Ninety-nine days after our brutal split, and I was still drowning. Staring at the wreckage Luke left in my apartment, I decided it was time to purge it all. I headed downstairs for moving boxes and passed a new massage place. A guy with a killer smile handed me a flyer. “Grand opening! 20% off!” My body had been a stiff, comatose mess for weeks. Why not? His hands were professional, finding every knot and tense spot. The pain brought tears to my eyes.. Then My phone buzzed. It was Luke. The ex who’d ghosted me the day we broke up. “I think I left my belt at your place. Can you find it for me?” Blunt, to the point, no sugar-coating. I took a deep breath. “I threw it out.” “Come on, Aubrey. Throw out whatever else, but that belt… Chloe gave it to me…” The words choked me, my body shaking with a wave of anger. The cute masseur noticed my tension. “Relax,” he murmured. “Lift your leg.” “Mm-hmm…” Luke’s roar blasted through the phone. “Aubrey, what the hell are you doing?! We just broke up!” My face burned. Right before I hung up, the masseur’s hand pressed hard into a sensitive point on my lower leg. “Ow! That hurts! Easy, please…”
“Aubrey! What are you doing?!” I slammed my phone face-down, silencing Luke’s roar. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to lose myself in the massage, but the tears came anyway, disobedient and hot. Seven years. This is how it ended. Anyone who said it didn’t hurt was a liar. Later, standing at my own door with a stack of empty boxes, I took a deep, steadying breath. It was time. I hardened my resolve and stepped inside to pack away Luke’s relics. I had just tossed one box aside when the keypad at the front door beeped. “Unlocked.” The door flew open. Luke stood there, chest heaving. “Where is he?” “Who?” “The guy you were just with! He sounded young, too, didn’t he? Aubrey, are you that desperate?” As his wild eyes scanned the room, a cold dread filled my stomach. So that’s why he’d come. Because of a sound. “Are you here on a raid?” His silence was confirmation. I scoffed. “We’re broken up. You have no right to be here. And more importantly, does Chloe know you’re here?” Luke seemed to calm. His eyes swept over me. “Who said I’m here to catch you in the act?” He jutted out his chin, extending his hand. “My belt. Hand it over!” I didn’t move. My attention was locked on the lipstick near his feet. That was the first gift he ever gave me. I remembered the first weekend after we started dating. We’d planned a trip to the beach. It was our first trip together. It was also the first time I met Chloe. Chloe was Luke’s longtime family friend, practically a sister. On the train, claimed the middle seat between Luke and me. “Aubrey, I just love the middle seat! You don’t mind, right?” She then grinned. “Oh, and Luke said you’re paying for everything! Your family must be loaded.” I forced a smile, shooting a pained look at Luke. He just turned away, offering no defense. Back then, I was too hopelessly in love to stay mad at him. Our first trip, and I was already seething because of his “sister.” Later, he appeased me with a cheap lipstick. The very one now at his feet. The memory sent a wave of fury through me. “I told you, I threw it out. Try the dumpster.” I shoved Luke away, picked up the lipstick from the floor, and tossed it into a packing box. “You’re throwing that out too?” Luke stared, utterly stunned. “That was my gift!” I pointed at the still-sealed tube and smiled coldly.”An $18.80 lipstick with free shipping, Luke? I wouldn’t dare use it. I’m pretty sure it’s toxic.” Luke’s face immediately darkened, a chaotic mix of embarrassment, fury, and a pathetic attempt at disdain. “You’re not still thinking I bought you that lipstick just because it was cheap, are you?” “I explained it to you! I bought you a designer one later! You forgave me back then, didn’t you?” I just stared at him. When I first got the lipstick, I told myself the same lies. Guys just don’t get all the nuances of makeup, they’re too simple-minded, too lazy to pick out anything good… It wasn’t until months later, when I scrolled past Chloe’s Ins feed and saw picture after picture of her with designer lipsticks Luke had given her, that my defenses completely crumbled. That was the first time Luke and I had a real fight. I hysterically accused Chloe, criticizing all his boundary-crossing behavior with her. Luke just sat there, silently watching me lose my mind, watching me cry non-stop. It wasn’t until I quieted down that he finally spoke. “Aubrey, I honestly didn’t know there was so much to a lipstick. Chloe just picked it out herself and asked me to pay!” “There’s nothing going on between Chloe and me, you know that. Why would I be with you if there was?” “How about this, you pick one too, and I’ll buy it for you!” Just like that, I was placated. I picked out one more expensive than Chloe’s, but now I had no idea where it even was. “I forgave you then. Now we’re broken up. Can’t I just throw it out?” Luke jabbed a finger toward my face. “Aubrey, you’d better not come crawling back to me, begging to get back together, because I-” “I won’t.” I cut him off. The words he hadn’t spoken died in his throat.
