I waited five years for my boyfriend to finally complete his mission and retire from the Special Forces, ready to come back and marry me. But then I found thirty-six farewell letters among his personal belongings. These letters were all written before he went abroad to carry out counter-terrorism missions, filled with his longing for the one he loved—but that person wasn’t me. Clutching my pregnancy test report with a shattered heart, I came to the snowy mountain peak, only to see him—always so proud—kneeling before Lillian Reed. “Lillian, give me a chance to redeem myself. If you’re willing, I’ll marry you right away.” His eyes were full of affection, his tone pleading. I tore up the pregnancy test report and scattered it across the snow mountain, deciding to leave. But on the day I ran from the wedding, he lost his mind. At the peak of a snow mountain 15,360 feet above sea level, I witnessed my boyfriend of seven years propose to someone else among the crowd. Adrian Cross, usually so cold and aloof, knelt on one knee. He held out a diamond ring, and the scene overlapped with the proposal I’d imagined he’d promised me. “Lily, I’ve thought about you every single day during these five years we’ve been apart. Will you marry me?” “If not for yourself, then for our child.” Amid the grating cheers and screams from passersby, Lillian Reed slowly extended her left hand. And just like that, the ring I’d waited five years for slipped onto her finger. Adrian stood up and pulled Lillian into his arms with trembling hands, then kissed her. As tenderly as if she were some priceless treasure. I clutched the crumpled pregnancy test in my hand, my heart feeling as though a blade had been driven through it. I turned and walked away, tearing up the test results as I went, scattering the pieces down the mountainside. Five years ago, Adrian told me he’d been selected by the organization to go to war-torn Country A to carry out counter-terrorism missions. He knelt before me, his expression pleading: “Luna, will you wait for me? Once the mission is over, I’ll come back and marry you.” Because of those words, I waited for him for five whole years, turning down any interest from other men. But now, my five years and the child in my womb had become nothing but a joke. On my way down the mountain, I ran into Adrian and Lillian again. Lillian rubbed her belly and huffed indignantly: “Adrian, after what Luna did to me back then, you have to help me get even with her!” Adrian smiled and asked: “What do you want to do?” “If you really want to marry me, then run away on the day of your wedding to her!” I hid nearby, clutching my swollen, aching foot, waiting for Adrian’s answer. We’d known each other for ten years, and he’d always been righteous, upstanding, and noble. I was curious which he would choose—morality or Lillian. “Alright, I promise.” Adrian’s cool voice drifted over. All the blood in my body seemed to freeze in an instant. Lillian giggled and collapsed into his arms: “Really? Aren’t you afraid she’ll be angry?” Adrian affectionately tapped her nose: “She’ll be angry, sure, but I risked my life to save hers once. If it weren’t for me, she’d be dead already.” “Running away from one wedding—she won’t say anything about it.” The injury on my leg suddenly flared with pain. I have an old injury in my right leg. Whenever I’m in cold places or during rainy seasons, it hurts unbearably. But to hear Adrian’s explanation with my own ears, I’d dragged this damaged leg up more than 13,000 feet of snowy mountain. My hometown is in a flat plains region. Between my leg injury and altitude sickness, I felt absolutely miserable. Still, I stubbornly needed an answer. I took a deep breath, forced down the pain in my chest, and made a phone call. “Hello, Mom? I miss you so much. Can I come visit?” My mother was stunned for a long moment before she responded. She quickly said: “Of course you can, Luna. Your room has always been ready for you.” “But…” She hesitated: “Aren’t you about to marry Adrian?” “If you come now, what about the wedding?” I paused. After all, Adrian was the one who saved my life. I didn’t want to tell my mother about his affair—I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle it. So I lied: “There’s no rush. Getting married is complicated, and we’re not ready yet. Besides, we haven’t seen each other in so long—don’t you miss me?” “Miss you, miss you so much.” My mother said joyfully: “Then Mom will wait for you.” After hanging up, thinking about these past seven years, I couldn’t help but curse myself for being so stupid. If I hadn’t seen those thirty-six farewell letters filled with Adrian’s love for Lillian, I might have still thought I’d won. On the way to the snow mountain, I kept telling myself it was fake, just a misunderstanding. After all, he’d once loved me so much he’d nearly died for me—how could he betray me? Until I saw Adrian propose to Lillian—the same Lillian who’d nearly gotten my entire family killed. He was even willing to publicly humiliate me for her sake. My thoughts were in chaos, and with my leg injury, I didn’t notice my footing and tumbled down the mountainside. At that exact moment, Adrian called me. “Luna, I’ll be back a bit late today, you—” Adrian stopped. The next second, his tone turned urgent: “Luna, why is it so noisy on your end? Where are you?”
