After the Sterling family fell, Uncle Julian was diagnosed with ALS. I resigned from my commission, borrowed from loan sharks, and shouldered the heavy burden of Uncle Julian’s remaining life alone. For five years, Beaten by debt collectors until my ribs cracked, I couldn’t bear to buy painkillers. Fainted from exhaustion on the way to work, I couldn’t bear to rest. Every penny was used to extend Uncle Julian’s life. Until I was working as a waitress in a five-star hotel, I saw Uncle Julian, who should have been sitting in a wheelchair waiting for me to come home, Wearing a crisp military uniform, epaulets shining, chatting and laughing leisurely with old subordinates. “General Sterling, you’ve been faking this ALS for five years. Sarah is almost drained dry trying to cure you. Is this punishment enough?” Uncle Julian scoffed lightly, “About enough. If Sarah hadn’t been so willful, unable to tolerate Lily, causing her depression, I wouldn’t have used faking bankruptcy and terminal illness to grind her temper.” “Lily transferred to the D.C. base to gild her resume, her mood is finally better, and she agreed to forgive Sarah.” “In a while, I’ll have the medical team arrange a ‘miracle recovery’. Sarah can return to the unit. having suffered enough, she should be sensible now.” The subordinate hesitated, “ALS is terminal, how can it recover? Will Sarah believe it?” Uncle Julian smiled confidently, “That silly girl, raised by me since childhood, which word of mine doesn’t she believe?” “Lily is a fallen hero’s orphan, sensitive. Sarah as the older sister should yield more. I’m doing this for her own good. Later… I will compensate her.” I lowered my head, tears falling silently. But Uncle, we have no “later.” Your terminal illness is fake. But mine, is real. Chapter 1 The cold wind outside the window scraped against my body, freezing. I was like a senseless puppet, fixed in place, enduring the slow slicing of my faith collapsing over five years. Every cut brought out dripping flesh and blood. Uncle’s comrade-in-arms Lincoln sighed: “I have to say, you are really cruel. That’s the child you raised yourself, the youngest ace sniper in the base. Resigned just because you said so, only in her early twenties, already worn out like an old woman. A few days ago, to scrape together money for your imported medicine, she was short eight hundred dollars and came to borrow from me.” Uncle’s face darkened immediately: “Did you lend it?” Lincoln shook his head helplessly: “You gave a death order, how would I dare? That girl stood at my dorm door all afternoon, fainted from low blood sugar, I didn’t dare help. Finally woke up, walked away holding the wall herself.” What Lincoln didn’t say was, that day, I put my service pistol to my temple. I said, Uncle Lincoln, there’s one bullet left in the chamber, if you don’t lend it, I’ll pull the trigger. Medicine cut off for seven days, Uncle coughed up blood foam from his lungs. But Lincoln just red-eyed, gritted his teeth and disarmed me, pushing me out like a plague god. Turns out, he didn’t want to lend, he couldn’t. Uncle snorted coldly: “Listen clearly. Before Lily returns from D.C. recuperation, no one is allowed to help Sarah. Whether she kneels, begs, or even dies in front of you, don’t look twice.” “Lily has a heavy heart, depression just improved. This five-year ‘punishment’ for Sarah cannot be one day less. Whoever upsets Lily, don’t blame me for being ruthless.” Dead silence in the private room. Someone reminded awkwardly: “General, aren’t you afraid Sarah will be heartbroken if she knows the truth?” Voice just fell, Uncle sneered: “Heartbroken? I raised her, I gave her life, what is this little grievance? Lily is different, she has no kin, suffered so much, it’s only right I treat her well.” His gaze swept over the room: “Words today, if one sentence drifts to Sarah’s ears out of this door, don’t blame me for not considering old feelings.” I leaned against the cold wall, limbs numb. Turns out, the five years I risked my life for were just a carefully arranged punishment. My future, my honor, just needed Lily to frown slightly, to become a light “only right” in Uncle’s mouth. I wanted to laugh, but a rusty bloody taste surged in my throat. Phone rang in the private room, footsteps approached the door. I had no time to hide, turned in panic, and bumped into the manager delivering wine. The bottle of military special supply white liquor on the tray shattered. Manager’s face changed drastically, slapped my face. Door opened, Uncle walked out quickly, didn’t even look here, opened his arms directly, catching the pouncing Lily. “Why came back yourself? Didn’t we agree Uncle would pick you up?” Lily laughed crisply: “I missed Uncle! Giving you a surprise!” Wearing a mask, I knelt on the cold marble floor, less than a meter away from them. Red eyes stung by the brilliant diamonds on Lily’s watch. Any diamond on that circle was enough for Uncle’s imported medicine for three months. Manager stepped forward apologetically: “General Sterling, really sorry… this wine, broken by this idiot.” Black military boots stopped in front of me. Uncle frowned impatiently: “Enough.” He pointed at me: “Since you broke it, clean this carpet with your hands. If Lily steps on half a shard, you swallow them piece by piece.” I knelt down, palm pressing the carpet moving slowly. Broken glass pierced skin, leaving fine blood marks. Lily hissed lightly, holding Uncle’s arm: “Uncle, my feet are sore.” “Delicate. I’ll carry you out, it’s dirty here.” Black military boots stepped over the back of my hand, left without pausing. I knelt on the spot, looking at the bloody palm, suddenly laughed low. Tears mixed with warm liquid gushing from nose dropped together. Manager jumped: “What’s wrong with you? Bleeding so much?” I stood up stumbling, wiped my face randomly with sleeve. Cuff instantly dyed red. “Maybe… dying soon.” Ignoring his stunned expression, I turned around, letting blood drops drag into a broken red line behind me, moving out step by step. Chapter 2 Pushing open the house door, the sound of porcelain breaking came from the kitchen. Uncle was struggling to prop up his body with arms, trying to climb up from the overturned wheelchair. Seeing me, he paused, lowered his head, eyes quickly red: “Sarah… Uncle just wanted to warm a glass of milk for you… I’m so useless… just a cripple…” He spoke slurrinly, drool spilling from corner of mouth, matched with trembling hands and desperate eyes, looking exactly like an ALS patient tortured by pain for years. I suddenly remembered, before “diagnosis,” Uncle had severe mysophobia. He, who wiped his pistol three times a day, military uniform without a wrinkle, could act this sloppy painful drama for five years for Lily. At this moment, I almost wanted to cut open his chest to see if his heart was made of stone. Seeing me silent, he slumped his shoulders dejectedly: “Sarah… do you despise Uncle being dirty? You go… leave me alone…” I walked over silently, righted the wheelchair, helped him up. Turned to fetch warm water, wiping stains for him. He suddenly grabbed my wrist, gaze landing on my bloody palm: “How did this happen? Who hurt you?” I stared at the fake anxiety in his eyes: “Hurt by someone who looks very much like Uncle.” “At the Grand Hotel.” Uncle tightened his jawline abruptly. I smiled again: “But I know that wasn’t Uncle. Uncle would never lie to me, right?” Uncle dodged my gaze: “Of course. Sarah is the most important person to Uncle, I will never lie to you.” I suppressed the soreness in my eyes, turned to push him out of the kitchen. Served dinner, living room empty. Bedroom door ajar, low voice came from inside: “Lily be good, Uncle prepared a big surprise for you tomorrow, celebrating your birthday personally.” On the phone, Lily’s voice delicate: “But tomorrow… is also sister’s birthday. Uncle not accompanying her, will she be sad?” “Silly girl. You are Uncle’s most important treasure. Sarah stopped celebrating birthdays long ago, used to it.” Lily cheered: “I knew Uncle treats me best!” I stood at the door for a long time. Finally, silently untied the apron, turned and left. When Uncle pushed the wheelchair out, the room was empty. A bowl of noodle soup on the table, and an imported pill wrapped in foil. Usually at this time, I went out for night shift. My bloodless face flashed in his mind, the hideous wound on palm, and that spine so thin it seemed to snap at a touch… An inexplicable panic suddenly seized his heart. He picked up the phone, quickly dialed a number. Next day, military hospital. I took Uncle for re-examination. Attending doctor looked excited: “Ms. Song! A research institute in D.C. has a special drug, miraculous for ALS! I fought for a trial spot for General Sterling!” Compared to his excitement, I just asked calmly: “How high is recovery probability?” “Over eighty percent!” Uncle red-eyed cooperatively: “Sarah… Uncle can get better… can continue to accompany you…” I pulled corner of mouth, revealing a very faint smile: “If only one can live between me and Uncle. No matter when, I hope the one surviving, is you.” Uncle stunned, frowning tight: “What nonsense! We will both live well. When Uncle recovers, returns to unit, you are still the proudest sniper in the base—” But this “pride,” I don’t want anymore. Along with Uncle, don’t want anymore. Doctor asked me out of office with excuse “complex examination process.” I knew, this was just an excuse to send me away. I stood at the corridor corner, watching Uncle quickly change out of patient gown, walking steadily into elevator. Downstairs, that familiar black sedan with military plates waited long ago. I withdrew my gaze silently, turned into another clinic at the end of corridor. “Ms. Song, your brain tumor has compressed major nerves, lost surgery opportunity.” Doctor sighed heavily, “If half a month ago… maybe there was hope. Probably… just these two days. Say goodbye to family properly.” I sat quietly for a long time, then nodded slowly. “After I die, please cremate me directly. Ashes… please send to West Mountain military family compound, give to Major General Julian Sterling.” Leaving only money on me, I walked out of hospital. Phone screen lit up, a new message popped up: [Come to family compound to see.] Sender was