when we got married, we had agreed to use surrogacy by the time I turned 30. “Oh, by the way, are you sure the baby’s James’s? You can do a DNA test at three months, you know.” “You…!” Lily trembled with anger and stormed off in a huff. So, the baby wasn’t James’s after all. Still too young, not nearly enough experience to stand her ground. I saved the voice recording on my phone and went over to the airport café to request footage from their security cameras. If I was going to fight back, I needed to do it right.
I made it to Switzerland and got in touch with one of the few friends I had left. “This hospice is really nice. It’s close to my house, and aside from being a bit pricey, it’s perfect.” Chloe Davis hadn’t changed one bit. “Anna, are you really not planning to return to New York?” Chloe didn’t understand my choice. Chloe had immigrated to escape her family’s burdens, but she still had a house in the city and had even bought a burial plot. She always said she couldn’t die abroad. I smiled, reaching out to ruffle her hair like I used to when we were kids. Still soft and fluffy. “You know there’s no one left in New York for me to see. Just like you, leaving was the only way to truly live.” “What about you and James…?” She trailed off, unsure how to continue. Chloe wasn’t stupid. She could easily piece together what had happened—when someone dying of a terminal illness chooses not to come home, it doesn’t take much to figure out why. “He cheated. His mistress is pregnant. I’m not even sure if it’s his, but they’ve been involved for months. I ran into her just before my flight.” I didn’t know how I managed to say these words out loud. Once, the idea of exposing my wounds terrified me. But now, I could say it with ease. “Anna, you stay here and rest. I’ve taken a long leave from work. I’ll be here with you.” Chloe pulled me into her arms. Had she started working out? Her embrace felt so strong, so warm.
I rested for two days, mostly because my body couldn’t handle much more than that. I had started eating less—more of what I put in was coming back out. I was relying on IVs to keep me alive. Meanwhile, I contacted a hacker and the private investigator back home. “What’s the latest update?” I asked the investigator I had hired after discovering James’s affair. “We’ve been following them closely. I’ve sent all the footage to your email. Oh, and there’s some drama—Miss Moore caused a scene at the Carson home, throwing a fit because of the pregnancy.” “Upload everything. All the evidence, especially the videos. Make sure it goes viral—buy trending spots, pay social media trolls, whatever it takes to keep it in the public eye for at least a week. Don’t worry about the cost. I’m dying; how much more can I really spend?” “Miss Stevens, there’s also an audio recording. Would you like to hear it?” The investigator’s normally casual tone had turned serious. “Send it to my email.” Curiosity won out in the end. I knew it wouldn’t be anything good, but I still wanted to listen.
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