I lay in the freezing snow, clutching my stomach, my face twisted in pain. When I didn’t respond, Adrian grew more anxious: “Say something, Luna!” My voice trembled: “I… I fell down the mountain.” “Which mountain?” “The one you know.” Adrian suddenly went silent. After a long pause, he asked: “Luna, why did you suddenly come here?” His tone couldn’t hide his guilt. I laughed, my eyes full of sarcasm. “Because five years ago you promised me you’d propose to me at the mountain peak. Now that you’re back, I wanted to familiarize myself with it in advance.” “I see.” Adrian let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief, then immediately said: “Luna, wait for me. I’m coming right now.” By the time Adrian finally found me with Lillian in tow, I’d already been taken down the mountain by helpful bystanders to the emergency aid station. I lay in the hospital bed, looking at Lillian hiding behind Adrian and asking pointedly: “Why is she here?” Since he was planning to dump me anyway, was Adrian not even bothering to pretend anymore? Adrian said somewhat guiltily: “We just happened to run into each other. When she heard you’d had an accident, she wanted to come see you with me.” I laughed coldly and pointed out the window toward the distance, in the direction of the cemetery. “My brother is still buried there. How does she have the face to come here?” At my words, Lillian’s eyes immediately reddened. She pulled on Adrian’s sleeve, her voice plaintive: “Adrian.” Adrian patted the back of her hand soothingly, then turned around and self-righteously accused me. “Luna, Lillian came here out of kindness to see you, but you’re being so aggressive. Is this how your parents raised you? Apologize!” Lillian sobbed quietly to me: “Luna, I know you’ve resented me ever since what happened six years ago. Not only did I cause your brother’s death, I also left you with a permanent disability in your right leg.” “But I’ve always regretted it. I really know I was wrong. Please, for the sake of us once being best friends, can you forgive me?” Adrian watched Lillian’s aggrieved tears and couldn’t help but want to raise his hand to wipe them away. But when his peripheral vision caught me, he could only stiffly lower his hand. Seeing I remained unmoved, he quickly gave me a look, signaling for some kind of response. “Ha.” I let out a cold laugh and looked at Adrian. Even though I already knew he’d betrayed me, I still couldn’t control my reddening eyes: “Do you think I should forgive her?” Adrian sighed: “Luna, what happened back then was definitely Lillian’s fault. But she was just confused for a moment—the main responsibility doesn’t lie with her.” Momentarily confused? I only felt how laughably stupid I was. Back then, her father wanted to sell her to an old man as a wife. I felt sorry for her and begged my parents to take her in. My family treated her like their own daughter in terms of food, clothing, and expenses, never showing any favoritism. Whatever I had, she had too. But she colluded with criminals to sell out my brother. My brother was an undercover police officer. Six years ago, he’d infiltrated a criminal organization to collect evidence. Just as he was about to gather all the proof and close the net, his identity was suddenly exposed. The investigation revealed that Lillian had overheard my brother’s call with his superior and sold that conversation to the criminals for a hundred thousand dollars. And she wanted that money simply because she thought she wasn’t pretty enough and wanted plastic surgery. Because the information leaked, our entire family was targeted for revenge by the criminals. To protect me, my brother was blown to pieces by a bomb. Though I barely survived, my right foot was crippled. Even after recovery, I’d always walk with a slight limp. Thinking of this, I shook off his hand forcefully, my eyes full of a strangeness I’d never shown before, as if I’d never truly seen him for who he was. “Adrian, it wasn’t your family who died, it wasn’t your right foot that was ruined. What right do you have to tell me to forgive her?” “She didn’t do it with her own hands, true—but if it weren’t for her, would any of this have happened?” When I was kidnapped by the criminals, it was indeed Adrian who’d risked his life to save me. At seventeen, he’d fought hand-to-hand with the criminals and spent seven days in the ICU before he was saved. But I couldn’t use his life-saving grace as an excuse to tolerate everything without limits. Adrian’s face darkened. Stung by my unfamiliar gaze, he said angrily: “Luna, you bear half the responsibility for Lillian’s mistakes.” “You did help her, but when you were being kind, you didn’t consider her self-esteem because of your privileged background. That’s what twisted her psychology and made her do wrong.” “When she had no money for food, why did you give her money directly? You should have secretly helped her in other ways without letting her notice, protecting her dignity.” “If you’d considered Lillian’s feelings more back then, would things have turned out this way?” And in Lillian’s tear-filled eyes, there was now nothing but provocation. Where Adrian couldn’t see, she raised her middle finger toward the direction where my brother was buried. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the water glass from the table and threw it at them. “Get out! Both of you!”