Lily. I hailed a taxi to West Mountain family compound. Five years, the single-family villa in military compound I thought changed owner long ago, now brilliantly lit, decorated like a fairy tale castle. Guests filled the door, clothes fragrant shadows. Lily wore a small diamond crown, white haute couture gauze dress, holding Uncle’s arm tightly. Surrounded by crowd, they stood before a six-layer cake. She put palms together, voice sweet: “My wish is to become Uncle’s only little princess, forever and ever.” Uncle smiled, taking out a deep blue velvet square box from military uniform pocket. The moment box opened. My whole body’s blood, seemed to freeze instantly. That was a pair of emerald bracelets. Said to be handed down in Sterling family for generations, only for Sterling daughter-in-law. On my eighteenth birthday, Uncle put it in my palm: “Sarah, whether you willing to accept Uncle or not, you are always the most precious little princess in my heart.” I once valued it more than life. In hardest times, guarded it desperately. Now, that pair of gentle emerald bracelets, resized thinner, engraved with new name inside, Lily. Amidst applause of blessing, Uncle solemnly put them on Lily’s slender wrists. “My little princess, congratulations, wish came true.” Chapter 3 I don’t know how I left that dazzling light. Phone vibrated continuously in pocket. [Actually at Grand Hotel, I recognized you, Sister.] [Saw clearly? Bracelet is mine, Uncle is mine too.] [You look like… an unwanted wild dog, so pitiful.] [Living so failed, better die right? Heehee.] [By the way, I asked Uncle to prepare a ‘birthday gift’ for you, please… enjoy well.] I wandered on cold streets like a wandering ghost all day. When night fell, returned to the rented old tenement building. Then, I understood what Lily meant by “gift.” Door wide open. Room like swept by storm. Uncle was pressed on ground with hands tied back, brand new military uniform covered in dust. He struggled, neck veins bulging. “Little girl, long time no see.” Leader man chewing toothpick, “This month’s money, should be paid right?” My face pale: “All debts, I clearly paid off.” “Paid off?” Man sneered, stepping on Uncle’s back, “I say not paid off, then not paid off. What, don’t want to give? Then see your precious Uncle, how many sticks can he take?” “Sarah… don’t mind me! Go! Quick go! Let them beat me to death… anyway I’m a useless person…” Exact same words. These five years, I heard countless times. I closed eyes tiredly. They “forced debt” countless times, but never really hurt Uncle a bit. And I, to protect this person who deceived me deeply, broke ribs, lamed leg, almost hollowed out everything of myself. Throat tasted rusty sweet. I asked hoarsely: “You… what exactly do you want?” Man looked me up and down, eyes contemptuous: “You crawl under our crotches one by one, bark three times like a dog for each. Today’s money, treat as us watching a show.” “No! Sarah! Cannot crawl!” Uncle roared, eyes red, struggling to get up, but pressed dead. I pulled corner of mouth numbly. Last weak flame in heart, poof, extinguished. “Okay.” I heard my own voice, terribly calm, “Since this is what you wish, consider it even.” Words clearly said to those men, but Uncle looked up sharply, a trace of unexpected panic掠過 eyes. But immediately, he remembered his promise to Lily. This is the last “lesson.” As long as Sarah survives, he takes her home, compensate double from now on. He still has a long life to make up. So, he moved gaze away, even, borrowing struggling action, secretly used micro camera hidden in cuff, took picture of me kneeling before men. Sent out. Crowd dispersed. I lay on ground long time before having strength to stand up. Uncle crawled over red-eyed, wanted to sell misery a few words, but after seeing my dead ash eyes, all muted in throat. Next day, doctor came to pick Uncle to D.C. for “special drug” treatment. Before getting in car, he held my hand tight, looking back three times a step: “Sarah, wait for Uncle back. Uncle definitely let you pick up sniper rifle again, be the most dazzling soldier in base. Never let anyone… bully you again.” I smiled, didn’t answer. Just quietly watched vehicle disappear at street end. Then, I bent violently, covering mouth, large amount of blood spilling from fingers. Doctor said, tumor rupture, is death date. Strange. Moment falling, I actually had no fear. Flashbacks in mind, all mottled but warm old times. It was Uncle taking me home from cold martyr cemetery, clumsily tying braids for me; It was my first live fire shooting missing target, he scolded with stern face, turned to stuff milk candy in my pocket secretly; It was when I high fever coma, he stayed by bed all night sleepless, holding my hand, saying over and over “Sarah don’t fear, Uncle here”. He said: “Our Sarah, deserves best of everything in world.” Warm liquid slid over cheek. I trembled fingers covered in blood, clicked phone screen. Used last strength, typed word by word: [Uncle, I’m not waiting for you.] [This life, compensating Sterling family’s raising grace, and Lily’s ‘grievance’. Bury me… beside my parents.] Message sent. I