In the 99 days since we broke up, this was the first time I felt so resolute. Just a second before Luke walked in, I was still picturing him begging for me back. Or maybe, I’d be the one, unable to hold on, begging him to come back, just like before. But in this very second, I knew there was no possibility for us. Luke looked into our bedroom. It was a mess. The floor was practically buried under all his stuff, all our stuff. That lunchbox on the very top shelf of the kitchen cabinet once held all my burning love for Luke. Luke stormed over, grabbed it, and smashed it to the floor. Bang! It shattered into pieces. “You think I ate all those breakfast burritos you waited in line for every morning freshman year?” “Let me tell you, I never even liked those breakfast burritos. Chloe did!” “Every single time, I gave them to her behind your back!” “How about that? Does that make you mad?” Luke pointed at the broken lunchbox on the floor, his brow furrowed in anger, veins bulging on his neck as he spoke. I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t crying. I merely shot Luke a deadpan look, then squatted down, picking up the pieces and tossing them into a packing box. “Do you know why I stopped bringing you breakfast after that?” My calm tone and detached demeanor made Luke’s hand, hanging by his side, tremble slightly. I still remember that freezing winter morning freshman year. I’d just left the main cafeteria after waiting in line and found it was pouring rain, but I didn’t have an umbrella. So I called Luke. He didn’t answer for a long time, until a loud commotion erupted. “Luke?” “Hello? Luke?” There was no answer on the other end, and I was about to hang up and redial. “Luke, it’s pouring out. Your girlfriend isn’t still standing in line for your breakfast burrito, is she?” I heard Luke’s roommate’s voice, tinged with a teasing note. “If she knew those burritos were all for Chloe, she’d probably lose her mind!” “It’s not like I’m forcing her to buy them.” “Besides, what’s the difference if I eat them or Chloe eats them?” “She…” Luke’s casual voice rang out, tinged with a bit of sleepiness. I couldn’t bring myself to listen to the rest. The moment I hung up, the burritos in my hand suddenly felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. The rain beat down on my face, stinging and cold. I walked back to the dorms through the downpour and came down with a high fever. Luke called me countless times, but I missed every single one. From then on, I never brought Luke breakfast again. Every time Luke brought it up, I would lightly brush it aside. Back then, I was so blindly in love, I convinced myself none of it mattered. I thought I could swallow all the hurt, but deep down, I knew I never really did. It stuck in my throat, refusing to dissolve for years. I walked into the bedroom and threw all the photos we’d taken together into a box. Luke looked a bit unsteady on his feet. “Luke, these photos? They’re all junk.” “Seven years together, and we don’t have a single decent picture of just the two of us.” “No way!” Luke looked utterly incredulous, bending down to rummage through the box. But after he looked, he couldn’t say a word. Luke didn’t like taking pictures, he’d told me that ages ago. Every time I picked up my phone to open the camera, he’d instinctively dodge. Eventually, I figured, whatever, as long as we’re together. But then I accidentally scrolled past Chloe’s Ins feed, and picture after picture showed my boyfriend, Luke. By then, I was already really bothered by Chloe. So I set a boundary with Luke. He agreed, albeit reluctantly. But whenever Luke and I tried to take a picture, Chloe would always appear. It was either a hand, or half a face, or a corner of her clothes, or half a head. She always, at just the right moment, interrupted our photos. “Forget it, if we can’t get a good one, then don’t bother.” In the end, Luke would always walk away, annoyed. That’s why none of our photos were ever good. Our photos always had Chloe in them. Luke’s face was a mess, going from pale to flushed, his mouth opening and closing. Finally, he managed, “Chloe… she…” “She probably didn’t mean to…”
Right. How interesting. He used to say things like that too. Except back then, he wouldn’t say “probably.” He’d say “definitely.” I turned to look at the piano in the living room, and Luke’s gaze followed mine. That was a gift Luke bought me after graduation, with his first big paycheck. It was a gift he promised to buy me after I nagged him for a long time-the second gift in seven years of dating. The ridiculous thing is, I never even played it before it broke. After graduation, Luke and I moved in together. I was comfortable, living off my family’s support, taking my time to find a job. Luke was different. He started clawing his way up from his senior year of college. So I focused on being his pillar of support. During that time, Chloe