I gripped the blanket tightly to keep myself from crying. Adrian had completely lost his patience too. His tone was irritable: “Luna, it’s been five years since this happened. No matter how deep the hatred, it’s time to let it go.” “Lillian has already paid for her mistakes. Why can’t you be more magnanimous and make peace? Do you have to drive her to death before you’re satisfied?” I looked at Adrian and found him terrifyingly unfamiliar. Back when I was kidnapped, he’d personally watched me kneel on the ground, holding my brother’s shattered body, sobbing in complete breakdown. To make Lillian pay, he’d hired the best lawyer and sent the then-underage Lillian to prison for five years. But now, he was telling me to let it go. I gave a bitter smile. “Even if Lillian killed herself in atonement, her worthless life wouldn’t make up for the sins she committed. Because of her, it wasn’t just my brother who died—many police officers on that mission were killed too.” “Adrian, do you know how many officers died in that operation? Thirty-one! Thirty-one people!” My eyes were bloodshot: “Someone like her should go to hell!” Adrian clenched his fists, his breathing ragged, clearly struggling to restrain himself. Just like when he’d ignored police orders and rushed forward to try to strangle the already-handcuffed Lillian. Adrian took a deep breath and said slowly: “I know losing your family was painful. But think about it—Lillian has had it so much worse than you. Her parents and brother never loved her, but you—at least your family loved you.” “Lillian causing your family’s deaths was wrong. But you insulting her today is also wrong. She apologized for what happened to your family, so you should apologize to her too.” “If you’re really this heartless, then everything you suffered—losing your family—is what you deserve!” I looked up at him in disbelief. Six years ago, many people blamed me for what happened, saying I deserved it. Out of guilt, I developed severe depression. When I used a razor blade to cut my wrists, it was Adrian who’d snatched the blade from my hand, letting his own hand get sliced until it bled profusely. He’d held me tightly and said it wasn’t my fault, that from then on he’d protect me in my brother’s place. But now, he’d become like those people, saying everything I’d suffered was my own fault, that I deserved it. Because of the heartache, I didn’t even realize I was bleeding until I felt warmth beneath me and knew I was miscarrying. The white bed sheet was instantly stained red, but Adrian remained completely oblivious. He continued his relentless lecture. Until I clutched my stomach, my face deathly pale, and said: “Hospital… take me to the hospital.” Adrian frowned: “I say two words to you and you start faking being sick again.” Just then, Adrian suddenly noticed the blood on the bed. He froze, then tremblingly lifted my blanket. When he saw what was underneath, he let out a sigh of relief. “I thought something serious happened. Turns out the bandage on your foot just came loose.” Adrian had only lifted the blanket casually, and with the bandage on my right foot having just split open, he mistook the blood for coming from that wound. “Wait here, I’ll get you a doctor.” Adrian was about to leave when Lillian suddenly stumbled after seeing the blood on the bed. Adrian quickly caught her, his tone anxious: “What’s wrong?” Lillian leaned against him, her voice weak: “Ever since what happened six years ago, I’ve been afraid of anything bloody. Whenever I see blood I get dizzy. My therapist says it’s psychological trauma.” She cried until her face was covered in tears, and before Adrian could react, she fainted. “Lily, wake up! Don’t scare me!” Adrian immediately gathered Lillian in his arms, his voice urgent, his eyes full of concern. Adrian had always been steady. Six years ago, before he’d even joined the Special Forces, he’d dared to infiltrate the criminals’ hideout alone to save me. But after just six years, he was holding Lillian and leaving—just like he’d once held me. I lay in the bed, feeling the pain from my abdomen. In the emergency room, a nurse called my emergency contact. But after seven consecutive calls went unanswered, Adrian finally sent me a message after the seventh attempt. “Reflect on yourself.” Then he turned off his phone. I said to the doctor: “If this child can’t be saved, don’t force it.” When I came out of surgery, touching my abdomen that no longer held life, I booked a ticket to France.
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