closed eyes weakly. At this time, phone on ground, vibrated crazily. Chapter 4 Just boarded private jet, Lily waiting in cabin pounced like happy bird. “Uncle! Finally can accompany me travel!” She pulled out a thick travel journal, every page pasted photos and ticket stubs, densely stamped with memorial stamps from all over world. That was Lily’s route of “recuperation” past five years. Every place, Uncle arranged top security team, most comfortable itinerary, most luxurious accommodation for her. He gave her reserved doting. But to deceive me, acted five years of dying patient by my side. Squeezed in cramped simple rental with me, eating cheapest food. Watching me take off military uniform personally, for his sky-high “medicine,” running in countless late nights, boiling myself into a skeleton. Now, just because Lily said “want to travel with Uncle,” he wove lies again, leaving me alone in that cold suffocating old house. These five years, He told too many lies, deception seemed instinct. But at this moment, before cabin door closed, that figure he glimpsed last unexpectedly crashed into heart. Heart suddenly pricked. Sharp pain. “Uncle? Why ignoring me?” Lily pouted, eyes red instantly, “If reluctant to leave sister, you can go back now… anyway I’m latecomer, sister hates me, you… you dislike me too, all should be…” Such words, Julian heard countless times. Every time, would make him feel pity, compensate double. But this time, brows locked tight, unprecedentedly didn’t comfort gently immediately. Lily is late subordinate’s daughter, grew up in military compound with us. Father died on duty, mother died of illness soon, Uncle saw her lonely, processed adoption. Raising two girls same time, burden on Uncle heavier. To not distract Uncle, I forced myself to limit, training, studying, only want to be his pride, not burden. But Lily at that time, fearing losing this hard-won “reliance,” actually secretly photographed draft of confidential document involving exercise adjustment in Uncle’s study, sent to competitor eyeing his position. That day, I caught in act outside study, blood rushed up, raised hand to hit. Slap not fallen, wrist grabbed tight by hurried back Uncle. He only saw my face twisted by anger, and Lily shrinking shoulders, crying like pear blossom in rain: “Sister… I know Uncle loves me you uncomfortable… but this document really not moved by me… if you insist wronging me, I… I willing accept any investigation, even military court…” That unfallen slap, finally turned into a crisp slap on my face by Uncle. Coldness and disappointment in his eyes, like ice pick quenched in poison. “Song Sarah, look at yourself, any look of soldier family left? You make me too cold hearted.” That was first time he hit me. Also from that time, scale tilted completely. Lily cried, it’s me narrow minded, can’t tolerate people. Lily emotional left home, it’s me crowding forcing. Lily “depression” attack, it’s me verbal stimulation. Later Sterling family “fell,” Lily sent abroad “recuperation” first time. At that time me, still naively thought, ten years interdependent feelings indestructible. I even secretly rejoiced, as long as no Lily across middle, me and Uncle can always return to past. But reality is head-on cold water, splashing people bone chilling. Lily wasn’t sent away, but properly settled by Uncle, to enjoy freedom and luxury I couldn’t imagine. When I was human sandbag in boxing club for few hundred medicine money, beaten vomiting blood refusing to fall; She complained private coach not professional enough in Alps ski resort. Julian silenced for long time. Only engine low roar in cabin. Many scenes deliberately ignored by him, now uncontrollably surged up— Remembering my eyes shining looking back at him after hundred hits in shooting range; Remembering I saved allowance, secretly buying canned food for stray retired army dogs at compound gate; Remembering me from small to big, except that time to Lily, never showed malice to anyone… And every time my “evil” to Lily, seemed only from Lily’s unilateral accusation. He tugged military uniform collar irritably, Lily’s thin sobbing in ear, only made him feel inexplicable restless now. “No one dislikes you.” He finally spoke, voice a bit dry, “Aren’t I accompanying you out? Later… don’t say such words.” Finally girl loved in heart tip for years, he eased face, preparing to get up, “I get you juice.” Just then, military encrypted phone on side seat, screen lit up suddenly. Phone just picked up, Lily reached snatching over. She pouted, shaking his arm: “Uncle, I’m hungry, you get me some fruit first okay?” Julian thought military affairs temporarily transferred, medical matters arranged properly, should be no urgent matter, nodded, turned to front cabin dining area. When he came back with fruit plate, phone screen already dark. Lily smiled sweetly, handing back phone: “It’s Uncle’s staff sending itinerary confirmation, I helped you reply ‘Received’.” Julian didn’t suspect, gaze cast to boundless cloud sea outside window. Bottom of heart somewhere, inexplicably empty, like missing a piece.
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