was busy looking for work, so she rarely appeared. Luke and I’s relationship gradually strengthened. Luke got a promotion and a raise after his first project was a success. To celebrate, he invited a bunch of friends, including Chloe. “Aubrey! You’re such a good influence on Luke! You really keep him together!” “Luke, you mean this house is yours?” Chloe looked around, sizing up the place. I had a bad feeling then, and sure enough, Luke brought up the idea of letting Chloe move in. “Aubrey, Chloe’s apartment complex has had a few break-ins recently. I’m really worried about her living alone.” “If she comes, she can keep you company too!” Luke pleaded with me for a long time. I finally softened and agreed. But the first day Chloe moved in, she “accidentally” spilled water on the piano. I blew up at her, and Chloe ran off crying. The first thing Luke said when he brought her back wasn’t to comfort me, but to accuse me. “Chloe definitely didn’t mean to.” “It’s just a piano, Aubrey. Do you have to make such a huge deal out of it? You’re being so over-the-top!” “I’ll just buy you another one next time, okay?” In that battlefield of three, I never won. That time, I called it quits, but regretted it the next day. Later, the piano was never mentioned again. Luke followed my gaze to the piano, then looked down. “The piano…” “I… I just forgot about it later…” Yes, Luke had a bad memory. But only when it came to me, not Chloe. He couldn’t remember what subway stop my office was on, but he could tell you exactly where the best coffee shop was near Chloe’s job. He couldn’t remember I had pollen allergies, but he could remember Chloe didn’t like cilantro. I didn’t answer, walking directly into the room Chloe used to stay in. The room was painted pastel blue, with a crib, a high chair, a changing table… Everything was brand new and unopened. It was the nursery I had carefully decorated for Luke and my first child. “Luke, you and Chloe owe me a life. Forever.” His eyes instantly reddened. “Aubrey…” Luke reached out to grab me, but I stepped back.
In the summer of 2023, I got pregnant. Using that as an excuse, I demanded Chloe move out. At first, Luke even got mad at me for it, saying I was disrespectful. But when I told him I was pregnant, he fell silent. Truthfully, when Chloe wasn’t around, Luke was really good to me. Chloe had a fight with Luke over it, and they didn’t speak for a long time. Luke also started making arrangements to meet my family and for our engagement and wedding. That period, I was truly happy. It felt like a dream. On our wedding day, Chloe, whom I hadn’t seen in ages, appeared. She brought lavish gifts to celebrate us. In the dressing room, I genuinely believed her well-wishes were sincere. It wasn’t until the ceremony rehearsal that Chloe, volunteering to fix my train, somehow “tripped” and stomped right on it. I lost my balance, lurching forward into a metal floral stand by the stage. A sharp, searing pain ripped through my abdomen. Then, a cold, terrifying wetness spread between my legs. “The bride! The bride is bleeding!” The whole place erupted in chaos. The wedding came to a screeching halt. My baby was gone. When I woke up, I hysterically accused Chloe. “She did it on purpose! Luke, she did it on purpose!” “She deliberately stepped on my dress!” … I screamed my accusations, but Chloe didn’t argue. She just cried and apologized. “It’s my fault, all my fault. I’m so sorry, Aubrey, I’m so sorry!” Chloe admitted her mistake, even dropping to her knees in my hospital room. She even sank to her knees on the hospital room floor. In that moment, all my hurt and anger were muted. It seemed if I didn’t forgive her, I would be the one at fault. Luke held me, his whispers a hollow comfort. “Don’t think about it, it’s over.” “We’re still young, we can have more.” “Chloe, she… she didn’t mean it.” That incident was too painful. So painful I’ve made myself forget how it even ended. Our wedding plans were shelved after that, and the subject never came up again. “Aubrey…” “It’s over.” Luke looked utterly heartbroken, his hand gently patting my back as if to offer comfort. My eyes stung. I blinked hard, then closed the door. “Luke, you’re here for the belt, right?” He had no time to answer. I turned and went to the storage room. In the corner, on a shelf, lay the belt, still in its packaging. I shoved it into his arms. “Take it. Check if there’s anything else you want. Just take it all.” “And don’t come back here.” Luke’s knuckles were pale, his face ashen. “Aubrey, I actually-” Ding-dong! The doorbell interrupted Luke. I stepped around the mess on the floor and opened the door. The cute guy from the massage place stood at my door, holding my jacket. “You left this.” One doorway, three people, a tangle of conflicting emotions. Luke’s breathing turned ragged, his fury burning like a wildfire.
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